


Conquering The Darkness

by WritingCoffeeAddiction



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cancer, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Child Loss, Cigarettes, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Comfort/Angst, Deep Relationships, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Relationships, Explicit Language, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/F, Female Friendship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Forced Pregnancy, Forced To Witness Rape, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Fuckbuddies, Fucking, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hot-tempered, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Litchfield Prison, Love, Major Illness, Mild Smut, Miscarriage, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Nicky tries to comfort Lorna as she's being raped, Non-Explicit Sex, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Past Mother Issues, Past Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Mother, Prison Sex, Protectiveness, Psychological Torture, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Serious, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Sister-Sister Relationship, Smoking, Solitary Confinement, Some Humor, Strong Female Characters, Strong Friendships, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unplanned Pregnancy, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, anger issues, dark angst, deep friendships, mother figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-27 20:42:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 125,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10048454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingCoffeeAddiction/pseuds/WritingCoffeeAddiction
Summary: Nicky Nichols lands herself a four-year prison sentence for drug addiction and a year-and-a-half later, Lorna Morello lands herself in the same prison with a three year sentence. When things get rough for these two young women, will they lean on each other for support? Nicky/Lorna.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the show or characters; all I own is the writing and story (anything that is not from the show).
> 
> Warning Warning, Anger and CapsLock Incoming: PLEASE DO NOT COPY AND POST MY STORIES ON OTHER FANFICTION SITES CLAIMING THEM AS YOUR OWN. THAT'S EXTREMELY RUDE. THESE ARE ALL MY STORIES THAT I WORK HARD ON. I ONLY SAY THIS BECAUSE I'VE HAD THE PLEASURE OF FINDING CONQUERING THE DARKNESS POSTED ON WATTPAD UNDER THIS USERNAME: JACKGHASTLY. THIS PERSON DECIDED TO COPY MY STORY AND CLAIM IT AS THEIR OWN AND I AM EXTREMELY INFURIATED OVER THIS. MY WRITING AND IDEAS HAVE BEEN STOLEN BY THIS PERSON. SO THANKS TO THIS PERSON, I NOW HAVE TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE KNOW NOT TO COPY MY STORIES FROM HERE AND POST THEM ELSEWHERE.* Thank you. (Sorry for the rant and caps but this is just upsetting and sickening to me that someone would do this.)

Prison has become more of a home for Nicky Nichols than her actual home. Even though she has only been in prison for eighteen months, it feels much more homey than where she grew up. Her mother barely paid attention to her as a child – hiring nanny after nanny to care for her so _she_ wouldn't have to bother with her. With the neglection from her own mother, Nicky easily took to the wrong crowd and quickly became heavily addicted to taking drugs – most specifically heroin. And thanks to her heroin addiction, she landed herself in prison for four years (which is now only 2.5 years).

* * *

Lunch time hits causing the prisoners to fill the cafeteria, impatiently waiting in line for their food. Nicky sits at her usual table surrounded by the usual crowd of people – whom she considers mostly family. She takes a bite of food as she listens to the conversation that is going on around her and out of the corner of her eyes, she notices an unfamiliar woman. Piqued in interest, she keeps her eyes on the inmate – who chooses to sit at an empty table and timidly plays with the food on her tray.

As she gathers her own tray to go sit with the lonely new inmate, she ignores the strange stares her family is giving her. Nicky walks over to the other table, plopping herself down across from the other woman. "Is today your first day here, kid? I'm pretty sure I've never seen ya before…and believe me I know everyone so I would know if you were here before," she says, staring across at her as she takes in her features – short brown curls of hair, innocent brown eyes, and bright-red lipstick.

"First day, unfortunately," the brown-haired inmate responds, a very heavy Brooklyn (possibly mixed with a tad of Boston) accent evident. Her eyes dart back down to her food, she continues to push it around with her fork – not exactly in the mood to eat. "I'm Lorna—erm—Morello, I mean."

Nicky smirks, finding her name to be very suitable. "Lorna Morello, eh? Sounds Italian and hot," she chuckles playfully, but deep down she means it – looking this woman's body over, she longs to have her. "I'm Nicky Nichols; my mother was very uncreative and practically named me after my own fucking last name. So, what'd ya do to get yourself locked up?" Intrigued to know what this petite inmate did would be a bit of an understatement. Nicky couldn't picture her doing something horrible to land herself here.

"Online shopping scams," she mumbles into her tray, grabbing a tiny spoonful of watered-down applesauce. "What did you do, Nichols Nichols? Is your first name really Nichols too? Since you said you're named after your last name…" Lorna laughs a small laugh, hardly able to believe one's parent could be too lazy to give their child a proper name.

"Close – it's Nicole but everyone calls me Nicky, except my idiot mother," Nicky smirks, her eyes pouring into the woman across from her. She isn't too surprised to hear what Lorna did to receive prison time; she doesn't look like the type to do anything too heinous. "Online scamming, ay? Sucks you got caught, kid! What did I do – you really wanna know? I did this thing called drugs. Heroin, actually; I love the damn thing, makes me feel so in tune with life." A dreamy look in her eyes as she talks about her favorite drug of choice.

"Oh, you're a drug addict…Hmm, you don't really look like one," Lorna observantly responds. She always imagined drug addicts to have an acne-filled face, barely any teeth, and raggedy hair. That could be because her parents sheltered she and her older siblings, so she never had the chance to see what people were like outside of the bubble of her family.

Nicky chuckles. "And what exactly would you qualify a drug addict to look like, huh?"

"S-sorry," Lorna timidly answers, feeling bad for her naivety. "Just you know, only seen drug users in TV shows and movies…so I figured that's how they looked in real life. My bad, my bad."

"Ay, don't fret over it, kid. Anyway, I gotta head to work – and yes, we have jobs in here – so I'll see ya around, Morello." Nicky starts to get up, but turns to give one more stare at the brunette, "Come sit with me and my family later for dinner. I think you'll like them."

* * *

Lorna Morello aimlessly walks around the prison, after leaving the cafeteria, and silently wonders why she had to end up in such a place as this. She's always been the 'good girl' in her family – she never got in trouble at school or with her parents, she made sure to get straight As, she refused to have sex until marriage (mostly because of her parents' strong Catholic faith pushing her not to), and she mostly kept to herself. So, how the hell did she end up in prison – and for a solid three years at that?

"Hey, new girl," a voice calls out, startling Lorna out of her thoughts. She turns to look at the person calling her, and shivers a bit when she realizes how much taller the woman is than her and how she has a lustful gleam in her eyes. "Mm, look at you – so small and sexy! I sure wonder what the fuck you did to get sent here! Refuse to have sex with an officer, maybe?" The woman nearly purrs, walking closer to Lorna – staring her over hungrily.

Terrified, Lorna starts backing away and when that doesn't seem to do much, she turns and runs as fast as she can in the opposite direction. She continues down the hallway, hoping to get as far away from that woman as possible. Rubbing her temples, she lets out a relieving sigh and heads back to the dorm she's been assigned to. She smiles a bit when she sees the two older women who are in the room – she really likes how kind they are, for prisoners anyway.

"How's your day going, Morello? Made any friends yet?" A short heavy-set Italian woman with short brown hair asks, looking up at Lorna with her dark brown eyes that are heavily outlined in a light-blue eye shadow.

Lorna sits down on her bed, which is right across from the other inmates and the top bunk of another woman's bed. She gives a shrug and half smile. "I mean it could be worse, I guess. And I might of, I think…Some girl – Nicky, I believe – came to sit with me at lunch and said I can sit with her and her "family" from now on. Weird to be calling people in prison one's family, though."

"Without a prison family, it'd be awfully lonely in here," the older Italian woman replies, giving a sympathetic smile. "Oh, Nichols? Oughta watch out for that one – she can be quite the feisty one. Nah, but really she's a good person just has a bit of a temper." She reaches under her bed and pulls out her knitting supplies, getting to work on a blanket she started a while ago.

"You knit?" Lorna arches her eyebrow with curiosity. She watches with content as the older inmate begins to play around with the yarn and needle – it gives her a comforting feeling, and reminds her of her grandmother.

Looking up from her work, the Italian nods. "It keeps me busy, and my grandkids love homemade blankets and what have you. I'm too old for all the prison drama that goes on, so this is my outlet."

* * *

"Who was that you went to sit with at lunch, Nichols?" A woman with blonde braided hair questions curiously, staring up from her job assignment and over to the redhead.

"Probably just someone she's trying to get in the pants of," another inmate retorts, causing the room to fill with laughter and snickers.

Nicky rolls her eyes while flipping her middle finger up at them, and then turns back to the blonde. "Her name's Morello – Lorna Morello – and no I didn't just sit with her because I wanna have sex with her, although that would be nice! She was all alone, and I being the nice person that I am, decided to give her some company. And I told her she can sit at our table from now on."

Tricia, the blonde-haired inmate, nods with a smirk. "Sounds like you're already plotting how to go about getting her to have sex with you." She knows all too well how much Nicky loves to have sex and the lengths that she will go to satisfy that love. "What's she look like, anyway? Is she hot? I mean it don't really matter to me, since I already got myself a hot girlfriend."

"Hot, stunning, beautiful," Nicky smirks, her mind lusting heavily after the young woman. "She's petite and Italian – brown hair, brown eyes. And apparently enjoys wearing bright-red lipstick, which of course makes her even hotter. Oh, and I can't forget her accent; very distinct and noticeable."

"Uh-huh, sounds like somebody here is gonna be getting a sex-fix soon!" Tricia laughs before the CO yells at both she and Nicky to get back to work.

* * *

When dinner time finally arrives, Lorna slowly walks to the cafeteria to get her tray. She looks around at the tables trying to find the one that Nicky told her to sit at. Relief washes over when she notices a familiar bush of red curls and makes her way to the table. She sits down – a few inches away from everyone, nervous as to what they might do. "Uh, is it all right if-if I sit here with you guys? I mean Nichols told me I could earlier…but you know if the rest of you don't want me to I'm sure I can find somewhere else to sit. It's, it's no big deal," her voice shakes somewhat as she stares timidly down at the food on her tray.

"Hey, kid, if I tell you to sit with us – then it's okay. These guys don't care as long as you don't try to steal their food; food is what they live for," Nicky jokes, looking over at the petite woman. She notices how she's distanced herself from the rest of them and gives a reassuring smile, "You don't have to sit that far away, kid. No one's gonna bite your head off or anything! Come on, get over here." She pats the empty spot next to her.

"What's your name?" A soothing voice asks, belonging to an older woman with spikey white-blonde hair and a kind smile on her face. "You look too nice to be in here."

Moving down to sit beside Nicky, Lorna looks down at her food as she aimlessly moves her fork around. "Lorna Morello," is her small response, suddenly not quite in the mood to socialize. She dreads that this is her 'home' now and that there's still so many days she must wake up here.

"Morello? Must be another fellow Italian. Have you met Anita yet? She's Italian too," the older inmate wonders, and smiles when she gets a nod from her. "Anita's a nice person – she's always knitting things for her grandchildren."

Just now realizing Lorna's presence at her table, a short black-haired inmate – with a tattoo covering her entire arm – smirks at her. "I believe we've already met, haven't we? You gonna tell us how ya got in here, little sexy Morello?" She brings one of her fingers up to her mouth, licking it as she gives a wink to the horrified brunette.

Swallowing heavily, Lorna timidly stares down at her tray. She's not sure how long she will be able to survive in this place. "Uh well uh—"

"It's okay, kid – ignore Boo, she's just trying to get under your skin. Just eat your food, you don't need to tell us anything," Nicky says firmly, looking at the brunette. And then she stares harshly over at Boo, giving a kick to her leg under the table, "Cool it. You're gonna give the poor kid a heart attack!"

Boo rolls her eyes, blatantly irritated but doesn't say much else.

A few minutes go by and joining them at the table is the prison chef – a middle-aged Russian woman with sharp-red hair, hard blue eyes, and permanently arched eyebrows. "I see we've got a new friend here today," she says, a very thick accent to her voice. She stares at the new inmate, easily noticing how nervous and afraid she seems to be, and puts on a friendly smile. "Don't look so sad – it gets easier with each day you're here, honey."


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh, Franny," Lorna says into the phone, tears running down her cheeks, "I-I don't know if, if I can survive here for three long years… It's unnerving, and I – it's just too much for me!" She grips tightly on to the phone as her vision becomes blurrier with all the crying she's doing.

Franny Morello, Lorna's older sister, sighs sadly on the other end. "I know it's hard, Lorn. I hate that you have to spend three years in there, but sweetie…you kinda did this to yourself. Anyway, try to keep yourself calm and don't do anything stupid! I'll come visit you this weekend…and if you're up for it, I can bring the baby."

The simple suggestion of Franny's bringing the baby for a visit brings a batch of fresh tears to her eyes. Another reason she hates herself for getting thrown in prison. "Franny…prison is no place for a baby," Lorna sobs out. "I don't-I don't want him to think this is normal…for his mommy to be rotting away in fucking prison!"

"He's a _baby_ , that's exactly why I should bring him. He won't even remember any of this anyway. So, what's the trouble of bringing him to see you? Maybe if you see him you'll feel better and try to stay somewhat sane in that place." Franny does her best to try to convince her sister to allow her to bring her son. She knows, deep down, it will be in the best interest of Lorna for her to do so. "Look, I gotta go – the baby's crying. Please try to be okay, Lorn. I love you; call me tomorrow and let me know your decision."

* * *

That night as Lorna lays restlessly on her bed, she bolts up and realizes where she is. "I'm, I'm in prison," she whispers, pinching her arm to make sure this isn't all just a horrible nightmare. It's certainly not a nightmare, she internalizes, this is real – she's really in prison. Teary-eyed once again, Lorna slowly climbs down from the bunk and starts heading out the door.

"Morello, where are you going?" Anita's voice sleepily calls out, her brown eyes barely peeping out of their lids. "The COs get real antsy if they see anyone out in the hall this time a night…especially Mendez. And trust me, you do not wanna accidentally be caught by him."

Lorna bites her lip. "Erm, I'm just going to the bathroom real quick. Is that allowed?" She nervously looks at the older inmate, who just gives a slight nod and falls back asleep. Very silently, the young brunette walks out of the room and down the hall in the direction of the restrooms. She tries to be as quiet as possible so that none of the COs notice she's outside of her dorm.

Fortunately, there are no officers around – making it much easier for her to enter the bathroom. She goes over to the sink and stands there while giving a hard look at her reflection in the mirror above it. "You did this to yourself," Lorna repeats the words her older sister said to her. She turns the water on, splashing it angrily onto her face. "Oh, you did this to yourself all right…and your family! You ruined your family and yourself!" Her voice gets louder as tears flow down her cheeks.

"Is that you, Morello?" The Russian chef questions, coming out of a stall and over to the sinks to wash her hands. She gives an empathetic look over to the tiny brunette, knowing how easy it is to dwell on the past. "You know…beating yourself over whatever it is you did to get in here isn't going to change the fact that – _well_ – you're in here. Believe me, I've been in here for many years and blaming myself hasn't helped me one bit."

Lorna turns away from the mirror to stare at her. "Oh, uh, hi – Red ya said it is?" She watches as the other nods to answer her. "I guess that's true. It doesn't matter how much I yell at myself, I'm not gonna get outta here sooner… Just really sucks knowing I could have prevented myself from getting sent here."

Red frowns slightly, reaching over to give a gentle pat to Lorna's hand. "Don't worry – the first night is always the hardest. You'll be okay. Pretty soon they'll assign you a job and you won't have to let your thoughts wander on about how you ended up here. You should go back to your bunk and try to get some sleep, sweetheart."

* * *

"Nichols, wake up," Tricia yells, shaking the redhead by the shoulders. "I saw that Morello girl in the bathroom and she looks pretty lonely. Might wanna go in there and cheer her up, Nicky! You know, before Boo gets to her first." She tries to entice the older woman out of her sleep.

Nicky groans. She hates to be woken up. "Humph," she grumbles, slowly waking up and glaring hotly at her blonde bunk-mate. "Boo ain't going anywhere near her…I already warned her. God, why the fuck are you so desperate that I get my sex fix anyway? What's it to ya, kid?" She throws the blankets off and sits up on the bed.

"Oh yeah, cause' we all know how fuckin' well Boo listens. She obviously doesn't give a shit what you told her since I saw her givin' lustful little winks to Morello – who was mortified, I might add," the younger inmate says, folding her arms over her chest as she stares back at Nicky. "And it's nothin' really, just know how much you miss havin' it and plus, I want you to be happy – like happy as I am with Mercy. Besides, if anyone should have sex with that girl, it should be you. At least you ain't gonna scare the shit outta her."

Chuckling, Nicky gets up off her bed and gives a quick hug to Tricia – who she considers a sister these days. "Well, aren't you the sentimental one?" She playfully ruffles her hair before releasing the embrace. "Guess I better go rescue Morello before she's scarred for life. And beat the shit outta Boo for not leaving her the fuck alone."

* * *

Nicky walks into the bathroom and, by the sounds of crying, can tell that she's a bit too late. She slowly follows the sound of the cries, leading her to a stall that's farthest from the door. Giving it a gentle knock, she calls out, "Hey, Morello – that you in there?" She hears a very quiet response, and knows for sure that it's Lorna – there's no way she could mistake _that_ accent. "Open the door, kid. Come out here, it's just me."

"I rather not come back out there," Lorna mumbles, her cries slowly dying down. "I hate it here. I just, I wanna go home."

Nicky lets out a sad sigh. She remembers her first few days here – they were absolutely brutal; she had a horrible withdrawal from heroin, a terrible way to start off her sentence, but thankfully Red was there to help her through. "I know it sucks here, kid…but you gotta make the best of it, you have three years' time to do. Come on, open the door. You gotta come out, anyway, it's almost time for breakfast. I'm not leaving until I see you come outta that stall," she firmly states, watching as the door slowly opens.

"How-how long have you been here, Nichols?" Lorna asks, peaking her head out at her. She's still not too keen on the idea of leaving the stall.

"Over a year, and still got two and a half to go. It sucks, not gonna lie to ya kid. But you'll survive, I promise. Now come on – come with me, we'll go talk to Red and see if she has anything for you to do while you wait for a job assignment. Trust me, keeping yourself busy is the best thing you can do in here, kid." Nicky gently grabs the brunette's hand, pulling her out of the stall and leading her down to the cafeteria.

* * *

While Lorna's still waiting in line for food, Nicky takes the time to glare heavily at Boo. "What the fuck did you do to, Morello? You fuckin' have her all traumatized now! I know you like to try out all the new inmates but _come on_ – you saw how nervous she was yesterday, why would you go and make her feel worse?!" She angrily yells, stabbing her fork over and over on her tray. "She has three years to do and thanks to you, she's dreading this place. God, you're such a piece of shit sometimes, Boo!"

"Sounds like somebody's got their panties in a knot. Why do you care so much about this new inmate, huh Nichols? You got yourself a little love interest? Is _thee_ Nicky Nichols becoming a – a softy?" Boo chuckles, taking a bite of oatmeal. "And please, all I did was touch her a few times and then stopped when she started crying – claiming she's _"straight, and happily engaged_ ". I don't fuck pussies like that, ya know. She's all yours, Nichols…if ya want a straight, happily engaged woman that is," she smirks, mocking Lorna's words.

"Fuck off," Nicky flips her off, going back to eating her breakfast as she waits for Lorna to join them. She smiles when the brunette sits beside her, "Hey, kid."

"Hey," Lorna gives a half-smile as she brings a tiny spoonful of the runny oatmeal to her mouth. She shutters a bit when she notices Boo's sitting across from them, but says nothing while her eyes focus down on the food.

Nicky gives a comforting pat to her hand. "Don't worry, Boo won't be bothering you anymore. She's got other things to occupy her," she gives a hard stare over at the older woman before turning her attention back to Lorna. "So, how was your first night?"

"I guess it could have been worse… At least they let me call my sister," Lorna replies, shrugging her shoulders.

"Good morning everyone," Yoga Jones greets, having a seat beside Boo. She looks over at the brunette and gives her a friendly smile. "How's it going for you here, Morello? Feeling more normal today?"

Lorna chokes on her food, giving an odd glance at the other. " _Normal_? How the hell can anyone feel normal in prison? I don't think I'll ever feel normal – not in a place like this." She truthfully states.

"Well, this is a permanent place of residency for us for at least a few years…so we have to kind of go about our lives. Life doesn't just stop because you're stuck in prison. None of us want to be here but we can't change what we did. You'll start feeling more yourself soon – once they assign you a job, you'll have something to keep your mind occupied."

* * *

"Hey, Lipstick," a strong male voice calls out. It startles Lorna as she timidly turns to see who it belongs to. Her heart beats faster when she sees the man – an odd brown hairstyle and seventies-style mustache, he looks to be a sex offender. "It's your lucky day – you're the new transport driver, and we got places to go. So, get a fuckin' move on and follow me to the van." He stares her body over, smirking lustfully as he leads her outside to the transport vehicle.

Lorna nervously does as he asks, getting into the driver's side of the van while he gets in on the other side. She gulps. "Is this-is this legal for me to-to drive? I'm a prisoner…this doesn't make sense," her voice is shaky and small.

"Shut the fuck up and turn the damn thing on. We got shit to do, inmate," the officer growls, giving a hard glare. "You little slutty whore, you better just keep your mouth shut and drive. I don't have time for bullshit today!"

* * *

Sitting in the rec-room with a bag of chips and her eyes glued to the television, Nicky jumps a bit when she hears her name called. "What the hell, Trish? Can't you see I'm in the middle of not giving a fuck at the moment." She groans heavily, glaring at the blonde. Any time she tries to relax in prison, someone must come agitate her. For one day, she just wanted to have an afternoon of peace.

"Just thought you might wanna know about your favorite new inmate…but I can come back if it's such a hassle," the younger woman says, about to turn and leave. But Nicky gives her a longing stare, so she stays and tells her what she knows, "Looks like Morello is the new van driver. I saw Mendez take her out to it and they took off. Wonder where they went… Can't be anything good if it's Mendez in charge, he's a perve."

"Oh shit! Let's just fucking hope he doesn't do anything. She seems too much of a people-pleaser to be able to fend for herself," Nicky sighs, inwardly hoping he won't do something to the frail inmate. She knows just what a nasty man he is – as does the entire prison – and he will do whatever he wants to do, not a single care in the world.

The blonde nods. "I don't think he will. At least not now – he usually waits a while before he does something to the new ones. Well, I gotta head down to electrical before Luschek has a fit. Lucky, you got out early, Nicky!" She says, waving on her way out of the room.

With Tricia finally gone, Nicky happily goes back to watching TV and chowing down on her potato chips.

* * *

Saturday morning finally arrives and Lorna can't be more grateful. She has been waiting all week to finally see her older sister – the two have always been so close; they hardly ever spent time away from each other. So, now that she's stuck with a three-year prison sentence, she can't imagine how hard the separation will be for them. Franny's always taken care of her and made sure she never did anything stupid. And yet here she is, locked away for doing exactly what her sister tried to keep her from doing.

After being called down to the visitation area, Lorna smiles so bright when she sees her older sister sitting at a table waving to her. She runs – rather speed walks as to not get in trouble – over, wrapping her in a bone-crushing embrace. "Oh, God, Franny… it's so, so good to see you!" Lorna cries out, not wanting to let go of her. But reluctantly, they both release the embrace and sit at the table. "You didn't bring the baby?" She asks, but is mostly relieved to see that. She would hate for a baby to come to such a place.

"Well, you never got back to me about it…and I didn't want to upset you if I brought him anyway." Franny takes a good look at the younger woman, noticing how her frame is a bit smaller than usual and her normally cheerful eyes don't have that glow anymore. She frowns. "Are you taking care of yourself, Lorn? I know you're in prison and all but you still gotta live. It's only three years, and who knows – maybe they'll let you out sooner if you stay outta trouble."

Lorna shakes her head, a bit irritated. "I know, I know… _Only_ three years?! Maybe for you it's only three but in here that seems like a fucking eternity. This place is horrible, Fran! Some of these women…they're _lesbians_. And there's this creepy officer, who made me drive with him to the—never mind," she stops herself, not wanting to talk anymore about how awful the last few days have been for her. "How's Emilio? And who's watching him? I hope to God you didn't fuckin' leave him with dad…he's useless."

"Back up a minute, Lorna… Who's this officer that took you for a drive? Is that even fucking legal? He didn't hurt you or nothin', did he? Well it is prison, so of course there's gonna be lesbians, Lorn. Just ignore them if they make you feel uncomfortable." Franny gives a comforting pat to the other's hand when the guards aren't looking. "He's getting so big, and getting into everything he shouldn't. Just the other day I found him trying to eat the cat's food. And no I did not leave him with dad…Mikey offered to watch him and my two kids – said something about wanting to take them to the park or something."

"He didn't do anything, he's just really creepy," Lorna responds, not wanting to speak too much on the matter. "And yes, it's legal, apparently. I was assigned to be the transport driver…which is strange to me but whatever." She smiles hearing about her son – being away from him and missing out on his life is going to be the hardest thing she will ever have to do. "I wish I could be there to see him grow…he'll be three years old when I see him next…he won't even remember that I'm his fucking mother!"

Franny sighs, giving a sympathetic look to her younger sister. "He won't forget you, Lorn. Mikey and I won't let that happen. And we can always bring him to see you next time. I think that would do the two of you some good."

"We'll see, Fran… I just really wouldn't feel comfortable with my baby being in here," the younger brunette says.

Hearing that makes Franny roll her eyes. "Lorna, seriously, he's a baby – he doesn't care where the fuck he is as long as he gets to see his mom. But whatever, it's your choice. If you wanna deprive both you and your son from seeing each other, have at it." She shakes her head in frustration, but won't push it any further as to not cause an argument between she and Lorna. "Try to make some friends in here, Lorn. I know you like to keep to yourself but this is a depressing place to be…I don't want you to start to mentally decline or anything. There's gotta be some decent people in here for you to talk to."

Nodding, Lorna slightly smiles. "I kind of have made a friend. I think. This woman, Nichols, came and sat with me the first day I was here. She's real nice. And the one lady in the cell room I'm in, she's an older Italian and kinda makes me think of Nona. She's always knitting stuff for her grandchildren."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick Author's Note: So, I know most people write about Nicky's and Red's relationship - which I, of course, will include in this story - but hardly anyone writes about Lorna's and Red's. And that's why I decided to do so, as well, in this story. Lorna needs a mother figure too!

"Hey ma," Nicky calls out, walking into the prison's kitchen as she looks for Red. She passes Norma and Gina, who are busy peeling potatoes, and finds the Russian chef sitting back in her small office – seeming to be looking over a list of her inventory. A smile on her face, she slowly enters it as she gives an intent stare to the older woman. "Ma, can we talk?"

Hearing her voice, Red looks up from the paper and turns to stare back at her prison daughter. "What have you done now, Nicky?"

"I didn't do anything…nothing bad anyway," the redhead chuckles, plopping herself down on one of the raggedy chairs. "Ya know how I sometimes lurk around the visitation room?" Red slowly nods and Nicky continues, "Well I kinda overheard Morello's conversation with her sister…and apparently, she's got a baby. She's a fucking mother – can you believe that?"

"Well usually when a woman has a baby, she becomes a mother…so yes, I can believe that," Red makes a light sarcastic remark, which causes Nicky to chuckle and shake her head. "Now, Nicky, you better not get yourself into her business. If she doesn't want for the whole prison to know about her personal life, that is her right. In fact, I'm a bit surprised to see that you somewhat care about this girl's well-being…you usually just want the sex. But I think it's very kind of you to not just try to get in her pants."

Smirking, Nicky only gives a shrug of her shoulders. "Gee thanks, ma. I'm kinda happy with myself, too, for not doing anything yet. I mean it's been five days since she got here and I haven't fucked her yet. That's a first for me. I never wait this long to have sex with the new girls."

Red gives a small glare to her daughter, waving her hand at her. "Enough of that, Nicky. I don't need or want to hear about your sex life. Go find something productive to do, I've got to get back to my work."

* * *

It's the middle of the night when Lorna finds herself wandering off to the bathroom – she can't seem to fall asleep tonight, there is too much going on in her mind. As she makes her way inside the room, she notices a familiar redhead sitting in the back and trying to discretely smoke a cigarette. "Nichols? You're smoking – is that even legal in here?"

Chuckling, Nicky looks over at her. "Oh, yeah, _of course_ smoking is legal in prison. Didn't you know that, kid?" She sarcastically says, smirking as she lets her eyes wander lustfully at Lorna's petite body. "What's got you walking around the halls this time of night? Hard time sleeping? I know the feeling, kid. That's why I gotta have me one of these before I go to sleep," she points at the cigarette between her fingers.

"Those aren't good for you, ya know? They ruin your lungs," Lorna states matter-of-factly.

"Huh, is that right?" Nicky lets out an airy breath, finishing the last of her cigarette. She pitches it in the trash and walks close to the brunette. She places her hands onto her shoulders, staring intently into her eyes. "You know, I think I might I know of a way to help us both get a good night's rest. I just don't know what you'll think of it," her hand slowly runs down Lorna's cheek as a soft smirk lay amongst her face.

Lorna uncomfortably gulps, her hands becoming clammy with sweat. "And uh what-what exactly would that be?" The feeling of Nicky's hand against her cheek isn't that unpleasant – it's enjoyable, surprisingly.

Without saying a word, Nicky brings the younger woman over to a shower stall and gently pushes her against the wall. She runs her hands down along the entirety of her body, never taking her eyes off her. There's a slight amount of fear and shock in Lorna's brown eyes, which the redhead notices and gives her a warm smile. "I'm not gonna hurt ya, kid. Don't worry. I just wanna make you feel good, because I know you've had a shitty first few days here." She caresses her cheek tenderly.

Her hands explore all throughout the small brunette's body, leaving her feeling tingly and warm inside. She gently reaches down to the lower portion of Lorna's body, carefully traveling to her khakis, and stopping right before her hands go in. Quickly, she glances up to make sure the other is okay with this – receiving a tiny pleasurable whimper in response. Nicky smiles and continues, slowly inserting her hands underneath the thick cotton material and finding their way inside Lorna. She cautiously begins to apply pressure, making it deeper and deeper as she sees the blissful expression on the other's face.

"Oh God, N-Nicky," she cries out and doesn't even realize that she's moaning out the older woman's _first_ name. "Please-please don't s-stop!"

Nicky smirks, repeating the same motion and adding more pressure. "Oh, believe me…I won't, kid; I won't stop until you collapse to your knees from the intensity of pleasure you'll experience."

* * *

The next morning, Nicky wakes up with a smile on her face. She makes her bed – something she barely ever cares to do – and gets out her journal. As she begins to jot things down in it, she's interrupted by the sound of her bunk-mate's footsteps coming into their shared cube. "Wow, this is a first. Never see you up so early and your bed made without being reminded," the blonde observes, staring over at Nicky. A smirk grows on her face, though, realizing she must have finally gotten laid. "Oh shit, you had sex with Morello, didn't you?"

"We sure fuckin' did. Best sex I've had in a long while," Nicky smirks, writing everything down in her journal (or as she likes to refer to it, her _fuck book_ ). "God – only one orgasm and she's a puddle of emotions! Never seen someone quite like her."

Tricia sits down beside her and lets out a chuckle. "Figures. She probably never even had sex before – she looks like one of those church-goers. You really work miracles, Nicky; you can get almost any fucking women to have sex with you." She shakes her head, smirking at her friend.

" _Hey_ , I can't help that I'm a chick magnet," Nicky jokes, staring over at the blonde. "And besides, she sure as hell didn't complain! In fact, she practically begged me _not_ to stop."

* * *

Plopping in the chair beside Lorna, Nicky gives a smile. "Mornin' kid. How was your night – get some sleep?" She gives a playful wink as she wraps an arm around her shoulder.

Lorna looks around nervously, relieved that no one else has made it to their table yet. She glances back at the redhead and gives her a small smile. "Yeah, I actually did. I had a nice time with you last night. Thanks for that, Nicky – can I call you that or you rather I stick with your last name?" She whispers, not wanting anyone else to hear. Coming from a Catholic background, sleeping with a person out of wedlock was frowned upon and even more so when that person is the same gender as one's self.

"Sure thing, kid," Nicky chuckles, running a hand through her hair. "I guess we can go by first names now – since ya know, we've had our sexual initiation." She jokes light-heartedly as she takes a bite of her breakfast. "And ya don't have to whisper about it; everyone here is a tiny bit lesbian, so it's no big deal."

Joining them is Yoga Jones and Tricia, who sit on the opposite side of the table. Tricia gives a knowing smirk over to Nicky and a wave to the brunette sitting next to her. "How's it going, Morello? I don't think the two of us have really had a good conversation," she stares at her while starting in on the half-thawed waffle.

"Oh, ya know it's going…where, I don't know. Still not able to comprehend that I'm really in here—in prison," Lorna babbles, nervously playing around with her food. She cuts her plastic knife into the waffle and drenches it in the syrup. "These remind me of the kinda waffles my mom used to give me and Franny in the mornings before school. I always loved them, and I still do – even if they are only half toasted, it's better than nothing." She brings a huge forkful and shoves it in her mouth.

"Wow, kid, you really know how to eat," Nicky watches her in amusement, a laughing grin on her face.

Yoga Jones smiles, chowing down on her own waffle. "It's good to see you more enthusiastic about life, Morello. A positive attitude can go a long way in here."

"Well, I had a good talk with my sister yesterday and she kinda helped with that." Lorna replies through a mouthful of food.

Nicky's interest grows at the mention of her meeting with her older sister. She turns to face her with curiosity showing in her eyes. "How many siblings ya have, kid? From a big family or small?" She hopes to get the brunette to open up to her and tell her about this 'son' she has.

"I'd say it's a pretty big family…Let's see there's my mom and dad, my older sister Franny, and my older brother Mikey. And of course, I can't forget about Franny's bunch of wild kids – she pops em' out like crazy. The new one is a like a kitten – gets into everything cause he's so damn curious! Then Mikey's got his kid – _a damn dog_ , who tears up all the fuckin' furniture. Crazy house and crazy people," Lorna rambles, a smile brightly shining on her porcelain cheeks.

That smile makes Nicky's heart skip a few beats. "Shit, kid, that does sound like a fucking crazy ass house! How the fuck do you manage to survive with that many people and not wanna beat the hell outta them?"

"Cause' they're my family…and I love my family," the brunette quietly says, fixing her gaze downward. "I miss my family," she says, mostly to herself as she stares at her food.

Nicky sighs. She gives a gentle squeeze to the short woman, feeling bad for making her sad. "I know, kid. It's gonna be okay, though, you have us now…at least until you get outta here. We'll take care of you, don't worry." Her voice is quiet so that only Lorna can hear her words. She gives a small kiss to her forehead and pats her hand.

* * *

Finally, a few weeks into her three-year sentence, Lorna is given the same beige clothes as the rest of the prisoners and assigned to her permanent place of residency. When she sees whom she will be rooming with, a lump forms in her throat. She places her stuff on the empty bed and begins to make it.

"Oh, joy – I get the _happily-engaged Catholic woman_ as my bunk-mate. It must be my lucky day," Boo sarcastically retorts, rolling her eyes in irritation. She hates the thought of having to be stuck with such a person for god-only-knows how long.

Lorna keeps her mouth shut as she tends to her bed, carefully smoothing out the blanket and fluffing her pillow. She likes order and neatness; it's something her mother enforced within her as a child _. A clean home is a happy home_. That was always Stansie Morello's motto, which is now passed onto Lorna.

"What's his name anyway?" The older inmate asks.

Dismay displays slightly on her face. "Whose name?" She asks, but then realizes Boo's asking about her fiancé. "Oh, uh, it's Christopher. Yeah, he's a real good man. Would do anything for anyone, that Christopher," her voice trails off, not wanting to talk much more about it. She grabs a small photograph—the only one she brought with her—and stares intently at it.

"Figures," she grumbles, getting up off her bed and making her way to the door-less entrance. "Well, lucky you—you get the cube to yourself now. I have better things to do than to sit and listen to your hetero—gag me with a spoon—love life shit." The short-haired woman chuckles as she leaves the room.

Left to her lonesome, Lorna sighs. She lies back on her pillow and holds the picture to her heart. Her fingers lightly caress the flimsy piece of paper. "I promise I'll do whatever it takes to get outta here as quickly as possible, Emilio. Mommy hates being without you," tears well up in her eyes as she feels herself start to cry. She will never forgive herself for getting into this mess – for making her son live without his mother.

* * *

On her way to the cafeteria, Nicky passes Lorna's cube and notices her muffled cries. She comes to a halt immediately and walks over towards the brunette. "Hey; what's wrong, kid? Why ya cryin'?" She gently sits down beside Lorna, looking at her with worry.

Wiping desperately at her tears, Lorna glances up at the redhead. "Oh, n-nothin'. Just have bad eye allergies is all," she lies miserably, still clutching tightly onto the photo of her son.

"Oh yeah? Is that why your face is soaked with tears and your eyes are blood-shot?" Nicky folds her arms over her chest, not buying her lie for even a second. "Please, kid, I know a lie when I hear one." She notices the tiny squared-paper in Lorna's hand and becomes intrigued, "What's that you're holding, Lorna? Is that what's got you all upset?"

Lorna uncomfortably gulps as she grips tighter onto the picture. "Just-just a photo I brought with me," she sniffles, feeling tears drip down to her hands.

"A photo of who?" Nicky softly asks, moving closer to the small woman. She comfortingly touches her shoulder, looking empathetically down at her. "It must be someone important to upset you this bad."

"I-I – Emilio," she chokes out, shakily placing the picture in Nicky's hand. "I-I have a baby, and now I've ruined his life…He-he won't even know that, that I'm his mother when I get out…" Tears come faster and nonstop out of her brown eyes, she can feel her body shaking with each of her loud cries.

Nicky instinctively wraps the short woman in her strong arms. She drops a soothing kiss atop her head while tangling her hand through her hair. "Shh, calm down. It's okay, kid – it's not like you meant to get yourself locked up…I doubt you ruined his life. You're probably a better mother than mine was; so don't fuckin' beat yourself up over it." She squeezes her tight, looking sadly at her, "Come on, kid, let's go to the cafeteria before we get in trouble…and maybe getting some food in you will keep your mind off things."

* * *

Lorna eagerly waits for her sister to pick up, her fingers impatiently tapping on the phone. Finally, after an agonizing five rings, she hears Franny's voice and beams a smile. "Hey, Fran. So, I thought it over and uh, I wouldn't mind if maybe ya bring the baby next visit. I would really love to see him," she says. Being away from her son for almost a month now, Lorna can barely remember what he looks like or how his cries sound.

"Lorna, sweetheart," Franny's voice sounds through the phone, and Lorna can sense something isn't right. "Good to hear from you, I've been worried that you haven't called in so long. Everything going okay, Lorn?"

Now, Lorna's confident that something is wrong. "Okay, Franny…what the fuck's going on? You've been encouraging me the entire month that I've been in this shithole to allow you to bring my son…and now you're fucking avoiding it? What the hell is the problem? How's my baby?"

A sigh can be heard through the receiver. "Yeah, I know I have, Lornie." _Lornie?_ Her older sister hasn't called her that in years; that confirms that something bad must have happened. Another sigh. "I have something to tell you, and—it's something that I wish I didn't have to tell you over the phone."

Impatient, Lorna groans. "Just get on with it, Fran!"

"Christopher came to take Emilio for his weekly visit—which I don't know why he's even fucking allowed after the hurt he caused you—and ah, they got in a wreck. A really, _really_ bad wreck, sweetie…And well, Emilio—he was injured badly, his skull cracked—and there's nothing, nothing the doctors can do to save him. They put him on a breathing machine and stuff, but said there's no way he can come back from this. They said the best thing to do for him is-is to pull the plug. And the only person who is allowed to make that decision is you, sweetheart," Franny cries out, wishing that she could be there with her sister – to comfort her and hold her as she grieves for her little boy.

"Wha-what?!" Lorna shouts, her legs becoming shaky and tears forming in her eyes. "What do you mean my-my-my baby has a-a cracked sk-skull?" A few sobs escape her as she grips tightly onto the phone, "N-no! NO fucking way, Franny! _THERE IS NO-NO GODDAMN FUCKING WAY I AM LETTING ANY OF THOSE ASSHOLE DOCTORS UNPLUG MY SON!_ You better not let them near him! No one fucking goes near my son until I get there." Her voice screams so loud that the entire room of prisoners can hear her and look at her with pity. A CO comes over, not happy with her actions and fears she may try to harm someone with how angry she's getting.

"Lorna…you need to calm down," Franny tries her best to soothe her through the phone. "I know, sweetie; I know you don't want to lose your son…I don't want you to either. But he's—he's not in there anymore. The only thing keeping him alive is the breathing machine. He will never be able to come out of this, Lornie. His brain doesn't work anymore, which means he cannot wake up. He'll never see again, never hear again, never grow up…what kind of life is that? Do you really want to watch him lie in a bed like a fucking vegetable forever?! Sweetie, you can't let him go on like this—you gotta let him go; let him go be with Nona in Heaven. Where he'll know no pain or hate—just unconditional love and bliss."

Lorna's hand slowly drops the phone as she collapses onto the ground, sobbing hysterically into her knees. She rocks back and forth, wrapping her arms around her legs while cries plague her. A pair of arms wrap around her, pulling her closer to another human's body, and carrying her away from the phone. She doesn't bother to see who it is; she's too busy crying and grieving for the life of her baby.

* * *

Red carries the sobbing brunette back to her cube. She sits down in her chair—that the warden was so kind to give to her—and never once lets Lorna out of her arms. From what she – and everyone else – could gather from the one-sided conversation, she knows that the young woman is losing her son. And that makes her heart soar. She has three sons of her own—and although they surely give her a headache—she couldn't imagine how much pain she would be in if she lost any of them.

She takes Lorna's head in her hands and lays it against her chest while running her hands soothingly up and down her back. "Let it out, honey, let it out," her voice is soft as she slowly rocks the distraught woman in her arms. "I know it hurts—and I could not imagine being in your shoes. I'm a mother to three boys, and if I had to see one of them pass on before me—I would, I wouldn't know what to do. I'm so sorry you must go through an awful, terrible thing like this. Especially at a time like this, when you can't even be there with him…I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Red can feel Lorna's body shaking against her; that breaks her heart even more. She rubs her back, trying so desperately to bring some sort of comfort to this poor woman. "Shh, try to take a deep breath and calm down a bit. You're going to make yourself gag if you keep sobbing so hard, Lorna," she says, running a hand through the short woman's hair. "How about you close your eyes and try to sleep? That's the only thing that can really help you right now, honey." A motherly kiss she presses against her head while continuing to rock her until she finally falls into a light sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This chapter contains a lot of fluff/comfort. But never fear, there will be much more angst and pain near.

Nicky walks over to Lorna's cube but notices she's not there. She stares at Boo—who's just now waking up—and asks aloud, "Ay, where's Morello? She go off to shower or somethin'?" She wonders where that petite woman might be, especially this early in the day.

"Not sure, Nichols," Boo shrugs, stretching her body to make herself feel alive. "She didn't even sleep here. And it's been goin' around that she had some sorta breakdown on the phone last night—surprised you didn't know that."

Concern washes over her face at the sound of that. "Well, shit! I didn't hear about that! Where the fuck could she be?" Nicky huffs in frustration as she starts walking in the direction of Red's cell. She hopes her mother might know something, or at least be able to help her find the girl. Relief soon overwhelms her as she sees that Lorna is there, sound asleep in the bed while Red's sitting in her chair with a book.

"Ma? Is Lorna okay?" Nicky worriedly asks, her eyes lingering on the small woman.

Setting her book face down on her beat-up shelf, Red lowers her reading glasses and stares over at her daughter. "She will be… _eventually_ ," the Russian lets out a long, deep, breath as her eyes glance over at the woman sleeping in her bed. "God—I don't know what I'd do if I were in her shoes. The pain, grief, she must be feeling; it really breaks my heart, Nicky."

Nicky worries even more. Grief? What could that infer? Had she lost someone close to her? "What the hell happened to her? Boo said something about a breakdown on the phone… Did someone in her family die?"

"Nicky, keep it down. I don't want you wakin' her up; it took me forever to get her to sleep," Red sadly admits, her usually hard features softened with empathy. "That baby you heard her talking about—it sounds like he may not live much longer…There wasn't much we could make out other than hearing what she said. But I'm guessing there was some kind of accident that's caused this. She said something about her son's skull being cracked, which is not a good thing…and then she yelled about "don't let the asshole doctors anywhere near him"."

"For fuck's sake, this poor woman has no fucking luck!" Nicky slams her first onto Red's shelf out of frustration. "She just fucking told me how she was gonna have her sister bring him for the first time to see her…and this fucking happens? How is this fair to her?!"

Grabbing Nicky's hands, she strokes them softly and gives a defeated glance to her. "Sometimes it's the good people who suffer the most. This is unfortunate for her to have to lose her baby, and it's even worse that she's in here and can't do much about it. These next few weeks—possibly months—are going to be extremely painful for her. So, we've all gotta help her and look after her."

* * *

The minute Lorna's brown eyes peep out of her lids, everything comes back to her. _Emilio and Christopher were in a crash. Emilio cracked his skull. He will never come back from this. You have to make the decision on whether the doctors should pull the plug. You choose whether your son lives or dies, Lorna._ She looks around—noticing she's not in her cell-block but in Red's as both she and Nicky are hovering over her.

"How ya feel, kid?" Nicky gives her a sympathetic stare, taking a seat beside her. She takes a hold of her hand, stroking her thumb tenderly over her knuckles. "I heard about your baby…I'm so sorry, Lorna," she softly says, caressing her hand to comfort her.

Lorna looks up at her—face empty of all emotions. "He's still alive. It's my choice whether-whether the-the plug is pulled or not…and they can't do anything I don't want them to do. I'm not letting them kill _my_ baby!" Her hands shake in her lap while tears start falling from her eyes.

Wrapping the small woman in her arms, Nicky gives a soothing kiss to her head. "Shh, calm down," she gently starts off and runs her hand tenderly through her hair. "What happened to him, kid?"

Tears running down her cheeks, Lorna weakly stares up at the redhead. "His-his father – he came to take him out for-for his weekly visit… And he and my soon—my little baby—got in a car crash! My sister said that-that E-Emilio cracked his s-skull because of it…and _I_ have to be the fucking person to decide whether I allow my son to live or not! As if there's an option…why would I decide for him to die?! Franny, of all people, should know what a fucking sin that is! And I know my parents won't allow something like that; it's a sin to play God with my son's life! There's no fucking way in hell that anyone is pulling that damn plug," her voice getting louder as she feels her tears being replaced with anger.

Sitting on the other side of her, Red places her hand gently over top of the brunette's. She strokes it comfortingly while staring empathetically into her eyes. "You've got to calm down, Lorna; getting all worked up is just gonna make you feel worse," she softly says, tenderly stroking her hand. "That's absolutely horrible what happened to your son and his father…I can't imagine how much pain it's causing you! Having your skull cracked as an adult would probably cause a lot of damage…but to a baby – oh I can't even fathom what it must have done to him. Babies have such delicate brains, Lorna, and something that severe probably injured his too much. It's hard to come back from a brain injury like that, and even harder as an infant. I'm not trying to tell you what to do—it's your choice—but, sweetheart, if the doctors are saying there's no way he will ever regain consciousness, then don't you think it's best to just let him go? You don't want him to waste away in a hospital forever, right?"

"That-that doesn't mean I want my baby to die," Lorna sobs out, burying her face into her knees. "O-oh G-God, I-I d-d-didn't even ask about h-how-how C-Christopher is….my fiancé and Emilio's dad. I need to go call Franny! Oh, I'm so terrible!"

Nicky gently puts a tighter grip on her as she shakes her head. "You need to calm down – that's _what_ you _need_ to do right now, kid. You're not terrible; you're worried about your son, who's terribly hurt, that's more important right now. You shouldn't have to worry about anything else! Don't even think about beating yourself up over that," she rubs the petite woman's back in soft circles, kissing her forehead in comfort.

"Lorna Morello," a female office calls out as she walks to the cell, "You have a visitor. Come with me."

Sighing, Nicky gives her one more tight squeeze before reluctantly releasing her. She looks at her with a firm expression, "You come find Red and I when you're finished, you got that kid? You're not gonna deal with this alone."

* * *

Lorna collapses into Franny's arms the minute she gets to her. She lets her tears pour out of her like waterfalls as her hands grip tightly onto the taller woman's neck. Neither let go until the officer on duty clears his throat. That's when she finally notices her brother's presence as well – the fact that he came along made her believe that things have worsened for her son. For she knows that any other time, Mikey would not come for a visit.

Her older siblings sit across from her, and she can see the sorrow hiding beneath their eyes. "What-what's wrong with my son? No one w-went near him, right?" Lorna's hands shake nervously against the sticky table as she glances between the two.

The brother and sister share a look before turning back to stare at Lorna. They both grab one of her hands, knowing she'll need the comfort once she's told of the unsettling news. "Lorn, something happened," Franny carefully starts off, squeezing her sister's hand tight. "They did a scan of Emilio's brain, and a lot of tests – they found that the cracking of his skull made his brain swell real bad…and he had a stroke, Lorn…And his brain—it can't work anymore; they did so many tests on him and there's nothing they can do that can bring him back. He's brain dead – which means the only thing keeping him alive is the breathing tube. As soon as that's taken out, he'll completely die."

"It's not getting taken out then, Franny. I'm not letting my son die," Lorna fiercely says, her hands shaking with resistance. How can her own siblings come here and ask her to kill her own child? What do they think she is? "Why do you want my son to die!?"

"Lorna, no one wants your baby to die! But he's kind of already gone…he can't live without the constant pumping of that breathing machine. The doctors can't allow him to go on like this much longer; they need you to make the decision. Emilio is gone, and he will never wake up again. 100% for sure there's no chance of him recovering. Mikey and I have had more than one doctor confirm this… The only thing left to do is for you to accept his condition and let him go, sweetie," Franny tenderly says, cupping her hand over top of Lorna's shaky one. She strokes her knuckles and stares sadly into her brown eyes. "I know it hurts, Lornie, but you gotta let him go. It's for the best—it really is."

Lorna lets out a sob, her eyes glancing up at her sister. "I can't let him go without-without seeing him," her voice quivers, "I need to see my baby…and tell him how much I love him…I-I don't want him to die without-without having his mommy there with him."

"We could try to sneak you out of here. Cause' I doubt these dumbass officers are nice enough to let you come see him willingly," Mikey speaks up, giving a sympathetic stare.

Rolling her eyes, Franny kicks his leg under the table and stares at him angrily. "Really, Mikey? Can you not fuckin' be serious for ten fucking minutes? Lorna's already in enough trouble, you're not gonna get her in anymore!" She shakes her head at her younger brother before turning her attention back to Lorna. "I would love to let you go see him – believe me, I would. But sweetheart you can't…these police officers won't allow it. I already tried begging them…telling them this is your baby – and they refuse. Heartless empty people they all are. I'm so sorry, love."

Lorna lays her head against the table, letting tears fall from her eyes and into a puddle around her face. "I-is Christopher – is he brain dead too?" She barely asks above a whisper. She's not sure she has the will to fight now – she's got a three-year sentence to get through, and doesn't even have her son to go home to anymore.

To see her sister in this much pain shatters Franny's heart tremendously. If she lost either one of her kids, she wouldn't know how to handle it. She sighs sadly, reaching across to touch her hand against Lorna's frail cheeks. "No, he's alive…but in a deep coma. Don't even worry about him, Lorn – he's done nothing but make your life hell since you met him. He does not deserve an ounce of your sympathy, sweetie," her fingers brush soothingly against her skin.

"How-how did he end up, end up wrecking the car with my son in it?! Did he-did he purposely do this?!" Tears turn to anger as Lorna slams her fist hard onto the table. Christopher never wanted to be a father to _her_ baby nor did he want to see her be a mother to the child – _he_ is the reason she's sitting in here for three long years.

"No, I don't think he meant for this to happen…He wouldn't try to hurt an innocent baby, Lorn. That still doesn't make him any less of an asshole, but I can't see any father wanting to intentionally kill their baby!" The older sister replies, grabbing Lorna's trembling fists and holding them tight in her own two. "Lorna, you gotta calm down. I know you're upset and angry – which you have every right to be – but you're still in prison and these police officers have no empathy, so they won't give a fuck and make us leave if you keep getting all worked up like this," she runs her thumb gently across her sister's hand.

Mikey shakes his head with a glare. "Christopher's a piece of shit. I could definitely see him doing some fucked up thing like this – he'll do anything to see Lorna unhappy! _He's_ the one who should be in here rotting, _not her_ ," he rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. He will never be able to forgive (or forget) that man for what he did to his younger sister.

* * *

"Where's Morello today?" Yoga Jones genuinely asks, a bit surprised not to see the young woman's presence. "She wasn't here at breakfast, either."

"I'm pretty sure it has something to do with whatever breakdown she had last night. She didn't even come back to the cube," Boo states, shrugging her shoulders.

"I heard someone say that she was screaming about not wanting some doctors to unplug her son…I didn't know she had a son, that's pretty fucked up. She looks too young to have a kid," Tricia enters the conversation as she sits down on the other side of Yoga Jones.

Nicky slams her hand angrily onto the table, glaring at the three of them. "Would you stop fuckin' making assumptions about what's going on with Lorna? Is it any of your business – No, so shut the fuck up about it!" She flicks them off before going back to eating her meal.

" _Lorna?_ You call her by her first name now, Nichols?" Boo teasingly retorts, her eyebrows arched.

The redhead rolls her eyes and sticks her middle finger up at her. "Who gives a fuck what I call her? She and I are friends – and as far as I know friends usually fucking refer to each other by their first names."

"All right, that's enough arguing," Red's Russian accent calls out as she comes to sit down beside Nicky. She gives a firm stare to both her daughter and Boo. "I'm sick of the two of you bickering constantly. You need to stop pestering Nicky about Lorna – it's none of your business, Boo. And Nicky, you need to just keep your mouth shut instead of egging her on." She groans, shaking her head. "You guys act like fucking kids sometimes!"

Tricia clears her throat. "We just wanted to know where Morello is."

"And you might as well just tell us the truth. Because I've heard quite a few stories circulating around about her 'phone-call breakdown'."

Nicky rolls her eyes but gives a small nod to Red – silently affirming that she can explain. Red pats her daughter's hand softly, looking between the other three women – who are anxious to know what's happened with Lorna. "She was called down to the visitation area to see her sister. She has a baby, and was informed that he's badly injured due to a car accident. The injury was to his skull and now Lorna must decide whether to continue with the life support for him. With that being said, nobody is to be giving her a hard time – she's going to be too busy grieving for that baby and dealing with the pain of his loss to have to deal with the drama that goes on in this shit place."

* * *

The sound of soft crying alarms Nicky as she paces around the mostly-empty dorm. She follows where it seems to be coming from and isn't too shocked to see that it's Lorna – she's curled into a ball on her bed as her body shakes with each cry. Her heart aches at the sight. Gently, she goes to sit down beside her. Her arms pull the tiny brunette from the mattress and onto her lap. "Shh, shh," she soothingly says, holding her tight against her body.

Lorna fiercely grabs onto the redhead's shirt, staring up at her with puffy eyes. "My-my baby is d-dead… _I killed him_ ," she chokes out. Her hands tremor against Nicky's neck. "I-I didn't, I didn't even get-get to s-s-say good-goodbye to him."

How broken her voice sounds overwhelms Nicky with a strong sense of wanting to protect her. She holds her tighter against herself, brushing her fingers gently through the short brown hair. " _You did not_ kill him, Lorna! The asshole who caused the crash is the one to blame for your son's death," she firmly says, pressing her lips warmly against the smaller woman's head. "I'm so sorry, kid…I'm so sorry you have to go through something so horrible, especially while in this shithole. You should be with your family at a time like this but instead you're stuck here, in fucking prison. I promise you, though, I'll help you through this and so will Red and the rest of the family. We'll all take care of you, kid; I mean it."

"No, no," Lorna sobs, trying to free herself but Nicky's arms are too strong for her. "I-I don't deserve to-to be taken care of…not-not when I—when I neglected my own, my own baby! If I-If I wouldn't have gotten thrown in here, my son would be alive! I'm a terrible mother—he probably hates me for what's happened."

"Listen here, kid," Nicky softly commands, "I know what a terrible mother is, and what it's like to be neglected. You sound nothing like the piece of shit mother I had. You _love_ your son—you cry for him, you talk about how much he means to you— _you_ are a great mother. You didn't fucking neglect him; it's not like you wanted to get sent here. Now, you had better stop this fucking negativity; it's all nonsense, kid. Your son is watching over you, and he knows you love him and can see the pain his death has caused you. Beating yourself up is not gonna do a damn thing to make any of this easier."

Lorna looks down, her sobs and cries calming down now. "I'm-I'm sorry."

Lifting her chin tenderly with her thumb, Nicky peers into her eyes with concern. "What are you sorry for, kid? I hope you don't think you need to apologize for feeling upset…You just lost your baby, you have every damn right to feel this way."

"I know…I'm sorry that you had a terrible mother who neglected you," she quietly says, leaning her head onto Nicky's shoulder.

Nicky wraps her arms snugger around her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Don't worry about it, kid. Red's my mother now, and that's made up for all the shit Marka's put me through. It is kinda sweet of you to care, though," she strokes Lorna's hair softly, giving a sad smile to her. "Ya wanna try and get some sleep, kid? Ma told me you barely slept last night…might make you feel better if you have a little nap."

Lorna slowly nods, but looks up at her with pleading eyes. "Would you-would you stay with me and uh—never mind, you probably got stuff to do," she mutters, nervously staring down at her hands.

"Wait, kid," Nicky gently says, lifting her face back up to her own. "I don't have anything else to do. You want me to stay with you and? You want me to hold you, is that it?" She watches as Lorna timidly nods her head, her eyes looking anywhere but at the redhead.

"Why are you afraid to ask me that—what, did you think I would refuse? I'd never say no to you—you're such a sweet girl— _how_ could I say no to holding you?" Her fingers brush delicately along the shorter woman's cheek. She looks softly down at Lorna and pats her chest, "Come on, kid, come here." Once Lorna's settled into her arms, Nicky lays back against the pillow and pulls the blanket up to cover them. "Close your eyes and sleep. You must be exhausted after everything you've dealt with these last couple of days, baby."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter has graphic depictions of rape. (At least, I tried my best to write it-I'm not the best when it comes to writing sexual content.)

"Kid, eat," Nicky firmly says to Lorna as they sit in the cafeteria the next morning. She can see the effect Lorna's son's death is having on her, and she's not sure she likes it. Her arm gently wraps around the brunette's shoulder as she gives her an empathetic stare, "You gotta eat, Lorna. I know it's hard right now and all ya wanna do is crawl in a hole but you can't neglect yourself. So, please eat at least half of the food."

Lorna does as she's told and brings a small spoonful of oatmeal to her mouth. She weakly chews it while staring blankly ahead. Nothing feels right anymore. She can acquaint herself to a robot – her heart is numb, she barely has the momentum to go on with her life, and she's feeling no emotion.

The other women at the table give her looks of sympathy. Most of the prisoners know what's happened by now, and everyone pities her because they know how difficult it is to deal with a loved one's death while being locked up.

"How are you feeling, Morello?" Yoga Jones softly asks, her eyes compassionate as they pour into the brunette's.

Shyly swallowing her food, Lorna glances up at her. She gives a small shrug. "Why am I not feeling would be a better question," her voice deadpanned as her eyes fix on the sight of prisoners going through the food line.

Nicky sighs, giving a soothing squeeze to Lorna's shoulder. "That's normal, kid; it's part of the grieving process. Just remember that you don't have to go through this alone. You have all of us to help and look after you." She runs a hand tenderly through the short woman's dark hair and gives a small kiss to her head.

Nodding in agreement with Nicky's statement, Yoga Jones continues to stare across at the younger inmate beside her. "Numbness is very common after losing someone close. It'll take time, but eventually you will be able to move past this and have the motivation to go on living. You know, maybe you could come to one of my yoga classes – yoga is good at relieving sorrow."

Lorna places her used plastic silverware onto her barely-touched tray and is about to leave the table. "Maybe some other time, Jones. I think I'll just go back to my bunk until Mendez gets me for work," she says, but Nicky's gentle pull on her arm stops her from leaving.

"Are you gonna be okay on your own, kid?" Nicky worriedly asks, not too keen on the idea of a vulnerable and broken Lorna's being alone right now. She sighs when the other nods but chooses not to argue with her. Instead, she gives her a comforting embrace and soft kiss atop the head, "Don't do anything stupid. If you need anything, you come find me or Red. And be careful around Mendez, kid—he's a fuckin' creep." She watches with sorrow as Lorna meekly throws her tray away and walks out of the cafeteria.

Nicky eats the rest of the breakfast in silence. She doesn't feel the need to engage in conversation—not when her mind is too busy worrying about Lorna. She is in her own world when Red's voice calls out her name and gives her an uneasy stare. "What's got you so quiet, Nicky? And where's Lorna?" The Russian woman questions.

"I just feel so fucking bad for Lorna…and she went back to her bunk—saying she rather rest until her shift. I don't like the idea of her being alone right now, though, ma. What if she can't handle her grief and does something stupid, huh?"

Red grabs her daughter's hand and squeezes it tight. "If you're so worried, go check on her. I don't think she'll do anything—she just needs some time to herself."

* * *

Lying against the firm mattress, Lorna holds her son's picture tightly in her hands. She stares at it, studies his every feature, and lets out a quiet sob. Her fingers brush against it. "I'm s-so sorry, my Emilio…I'm sorry for killing you," she tearfully whispers, delicately stroking the picture.

"Enough fucking crying, inmate, you've got work to do," Mendez's harsh voice demands as he walks into the cell and forces her to stand up. He notices the small photograph in her hand and rudely snatches it from her. "What's this—huh? A little picture of your dead son? Hmm, so sad to hear that…but this is not allowed in here! I'm gonna have to tear it up." A smirk displays across his face as he crumbles the tiny paper in his hand and then tears it into small pieces. He throws it onto her bunk before dragging her out to the van.

As they drive to pick up a fresh batch of inmates, Mendez gives a hungry stare over towards Lorna. "I hear they wouldn't grant you furlough for your son's funeral. How horrible that is. When's his funeral? Maybe you and I can work something out so you can be there. What do you say, little Morello?"

Lorna feels an uneasiness in her stomach. Her hands shake against the steering wheel. "It's-It's tomorrow… Wha-what exactly do-do you mean?" She can't bring herself to look over at him—his presence causes a knot to form within her.

He leans closer to the petite woman and whispers against her ear, "You wanna go say goodbye to your _precious little_ baby?! Then you let me have my way with you, and I'll sneak you to his funeral." He smirks, running his finger smoothly down her cheek.

"But-but I'll get in a lot of trouble for sneaking out of prison… I don't—I don't want to be stuck here longer than I need to be," Lorna shakily replies, her hands shake more at the uncomfortable closeness between the two.

"No one will find out about it if you have sex with me." Mendez runs his hand down her body, his eyes lusting into her frightened ones.

* * *

A pile of a ripped-up pieces of paper are placed onto Nicky's lap. Confused, she looks away from the TV and up at who put the paper on her. "I thought you might know what this is…I found it thrown onto Morello's bed," Boo informs her, her eyebrows arched. Nicky looks down at the mess of paper and feels her heart sink. She can make-out a familiar head of hair through the wrinkles, realizing this must be the picture of Lorna's son.

"Fucking shit," Nicky yells, punching the top of the table with her first. "That was the only fucking picture she had of her son! Who the fuck did this? Who would do something this cruel?!"

Boo shrugs. "I don't know who did it. I just saw it lying there when I went to get something from my bunk. I have a pretty good feeling, though, that it was Mendez who ripped it. We all know what a dick he is!"

Her face turning redder by the second, Nicky gathers the crumpled pieces and starts heading out of the room—down to Red's office in the kitchen. There's no way she's going to allow Lorna to come back and see her picture ruined.

Nicky angrily stomps her way to the back of the kitchen and into Red's office. She sits down in the chair, placing the ripped picture onto the table. "Ma, I need your help—apparently, some asshole decided it'd be nice to rip up Lorna's only photo of her baby! She's out driving the van with filthy Mendez, so I wanna try and fix it before she gets back and sees it."

Setting aside her order forms, Red reaches for the crumbled photograph. Her eyes sadden; she stares over at Nicky, grabbing her hands, and giving them a tender stroke. "I'll see what I can do, my sweet Nicky," she opens a drawer and looks around for a roll of tape. As she starts to piece the picture back together, she lets out a sigh. "Who would do something so nasty like this to Lorna? She just lost her baby…and this person had the nerve to rip up her only photo of him? God, people fucking sicken me these days."

"You and me both, ma," Nicky says, shaking her head. She taps her nails against the medal of the tabletop. "Boo thinks Mendez might have done it. I bet he did—he's such a piece of shit!"

"I wouldn't put it past that fucker. I remember my first year here, he took a woman's scrapbook—of her family from across the country—and burned it in a fire. Mendez is pure evil," Red seethes angrily, taping the pieces together. She holds it out to get a better look, sighing sadly at the sight of Lorna's little baby. "Poor child—he looked just like her with those brown eyes and dark curly hair. It breaks my heart that this innocent baby had to lose his life, and Lorna's left to grieve for him. No mother deserves to go through the loss of a child."

Getting up from her chair, Red walks towards Nicky and pulls her up into a tight embrace. She kisses the top of her head gently, squeezing her lovingly. There's no way the Russian mother will ever take her children for granted—for she never knows when one might pass on. "You are a precious daughter, my Nicky; I love you so much and will never stop."

* * *

When Nicky sees that Lorna has finally returned to her cube, she walks over to sit with her. There is an overall paleness to the brunette's face causing alarm bells to go off within Nicky's head. She wraps an arm around her—pulling her so that Lorna's head is leaning against her shoulder. "You okay, kid? You look like you've seen a ghost or somethin'."

Lorna gulps, but nods her head. She can't tell her about what Mendez said—not if she wants to go see her baby one last time. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit drained from driving around is all," her voice shakes through her lie. It frightens her what tonight will bring; she hates the thought of allowing Mendez to have sex with her. He makes her feel terribly uncomfortable.

Sighing, Nicky gives her a firm stare. She doesn't believe a word that comes out of the short woman's mouth. But to avoid unintentionally upsetting her, she decides against saying anything further on the matter. Instead she gives a soft kiss to her head and reaches for the revamped picture in her shirt pocket. "Kid, this may—rather will—upset you…but Boo told me she found the picture of your son ripped up and scattered on your bed. She doesn't know who did it, but we kinda think Mendez might have. Well, anyway, I brought it to Red and she put it back together. I know it's not quite the same looking, but I figure it's better than nothing," she softly says, handing to Lorna.

Tears well in Lorna's brown as eyes as she gently takes the photo. She looks up at Nicky with a sad smile. "That—that was so sweet of you, Nicky. And Red, too. You have no idea how much that means to me; especially since this is the only picture I got with me," she sniffles, nuzzling her head into the crook of the redhead's neck. Gratefully, she presses a small kiss to her cheek. "It was Mendez who ripped it—when he came to get me for my shift, he took it off me and said I'm not allowed to have it in here. Then he tore it up and threw it on my bed."

" _That fucking asshole_! He's such a sick piece of shit," Nicky grits her teeth but keeps her voice down so she isn't heard by the wrong person. Her arms wrap tighter around Lorna as her eyes peer protectively into hers, "Did he do anything else to you? Did he try to hurt you or something? Mendez is a sick, filthy man…he's raped many of the inmates in here. I don't want the same thing to happen to you, baby. So, ya gotta tell me if he tries anything. You've already been through a lot—you don't need to add being raped to that list, kid."

Lorna shakes her head profusely. "No, no, of course not. All he did was rip up the picture and tell me to come with him to drive the van. It's all good, Nicky. I'm just drained and missing my little Emilio. Tomorrow is his funeral…and I can't even go."

"I'm so sorry, kid," Nicky soothes into her ear, brushing a stray hair from her face. "It's so unfair for these dickhead officers to not allow you furlough to go to your _own_ son's funeral. How heartless are they, ya know? You poor thing, kid. If there's anything ma or I can do for you, you just say so. We're here for you."

* * *

Mendez harshly grabs Lorna and drags her into one of the custodial closets. He pushes her against the wall while locking the door behind him. "Here's the plan, whore-face, you let me do whatever the hell I please to you for the next hour and you get to say goodbye to your son tomorrow at his funeral. _But_ , if you say anything to anyone about what I do to you—I'll make sure Caputo finds out about you're sneaking out of prison. And you can spend the rest of your sentence—plus added time—in maximum security. Do I make myself clear, inmate?"

Lorna timidly nods as tears fall from her frightened eyes. "V-ver-very, s-sir," she stammers, her legs shaking beneath her.

"Good," he barks in her face. He starts to undress himself, making sure that Lorna is watching. Once his bottom half is completely naked, he goes over to the shaking inmate and roughly pulls down her pants. The sight of her toned legs makes his mouth water. "Sexy," he mutters, running his fingers along the curves of her thighs. Her underwear comes off next and he can't help but drool as he brings his hands down there to explore.

Her legs grow weaker and weaker with every uncomfortable touch. Her teeth chatter; her eyes won't stop the tear-flow. Lorna longs to say no—to make him stop, but she can't. This is the only way she can attend her son's funeral – the only way she can get some sort of peace from the death of her little boy.

The feeling of his hand caressing her in her genital region is rough and painful. It's nothing at all like when Nicky caressed her. In fact, it reminds her of Christopher—how mean and hard he was with her. No matter how much she begged and pleaded for him to stop, he didn't. And now, the same thing is happening with Mendez… _except_ she's allowing it to.

" _Ow!_ " Lorna cries out at the horrible feeling of Mendez thrusting into her. She's never felt a pain quite like this and it makes her regret ever agreeing to allow this to happen.

* * *

An even emptier shell than she was yesterday, Lorna tries to sneak her way into the dorms and to her bunk. The pain between her legs makes it quite a chore to walk, but she does her best to ignore it. She can't have anyone find about what happened—being able to say goodbye to her son is much more important to her than the psychological pain that's been caused to her.

"Morello? Where the hell were you? It's like two am, what the fuck are you doing wandering around the prison for?" Boo's voice yells out as she stares at her from her bed.

Lorna collapses onto her own bed, wrapping the blankets tightly around herself. She feels exhausted and fatigued after the horrifying things Mendez did to her. Her body aches all over, and all she wants is to sleep. "I-I couldn't sleep. Walking helps me clear my mind and get a good night's rest," she weakly responds, her voice barely louder than a whisper. She closes her eyes and instantly falls into a restless slumber.

* * *

Waking up the next morning, Lorna feels something soft and warm underneath—and it's definitely not the mattress. Her eyes dart up to stare right into Nicky's big brown, concerned ones. The brunette arches her eyebrows in confusion. "Nicky? When-when did you come here?"

Nicky runs a hand tenderly through her waves of brown hair and gives a sad smile. "You don't remember, kid?" Receiving a head shake, the redhead lets out a sigh. "You seemed to be having some sort of nightmare last night. You were screaming and crying so loud, Lorna. So, I came here and held you—which seemed to help because you didn't scream for the rest of the night."

"Is everything okay, kid? What caused you to have a nightmare? Was it about it your son?" Her eyes peer warmly down into the smaller woman's. She uses her knuckles to gently caress against Lorna's cheek.

Lorna nods, even though she is sure what brought on the nightmare was what Mendez did. But she can't let a word slip out about the events of last night—she cannot afford to stay in prison any longer than her three years. "I guess the thought of his funeral today and not being able to go…it's all just overwhelming. He's my baby and I'm not even allowed to say goodbye to him…"

"That's fucking bullshit for them to do this to you," Nicky grits her teeth, staring sympathetically down into the other's eyes. The prison system is all fucked up these days, she knows. They have no empathy for anyone's situation—all they see is criminals.

"It's not like it's just some friend or distant relative you lost—it's your own son _, a baby_! What the fuck is wrong with these people? Just because you're a prisoner doesn't mean you're any less of a human. This damn system is so corrupted, it's not even funny."

Hearing this makes a wave of guilt creep through her. Lorna hates lying about not attending her son's funeral. Yet, she's only able to attend it from committing an illegal crime—sneaking out of prison. So, mentioning any of this information to Nicky – or anyone – would get her into serious trouble.

"I know," she sadly says, "But my sister and brother will be there with him—they said they'll make sure he knows how much I love him and how sorry I am for not being able be there to say goodbye. And whenever I get outta here, I can go visit his gravesite any time I want—he'll be buried right next to my Nona and Nono."

She lets out a sigh, grabbing the taped-up picture that lies on the scruffy night-stand behind her bed. "It pains my heart that this beautiful little boy only got eight months of life in. But I know he's in a good place—up there in Heaven—and he's probably being spoiled rotten by his great grandparents. Nona and Nono were always my favorite; I know they will take good care of Emilio."

Nicky can feel her heart soaring for Lorna. She gives her tight squeeze, pressing a soft kiss on the top of her head. "You don't deserve to be in this place, kid," she warmly says against her ear, stroking her fingertips along the outline of her cheeks.

* * *

Around noon is when Mendez finds Lorna and yanks her from the cafeteria. "Time to drive, inmate!" He ignores the angry glances he receives from the other women sitting at her table and roughly drags the petite brunette out of there. When they get outside, he opens the passenger door and pushes her in. He lets himself in on the other side.

"You didn't tell anyone about our arrangement, right, whore-face?" Mendez yells his question at her, speeding out of the prison parking lot. He smirks after getting a timid nod from the young girl. "Good. Now, where the fuck is the funeral at? You better give me directions or I'll turn this van around."

Lorna meekly shrugs. "I-I don't know, exactly. Franny said it's about a half-hour drive from here. It's in a Catholic church."

The angry officer turns to glare at her, raising his hand to smack across her cheek. "There's a shit-fuck of Catholic churches around here, ya fucking bitch! That doesn't help at all. Did _Franny_ give you an address? If not, then I don't want hear another word that _Franny_ told to you."

"I wrote it down on sticky-note," she shakily replies, reaching in her pocket for the paper. Her hands tremor as she hands it to Mendez—who harshly rips it out of her grasp.

* * *

It's nearly one-thirty in the afternoon when they finally arrive at the church. "Here's a black pant-suit—don't need any of these fuckers to be suspicious," he rolls his eyes, tossing the outfit to Lorna. "Hurry up and get yourself changed! You can't go out in that fucking prison shit or we'll get caught." He barks at her—taping his fingers impatiently against the steering wheel.

Lorna obediently does what is asked of her, even though it makes her sick to have to undress herself in front of him. Once she's dressed in the less wary outfit, she timidly gets out of the van and follows behind Mendez. When she enters the church, everyone stares at her – not just in pity and empathy, but also in shock and surprise. No one expected her to be here.

" _Lorna?_ " Franny gets up from the pew and runs over to her. Her expression filled with confusion. "I thought they wouldn't give you that furlough thing or whatever they call it…How did you get here?" She wonders, pulling her sister into a tight embrace.

"Ahem," Mendez clears his throat and gives a stern glance to them. "Refrain yourself from worrying how this inmate got here. Just be glad she's even here—coulda kept her locked away, after all she's just another criminal."

Franny wraps her arms tighter around her younger sister, staring uneasily over to the officer. His features resemble the ones Lorna told her about when describing the man who forced her to drive the van with him. That causes a knot to form in her stomach—she hopes this officer hasn't been trying to harm the petite brunette. "You're not gonna follow her the whole time, are you? I mean this is her son's funeral…it's not like she's gonna do anything but mourn for him," she carefully asks. Relief washes over her when he shakes his head and goes to sit in the very back.

She takes her sister to the front pew – where their parents and Mikey are – and helps her to sit down. "Thank God they finally agreed to let you come, Lorn. Now you can get some closure," Franny says, wrapping her arms protectively around the younger woman.

* * *

Nicky angrily paces around Red's cube. "Mendez is doing something to her; I can fucking sense it, ma! Did you see the fucking way he dragged her outta the damn cafeteria?" She growls, punching the wall out of rage.

"Nicky, do you want to get thrown down in the SHU again?! You need to try and control your anger," Red firmly states, crossing her arms over her chest as she turns to face her daughter. "Yes, I noticed how rudely he grabbed her and took her. He's scum, I won't deny that. But he's harsh like that with everyone. I don't think he's trying to rape her, if that's what you're getting at."

Rolling her eyes, Nicky lets out a frustrated groan. Sometimes her Russian mother could be more of a hard-head than she is. "Oh, really?! How's it so hard to believe that he would be doing exactly that? I mean—he's fucking Mendez, he's known for raping the most vulnerable women. And from what I can see, Lorna's pretty damn vulnerable! I bet that's why she had a nightmare last night…she's just trying to cover it up."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This is another dark and angst-filled chapter. There is mentioned rape, but it's not nearly as graphic as last chapter.

After the funeral service comes to an end, Franny takes one look at her sister and realizes she may never be the same again. It breaks her own heart to watch the young girl go through this—even more so when she is going to have to grieve while she's behind bars. She worries immensely for Lorna; her sister has never been good at working through her emotions.

Enveloping her arms tight around the smaller brunette, Franny peers lovingly in to her eyes. "Lorna, sweetie, I need you to promise me that you will not let your emotions eat at you in there. You need to talk to someone—like that friend you said you made. Talk to her when you're upset; you can't keep your feelings locked up…you know that's not good for you," she desperately pleads, running a hand soothingly through her short hair.

"I know, Fran," she replies. Suddenly the memory of last night pops into her mind and instinctively her body begins to tremble. Her eyes widen with fear as stares up into the older woman's blue eyes. "I-I don't want to go back there…I hate it so much."

"Why do you look so scared, Lorn?" Franny holds her tighter, beyond worried at this point. Something must be happening to her—that creepy looking officer is hurting her baby sister, she can sense it. She brushes her hand through Lorna's hair – a soothing gesture she's done since they were just little girls. "I know, baby. But you must; you have to finish your sentence, which is only 35 more months. 35 more months and then you'll be free. I know it seems long to you, but it will go by fast. Keep yourself busy, and make friends with the other women—the nice ones, of course."

Lorna grips tightly onto her sister's shirt. She looks around to make sure no one else is within hearing distance. Leaning close to her ear, she whispers, "Franny…I-I gotta tell you somethin' and I need you to not say a thing about this to anyone—including the other police officers. I really shouldn't even be telling you this. He warned me not to or else he'll make sure I get sent to maximum security with a longer sentence…but the guilt and pain is swallowing me whole—I need to tell someone and you're the safest person."

The words she hears causes her heart to slow. Franny tightens the embrace, concern making out her entire face. "He? Who's he, Lorn? What the hell is going on?"

"Whisper please, Fran. If-if he hears, I'll be in a lotta trouble." Lorna swallows hard, glancing down at the ground briefly and then goes on to finish, "I-I wasn't given furlough, Franny…M-Mendez—the officer who's here with me—he snuck me here. And-and he-he made me have sex with him last night so that I-I c-could be here for my son. And I—it hurts so bad down there…It-it feels like my legs are on fire!" She bites her lip as she tries her best to keep from crying.

"He _raped_ you, Lorna! Oh, my God—I knew something horrible happened to you…but this just breaks my heart. Let's go to the bathroom and have a look, okay?" Franny can start to feel rage boiling under her skin—this isn't the first time her sister's come running to her after being so cruelly taken advantage of. She gently grabs her hand, leading them to the back of the church and in the direction of the bathrooms.

Mendez stops them abruptly, trying to yank Lorna in his direction. "Time to head back to camp, inmate!" He harshly demands, giving her a harsh glare.

Franny feels her fists clenching and her teeth chattering with fury but she keeps it at bay. "She just needs to go to the restroom real quick. It's a long drive back to the prison and I know my sister won't be comfortable sitting for an hour with a full bladder."

"You have five minutes. Move the fuck along," he growls.

* * *

Alone in the bathroom with her older sister, Lorna finally feels safe enough to let out her sobs. "Please, please, Fran…please let me come home with you guys. I-I can't stand to be in that place—it's terrifying! Mendez is so mean and cruel; I know he's gonna keep making me have sex with him. He'll tell me I owe him for this…and I can't tell the other women because they'll tell one of the other guards and then I'll be in much worse trouble! What do I do, Franny?!"

Franny takes the mess of her sister into her arms, rocking her softly against her body. She gently carries her to one of the stalls and locks it. "Well, first, I gotta have a look at where you're hurting, sweetie. If it's bad, you're gonna need to get medical attention," she soothingly says while very carefully sliding Lorna's pants and underwear down. It pains her to see how bad the younger woman winces at her touch, "I'm sorry, Lornie. I'm trying my best to be gentle."

Examining her upper thighs, she feels sick at the red marks that lie on them. "How could anyone wanna do something so evil to you? You're the kindest person—why do men have to fucking use your loving-nature and force you to do things like this?" Franny's voice quivers with anger as she continues to examine her sister's injuries. She moves up to take a close look underneath Lorna's shirt and lets out exasperated gasp.

"You need to get seen by a doctor—you're all red and _you are bleeding_ , Lorn! The minute you get back to the prison, you _need_ to go see the doctor there! No putting it off; this is serious. You could have a bad infection or something." Her blue eyes fill with sympathetic tears for her as she gets a handful of toilet paper and hands it to Lorna. "Tie this around your underwear so you don't get them all bloody—because I have a feeling none of those dumbass officers will care to give you a new pair. And you better go see the doctor immediately, Lorna! I want you to call me right after and let me know what he says."

Lorna timidly wraps the toilet paper around her underwear and pulls them up along with her pants. She sniffles, looking up at her older sister. Her arms wrap tight around her neck as she cries into it. "Ple-please whatever you do…please don't-don't mention this to anyone. No one's allowed to know," her voice pleads, holding tightly onto the taller woman.

Sighing, Franny squeezes her arms around the distraught brunette. To have to refrain from telling anyone what's happened to her sister makes her heart sink in guilt. How can she allow her sister to go on suffering the aftermath of another rape? "Okay, okay, I won't say a word…But I want you to call me and tell me if he keeps hurting you—I can't keep this a secret forever, sweetheart. I can't fucking keep quiet when some sick bastard is intentionally hurting my baby sister! You don't deserve this, Lorna!"

Hugging the younger woman against her for a few silent moments, Franny sighs and gives a sorrow glance into her eyes. "I love you, Lorn. Try to take care of yourself in there—you still have a family waiting for you. We all love you so much and we want you to be okay. I'll make sure to come visit you this weekend, and you tell me if that sick man tries to rape you again," she firmly states, pressing a motherly kiss to her head. "I promise it's gonna be okay, baby; you just gotta confide in the friends you make in there. You can't keep to yourself, not when you're in a place like that."

* * *

Before Lorna has the chance to walk back to her cube, Mendez yanks her over to the secluded hallway. He gives her a rough stare. "You better keep your whore mouth shut about what we did today, or else your life will get much worse," he hisses, slapping her on the forehead to show the seriousness of the situation.

"And as payment for my allowing you to attend that shit-kid's funeral, you owe me much more sex." He slams her against the wall, running his tough hands up and down her body. "Whenever I feel like having sex, you will come to the closet with me. Is that understood, inmate?"

Swallowing a lump, Lorna submissively nods her head. She can feel her knees growing weak and feels as if they'll give out on her. "Y-yes, sir. C-can I p-please go to my bunk now?"

Mendez pushes her harshly to the cold floor and gives a curt nod. "I'll come find you when I'm in the mood. Get the fuck outta here, whore-face!"

* * *

Dinner time has the cafeteria packed with hungry prisoners. Lorna sits herself at an empty table—knowing that's the best option; she can't risk having anyone notice her timidity and question it.

The women at her usual table see that she's chosen to sit separately and worry at the sickly sight of her. "She doesn't look too well," Yoga Jones speaks up, "I wonder why she chose to sit alone today…she must be having one of those days—I know what that's like. Sometimes it's just best to distance yourself from others."

Nicky grits her teeth uneasily. Seeing how slightly Lorna's body seems to shake brings an unsettling feeling to her. "No, that's not what it is! Something fucking happened to the kid—do you not fucking see the tremoring in her legs?!"

"Mendez," Tricia says between mouthfuls of food. "He probably did something. I mean the way he dragged her outta here this morning…If that don't ring any alarm bells, I don't know what does."

"No fucking shit, Trish! I fucking said that to Red, but she's so clueless sometimes. What the fuck did he to do to her? She looks like she's ready to give up on life." Nicky can feel anger boiling inside. Mendez is one of her least favorite people in the world—he's broken more laws than some of the women in here have.

Red stands there, her hands on her hips and stares sternly at her daughter. "Instead of creating reasons for the way Lorna's behaving, why not go over there and ask her for yourselves? I'm sure she won't appreciate you guys assuming things," she shakes her head at them and does exactly what she suggested they do—she walks over to the empty table Lorna's at and sits across from her.

Lorna's eyes are focused on the food on her tray when she hears a familiar accent speak to her. Shyly, she lifts her head to find Red's sitting across from her and giving her a worried stare, "Why are you sitting all alone, Lorna? You know you're welcome at our table—is something wrong?"

"Just needed-needed some space to think, is all. No-no, nothing is wrong, ma'am," Lorna weakly responds, focusing back on her tray. She pushes the barely-touched food around with her fork, not exactly hungry for it.

" _Ma'am_?" Red gives her a questioning look, reaching gently across to grab one of her hands. Her heart aches at the feeling of Lorna's frail hand tremoring within her own. She gives it a tender stroke, peering at her in concern. "Lorna, you know to call me Red… Something is definitely not right here—your hands are shaky, your eyes have a noticeable fear in them, and it looks like you haven't eaten a thing. What's going on with you, sweetheart? Did something happen?"

Before Lorna can even open her mouth to say anything, Nicky sits down right beside her and tightly wraps her in a hug. She can tell something's not quite right with the younger woman—the way she nearly flinches at the touch, the paleness radiating off her skin. "You were gone an awfully long time today…Where did Mendez have you drive, kid? You guys were gone for like half the damn day!"

Feeling overwhelmed with the many questions both women are asking her, Lorna starts to panic. She knows if she sits here any longer, she may just let what happened slip out – and that will certainly not do her any good. With much reluctance, she carefully lets herself out of the redhead's grasp and gathers her tray. "There was a lotta running around to be done. I'm gonna go get some fresh air…I need time to think," she says, standing up with her tray in her hands.

"Lorna, you barely touched your food. You need to eat more—sit back down and finish your dinner. I will not stand to see any of my girls starve themselves," Red firmly says, not allowing her eyes to look elsewhere until she sees that Lorna is sitting back at the table. "When you finish the food, you can do as you please. Starving yourself is not going to do you any good."

Sighing, Lorna complies and sits beside Nicky. She quickly shoves big mouthfuls of food into her mouth, not caring how awful she looks. The more she shoves in, the closer she is to getting some time away from everyone.

The sight brings out a small chuckle from Nicky. "You're something else, kid," she smirks, giving her a comforting kiss on the head. "You go from not eating to shoving gigantic mouthfuls in in like seconds! One of the things that intrigues me most about ya, Lorna."

Lorna just shrugs and forces more huge forkfuls of the food in. She finally finishes, after five minutes, and hurriedly leaves before either woman can stop her again. Time to herself is necessary right now—she needs to get away from them before she blurts out information she shouldn't.

Nicky and Red watch her walk away solemnly. "I'm worried about her, ma. Something is seriously wrong with her…she looks hurt and is extremely standoffish."

Red nods, her eyes full of uncertainty, "I am too. Something happened. We'll get to the bottom of it, my precious daughter. We just have to approach this very delicately."

* * *

Finally, outside, and away from other people, Lorna feels relieved. She takes in the warmth of the sun, and plops herself down on the grass. It feels great to get fresh air, she thinks. Nature has always played a vital role in her life—from the time she was little to now, spending time outside is the one thing that can keep her calm. It's the one thing that no matter where she is she'll still enjoy it.

Leaning her head against the grass, Lorna closes her eyes and takes in the sounds around her. Birds chirping, the wind's whistling, the distant sound of shoes hitting against the gravel – it all overwhelms her with a peaceful sensation. A small smile spreads across her face as she lets herself lie back and enjoy the naturalistic environment.

" _Inmate!_ Get the fuck up, _and_ back inside."

That harsh voice quickly wipes the smile from Lorna's face. Her eyes pop open and she shutters when she sees Mendez hovering over top of her. He doesn't give her a chance to get up—yanking her by the shirt to a standing position and dragging her back towards the prison. A knot forms in her stomach as she anticipates what's coming. She hates herself for giving in to his demands – for allowing him to manipulate her into being his new sex toy.

Mendez holds her tightly by the wrists as he sneaks her past the dorm area and into one of the custodial closets. He roughly pushes her to the floor, pinning her beneath him. "Such a filthy whore you are, lipstick!" He smirks, running his hands down her body. "I'm gonna have a field day with you."

* * *

Consumed with worry, Nicky finds herself sitting in a bathroom stall with a cigarette in her hands. If Red found out about this she knows she would really be in for it. But smoking calms her nerves, so she tries not to think about the what ifs. (At least it's not a hardcore drug—like her beloved heroin.) She brings it to her lips, sucking in some air, and exhales deeply. A calming sensation washes over her and a small smile spreads amongst her face.

"Mm, smells like smoke in here," Tricia's voice rings through the room, making Nicky sigh—so much for some time to herself. "Is that you smoking, Nicky? You got any extras? I haven't had a cigarette in months!" The blonde questions, finding her way to the stall she's in.

"I guess I could spare one for ya…but you better not say a word to Red—she'll have a fit if she finds out about us smoking." Nicky reluctantly reaches into her pocket to fetch Tricia a cigarette. She's not one to share hers but she knows her blonde friend won't take advantage of her kindness.

Quickly lighting it, Tricia gives a thankful nod to the older woman. "I'll find a way to pay you back, Nicky. Thanks," she says, holding the cigarette between her fingers and happily taking a long smoke. "God—this really hits the spot!" She breathes out an airy sigh.

"Fuck yeah, it does," Nicky nods, finishing off the rest of her own. She gives a firm glance towards Tricia, crossing her arms over her chest, "You don't need to fucking pay me back…it's just one little cig—as long as you don't make a habit of this, then we're all good."

A few silent moments go by while the two joyfully smoke their cigarettes. The sound of footsteps coming in the room causes both women to panic and immediately throw their smokes into the toilet, quickly flushing them down. Tricia slowly peeps her head out of the stall to see who it is and when she looks back at Nicky, her face expresses a small amount of pity. "It's just Morello out there—but she looks even worse," she quietly whispers so that only the redhead can hear her words.

Hearing that, Nicky has a look out of the stall for herself and what she sees has her heart burst with deep concern. "Shit," she whispers, "She looks so fucking petrified! What the fuck is going on with her and why is she not saying a damn word to anyone?" She clenches her hands in fists, trying not to punch them in the wall—she doesn't want Lorna to know that the two of them are in there.

"Hey, whore-face—what the fuck's taking you so long? I told you that you could go to the bathroom real quick, not fuckin' sit in there and meditate for a half-hour! Do you want people to find out about our arrangement? Cause' I'll happily make sure you get thrown into max for the rest of your life if that's the case," Mendez's voice yells into the bathroom.

His words confirm every suspicion that Nicky's had. A rage begins to rise within her, she hurriedly makes her way out of the stall and walks over to Lorna – who's hands tremble against the rim of the sink. She gives a concerned look to her, "Lorna? What's he talking about— _your arrangement_? What's going on, kid? Is he – is he raping you?" Her hand gently lays against Lorna's shoulder as she stares uneasily into her eyes.

Lorna swallows hard. She wants to tell her, but her mouth refuses to open. Her frightened eyes dart to the floor.

"Morello, if you don't get the fuck out here I'll make sure you never see the light of day again!" Mendez barks from the hallway, impatiently waiting for her.

Exhaling a shaky breath, Lorna unquestioningly does what is asked of her and meekly leaves the bathroom—as well as a tremendously apprehensive Nicky behind.

* * *

It's nearly 7'o'clock in the evening and Red settles on her bed with one of her favorite novels in hand. She puts her reading-glasses on, reaches for her cup of tea, and lets herself become emerged within the story. For three minutes, she's in pure bliss. Until, the sound of her daughter's yelling interrupts her. She sighs, marking the page she's on and setting it aside.

"My suspicion has fucking been confirmed—that dumbass Mendez _is_ raping Lorna!" Nicky growls, plopping down beside her mother on the bed. She slams her hand angrily against the mattress, staring up at the Russian. "I saw her in the bathroom—both Tricia and I did—and she's fucking scared shitless, ma. And then fucking Mendez yells in about how he'll make sure she never sees the light of day again! To make it even more obvious, he chooses to call her whore-face! What the fuck kind of sick fucker is he?! What goddamn reason does he have to fucking torment her like this?!"

Red's heart sinks; she pulls her daughter into her arms, running a hand calmingly through her mess of hair. "There is absolutely no reason for his nasty behavior, Nicky. He's more of a criminal than most of us in here put together. He's evil and sick and he needs to be reprimanded for all the wrong he's done," she sternly says, shaking her head in anger.

"Well, what the hell are we gonna do about him? There's no way we can let him continue to fucking sexually abuse Lorna! She has three years in here; can you imagine how much damage three years of being raped will do to her?! We need to stop him, ma," Nicky cries out, desperately staring up into her blue eyes.

"And what do you expect us to do, Nicky? We're the fucking prisoners here, you think anyone's gonna believe a word we say?!"

Nicky crosses her arms, glaring at her. "So, what—we're supposed to just sit back and let her get hurt?! Are you fucking kidding me?! I'll gladly be thrown in the SHU if it means that Lorna doesn't have to spend her entire sentence getting fucking abused to death!"

Red sighs, tightening her hold on the younger woman. "No, that's not what I mean… We just need to think of an appropriate way to go about this, Nicky. We're not going to allow her to go through this much longer."

* * *

There's even more pain this time, Lorna realizes, as she very slowly hobbles back to her bunk in the wee hours of the night. And it doesn't help that she hasn't gone to the onsite doctor about it. Her legs feel like she's been put in a chemical bath—the burning sensation is almost unbearable. She must nearly waddle to stop them from rubbing together as she walks.

Once she's back to her cube, she collapses onto her bed and buries herself deep under the blankets.

"Another late night, huh Morello? I'm surprised none of the guards' yell at you to come back here," Boo's voice tiredly says from the other bed as she gives an unnerving glance to her.

Lorna gulps. "I-I d-don't think it's your business what-what I do," her voice meekly responds as she settles underneath the cover.

Boo snorts a chuckle. "Are you forgetting you're in prison? Everything is everyone's business in here—whether you like it or not. You probably only get away with your late-night walks because of your pretty face and sexy body—the guards drool over you, and I bet you have sex with them to get to do whatever you want. Isn't that right, ya sexy slut?"

" _Shut up!_ Please just shut the hell up! You know nothing about me!" Lorna shakily cries out, her heart pounding alarmingly fast. "I-I much rather the-the guards yell at me than to ever have-have s-sex with them… I-I don't _want_ to have it—I really don't—but, but—" she stops herself, she knows if she lets it slip out, her life will be over.

Looking her over, Boo immediately regrets her sarcastic joke and grows deeply concerned for the girl. "You don't want it, but you what? I wasn't being serious, Morello—I'm sarcastic towards everyone," she says. "You _are_ having sex with the guards, but you don't want it—they're raping you! Now that explains everything…you need to tell Caputo, so they can fire the assholes!"

Lorna violently shakes her head, her body shaking as she hysterically sobs. "No, no, no! It's-it's not rape and-and you can't say a word to anyone, especially not Caputo! I have to have sex with him, I owe him," her voice breaks. She can hardly breathe from the crying and sobbing—her heart won't stop pounding, she feels like the world is collapsing in on her.

" _Nichols_! You better come here and talk some fucking sense into your girlfriend!" Boo yells through the dorm—gaining many irritated groans from sleeping inmates.

Within seconds, Nicky is there and immediately by Lorna's side—pulling her to lay securely against her body. She has her arms wrapped fiercely around the petite woman as her eyes peer worriedly down at her. "Lorna, you gotta tell me what the hell is going on. No more avoiding it, kid. You're clearly not okay! I'm fucking worried to death about you; we all are."

Shaking her head, Lorna trembles in the older woman's arms. "Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll-I'll explain. Please-please just let me sleep. My body hurts all over and I'm-I'm exhausted…"

Nicky sighs, but nods her head. She leans back on the pillow while Lorna meekly curls up against her chest and closes her eyes. "First thing tomorrow morning, you and I are having a talk. No—you, Red, and I are having a talk. We need to get to the bottom of this; you cannot go on like this, baby—you're too frail," she softly whispers into her ear. She gives a comforting kiss to Lorna's head, stroking a hand tenderly through her hair, "Sleep well, kid. I'll be right here with you all night—even if I have to get a shot for this."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This is another dark-themed chapter. There is some minor (possibly major) depictions of rape/sexual abuse. There's also a good amount of comfort/fluff towards the end.

Late into the night, Lorna awakens in a panic. She sits straight up and starts to breathe heavily. Her face is remarkably pale, her hands sweaty and shaky; her eyes stare straight ahead into the hallway. "It-it's n-never g-gonna end," she whispers so quietly, she's not sure if she actually spoke it or thought it.

Nicky wakes up seconds later, looking up at her uneasily. "What's the matter, kid?" She softly questions, sitting up as well. Her heart aches at the distressing sight of Lorna's trembling body and heavy breathing. She wraps her back in her arms while running a hand comfortingly through her hair. "It's late. Come on, lie back down; you need sleep, kid."

"He's-he's never g-gonna l-leave me a-alone," Lorna mumbles, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes stare bewilderedly ahead at nothing. "N-n-nobody is sup-supposed to know…please-please don't-don't say anything!"

"Shh, shh," the taller woman whispers soothingly into her ear. Her arms pull Lorna closer to her body as she gently rocks her back and forth. "You need to sleep—don't worry about him; you're safe in my arms, kid, no one's gonna touch you." She hopes her words bring some amount of comfort to the petite woman; it breaks her heart to see her so timid.

Hands gripping tightly—desperately—onto Nicky's shirt, Lorna stares tearfully into her eyes and shakes her head. "I-I-I can't-can't sleep…He'll always do it—he's got all-all the power. And-and there's nothing I can do to stop him or anyone…He walks around the dorm all day and night; he knows where my cube is, he can drag me outta here whenever he pleases, Nicky, and I have no choice but to let him…"

Looking softly down into the distraught woman's eyes, Nicky presses a soothing kiss to her forehead. Her fingers lightly caress the sides of her face, "Shh, calm down; take a deep breath, kid." She gives a soft pat to her back, never looking away from her.

"Baby, I promise he's not gonna touch you anymore tonight! That's why I'm here with you—to protect you," her voice soothes gently into the other's ear as she continues to stroke her face. "Would you feel safer if we went somewhere a little more private?"

"P-private? But this-this is prison…" Lorna uneasily looks up at her.

Nicky nods knowingly, running a hand tenderly through her hair. "Yes, but there's still places to go to get privacy. Come on, I'll take you to one of my favorite places—the chapel. No one will be there at this late hour, which means you can try to get some more sleep."

* * *

When they arrive in the chapel—after they slyly leave the dorms—Nicky gently leads her to a private area behind the organ that sits on a worn-out stage in the front of the room. She has Lorna sit down on the blanket she brought with them and then sits beside her. Cupping Lorna's head softly in her hands, she presses a small kiss to her forehead and lays it on to her lap. "You think you'll be able to rest now, kid? No one's gonna come in here and bother us—at least not until morning," she gently says, running a hand through the other's short hair.

"We-we won't get in trouble for sneaking out of the dorms? I'm already in a deep enough hole…I can't afford to make it deeper, Nicky," Lorna's voice shakes while speaking.

Nicky shakes her head, wrapping the blanket gently around the brunette. "We won't get in trouble; they're not gonna know," she whispers soothingly, slowly caressing Lorna's cheek with the palm of her hand. "Close your eyes, baby. You look about ready to pass out. After breakfast, tomorrow, we're gonna go find Red and the three of us are having a talk. We need to find out what's going on with you and see what ma and I can do to help ya, kid."

* * *

"Lorna, _Lorna_ ," Nicky frantically whispers, shaking the sleeping brunette, "Ya gotta wake up…it's almost time for the worshippers to come here and we need to leave before anyone sees us."

Brown eyes groggily peep out of their lids and stare up at the redhead. "It's morning all ready?" Her voice asks, still heavy with sleep. A huge yawn escapes her as she situates herself into a sitting position.

Nicky nods, a sad smile on her face. "Yeah—sorry, kid. I know you had a rough night last night but we gotta get the hell outta here before any COs see us. We'll go see Red in the kitchen and ask if she can get you a cup of coffee. I'm sure she will though; she's got a soft spot for you," she runs a hand through her hair before helping her to stand up.

They gather the blanket from the ground, quickly leaving the chapel and heading to Lorna's bunk. Nicky throws the blanket onto her bed and wraps her arm around the shorter woman's shoulder as they walk in the direction of the kitchen.

Right before they can head back to find Red, Mendez stops them and gives a hard stare towards Lorna. "We have a lot of shit to get done today, inmate. So, you better be _real_ quick with breakfast. I'm not afraid to get your pay deducted! Is that clear?" He barks at her, letting a rough hand harshly run down the back of her body.

"Y-yes sir," Lorna obediently replies, her legs weakly shaking beneath her.

Nicky wraps her arm securely around Lorna's shoulder, leading her quickly away from him. The rage that's boiling inside her is about ready to burst as she brings her to the back of the kitchen. "Where's Red?" She asks Gina, who's busy putting a pan of bacon in the oven.

"In the office—writing up the inventory for next week," the other responds, pointing in that direction.

The two head over towards her small office, entering it with caution. Nicky gently leads Lorna over to the unused, unkempt, chair and sits down while pulling her onto her lap. She delicately lays the shorter woman's head against her chest, pressing a soothing kiss to her head before staring over at her prison mother. "Ma, can the three of us talk real quick?" Nicky softly asks.

Red looks up from her work and a sympathetic smile spreads across her face. She nods. "Of course, my Nicky. What's the matter?" Her eyes darting between the two women. "Lorna, are you feeling okay?" Worry lines creased on her forehead as she looks the young woman over.

"Yes-yes, I'm fine," Lorna blurts out, remembering that she must do a better job at keeping her secret. She knows she almost let it slip last night—it was easy to, because of how much pain she was in—but looking at the bigger picture, she realizes how much danger she'll be in if she does tell the truth.

The obvious lie makes Nicky's anger worse. She tightens her hold on her, peering down at her with a sternness in her brown eyes. "Why are you lying, kid? You fucking were scared to death to sleep last night! You told me how he's never gonna leave you alone! So, why all of a sudden are you pretending that everything's okay? _We all_ know you're not fucking okay—you're so shaky all the time, now, and you stutter a lot more often. You're fucking skittish around everyone, but especially Mendez. _What the fuck is he doing to you?_ "

Tears threaten to pour from Lorna's eyes but she does her best to keep them in. She casts her eyes to the floor, ashamed of herself for putting herself in such a terrible situation. "Nothing; everything's fine," her voice is barely louder than a whisper.

"Honey, don't lie," Red chimes in, her eyes worriedly looking over her. "Everything is _not_ fine. Something happened to you and you're too scared to tell us. You don't need to be, Lorna; we just want to help you. Three years is a long time in here—you don't want to spend that entire period in fear, do you?" She reaches over to stroke Lorna's forehead comfortingly with her thumb.

Lorna bites her tongue to keep herself quiet. She can't give in to their persistence. The information must not be given out—she cannot afford to spend any more time in this place than she's already been given.

Sighing, Red realizes there's no use in forcing it out of her. She knows Lorna's resistance is only adding to her daughter's anger but there is nothing either of them can do for her if she is not willing to tell them the problem. "Okay, sweetheart… When you're ready to talk to us and tell us what's going on, you know where to find us. We'll help you whenever you're ready for it."

"Ma, no fucking way! She's not leaving here until she tells us what the fuck is happening!" Nicky angrily yells out.

Her hands slam roughly against the medal of Red's desk. Her rage-filled eyes dart down to the brunette's, pouring into hers with a deep desperation. "Why are you fucking denying the truth?! Why, Lorna? Do you fucking enjoy suffering alone?! Because if that's the case then go on and suffer until you fucking end up dead—that's probably what you want, isn't it? Your son's death is too much for you to handle so you're just done with everything! You think he'd be happy to see you like this? You think your son would be happy to know that his own mother wants to die?"

The words break Lorna even more but she says nothing. She shakily gets out of the chair, her eyes deeply pained as she stares back at Nicky. Her mouth opens to say something but no words come out. She can hardly keep her balance with how much her legs are trembling.

Red gives a hard glare to her daughter, appalled with her behavior towards the younger woman. "That was very insensitive and uncalled for, Nicky. You _do not_ throw a mother's loss of her child in her face like that! And you do not _ever_ mock someone's grief—you know better than this, Nicky. You are a nice, compassionate young lady. Stop letting your anger get the best of you," she harshly speaks to her daughter, shaking her head disapprovingly at her. She stands up from behind the unsteady desk and walks over to wrap her arms soothingly around the distraught Lorna.

"I'm sorry for my daughter's behavior; she doesn't mean what she says. Her anger causes her to speak before she thinks. Why don't you go help Gina in the kitchen? That should keep your mind off things, and you can get to know her." Red embraces Lorna gently, giving a motherly kiss to the top of her head and then releases her—watching as she meekly leaves the room, her legs ever so lightly shaking while she walks.

Left alone, now, with her impulsive daughter, Red stands over her – staring at her in disbelief. "Care to explain why you would say all that shit to her? Especially after you've become a close friend to her, Nicky…why would you say such hurtful things to her?"

"Because," Nicky starts, frustration clearly evident in her tone, "She is fucking _deliberately_ lying about her situation! I told you how Tricia and I saw her in the bathroom yesterday and how fucking Mendez was screaming at her… All night, she kept telling me how scared she is and how she couldn't fall asleep because he would never leave her alone! And now she's back to fucking lying—trying to act like everything's all rainbows and sunshine. _I'm fucking sick of it_ ; if she doesn't fucking open her damn eyes and realize how much danger she's in by not telling anyone then she _is_ gonna fucking end up dead!" Her hands clench into fists as she bites her lip to try and control the impulsive rage building within her.

* * *

"Get a move on, inmate," Mendez growls, coming to stand over her while she's timidly finishing her breakfast. "We got a lot of running around to do today. _Let's go_ —your job is more important than the damn food!" He grabs the half-full carton of milk and devilishly pours it onto her tray of food.

Nicky feels her rage start to boil. "Are you fucking serious?! Why the fuck would you do that? How can you expect the poor kid to do her job when you're fucking denying her food?! What kind of logic is that?" Her hands tremble harshly against the table. She's a bit grateful when she feels Red's hands on her own—she can't afford to get thrown back in the SHU again, not when that won't do anything to help Lorna out of this mess.

He turns briefly away from Lorna to glare at Nicky. "The fuck did you just say to me, inmate? You wanna get yourself a one-way to ticket to the SHU? Because I'll gladly throw you there _. I'm_ the officer here—you're all just vile criminals, who enjoy breaking the laws. And this one," he points to the emotionless brunette, "she ain't no _kid_ – she's a sick, nasty, sex-hungered woman. She goes around trying to get us COs to have sex with her. She's _sickening_."

Mendez roughly yanks Lorna up and drags her out of the cafeteria.

"That fucking bastard," Nicky hisses, hitting the table loudly with her fist. "He needs to be fired; we need to fucking get him fired!"

Red grabs her hands, giving them a tight squeeze. She nods, "I agree, Nicky, he does need to lose his job. But you need to control your anger—getting yourself thrown in the SHU will not do you or Lorna any good."

Nicky groans. "I can't fucking control my anger! Not when he fucking treats her like she's his sex slave—do you not see how easily she goes along with what he says?! She's so terrified of not doing what he says than she is of _actually_ doing it…That isn't right, ma! We gotta help her—we need to fucking stop her from letting this happen."

* * *

After a few hours of driving the van with Mendez, he roughly brings Lorna back in to the building and takes her in to a janitor's closet. Her body trembles at his harsh touch—she's not sure how much more she can handle before she completely breaks. "I-I thought after the one time…that-that would be it… It-it hurts real bad," her voice is weak and small as she petrifyingly glances up at him.

"Well, you thought wrong, whore-face," Mendez howls, throwing her against the wall and viciously taking her clothes off. He lets his hands roam freely around her bare body, smirking when he sees her wince at the touch.

"I told you that you will have sex with me whenever I want it. And that's not changing—unless of course a new sexy inmate walks in here and catches my eye. But the chances of that are _pretty_ slim…haven't had a beautiful, sexy woman like you in here in a long while." His voice husky against her ear. He runs a finger down her face and then quickly undresses his bottom half.

Lorna swallows a lump in her throat, silently bracing herself for what's to come. She hates this—the pain it causes her, the fear it makes her have, the fact that if she tells anyone it'll ruin her life for good. "W-why?" Her voice timidly asks as she stare up at him with her innocent brown eyes.

" _Why what?!_ " Mendez harshly spits out, pinning her down to the ground.

The harsh tone makes her flinch but she bores her eyes up into his and goes on, "Why-why do you do this? Why do you feel the need to-to force women to have sex with you? W-why do you enjoy hurting us?" Lorna honestly wonders as she timorously gazes up at the man towering over her.

"W-were-were you sexually abused g-growing up? Is that why you do this?" Her voice soft and gentle, questioning him. Even if he had endured such abuse in his childhood, she knows it's no excuse for this. But at least she'll be able to somewhat understand why he does it.

A hard slap is felt on her cheek. Mendez glares darkly at her while pushing himself into her. "Shut your filthy mouth, whore-face! You don't ask me a damn thing—you piece of shit criminal!" His hand reaches towards her face, hitting it with a strong force. "I'm in charge of you—you don't speak to me unless I ask you to. Fucking dumbass cunt," he growls. He pushes himself deeper into her body, a pleased grin on his face at the tears that fall from her eyes. It always brings him pleasure to see the amount of pain he can cause to a woman.

* * *

Red stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom, applying her nightly moisturizer to her face when she hears a faint cry—that seems to be coming from one of the stalls. At first, she ignores it as she assumes it's probably just a couple of women having sex – which, of course, isn't uncommon in there. But a few moments later, when the sound of the shower's running hits her ears and the mysterious woman lets out a blatant _ow_ , Red instantly begins to worry.

"Lorna? Is that you?" Her voice uneasily calls out as she makes her way from the sink and towards the shower stalls. The closer she gets, the more noticeable the younger inmate's cries. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes," Lorna shakily responds from one of the shower stalls. Her whole-body aches and the hot water only intensifies the feeling. Her skin is raw, bruised, and chafed—making the entire process of showering almost impossible. "I-I'm fine… Don't, don't needa worry about me."

The Russian shakes her head. She can see – rather hear – through the young girl's lie. "Lorna, you need to stop lying. We all saw the way Mendez dragged you out of the cafeteria this morning…and how cruel he treats you. He's doing something to you, and you're too scared to say anything—is that right?" Red kept her voice calm and gentle, hoping to coax her into finally coming clean about what's going on.

Keeping quiet, Lorna tries to quickly finish her shower. A small whimper escapes her from the amount of agony the hot water is causing her skin. She shuts the water off and reaches for her towel, wrapping it tightly around her body. Timidly, she opens the curtain and exits the stall—finding Red sitting on the bench right in front of it as she looks worriedly at her. "If-if I t-tell you…will you-will you promise not to say anything to anyone?"

Red apprehensively nods her head, motioning for her to have a seat beside her. Once the other is sitting beside her, she pulls her in for a soothing embrace. "Whatever you say, it's just between us. Unless it's something that's putting you in danger," she says the last part in a whisper, not wanting the other to hear and refuse to open up. Her hand runs gently through the smaller woman's dark hair as she patiently waits for her to go on.

"The other day—when I was gone for a while with Mendez—I-I was at my-my son's funeral," she mumbles the last part, afraid that she might be heard by a CO (even though none are around). "H-he…I snuck outta prison for-for the funeral…Mendez told me he'd let me go, since I didn't get furlough, but he said the only-only way I could go was to have – to have sex with-with him. And he—he said not to tell anyone or I'll be in even more trouble…He'll tell Caputo and—"

Lorna is overwhelmed with a rack of piercing sobs. Her body trembles as the emotions—she's held inside—finally come tumbling out of her.

The sight breaks Red's heart. She wraps her arms tighter around the distraught brunette. "Shh, shh," she soothes into her ear, taking her head into her hands and gently laying it onto her chest. "Let it all out, honey; you're safe. I won't tell him you told me. You're not going to get in more trouble, don't worry." Her hands stroke up and down the other's back, trying to calm her heartrending cries.

Once Lorna's a bit more stable, Red cups her face in her hands and stares into her eyes with deep concern. "This sex thing—it wasn't just a one-time thing, huh? He's still hurting you, isn't he?"

"He-he said I owe him as much sex as he wants," the younger inmate sniffles, focusing her eyes on the ground. "He's-he's never going to stop…I'm-I'm his-his sex toy tha-that he can do whatever he wants to."

Red tightens her hold on Lorna. She gives a firm shake of her head. "You're _not_ anyone's sex toy, Lorna. He will not be laying another one of his filthy fingers on you. No way in hell is he tormenting you any longer! I will not allow this to go on—I will _absolutely not_ sit back and let one of my daughters to get constantly abused like this. We _must_ tell someone, Lorna; you cannot continue go through this type of pain!" She presses a motherly kiss to the top of the brunette's head, lightly rocking her in her arms.

Hearing the other refer to her as one of her daughters, a feeling of warmth washes over Lorna. She looks up at her, "Y-you consider me one of your daughters, R-Red?"

Red nods, giving a sympathetic smile to her. "Of course I do, Lorna. You're a sweet girl—someone needs to be a mother to you in here. And that's why I cannot keep silent about the abuse you're going through…Sweetheart, you can't live like that. It's not good for you—do you know how much psychological damage being raped for three years will cause you? _Way too much_."

"But-but he's a CO…there's no way to stop him! He'll tell Caputo about-about how I snuck out of here…and then I'll get sent to max for the rest of my life…Please, _please_ , Red don't say anything!" Lorna dreadfully cries out, her brown eyes pleadingly pouring up into the Russian's.

"Lorna, you will not get in trouble – this is all on Mendez, honey. He's threatening you; he's _raping_ you, he's making your life hell. And I cannot allow this to continue. Your mental health is more important than his sickening fetish," she speaks firmly, her hands gently holding Lorna's tear-rimmed face.

Red tenderly caresses her face with her thumb. "Let's go get you to your bunk. I'll find Nicky; she'll be able to help us think of a plan to get Mendez in trouble. And yes, Lorna, _we are_ telling Nicky about this. She cares about you—you're one of the first woman, aside from Tricia, that she actually genuinely cares about. She doesn't want to see you suffering like this, none of us do. You don't deserve to be treated this cruelly!"

* * *

Nicky worriedly follows Red to Lorna's cube. Her eyes looking her over with deep concern. "Kid, you're _not_ okay," her voice gentle as she carefully approaches her. She sits beside her on the rough mattress. Immediately, her arms envelop protectively around the quivering brunette. "Come on, tell me the truth. Tell me what damage has been done to ya, kid."

"I-I don't-don't enjoy it—the pain and suffering, being alone—" Lorna shakily starts, looking up at the redhead with a small amount of hurt in her eyes. Even though she knew the older woman didn't mean the words, it still hurt her to hear her say such things to her.

Nicky's heart shatters, a guilty expression washes over her face. "I know, baby, I know…I'm so sorry I said that shit to you," she tenderly says, pressing a small kiss to her head. "That was really heartless of me…I only said it because of how worried I am for you and how fucking angry I am that someone— _Mendez_ —has the nerve to cause ya such an unfathomable amount of pain!"

"Okay, time to talk. Time to tell me the truth, kid. Don't be afraid, please; Red and I won't let you get hurt anymore."

Looking between the two women—both whom give her an encouraging nod—Lorna lets out a deep breath. "I owe M-Mendez sex – he let me go to my son's funeral…in exchange for sex. When he wants it, no matter how often. And if-if I refuse or tell people—like I am right now—he'll tell Caputo about my sneaking outta here and have me sent to maximum security…"

"You don't owe him a damn thing, kid," Nicky's voice fiercely yells out. "It's not fucking sex, what the two of you are doing— _it's fucking rape_. He is fucking _raping_ you, Lorna. He's fucking taking advantage of your situation! Absolutely sickening is what he is…fucking hurting you like this and using your son's funeral as bait—oh fuck do I wanna slice a knife right into his throat!"

Feeling the small woman's body convulse in her arms, she tightens her hold and kisses her soothingly on the head. "It's okay, Lorna, it's okay! Ma and I aren't gonna let you get raped any longer…We're gonna get Mendez fired; he is a worse criminal than any one of us in here."

Lorna grips tightly onto Nicky's shirt, her eyes looking bewildered as she peers into her eyes. Tears run heavily down her cheeks. "No-no one will believe us…He-he's got all the power; it's never gonna end," she cries out, her body continuing to shake.

"Yes, they are gonna believe us. This has got to stop! You cannot keep getting abused like this—you're a fucking human being, it doesn't matter what you did to get in here; he has no fucking right to treat you like his fucking sex slave! The next time he rapes you, Red and I will find Caputo and have him come to whatever closet he takes you to."

Nicky lays Lorna's head against her chest, hoping the soothing motion of its rising and falling will bring her some comfort. "You need to calm down, sweetie. You're gonna hyperventilate with this amount of shaking and sobbing! I know you're terrified and think you'll get in trouble, but that's not true…Ma and I will make sure of that. We'll take care of you, kid. You are part of our family now; it's our responsibility to make sure nothing happens to you. You gotta trust us, though."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains more angst/rape. It also contains a lot of fluff/comfort.

Harsh footsteps can be heard making their way towards Lorna's bunk. Fear overwhelms her as she recognizes the sound of those shoes. The closer he gets, the more her body quivers. She's somewhat glad that Nicky and Red are still there with her—at least he won't try anything, she hopes.

Nicky feels the light tremoring of Lorna's body against hers and gazes down into her eyes. "Calm down, kid. He's not laying another finger on ya. Ma and I are right here—we're not letting him hurt you. Ya gotta trust us," she calmly says, running her hand up and down her back in soothing circles.

"What do we have here?" Mendez's voice gets louder as he walks into Lorna's cube.

He glares at the three women. "Nichols, Reznikov, if you don't get the fuck outta here and to your own bunks, you're getting shots! And as for you, Morello, you're coming with me. We have work to do, inmate!" He yells, yanking her roughly out of Nicky's arms—his strong force causes her to fall flat on her face. "Get the fuck up!"

This time it's Red who speaks up to him, after helping the distressed Lorna off the ground and wrapping her in a protective embrace, with a strong amount of anger in her tone. "And what work do you have to do with her at this hour?! It's nine o'clock at night—all work shifts are long over by now!" She glares darkly up at the officer, not caring what trouble she gets in—there's no way she will let him anywhere near Lorna again.

"Ain't none of your business, inmate! Morello, get the fuck over here right now! Don't fucking make me talk to Caputo. Get a move on, we don't got all day!" Mendez barks, walking closer to Red—eyeing Lorna menacingly.

Red's arms don't loosen, only pull the fearful brunette closer. She continues to stare at the officer. "You're not touching her, Mendez," her voice low with venom. "I'm not letting you put another filthy hand on this poor child."

Mendez gives her a cold stare. "Are you telling an officer what to do, Reznikov? Do I need to remind you who the fucking criminal is here? I give the orders, and _you will_ let go of that fucking vile inmate." He makes his way close, forcing Lorna out of the Russian's strong hold, and starts to head toward the exit with her.

Rage at a boiling point, Nicky guards the front of the cube. There is no way she's going to allow his malicious escapades to continue. "Lorna is anything but vile— _leave her the fuck alone_! She is a fucking human being, not some object that you can toy around with," she growls, punching her fist into the wall.

Meekly, Lorna looks at the raging redhead and gives her a broken smile. She shakes her head. "It's fine, Nicky—he can do what he wants to me…I-I – not like I have a reason to go on with my life, the one thing that meant most to me is six feet under the ground. I'll be fine; don't worry bout me, I ain't worth it," she nonchalantly says, giving one last sad stare, before obediently following Mendez out of the room.

Nicky's rage grows—she grabs the pillow on Lorna's bed and throws it harshly at the wall. " _Fuck!_ Fucking fucker!" She kicks her feet over and over at the medal of the bed, then looks over at Red. "We need to fucking get Mendez caught—I'll follow them and you go find Caputo. This shit ends tonight, ma! I can't fucking stand to watch that sweet girl suffer like this…"

* * *

The minute he closes the closet door, he roughly throws Lorna to the floor. He slaps her so hard across her cheek that it leaves a very clear handprint. "You dumb piece of shit! I fucking warned you not to say a word about our arrangement, did I not?!" Mendez brings his hands to maliciously wrap around the petrified woman's neck and squeezes it hard.

"P-p-please s-stop," Lorna sputters out, trying to push his cold hands from her neck. It's starting to hurt her to breathe. Her head feels light—as if she might pass out.

"Stop? You want me to stop? I'm the one in charge here, whore-face; you seem to forget that," he growls, choking her neck tighter until he sees that her lips are starting to blue. He lets go, and begins to undress her—trailing his hands down past her stomach and in-between her thighs.

The door slams open—revealing an outraged Mr. Caputo while Nicky and Red stand behind him. He looks at Mendez with a darkness in his eyes. "What the fuck is this, Mendez? What the actual hell are you doing on top of a naked inmate?" The warden angrily asks, yanking him up off the tremoring brunette and dragging him near the doorway. Before he leaves, he looks at the two women—pointing his finger between them and Lorna, "You two get her cleaned up and to her bunk. And don't fucking talk about this with anyone."

With the two officers finally gone, Nicky and Red immediately go over to Lorna. Red gently puts her shirt back on while Nicky very carefully works on her lower half. Her eyes glaze over in tears when she sees all the damage that's been done to her friend's body. She looks up at her with a huge amount of empathy, "I'm so sorry ma and I didn't help you sooner, baby…I'm so sorry we let you get hurt!"

As Nicky slides the underwear up the brunette's legs, she notices bleeding from her genital area and obvious trauma that's been caused to it. The sight makes her eyes water up once again, she reaches for Lorna's hand and gives it a loving squeeze. She glances up at Red with concern, "Ma, she's bleeding and it's all red and chafed down there—she needs to go to medical!"

"N-no, please not-not tonight," Lorna's voice weakly speaks up, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy. "I just wanna go to my bunk and sleep, please. Everything hurts and I'm—I'm just so drained."

Red cups her face in her hands, stroking her palm tenderly against the small woman's cheek. "Fine—but first thing tomorrow morning, you will be going to see the doctor. There's no negotiating about that. And I'm bringing you to my cube, you can sleep in the spare bed – since I don't have a bunk-mate. You need to be taken care of tonight, honey. And _your_ bunk-mate wouldn't be much of a help."

* * *

Nicky gets in the bed beside Lorna, wrapping her arms securely around her waist as she presses a tender kiss on the top of her head. "What – what all did he do to ya, kid?" Her voice softly questions while she lightly strokes the brunette's back in a comforting manner.

"I-I already told you—he made me have sex with him… _a lot_. And he-he—never mind," Lorna quickly stops herself, not wanting to dwell on the intense pain he's caused to her.

Her hands tremble against Nicky's skin as she desperately wraps them around her neck. "Ya know when you and I had sex a few weeks ago? That was the first _and only_ time it felt really nice for me—even though I know it's morally wrong for me to have sex with another woman—I enjoyed it so much better than with the two men I've had sex with. You didn't yell at me and tell me that I'm just a pleasurable sex-whore…"

"Lorna…" The redhead stares warmly down at her, cupping her head in her hands and running a finger soothingly across her face, "This – it's not the first time you've been raped by someone? God, kid, that's fucking horrible! What the fuck is wrong with people?! You're just a sweet, loving woman—what fucking reason does anyone have to want to cause you harm?! You do not fucking deserve to be forced to do anything and no one has the right do that to you!"

"What Mendez did was _rape_ you! He forced himself on you—it doesn't matter what fucking bullshit he put in your head to make you think that it was consensual—he outright fucking raped you multiple times! You've been scared shitless for the past several days because of him and that fucking pisses me off! You don't deserve any of this, kid, you really fucking don't! What are you never minding about?! Is there something else he did to you? Tell me; I need to know what all he did," she says, stroking her face with the tips of her fingers as she peers softly in to her eyes.

Lorna lets out a shaky breath. "He just kinda—maybe—tried to choke me a bit...no big deal, really." Her shoulders give a small shrug as her eyes cast down in shame of herself.

Feeling her anger starting to come back, Nicky carefully cradles the smaller woman's head in her hands and examines her neck. She sees a faint discoloration that circulates around her neck and that makes her heart pulsate with rage. "No big deal?! You think his almost fucking killing you is no big deal, Lorna?!"

Seeing the shamed look in Lorna's eyes makes Nicky's anger disintegrate into a softer demeanor. She kisses her forehead tenderly as her fingers brush through her hair, "You don't deserve to be hurt like this, kid…you're the most harmless—and sweetest—woman in here. I don't see what reason _anyone_ could possibly have to want to hurt you!" She squeezes her arms tight around the smaller woman, continuing to stroke her hair.

"Why are you in here, Nicky? Just cause ya did drugs? That seems real stupid of a reason to be thrown in here for so long…" Lorna hopes asking about the other will change the subject—she doesn't want to dwell on that anymore.

"The whole prison system is fucked up, kid, that's why. People like you and I spend more time in this shithole than some murderers and fucking sex offenders—Exhibit A, Mendez—it's fucking bullshit _. He's more of a criminal than we are_!" Nicky seethes, still disgusted with the pain that he's caused to one of her closest friends in here.

Lorna nestles her head in to the crook of the redhead's neck, reaching her hand up to delicately caress her jawline. "Thanks, Nicky," she softly says, her fingers brushing up against her skin, "for all the nice things you've done for me since my first day. I never really had friends outside a here…cept' Christopher and—well I guess that's pretty much it. So, it – it really means a lot to me, having your friendship and everything. Unless we're not friends…I don't know how prison works—are you allowed to consider other women friends in here?"

Nicky nearly melts at the feeling of Lorna's snuggling closer to her. She kisses her softy on the forehead while encircling her arms protectively around her tiny waist. "Of course we're friends, baby," she warmly says into the brunette's ear, "Why the hell wouldn't we be allowed to consider each other friends in here? Where the fuck did you get that idea, kid?"

She sighs, brushing her hand through Lorna's short hair. "You're a sweet girl—don't know why people wouldn't wanna be your friend. Eh, they're loss."

Lorna sleepily smiles—something she hasn't done since before the loss of her son. "You're a real good person, Nicky. You are the only positive thing that has come out of being thrown here…well, _and_ Red, too."

"Keep livin' up to your sweetness, huh kid?" Nicky chuckles, kissing her temple. She is somewhat relieved with Lorna's optimistic behavior and loves to see a smile on her face—but she just hopes the girl isn't trying to bottle up her true emotions. "Looks like you're tired, Lorna. Maybe it's time to quit yacking and get to sleep, ay?"

Giving a small laugh, Lorna nods and cuddles her head nearer in to Nicky's chest—relishing in the warmth and safety the closeness provides to her. Her eyes slowly droop shut as she lets out a yawn. "Sleep does sound perfect right now."

Nicky wraps the blanket around them, pressing a warm kiss to the top of her head, and tightening her hold. "I'll hold ya all night, kid. If you wake up afraid, again, please wake me so I can comfort you—okay?" She feels Lorna's head slowly nods against her and sadly smiles, running a hand through her hair. "Night, kid."

* * *

The next morning, Lorna awakens in a deep sweat. She bolts up in bed and notices that she's alone. Her body slightly trembles as she fears that Mendez might drag her off again—even though he's been long thrown out of the prison. She can't help the freight that she feels; he's hurt her so much that she's not able to believe that she is finally free of it.

Nicky comes back in the cube—after making a quick run to the bathroom—and hurriedly goes over to the hysterical brunette. Her arms wrap tight around her, pulling her off of the ground and onto her chest as she softly pats her back. "Breathe, baby, _breathe_ ," she frantically says, rocking her softly in her arms. She pats her back a little harder while blowing lightly on to her face. "Come on, kid, don't do this. You need to calm down and breathe—you're fine, Lorna. No one is ever going to hurt you again – I won't allow it."

"I-I-I thou-thought he-he—"

"Shh, it's okay. You don't have to talk, kid. Just relax. I've got ya; you're safe," Nicky softly soothes. She presses her lips warmly atop her head while staring empathetically at her. "I'm here now, and I won't ever leave you. I'll take care of you—from now on, I will not leave your side. I'm not about to let you get hurt again. The only time I won't be with you is during work hours."

* * *

While Lorna is with the prison's appointed medical physician, Nicky grudgingly sits in the cafeteria for breakfast. She rolls her eyes at almost everything everyone says—not in the mood to deal with the petty drama that goes on.

"Ay, ya guys notice that Mendez hasn't been around hardly this morning?" Tricia speaks up, taking a bite of her soggy freezer-burned waffle.

"I also noticed that my bunk-mate was nowhere to be found last night," Boo gives a questioning look to Nicky. "Could the two be coincidently related, Nichols?"

Tricia's mouth gapes open. "Oh shit—were we right about him? He was raping her?"

Nicky slams her fist on the table, her eyes dark as she stares at the two. "Fucking shut up, please! Stop fucking talking about Lorna like the two of you care! You guys barely even know her—barely fucking talk to her when she sits here. What right do you have to ask about her?!"

"Nicky, _calm the fuck down_!" The blonde fiercely says, placing a hand on her quivering one. "We get that you're just lookin' out for her and ya worried but don't take it out on us. Just cause we ain't all buddy-buddy with her don't mean we don't care! Mendez is nasty and if he put his hands on someone like her, he deserves to be thrown outta here and right in to an ocean full of hungry sharks."

* * *

Before Lorna can go find Nicky, she's called down to the visitation room. The sight of her older sister standing there, holding her arms out for her, brings her a comforting sensation. She happily runs into Franny's waiting arms, squeezing her own arms around the taller sister's neck.

"I-I didn't know you were coming today, Fran," the younger brunette says, tightening the embrace. Her big eyes stare up into Franny's with apprehension.

Franny runs a hand through her sister's hair as she stares back with a sad smile. "I told you I was coming to visit you this weekend when we were at the… _you_ know," she tries to discreetly mention the funeral. "And you never called me about going to see the doctor here…please tell me you went?"

The younger sister dreadfully releases the embrace—before a CO yells at them—and sits down in the chair opposite her. "Sorry—just been real busy with, uh, driving the van and ya know being a prisoner…kinda forgot to call."

"That doesn't really answer my question, Lorn. Did you see the doctor or not?"

Lorna lets out a breath and slowly nods. "He gave me some cream and some kinda medicine cause' he says I got an infection. But I don't really know if I should take it or not…"

Franny folds her arms over her chest, giving a firm stare to her younger sister. "And why the hell would you think that? Do you want the infection to get worse?! You better fucking take the medicine, Lorna; our family _cannot afford_ to lose another member." She grabs one of Lorna's hands and squeezes it tightly in her own.

"Cause' he made me take a pregnancy test," her eyes cast to the floor while a sad sigh escapes her, "It came back positive—I'm pregnant, Fran! I'm fucking pregnant and in prison; can this get any worse? Who am I kidding…of course it can get worse, it's me."

"Lorna, you don't have to keep the baby! You were fucking raped—it's not your fault you're pregnant. And if you can't handle the thought of having that sick man's baby, you better not think that you have to. I mean you already had one baby from rape—life is not being fair to you…Why do you—of all the people in the world—have to be the one men choose to hurt?!"

Lorna's eyes darken at her sister's words. "Are you fucking kidding me? There's no way in hell I'm getting rid of my baby! I fucking just went through Emilio's loss and you think I'm about to kill this one?! Hell no," she shakily yells.

"Of course not, Lorna," Franny softens her voice, stroking the younger woman's hand soothingly. "I meant that you can always give it up for adoption. It's just an option—you don't have to do that if you don't want to. But are you sure you wanna go through another rape pregnancy? Especially while being locked in this place? Are you sure you _can_ handle it, love?"

"There's _no way_ I will let some stranger raise _my_ baby. It's my responsibility, Fran—I made this baby and now I have to take care of him. I handled Emilio's pregnancy so why wouldn't I be able to handle this one?!" Lorna can feel an anger bubbling inside her as she grits her teeth.

Franny shakes her head, gripping her hand tighter and staring sternly at her, " _You were forced_ to create this baby. You better stop blaming yourself for this, Lorna; it's bullshit. That filthy officer raped you. He used you and made you feel like shit—just like fucking Christopher did!" She gives her look, a frown on her face. "You _barely_ handled his pregnancy, Lorn. And this time you're in prison with hardly anyone to help you—because you refuse to let people—so, how the hell am I supposed to believe that you won't fall apart with another unwanted – _forced_ – pregnancy?"

"I won't, Fran—I have a real good friend in here," her voice softer as she gives her older sister's hand a loving squeeze. "I'll be fine. Please don't worry about me so much."

* * *

Sitting in the rec-room with Lorna, Nicky looks over at her with a concerned expression. "What the doctor say, kid?" She wonders as she gently grabs her hand, under the table, and strokes her knuckles with her thumb.

"Oh, uh, nothing r-really. Just gave me some cream and medicine; he said the redness will go away in a few weeks," the brunette nervously replies, keeping her eyes glued to the television screen that hangs on the wall.

Nicky sighs, squeezing her hand soothingly. "Three _weeks_? Jesus, kid, that son of a bitch really fucking hurt you!" Her eyes peer sadly at the brunette; she wraps an arm protectively around her shoulder, "I'm so sorry you have to deal with this shit."

"Don't worry bout' it, Nicky, I'll be fine… _not like this is the first time I've been violated_." The last part is spoken in an inaudible voice as Lorna lets out a small breath of air. "Let's talk about something else…something more positive. I can't take the depressive attitude in this place much longer," she says, her head simultaneously resting against the taller woman's shoulder.

The redhead frowns a bit at Lorna's statement—that the girl probably thought went unheard—but decides against say anything more on that matter. Instead, she smiles and drops a small kiss to her head. "Somethin' more positive in prison? Like what, kid? I think you're the only positive person in here, really—aside from Yoga Jones, of course. Speaking of, are you gonna take her up on that offer of trying out her yoga class?"

Lorna slowly nods. "I've been thinking about it—maybe I will. Yoga will be good for me, I think. And it is good exercise, so that's a plus. My mom – before she got real sick – used to make me go with her to yoga classes when I was in high school and I found I really enjoyed it."

"Sounds like a good plan, kid." Nicky strokes her hair, staring her softly in the eyes. "Are you and your mom close?"

A small smile spreads across the smaller woman's face as her head bobs up and down against Nicky's shoulder. "We _were_ while I was growing up and everything. She would always take me places with her and we started a little garden out in our front yard—she told me responsibility was important to have and that it was my job to look after the plants. She thought letting me take care of our garden would be good for me. And when the plants were ripe, we'd pick them – I grew tomatoes and peppers – and she'd have me help her make homemade spaghetti sauce. It was one of my favorite things to do with her. That's when she'd tell me some of the best stories of my grandparents."

Lorna's smile slowly fades into a frown. "And then, right after I graduated high school, she was diagnosed with brain cancer. It's really ruined her—she can't even get out of bed to relief herself or nothing. Me and my siblings have to do everything for her—well, now, it's just Franny and Mikey. They don't deserve to be forced to take care of her, though, especially not Franny. She's got four kids to take care of, too, and our mom. I mean we love our mom more than anything…but it's just so hard for them."

Nicky's heart shatters—once again—as she runs a hand tenderly through the brunette's soft hair. "I'm so sorry, kid! Cancer's such a bitch—hurting the people we love most. How come your dad doesn't take care of her? Isn't that his wife? Why is he not doing anything to help?!"

"My dad? Helping? I don't even think that's in his vocabulary," Lorna's voice bitter, "He's the laziest person I've ever met. He just fucking sits around, drinking beer, and watching the dumbass TV all day. I wish my mom would have married someone who actually loved her, because he doesn't do anything for her."

Sighing, Nicky wraps her arm tighter around her – pressing a warm kiss to her head. "I'm sorry, kid."

* * *

A month passes and Lorna can definitely feel the signs of pregnancy hyphening. Morning sickness has settled in—making it hard to hide it from everyone, especially Nicky and Red. But she does her best to keep it a secret. She forces herself to eat less to refrain from gaining too much weight, because then she'd have to admit that she's pregnant and that's something she would rather not have the entire prison knowing.

"I'm glad to see you're trying out my yoga class, Morello," Yoga Jones smiles as she watches the brunette lay one of the mats in the back of the room. "Yoga is good for the mind and body."

Lorna just smiles while following along with everyone else. It makes her feel at peace—clearing her mind of all coherent thoughts as she focuses on positioning her body in unnatural ways. She tunes out from her surroundings, enjoying the tranquility of her yoga mat. A tap to her shoulder causes her to immediately jump in the air.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Cool if I put my mat in the free space next to yours?" A tall, black-haired woman asks with a deep, raspy-like, voice.

Shaking her head, Lorna smiles kindly at her. "Course' it is. You're Alex, right? There was a lotta new people today, so I might be mixin' the names up."

The taller inmate nods. "No, that's right. And you're the van driver—Morello, yeah?"

"Just call me Lorna."

"Lorna it is, then," Alex chuckles, trying to do the yoga stretch that Jones is demonstrating. "How long have you been here?"

Groaning, Lorna looks over shoulder to the taller woman. "Three months…and still have thirty-three to go! What about you—how long you got?"

"Thirty-three months? Eh, that's not much. That'll go by fast." The other responds, giving her a sympathetic smile. "I have eight years. I'd do anything to switch sentences with you."

Lorna sighs, her eyes casting down to the floor. She feels petty for complaining about her time—which compared to most woman's is quite miniscule. "Eight years? God, that sucks. Sorry," she says, looking back over at her with a warm smile on her face, "It's actually not all that bad here though. Most of the women are nice. You can sit with me at my table for meals—if you want, of course…"

Smiling back, Alex nods. "I wouldn't mind—not like I know anyone in here, anyway. Thanks, Lorna."

* * *

Lorna happily leads Alex to her table for lunch. She smiles at everyone and gestures toward the taller woman beside her. "Guys, we have a new friend joining us. This is Alex, it's her first day here," she says, then looks up at her and points to the people at the table. "The redhead is Nicky and all these women are her family. The blonde is Tricia and beside her is Boo…and Yoga Jones, who you obviously know from yoga!"

Sitting down beside the petite brunette, Alex smiles and gives a small wave to everyone. "Hey. Good to meet ya guys," she chuckles.

Nicky smirks, looking over at her from the other side of Lorna. "What did you do to get in here?" She nonchalantly asks, putting a forkful of pasta in to her mouth. Her eyes scan the new inmate's body, lustfully, but mentally decides against pursuing her—not when she's got Lorna or will eventually have her again.

"Drugs…Well, _I_ didn't do them. I helped a drug dealer sell them and steal about a hundred grand," she replies.

"Oh, looks like you and Nichols got somethin' in common already," Boo speaks up, a smirk on her face as she stares between the two women. "She's a heroin addict."

Rolling her eyes, Nicky kicks her leg under the table. " _Was_ a heroin addict…I haven't touched in two years now, Boo!"

Alex gives her a friendly smile, "Good for you."

"Thanks," Nicky mutters, finishing the off the pasta. She focuses her attention on the silent brunette beside her, who she notices has hardly touched her food – something that's been happening a lot more recently. Stroking her hand softly underneath the table, she gives her a look, "How come ya haven't really touched the pasta, kid? Aren't Italians known for their love of it? Is it not up to your standards?" She lightly jokes.

Lorna twirls her fork around the noodles, shaking her head. "No, of course that's not it. It's great. Just ya know, full from breakfast." She smiles—a bit too enthusiastically—up at her.

The redhead folds her arms over her chest as she stares at her. "You barely touched that, too, kid," she whispers, squeezing her hand even tighter under the table.

Irritated, Lorna grabs a huge forkful of the noodles and shoves it in her mouth to shut Nicky up. She continues to eat the rest of it in the same huge quantities, providing amusement for the other women at her table. "There!" Her voice shouts as she points to her empty tray, "Are you fucking happy now, Nicky?!" She doesn't wait for a response before she runs off—throwing the tray in the trash and exiting the cafeteria.

"What crawled up her ass?" Boo chuckles.

Nicky lifts her middle finger up at her. "Shut the fuck up, Boo! She's entitled to have a bad day, ya know!?"

"Every day, Nichols? That girl is wackier than a room full of psych patients!" The short-haired woman retorts, getting up from the table; she gives one last glance to Alex and says, "Maybe stay away from Morello—don't wanna catch the crazies, ay?"

Nicky's face turns red with rage, glaring darkly at Boo. "Get the fuck outta here! Stop fucking talking shit about Lorna! None of that's true!" She growls at her, pleased to see her finally leave the room.

"So, I take it she and Lorna aren't good friends?" Alex genuinely wonders, once Boo's out of earshot.

Nicky shakes her head. "Boo's just a fucking piece of shit. She's bitter because she couldn't get Lorna to have sex with her, that's all her deal is. Don't fucking listen to her about Lorna—she's one of the sweetest people in here. She's a good friend to have."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Contains mild smut (non-explicit), hardcore teasing, and fluff.

Lorna walks around the quiet dorm, noticing Nicky's sitting on her bed with earphones in her ears. She slowly enters her cube and makes her way to sit beside her. "Nicky?" Her voice softly calls out as she reaches to hold one of her hands, "I just—I'm sorry for getting all mad earlier…I didn't mean a yell at ya."

Sliding her headphones out, Nicky turns her attention to the brunette and gives her a warm smile. "Don't worry about it, kid. We're all good." She wraps an arm loosely around her shoulder, pressing a kiss on top of her head. "Just promise me that you'll eat more, okay?"

"Sure, Nicky," the shorter inmate replies—only half-honestly—and snuggles closer into her warmth. She softly brushes the tips of her fingers against the skin of Nicky's neck. "You have such soft skin, ya know?"

A smirk forms on the redhead's face; she wraps her arms tight around her, running her hand through her hair. "Is that so, kid?" Her voice lowly asks into Lorna's ear. She stands up off the bed, pulling the brunette with her, and starts leading her out of there. "Let's go somewhere private—would hate for there to be an interruption," she winks down at her.

* * *

Behind the organ on the chapel's stage, Nicky kneels over Lorna—her hands softly caressing her body as she peers lustfully into her eyes. "God, Lorna; you're so fucking beautiful," her voice rasps while she trails her fingers slowly down her body. She delicately begins to slide down her pants, never looking away from her face. "This is okay with you right, kid? I don't wanna scare you or anything…after the shit ya've been through, ya know?"

Lorna smiles, reaching down to pat her hand. "Course' it's fine, Nicky. I told ya how wonderful it felt with ya, don't ya remember?" She squeezes her hand warmly.

"Believe me, I remember. I just wanna be 100% sure that you're good with this—I don't wanna hurt ya or anything," she softly replies, throwing her pants aside and stroking her upper thighs.

Her hands venture up Lorna's thighs to her genital area, caressing her as they move. Slowly, she inserts two of her fingers in the brunette and rubs the inside of her. She pushes them deeper and deeper, adding pressure while continuing to rub her.

"Mm," Lorna whimpers, her body overwhelmed with a strong orgasm. Her legs shake with the intense feeling; her hands clench into fists at her sides. She peers up at the redhead, her face glowing with desperation, "Please-please, faster!"

Nicky smirks and rubs faster inside her. She uses her other hand to feel up the upper portion of Lorna's body—caressing her skin in tender circles. "Anything to make ya feel good, babe," her voice huskily responds as she continues the pleasurable motion inside of the brunette's genitals. She grins at the sound of Lorna's moaning out her name as another deep orgasm courses through her body.

"Yes, _yes,_ _YES!_ " Lorna cries out, her back arching from the intense out amount of pleasure. "God, Nicky; you really are good at this!"

Chuckling, Nicky slowly takes her fingers out of her and proceeds to wrap her arms protectively around the naked woman's waist as she lies on the cold ground beside her. "You make it easy with how fast you come, kid. You're the first woman—I've ever fucked—to orgasm in only five minutes! I mean, I'm really fucking impressed with that, kid."

Lorna very faintly flinches at the word fucked—her eyes cast down to the floor. Is that what she is to people? Just someone they can fuck and call it a day? She sighs but refuses to say anything about it. "Well…ya know I guess I got experience from all the times me and Christopher had sex…I don't know."

Nicky strokes her hair softly, wrapping her arms tighter around her. She notices the slight weariness in her tone and shame in her eyes. "Hey, what's the matter? Why ya look so down, kid? I thought you enjoyed the sex—oh _fuck_ , did I hurt you?!" Her lips press warmly against Lorna's forehead as she peers worriedly in to her eyes.

"No, of course you didn't…" Lorna smiles—one that doesn't quite make it to her eyes—and snuggles into her warmth. She presses a light kiss to her neck, "That was the best sex I've ever had, Nicky. I just—I don't know if I'll be as good as you…You are the first woman I've ever done this with so I-I don't know how to do it. And I—I don't wanna disappoint your or nothin'."

"You could never disappoint me, kid; please don't think that way," Nicky warmly says, staring softly down at Lorna. She cups her head in her hands, kissing the top of it, and lays it onto her chest. "You don't have to do anything right now. When you're comfortable enough, just tell me. You don't need to rush into things you're not ready for, baby."

* * *

Red gives a knowing stare to her daughter as she stirs the pot of soup for that evening's dinner. "You've done it, haven't you?" She asks, wagging her finger at her.

Arching her eyebrows, Nicky looks at her in confusion. "I've done what, ma?" She goes to stick her finger in the pot for a taste but has her hand harshly slapped away by the Russian chef. Huffing out a disgruntled breath, she defensively crosses her arms over her chest and glares at her mother.

"Had sex with Lorna is what you've done," Red observantly says. "I can tell by your upbeat mood. But you better just make sure you're not just having sex with her to have sex with her. She's been abused—don't forget that, Nicky. She's in a delicate state and can be easily broken. Now I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt her, but I also know that you have a high sex drive."

Nicky groans, slamming her hand on the wall. " _Shit_ ," she snarls, "I fucking pretty much made her think I'm just fucking her! Goddamn it, ma, why do you have to be so fucking sensible? Where were ya when I said that? No wonder she looked so damn—I can't even find the word for it. I guess hurt would sum up that look in her eyes. But she didn't even say anything about it—God, she thinks I'm just using her! I gotta go figure out how to make this right…see ya, ma." She waves, hurriedly running out of the kitchen.

* * *

Morning sickness hits Lorna hard as she holds her hand over her mouth and runs into a bathroom stall. She doesn't even care to lock the stall—the nausea overpowering her entire body. She heaves heavily over the toilet, not able to stop it from coming up. Tears run down her cheeks while she continues to vomit.

"Oh, look," Boo's voice taunts, staring through the doorway while passing by the stall. "Little Morello is anorexic—what a fuckin' surprise!" She chuckles, giving a spiteful look to her.

Lorna feels more tears gathering in her eyes and in-between heaving she quietly says, "Please leave me alone. That's not true at all!"

Boo rolls her eyes. "Yeah fucking right—you don't even fucking eat and you throw up all the time—you fucking anorexic string bean. I bet you cut yourself too, huh? You are one messed up woman, Morello."

"Jesus fucking Christ—just leave the poor girl alone!" A deep voice calls out from near the sinks.

Boo sticks her middle finger up at the distressed Lorna and gives an irritated glance to the woman who called her out. "What the fuck do you care about, huh Alex—you barely even know her! She's a fucking mental case – _look at her_!" She shakes her head and angrily leaves the restroom.

The black-haired woman slowly approaches the stall, looking worriedly at the heaving Lorna. "Are you okay? Want me to get Nicky?"

Lorna finally feels it easing up as she flushes the toilet and backs away from it. She looks over at the other woman and abruptly shakes her head. "No, no—do not get Nicky. I'm fine. Just got the flu or somethin'." She goes to the sink to wash herself off.

"Are ya sure that's all it is, Lorna? I mean you kinda don't seem to eat much…and you do get nauseous quite a bit. I know I don't really know you yet, but those things are very noticeable." Alex genuinely states, observing as the petite woman meekly washes her hands.

"I'm not fucking anorexic! Just because I get nauseous don't mean I'm automatically that! God why is everyone fucking making assumptions about my fucking health!? It ain't anyone's business what the fucking hell I do anyway," Lorna hisses. She feels a rage boiling up in her as she punches her first harshly into the mirror—causing a crack to form in the middle of it.

Alex rushes over to her, gently pulling her away from the mirror. She grabs her hands and examines them for any cuts or scratches from the mirror. "You need to calm down; you'll get yourself in trouble if you don't control your anger," she softly says, looking her firmly in the eyes. "What's the problem, Lorna? Why are you so angry? People only make assumptions because they're worried about you. They don't do it to be mean—well except for Boo, apparently. That was just cruel of her to say that kinda shit to you—that's not something to joke about."

"I'm trying to hide a pregnancy," she mumbles in a voice so quiet that Alex must strain her ears to hear.

"You're _pregnant_? Why are you keeping it a secret? What are ya gonna do when you start looking like you're gonna pop?"

Lorna sighs, staring up at her in defeat. "Because…it's not anyone's business. And you better not say a word to anyone—specially Nicky and Red. Please just keep this to yourself…can you do that?"

Alex gives her an uneasy glance, crossing her arms over her chest. "But isn't Nicky your friend? And Red is kinda like your mom, right? I think they would wanna know something like this, so you know, they could help you…"

"Please just don't say anything! I'll tell them when I'm ready," Lorna pleadingly says, her eyes peering desperately up into the taller woman's blue ones.

"Okay, fine. I won't say a word to anyone, Lorna. How far along are you? You know you need to at least tell a CO or somethin' so you can get prenatal vitamins."

Lorna curtly nods her head. "They already know. I'm about six weeks now…maybe seven. The doctor here gave me a test—last month—and it came back positive."

Six weeks? Alex arches her eyebrows in shock and confusion at that answer. "Six or seven weeks? I thought you said you've been in here for three months? How is that possible? Unless—" she lowers her voice to a whisper, "did you have sex with one of the COs?"

The brunette's eyes darken as her hands slightly shake against the rim of the sink. "It-it wasn't really sex—he forced me to do it. And Caputo found us in the closet…found him on top of me and he yanked him off and fired him. So, lucky for you – you'll never have to meet him."

"Oh, shit – I'm sorry, Lorna," the taller woman responds, her eyes filled with sympathy. "That's fucking horrible that a CO would do that…"

Lorna sighs, looking down at the floor. "Yeah, well, at least he's gone now."

* * *

Nicky finds Tricia sitting in their cube—looking through a magazine—and plops down beside her. "Trish, I need your help." She says, her brown eyes peering urgently across at the blonde.

Sighing, Tricia tosses her magazine behind her bed – onto the night stand – and folds her arms over her chest. She looks back at the older inmate. "With what, Nicky?"

"I mighta fucked things up with Lorna—not entirely but kinda a little bit…and I need you to help me figure out how to fix things," Nicky defeatedly replies, tapping her fingers against the medal of the bed.

"What the fuck d'ya do?"

Nicky slightly tilts her head with a sigh. "I kinda maybe implied that she's just another one of those women I'm fucking…"

The blonde rolls her eyes and gives her a hard stare. "Well, _you_ needa figure out some things for yourself…Are you just fucking her to fuck her or are you fucking her because you like her?"

Biting her lip, Nicky slightly nods. "Hmm—good point, Trish. I guess if I don't want her to think I'm fucking her just like the other parade of women I fucked than I like her— _of course I like her_ , she's my friend—what the fuck, Tricia? You're just making this more fucking complicated than it needs to be!" She groans, slamming her first to the wall behind her.

" _I'm_ making this more complicated?" Tricia raises an eyebrow at her. "This is _your_ problem—I'm just offering my advice! Friends don't fuck each other, Nicky. What kind of idiot don't know that?! Do you like her like the way I like Mercy or the way Red secretly likes Mr. Healy? That's what I fucking meant you idiot! God you're so thick headed!"

Shaking her head angrily, Nicky gets up off the bed and makes her way to the exit. She glares at her before leaving. "Well, your advice is shit! _Thanks for nothing!_ " She sticks up her middle finger while walking out of their shared cube.

* * *

Nicky comes to Lorna's cube—who isn't there—and instead is sarcastically greeted by Boo. "Lookin' for your anorexic girlfriend, Nichols? Might wanna check the bathroom—she tends to like vomiting in there!"

"You better fuckin' shut the hell up about Lorna! I'm sicka your shit, Boo! That sweet woman has been through fucking hell these last few months, why the fuck do you need to make things worse for her? What did that poor kid do to you, huh? What—are you fucking mad because she wouldn't have sex with you, is that it?" Nicky growls at her, her brown eyes dark with rage.

Boo rolls her eyes. "Pst. Please, Nichols…you only care about her because you fucking want sex with her too. So quit tryin' to be some saint here. And she is fucking anorexic—have you seen how thin she is? And every time I'm in the bathroom, there she is puking her guts out in a stall. I ain't just makin' this shit up. It's observable."

* * *

Anger boiling, Nicky finds Lorna wandering the hall and grabs a bit harshly onto her hand as she yanks her into the janitor's closet. She crosses her arms over her chest, looking firmly down at her. "We need to talk, kid. Why the fuck are you throwing up in the bathroom every fuckin' day?! What the fuck, Lorna?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Lorna feels her legs shake underneath her. She stares apprehensively up at the taller woman. "Why the fuck is everyone in my fucking business?! Who the fucking hell cares what the fuck I do?! It's no one's business but my own! Everyone needs to just fucking shut up and leave me alone—I can't deal with this damn shit anymore!" Hot tears start running down her cheeks as she slams her hand repeatedly into the wall.

" _Fuck!_ Lorna," Nicky softens her voice, guilt immediately rising at the words she just spoke to the broken woman. She wraps her arms tight around the brunette's waist, pulling her away from the wall and against her chest. "I'm sorry, baby…I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

Her lips press warmly to Lorna's forehead as she holds her in a protective embrace, "I'm just worried about you, kid. You gotta tell me what's wrong! You're getting too thin, and you refuse to eat during meals…please, _Lorna_ —love, tell me what's wrong; I wanna help you."

"I already said I'll fuckin' eat more…could we drop this? I don't wanna talk about it," Lorna mumbles, still filling a huge amount of anger bubbling within her.

Nicky cups her hands arounds the other's face, peering softly in to her eyes. "Are you throwing up every day? Answer me this question, kid. And don't fucking lie. Please, _I need to know_!"

"I've only thrown up a few times the last two days…Just got the flu or somethin', it's nothin' serious. So, just drop it."

"You expect me to believe that?" Nicky gives a firm look, tightening her hold on Lorna. "Give me one good reason that I shouldn't believe you're forcing yourself to do it."

Lorna gulps, staring uneasily up at her. "Cause' I hate throwing up…why the hell would I wanna do it on purpose? It's nasty! I just got the flu, that's fucking it. _I swear to God!_ " She groans while rolling her eyes.

Nicky sighs. "You better be telling the truth, kid. _And_ you better keep your promise on eating more."

* * *

That night at dinner, Lorna makes sure to shove the food into her mouth – one bite after another. She refuses to have Nicky suspicious of her; not now, when she's still digesting the fact that she's pregnant with another rapist's baby. It sickens her to be carrying that officer's baby inside her but she knows there's no way she could ever go through with an abortion or giving her own child up – not after going through the death of Emilio.

"Oh, so now you're eating? You gonna throw it up later though, right Morello?" Boo rudely taunts, mockingly sticking her fingers down her throat.

Nicky slides an arm protectively around Lorna's shoulder and gives a dark glare towards Boo. "Leave her the fuck alone! I'm fucking tired of you tormenting the shit out of her, Boo—it's none a your business what's going on with her…and it's fucking rude of you to joke around about things like that!"

Sitting on the other side of the brunette, Alex nods her head while taking a sip of the juice in her plastic cup. "I saw Boo tormenting her in the bathroom earlier about it, too…and you're absolutely right, Nicky—joking about that kinda stuff is plain cruel."

Curtly turning her head to stare at the black-haired woman, Lorna gives her a pleading look and silently mouths to her, "Do not say a word about what I told you."

Alex lets out a quiet sigh but nods her head.

Hearing that causes more anger to rise within Nicky. She shakes her head fiercely as she stares darkly ahead at Boo. "What the fuck do you have against Lorna?! If you're gonna keep fucking messin' with her, then you better find another table to sit at! Because you will not be doing that here—I'll tell Red to kick you outta here." She flips her off out of spite.

"Fuck all of you anyway," Boo shouts, getting up from the table. She sticks her own middle finger up at them before heading to another table to sit at.

"Finally, now we can eat in peace," Tricia says from the other side of the table as she chows down on her sandwich.

Yoga Jones nods beside her. "Her attitude was starting to turn this table into a negative entity." She glances across to Lorna, a genuine smile on her face. "It _is_ good to see you eating again, though, Morello. Must have had that nasty stomach virus, yes?"

Lorna smiles back with a nod. "Yeah and it's finally startin' to ease up."

"Good; I'm glad to hear that!" The spiked-blonde inmate kindly responds, sipping on her glass of water. "I hope to see you back in yoga class tomorrow—and you too, Vause; you did really well with all the stretches today!"

"Course' I'll be there tomorrow; I really enjoy yoga," Lorna bobs her head enthusiastically with a gleaming grin on her face.

Nicky can't help the smile that forms on her face as she stares at the brunette beside her—the pure happiness shining off her face fills her heart with a warm sensation. She gives a gentle squeeze to her shoulder, slightly pulling her closer.

* * *

After her shift of driving the van around with the new appointed CO, Lorna happily walks down to the rec-room for yoga class. She grabs a mat off the pile and places it in her usual spot. A few minutes later, Alex shows up beside her with her own mat; she gives her a kind smile and quick wave.

"Great day for yoga, isn't it?" Lorna grins, copying the stretches that Yoga Jones is doing in the front of the room.

Alex nods with a friendly smile. "Definitely," she responds, doing the same stretches on her own mat. "How's the morning sickness today? You seem pretty chipper this morning, so it must not be as bad." Her voice hushed so that no one else can hear them.

Lorna gives a half shrug, "I haven't really had the time to dwell on it…so that makes it easier to deal with and the yoga helps, ya know?"

"Good to hear. You gonna tell Nicky today? I don't think keeping something like this from her is doing any good for you…and once you get later into the pregnancy, it will be much harder for you hide it…your stomach will kinda give it away, Lorna."

" _No._ I said I'll tell her when I'm ready! Please don't push it. No…I'll make sure that doesn't happen—can't get bigger if I don't eat, right?" Lorna nonchalantly says, looking behind her at the older woman.

Alex stares sternly at her, shaking her head disapprovingly. "Starving yourself to keep your pregnancy a secret is a terrible idea—not just for the baby but for _you_ as well. Why the hell do you feel the need to go through all this trouble when you can just tell her the truth?"

Looking down at her shoes, Lorna quietly mumbles, "It's-it's my problem to deal with…she doesn't need to be burdened with it." She finishes the last few yoga poses Jones shows them and then quickly puts the mat back and exits the room.

* * *

Nicky gets a glimpse of Lorna's sitting in the rec-room – her eyes eagerly glued to the TV – and decides to go join her. She plops herself in the chair beside her, wrapping her arm loosely around her shoulder. "What're'ya watchin', kid?" Her fingertips brush softly against the petite woman's arms

Lorna gives a warm smile, turning to stare at the redhead. "Just a cute little show on animal planet. It's about little kittens and how much they grow their first eight weeks—I just _adore_ the sweet little furballs!" She points to the screen—showing a close up on a fluffy grey-tabby cat—and squeals, " _Look,_ Nicky! That one's my absolute favorite! She's so tiny and fluffy; little Pepper is her name."

Chuckling, Nicky wraps her arm tighter around her and drops a warm kiss to her head. "You know who I think is cute?" She lowly whispers against the shorter woman's ear, running her fingers up and down her arms.

"Who?" Lorna enthusiastically asks, her brown eyes twinkling as she stares up at her.

Nicky smiles, her heart melting at the purity of Lorna's actions. " _You_ , kid," she gives her a tender squeeze as well as a soft kiss on the cheek. "You are the cutest woman in the world, Lorna. I fuckin' mean it. You are just too damn cute—even cuter than those little furry fuzzballs on that TV screen right now." She runs her hand tenderly through the other's dark hair.

"Nah, you're just sayin' that, Nicky," Lorna laughs it off but can't help the huge smile that forms on her face or the fuzzy feeling the warms the inside of her body.

"Hell no, I'm not just saying that! _You are absolutely_ the cutest woman ever, kid. There's no denying it—you get so happy over the simplest thing, it's fucking adorable. _You're_ adorable," the redhead firmly replies, cupping Lorna's face in her hands as she caresses her cheeks delicately. She presses another warm kiss to her cheek and then lays her head back against her shoulder.


	10. Chapter 10

Her arms crossed over her chest, Red stares Lorna over with an attentive eye. "How far along are you?" She questions, her accent much thicker than usual.

Lorna uncomfortably gulps as she turns from the sink to stare at the Russian chef. She's only twelve weeks into the pregnancy, how could she be showing so soon? And with all the vomiting she's done, she doesn't believe she could have gained that much weight. "With what?" She tries to play it off, not wanting anyone more to know about her pregnancy.

"Don't play dumb with me, Lorna," Red warns, giving a curt shake of the head. "I can sense a pregnancy from a mile away. How far are you? Ten—eleven weeks? This is from Mendez's nasty rape, I'm sure…that sick, disturbed, piece of shit…"

Looking down at her shoes, Lorna sighs and quietly mumbles, "Twelve."

Red walks closer to her, placing a comforting hand onto her shoulder. She peers in to her eyes with a slight concern seeping through her own. "And how long have you known about your pregnancy?"

"Since I went to see the doctor here…he gave me a pregnancy test and it came back positive," the petite Italian casually responds. She nervously fiddles with her fingers—displeased that the older inmate knows about her secret now as well.

"So, you decided to keep it a secret for what reason?" Red stares sternly down at her.

Lifting her head to face her, Lorna sighs and shrugs. "I just figured it's my business and no one else should be bothered with it… Besides, what can anyone do? It's my pregnancy, my baby—my problem to deal with. The whole prison don't need to know about it! I don't _want_ them to know about it!"

"You are family, Lorna; you should have told Nicky and I about this! We want to help you through things like this; you shouldn't have to deal with this all on your own… We care about you—we _want_ to help you! You think Nicky and I would tell anyone about it? Because we sure as hell wouldn't. You're right in saying that it is your business…but there are things in life that one person can't go through alone—being pregnant in prison with a rapist's baby is one of those."

Lorna crosses her arms defiantly over her chest. "What is having you and Nicky know about it gonna do?" She shakes her head angrily, staring down at the cold floor, "I'm fucking pregnant in prison…there's nothing you two can do to help me—you can't undo the pregnancy or change the rules here to allow babies…so what's the fucking point?!"

Red pulls the angry brunette into a comforting embrace, running her hand soothingly through her dark hair. "The _point_ is so that you don't have to go through it alone. You're pregnant _in prison_ , Lorna; you shouldn't be dealing with something like that on your own. You need moral support!"

* * *

Walking around the dorms, Lorna peeks into Nicky's cube to see if she is there. With the bushy-redhead not in sight, she is instead greeted by the other's bunkmate. "Oh, uh, hi Tricia," she says, looking over at the empty bed on the other side, "How are you?"

Tricia chuckles, peeping her eyes up over the book she's reading. "Hey, Morello. Just enjoyin' myself a good book over here—I assume you're looking for Nicky, yeah?" She flips a page in the book, still looking up at the brunette.

Lorna slightly nods her head. "Do you maybe know where she is or anything? I got somethin' important to tell her."

"She's probably in either the library or chapel—her two favorite places to listen to music."

* * *

 

Lorna wanders into the library, searching the aisles for her redheaded best friend. She smiles when she sees the wild-haired woman lying on the floor with headphones in her ears. Quietly, she walks over to her—giving a gentle tap to her shoulder, "Nicky…"

Hearing her name, Nicky opens her eyes to stare up into the brunette's brown ones. She shuts off the music and sits up, a warm smile spreading across her face. "Hey, kid," she says, pulling the smaller woman down to sit on her lap. Her hand runs softly through the waves of Lorna's brown hair.

"Look, I got somethin' to tell ya…it's not bad or nothin', at least _I_ don't think it is." She starts off, her eyes peering nervously up at the redhead.

Nicky's arms wrap tight around Lorna's waist, pulling her closer to her body. Her fingertips trail softly up and down the outlines of the other's cheeks. "Go ahead, kid—what's up?" She looks softly into her eyes, cupping her face in her hands.

Letting out a long breathy sigh, Lorna glances down at her hands. "So, uh, ya know how Mendez kinda r-raped me and all that?"

"Not just _kinda_ —he fully fucking raped you, Lorna!" The redhead infuriatingly interrupts, her eyes sternly staring into hers as she tightens her hold on her.

The brunette slowly nods her head and continues, "Yeah, well, uh—I'm pregnant… When I went to see the doctor here, he gave me a test and it-it came back positive."

"Lorna," Nicky softly says, stroking her cheeks tenderly, "That was three months ago…why the fuck did you not say anything sooner?! Why would you keep that from me and Red? Jesus kid—did you think we wouldn't care or something?! That fucking explains everything though…why you were puking all the time and refusing to eat—you did that just to hide your pregnancy?"

"I just – I didn't want to bother the two of you with it. It's-it's my problem, why should anyone else be dragged into it?" She looks down and nods to the other question, guilt rising inside. "Yes, I figured if I didn't eat than I wouldn't gain weight—at least not a noticeable amount. The puking was—and still is—from morning sickness."

Hearing that breaks the taller woman's heart. She pulls her closer so that Lorna's head is resting directly on her chest, her big eyes stare down at her with a very clear tenderness to them. "Lorna, how could you even think that kinda shit? You are fucking family to Red and I— _your_ problems are _our_ problems, kid. I've told ya before that you will not be suffering through anything alone in here and I meant that—we are taking care of you whether you want us to or not."

Her lips warmly press against the petite Italian's forehead, "Why would you go through all that fuckin' trouble to keep it hidden? You coulda harmed yourself by not eating enough—well and the baby too… You are really somethin' else, Lorna; you would put yourself through hell just to not "bother" the people who care about you." Nicky shakes her head sadly, stroking a hand through the other's hair.

"I'm sorry—I just don't need the entire prison to know about this. I don't want anyone else to know. It's my business. It's my baby!"

Nicky nods, kissing her softly on the head. "Neither of us will say a word, kid. But ya can't keep it a secret too long—you're gonna start showing and people will notice, baby. They're gonna figure it out. Ya gotta realize that. If you're worried people are gonna judge you or something because of your pregnancy, that's a bunch a bullshit! I'm not gonna let anyone say a damn word to you about it; I promise, kid."

Lorna sighs. "Well, I'm not saying a word to anyone else. If they figure it out on their own, whatever, but they ain't hearin' it from me." She peeps her eyes up to glance into the older woman's, "Do you think it's weird that I wanna keep my baby and take care of it? I know so many people would be disgusted to have a rapist's baby inside them…but it's just an innocent baby, ya know? He didn't do anything wrong."

"I think it's very strong of you to wanna keep the baby and raise it—you are one of the strongest people I've ever met, kid. You've gone through more rapes than anyone and you're still willing to take care of the babies you were forced to have; that's not something we see every day. You should be real proud a yourself, Lorna," Nicky replies, a gentle smile on her face as she stares down at her brunette best friend.

With a small smile of her own, Lorna wraps her arms around the taller woman's neck—embracing her graciously. "I doubt I'm the first woman to keep a rape-baby, but your words do mean so much to me, Nicky. _You_ mean so much to me…" She presses her lips softly against the skin of the other's cheek.

"Aw shit, kid—is this turning in to 'we need to go to the chapel' time?" Nicky playfully jokes, her hands cupping around Lorna's face. She caresses her skin tenderly, peering heavily into her brown eyes.

"I wish," Lorna smiles, running her hand through Nicky's bush of thick curls. "But I gotta go drive the van soon, so we'll have to wait til' later for the chapel."

Smirking, Nicky nods her head and gives a tender kiss to the top of her head. "Dammit. Well, we'll just have to meet there later this evening—now won't we?"

* * *

Plopping down in the chair in Red's office, Nicky gives her a hard stare. She folds her arms angrily over her chest, "That fucking piece of shit Mendez got her pregnant, ma!" Her tone filled with rage—it repels her to know that Lorna will always have a reminder of what that man did to her.

Taking off her reading glasses, Red stares across at her daughter and nods her head. "Yes, Nicky, I know. I figured it out this morning when I saw her in the bathroom—she planned to keep this to herself; didn't think having anyone know would do anything to help her."

"You figured it out? That means if you hadn't a she'd never of said a thing to either of us… Jesus Christ! Why the fuck does she like suffering in silence?! Why, ma?!" Desperation clearly showing through the expression on Nicky's face while she gazes over at the older woman.

Red reaches over to grab a hold of the redhead's hands and strokes them soothingly. "Some people are more reserved than others, my dear Nicky, and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think she likes to suffer alone; she just doesn't feel the need to have her personal life broadcasted around this place."

Rolling her eyes, Nicky exhales a deep breath. "Well, I'm not letting her go through this shit alone anymore. She's already been through way too much in the last several fucking months!" She slams her hands angrily against the table.

* * *

Once Lorna gets back to the prison – after an hour of van duties – she's called down to the visitation area to be greeted by her older sister. She gives a kind smile to her, walking over and pulling her in for a tight embrace. "It's good to see ya," she says, squeezing her arms around the taller brunette's neck.

Franny smiles back, giving her a gentle squeeze before releasing the hug and sitting down across from her. "Good to see ya too, sis. You look really good—like you're finally takin' care of yourself again. I'm glad to see that. And you're starting to show a little bit; have ya told anyone about it?"

"Gee, thanks Fran," Lorna sarcastically responds, a displeased frown on her face. "Yes, I told ya I would…but I mean I'm not having the whole fucking place know about it!"

Reaching across the table, the older woman takes a hold of Lorna's hand and gives it a soothing squeeze. "As long as one or two other people know, that's good enough. I just don't want ya to go through this alone, Lorn, okay?" She stares concerningly into her eyes, a subtle firmness lying within her own.

Lorna slowly nods with a sigh. "I won't, Fran," she replies, giving a small smile to assure her sister. "I guess the good thing is that there's still all the baby stuff from Emilio…at least I hope you guys didn't throw his stuff out…"

"We haven't touched the nursery—none of us can bare to go in there, Lorna. Toni asks all the time where the baby is and it gets harder each time that I have to explain to him that his cousin's gone. Ya sure ya wanna use his stuff for the new baby? I mean ya don't even know what it is yet—what if it's a girl?"

"I'm sorry—I haven't even thought of how hard it is for you and your kids…He _was your_ nephew, of course it's hard for you!" Lorna fills a pang of guilt wax in her chest. She grabs Franny's hand and squeezes it tight, looking sadly across at her, "I-I don't know. I mean the crib—it could work for whatever gender and it's not like I'm gonna throw any of his stuff out! If I have a girl then we'll have to buy her new clothes…but there's no way in hell I will ever throw Emilio's things away—that's all I have to remember him by, Franny!"

The older woman sighs but nods her head – knowing she's right. "Well, we'll leave his nursery as is and when ya get outta here you can do what ya want with it. This new little one can share a room with my youngest for now."

* * *

At dinner that evening, Lorna decides to inform the rest of the family about her pregnancy—at least that way, she'll have less people to fool. She looks at Nicky, who's sitting beside her already chowing down on the overcooked hamburger, and gives a gentle tug on her arm. "I'm kinda thinkin' about telling the rest of your family about my pregnancy."

" _Our_ family, kid," Nicky tenderly corrects, wrapping a protective arm around her shoulder. She presses a small kiss down to her head. "And I think that's a smart idea. Ya don't have to be so secretive now, and none of them will judge you for it—everyone knows what happened."

Lorna just smiles and nods, taking a bite of a French fry as they wait for the rest of the women to join them. When they are all seated, and eating – a few minutes later – she clears her throat to get their attention. "There's somethin' I'd like to tell ya guys," she nervously starts off, staring at them as all their eyes on her. "I—I'm kinda pregnant and uh if all a ya could just keep it to yourselves, that'd be real appreciated."

Nicky's arm wraps tighter around her shoulder, giving her a comforting squeeze as she looks at the three other women with a stern gleam in her big eyes.

"Shit—is this from what that Mendez did to ya, Morello?" Tricia questions, staring sympathetically at her.

Lorna sadly nods. "Yeah—I'm twelve weeks pregnant and it's all thanks to him." She stuffs another fry into her mouth, closing her eyes for a moment.

Yoga Jones feels a pang of empathy creep up inside her as she looks over at the Italian with sorrow in her eyes. "I'm so sorry to hear this, Morello. That's awful that you have to deal with this pregnancy. What are you planning to do? If you don't mind my asking, of course."

Swallowing a huge mouthful, Lorna smiles kindly at her and shakes her head. "No, I don't mind," she replies while crunching down on another fry. "I plan to keep my baby, of course. My sister and brother will take care of him until I get outta here. He's my baby—regardless of how he was made and there's no way in hell I'd ever kill him or give him to strangers. Especially not after what happened to Emilio…there's no way I can lose another baby!"

Tricia's eyebrows arch, "You're having a boy? Isn't twelve weeks kinda early to find out a baby's gender?"

"I hope so but I don't know for sure—I just don't wanna call my baby an it," the brunette answers, her eyes peering down at her stomach as if to see her baby's face.

"I think that's very brave and strong of you to do, Morello. Few women would be able to raise a baby from rape," Yoga Jones sincerely says.

Sitting on the other side of Lorna, Alex nods her head in agreement with the yoga instructor. "Jones is right; you're one brave woman to be able to raise a rapist's baby," she says, a sympathetic smile on her face. "But, uh, who's Emilio?"

The whole table becomes eerily quiet as everyone's eyes on Lorna. Nicky pulls her closer, running a hand soothingly through her hair in an effort to keep her from getting too upset.

Lorna bites her lip and stares at the confused woman beside her. "Emilio is— _was_ —my son. He died in a car accident a few months ago and he-he was only eight months old!" A few tears fall from her eyes, landing on her tray. She shakes her head, gathers the tray, and tearfully leaves the cafeteria—not in the mood to socialize anymore.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry I asked," the black-haired inmate says, giving an apologetic stare to Nicky.

Nicky shakes her head as she gathers her own things. "It's not your fault—you didn't know," she assures her before leaving to go find her distressed best friend.

* * *

The sound of familiar crying brings Nicky to the chapel. She follows it to the back where she sees Lorna curled up on the floor behind the organ. Her heart soars at the sight. She gently approaches her, crouching down beside as she pulls her off the floor and into her arms. "It's okay, kid—calm down. I've got ya," she soothes into her ear, pressing a tender kiss to the top of her head. "I know it's still hard for ya to talk about your son; she didn't mean to upset you, though; she just didn't know who he was."

Lorna slowly nods her head, clinging desperately onto the redhead. Her cries fade into sniffles as she looks up at her, "I-I know that…it's just so painful to even hear or say his name. You have no idea how horrible it feels to lose a child— _a baby_. It's the worst thing I've ever hadda go through, Nicky!"

Stroking a hand through her hair, Nicky sighs and looks softly down into her eyes. She nods. "I'm so sorry, Lorna—you don't deserve to go through this…you really fuckin' don't, kid," she lets her fingers caress tenderly against the short woman's cheeks. "I can't imagine what pain you're in, sweetie. But I'm here for ya and I'm gonna take care of you."

Her eyes puffy and red now from crying, Lorna sighs as she holds on tighter to Nicky. She looks up at her, peering deeply into her brown eyes. "I-I'm sorry, Nicky…We were supposed to come here to have sex tonight—not this. I'm sorry! Please don't hate me," she begs.

"Lorna, don't fucking apologize for feeling sad about your son! I understand. I'd rather you cry and let your emotions come out than have you hold them in and blow up one day," the taller woman firmly states, pulling her closer to her body. She cups her hands around Lorna's face and stares warmly into her eyes, shaking her head sadly. "Your well-being is more important than sex right now, kid. We can have sex whenever, it doesn't matter to me. _What_ matters to me is you and how you're feeling. _Don't hate you_ —why the fuck would _I_ hate you, baby?!"

Nicky shakes her head even more as she realizes what makes her friend think that. She runs her hand through Lorna's hair and continues to stare softly into her eyes, "Why don't we go back to my bunk and lie down for a while? You could probably use a little nap, don't ya think kid?" She gently questions while standing up off the ground with her arms still wrapped around Lorna's waist.

* * *

Once they make it to Nicky's cube, she brings the brunette over to her bed and lays her down it. She gently gets in beside her and scoops her on top of her so that Lorna's head rests right on the middle of her chest. Her hands run soothing circles around her back as her lips press warmly against her head in a tender kiss. She pulls the blanket up to wrap carefully around them. "Sleep will do ya and the baby some good, kid," she says against her ear, tracing her fingers down her cheeks, "And besides, you're _supposed_ to be napping once a day anyway now that you're in the second trimester. It's good for mood swings and helps relieve morning sickness."

Lorna stares up at her with a small smile. "And how do ya know all this, Nicky? Ya don't seem like the pregnancy expert type," she lightly laughs, but wraps her arms around her neck.

That smile melts Nicky's heart. She kisses her softly on the head while rubbing soothing circles around on her back. "I may have read a couple books while you were out driving the van. I was curious, ya know?"

"I find that to be real sweet of ya," the brunette beams a smile before a huge yawn overtakes her.

Nicky laughs as she pulls her closer and strokes her hair, "Ya better stop your yakkin' and get some sleep, kid. You're wearing yourself out!"

* * *

Early the next morning as Lorna is taking her shower, a red liquid starts to mix with the running water and immediately freaks her out. She timidly tilts her head down to see what's going on and practically screams when she sees the amount of blood coming out of her. Her hands shakily turn off the water, reaching up to the railing for her towel—she wraps herself in it and steps out of the stall. Weakly, she makes her way over to the bench and sits down, trying to gather herself. She feels light-headed and faint—blood keeps coming from down below, pooling around her on the seat.

"Lorna? _Lorna_ , you're _bleeding_!" Alex shrieks, worriedly staring her over as she walks towards her. "What happened? Did you fall—did someone hurt you?" She gingerly sits down beside her, taking her hands into her own while she peers concerningly into her eyes.

Emotionless, Lorna turns to stare at the older woman and shrugs her shoulders. "I-I d-don't know why I'm bleeding," she weakly replies, her legs trembling beneath her. "I think-I think I might be having a miscarriage…" Tears form in her eyes at the thought of losing another baby.

The dark-haired woman wraps her in a comforting embrace, looking sympathetically down at her, "I'm taking you to Nicky. You need her right now, especially if that's the reason for this." She stands up – helping Lorna to stand as well – and grabs her hand as she leads her out of the bathroom and in the direction of Nicky's cube.

* * *

Nicky's just – reluctantly – made her bed when she sees Alex carrying a very pale Lorna towards her cube. Her heart shatters at the deathly sight of her and even more so at the trail blood that follows her. She walks over to them, her eyes filled with worry and concern. "What's the matter? What happened to Lorna?"

Finally reaching where the redhead is standing, Alex sighs as she carefully places the faint Lorna into her arms. She gives a small shrug, "I don't exactly know for sure but I saw her sitting on the bench near the shower stalls and blood was surrounding her—and still is. She thinks she might be miscarrying, and by the amount of blood that's coming out, I think she may be right."

" _Oh fuck_ ," Nicky says, her arms wrapping snug around Lorna's shaking body. She holds her tight against her chest while running a hand soothingly up and down her back, "Lorna, baby, I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry you have to fucking go through this shit again!" Her lips press warmly on the top of her head as she tries to bring any amount of comfort to her. It breaks her heart that she has to deal with even more pain.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains (possible) upsetting material as well as slight thoughts of suicide.

_Chapter Eleven_

With increasingly more blood draining out of Lorna's body, Nicky panics and runs with her to find Red. She comes to a halt when she arrives in the front of her cube – seeing her sitting in her chair with a book in hand – and hurries closer to her. "Ma! We have a bit of a problem!" She shrieks, pointing to the tremoring woman in her arms.

Red throws her book aside and turns to look at her daughter. Seeing the blood trail on the ground that seems to go from her cube all the way out, a frantic feeling overwhelms her. "Who's bleeding?! Is it Lorna? What happened girls?" Her tone full of deep worry and concern as she stands up to get a closer look. She can feel her heart shattering inside her at the possibilities that might have caused the petite woman to bleed.

"Alex saw her in the bathroom—sitting in a puddle of her own blood! They both think it's because she might be miscarrying! Ma, you know more about pregnancies than me…what do you think? She's not having a miscarriage, is she?" Nicky hopes to God that's not what this is. She's not sure how Lorna will cope after another baby-loss.

Sighing, Red gently takes the brunette into her arms and closely examines her. "The chances are very high that that's exactly what this is—I'm sorry, Lorna; I know how hard it is to hear this, especially when you've already had to go through another loss… But the amount of blood you seem to be losing—there's no way it's just natural spotting or anything. We're going to have to take you down to medical. You need to be checked out and thoroughly examined by a doctor."

She feels Lorna's body tremble in her arms, making her hold on tighter to her as she gives a comforting kiss to her head, "It's going to be okay, sweetheart; we'll get you through this."

* * *

Sitting in the prison's medical office, Lorna timidly watches the physician get an IV ready on the counter behind the table she sits on. She bites her lip nervously, her eyes staring down at the marble flooring.

The doctor finishes his task and comes over to Lorna with a needle in his hand, "I'm going to put this in real quick, and then you're being transferred to the hospital. You've lost too much blood and need to have a blood transfusion—plus they need to run tests to see what's going on with the pregnancy."

"Hospital?! No-no I can't go there," Lorna shakes her head furiously. "I'm still pregnant, right? I didn't lose the baby, did I?!"

"You need to go to the hospital, and you are. The chances are very low that you didn't miscarry—with the amount of blood you've lost, it's most certainly because of a miscarriage. But that's why we're sending you to the hospital, so that you can get a proper diagnosis. You'll probably only be there a night or two, depending on what they find," he responds while placing the IV into her hand and keeping it in place with a large piece of tape.

* * *

An hour later has Lorna lying chained to a hospital bed as a nurse hooks her up to an IV bag and starts the blood transfusion. After she finishes, she comes to her bedside and gives her a sympathetic stare, "The doctor will be in shortly; she's going to perform an ultrasound to see if you've had a miscarriage or not. If you have, she'll have you stay here a few nights for observation—if not, she might keep you here longer to make sure everything is all right with the pregnancy."

Lorna keeps silent, watching the nurse leave the room. Not long after, the door opens and in comes a female obstetrician – bringing along a movable ultrasound screen. She wheels it over to the side of the brunette's bed. Looking down at her patient, a friendly smile appears on her face. "I hear you've had some pretty bad bleeding going on this morning. Is that correct," her eyes dart down to the chart she's holding, "Lorna Morello?"

"Yes," Lorna meekly nods her head, peering worriedly up at the doctor. "That-that doesn't mean I l-lost my baby, right?"

"Well, the chances are quite high that a miscarriage is what's caused the bleeding – but we won't know for sure until we complete this ultrasound. So, let's have a look," the doctor says, pulling up the gown on Lorna's body and applying the cold gel over top of her stomach. She grabs the transducer and begins moving it around over where she put the gel.

As she moves the transducer around, she looks on the computer screen to see what's going on inside her patient's uterus. A surprising discovery is what she finds, "It looks like you've still got one baby in there—but you were pregnant with twins and miscarried the other. There's two separate sacs, which means they were fraternal. Wow, even the placenta is still here…that's odd. We're going to have to get an MRI done to see what's caused this."

"What? I-I had two babies inside me?!" Lorna's mouth gapes open as she stares at her doctor in shock. "How-how could one die though? That, that makes no sense!" Tears stream down her cheeks.

The obstetrician nods her head, continuing to examine the images on the computer screen. She sighs and gives a sympathetic stare to her young patient. "Sometimes things like this just happen and there's no explanation. It doesn't always make sense why one would die and not the other, but it could be due to a chromosomal abnormality or there could be something going on with your body—which is why I am having you get an MRI of your abdomen. If there _is_ a problem, the other twin could miscarry as well."

* * *

Pacing around the prison furiously, Nicky slams her fists repeatedly into the walls. "Yo Nichols—ya better chill before a CO catches you assaulting the poor wall," Tricia says, walking over to her from the dorms.

Nicky lets out a frustrated groan and gives one last punch to the wall. "Yeah, yeah whatever. I don't really give a fuck what the  
COs do—they made Lorna go through hell and now she's stuck in the fucking hospital!" She scrapes her nails against the wall behind her.

"She's in the hospital? Now, what the fuck happened?" The blonde wonders, sitting down beside her.

Furiously nodding her head, Nicky exhales deeply. "Yeah, unfortunately! She was bleeding and Alex found her in the bathroom—brought her over to me and I—I had no idea what to do about it…I fucking hate that Lorna has to suffer even more, it's bullshit! Ma thinks it's a miscarriage and if that's fucking true—how the fuck is Lorna gonna cope? How much can one person fuckin' handle, ya know?"

"Jesus," Tricia sighs, shaking her head sadly. She looks over at her redhead bunk-mate and notices a faint tear falling down her cheek—it immediately causes her concern. "Ya really care about her, yeah? You got a tear comin' outta your eye, Nicky."

"Well, no fuckin' shit I care about her—I-I love her," Nicky blurts out. Her eyes widen the minute she realizes what she's said. "I mean ya know, course' I love her—she's my best friend."

The blonde shakes her head, nudging her gently on the shoulder. A small smile spreads on her face as she peers heavily into her eyes, "Oh no, Nicky; ya love her. Ya love her a lot more than just a best friend would. There ain't nothin' wrong with admittin' ya true feelings!" She reaches over to give her hand a reassuring pat.

Nicky rolls her eyes, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. "Yeah, well, the last thing Lorna needs is to be worrying about my feelings for her. She's got enough fucking shit to deal with."

* * *

Lorna waits for what seems like hours before anyone comes back in her room. Her nerves are high; she taps her nails anxiously against the sides of the hospital bed she's handcuffed to. As soon as the door opens, her brown eyes instantly look over at it—taking note at the apprehensive expression on her doctor's face. This can't be good, she sadly thinks.

"So, Lorna," the doctor softly starts, walking over to her bedside and staring empathetically down at her. "I've got the results of your MRI scan and they're not exactly pleasant. The reason the placenta is still inside and not the baby is because there seems to be a tumor in your uterus. I don't think you've miscarried the baby—I'm thinking the tumor is so large that it's sitting over top of this twin. And that's not good, because it will suffocate the infant. What I recommend we do is exploratory surgery. I need to look inside and get a biopsy of this tumor—to see if it's malignant and to see how it's going to affect your pregnancy. Chances are very low, unfortunately, that either twin will survive. Of course, we won't know for sure until after the surgery."

Hearing the news brings both relief—that her babies haven't died—and fear—that there's a tumor inside of her and the chance that it might be cancer. "Wha-what exactly will it mean if-if this tumor is c-cancer? W-will my babies be okay?" Tears fill up her eyes as she stares uneasily up at the obstetrician.

Sighing sadly, the doctor gives another empathetic look. She slowly shakes her head. "Honey, if this is cancer— _you_ might not be okay. And on top of that, whether it's cancer or not, this is still a tumor and it _will_ need to be removed. I can't promise you that the babies will survive, but I promise myself and my team of doctors will try to do everything we can to save the three of you," she softly says, her heart aching with the sorrow news she's given. This is the one downside to her job, dealing with possible cancer in a pregnant patient.

"Are you allowed to have your family with you? Because right now, that's the only thing that can help you through this. You should not be going through this alone. I'll ask the officer outside if you can call a family member to come down here."

Lorna nearly chokes on a sob. "If-if there's a ch-choice, save-save the babies," she cries, her body faintly shaking.

It's not the first time a patient has told her that, but it doesn't break her heart any less to hear it. "Try to rest; I'll see if I can get the officer to allow a member from your family to come stay with you. I really don't like the idea of having you go through this alone."

* * *

Red tries to focus her attention on the book in front of her. She tries to keep from thinking about the blood and heartrending cries of her Italian prison daughter. It shatters her heart deeply to know that the young woman might be facing another loss. And the fact that she has to spend time in the hospital—alone—brings even more pain to her heart. She can't imagine what the poor girl must be feeling right now.

"Ma?" Nicky's voice rings through her ears as she comes to sit beside her on the bed. "You okay, ma? Ya look a little down…I mean I am too, knowing what Lorna's dealing with—poor kid," she says, resting her head on the Russian's shoulder and staring up at her with concerned eyes.

Setting the book aside, Red wraps her arms tight around her daughter's waist. "I'm fine, my sweet Nicky," she gives a soft kiss to the top of Nicky's head. "Yes, my heart aches for that young girl. Too much pain she's been dealing with…how can one person suffer through so much?"

Nicky nods in agreement, looking sadly up at her. "How long ya think they'll keep her in the hospital? I hope she's not by herself…they should at least let her family come see her; she can't deal with this shit alone!"

"I don't know…hopefully not too long—she needs to be surrounded by people who care about her and I highly doubt they'll let her family visit while she's there. These officers have no empathy, dear Nicky," Red sadly replies. And she knows that's the truth – they've never cared for any pain that any of the women in here might have had to go through; all they are to the officers are criminals.

"I just—I worry how she's gonna cope when she comes back…What-what if she thinks the pain is too much to deal with?! What if – what if she does somethin' stupid, ma?!"

Red crosses her arms, knowing where this is going and doesn't like it one bit. She raises her eyebrows as she gives a firm stare down to her daughter. "Do you think she's going to have a chance to do anything like what you're thinking? Do you think any of us would be dumb enough to leave her to own devices?"

Sighing, Nicky stares back at her with uncertainty. "And how exactly can we know what she's doing at all hours of the day, ma? Her bunk-mate ain't gonna do much to help and then I gotta go to electrical for half the day…so how the fuck can we keep an eye on her?"

"I'll talk to Healy—see if he can maybe move Lorna to stay with me. That way I can keep an eye on her at night and you don't have to worry constantly for her. And I'll get her to help me in the kitchen when she's not on van duty—believe me, my daughter, we will keep her from doing anything regretful. She will be okay with us."

* * *

Lunch time rolls around and Nicky reluctantly sits down at her table with a tray of not-so-appetizing mashed up beans and rice. She rolls her eyes, slamming her hand angrily down on the table. It pisses her off to know that her best friend is forced to stay in the hospital—away from those who care about her—and suffer alone through the loss of another child. Especially when one of the COs was the one to blame for all of this.

"How's Lorna? Is she okay?" Alex asks, taking a seat beside the fuming redhead. The mental image of blood won't leave her mind; she hopes for Lorna's sake that it isn't from a miscarriage.

Shaking her head roughly, Nicky stabs her fork harshly on her tray. "I highly doubt she is," she grits her teeth, "She's in the hospital – all alone and cuffed to a damn hospital bed – she ain't fuckin' okay. She's not gonna be okay when they're fucking forcing her to suffer alone! Fucking dumbasses these officers are. All they care about is themselves!"

The black-haired inmate sighs sadly, looking down at her food, "Poor girl. I wonder how long she'll be in there?"

Yoga Jones stares over at the two in concern and confusion. Her eyebrows arch upwards. "What happened? Why's she in the hospital to begin with?"

"Bleeding and probably havin' a fuckin' miscarriage – which is all thanks to fuckin' shitty ass Mendez! That slimy piece of shit bastard," Nicky growls, stabbing her fork even harder onto the food—causing some of it to fly in the air and land on her shirt.

"Oh, Morello," the yoga instructor sadly starts off, "That poor young woman has done nothing but suffer the entire time she's been in here. If it's not one thing, it's another. I can't imagine what she must be feeling right now; she must be so upset and broken up over this tragedy…and especially since this is the second loss she's had in only three months."

Nicky exhales a deep, frustrated, breath as she nods in agreement. "I need you three to promise me somethin'?" She inquiries, looking to see all their eyes quizzically on her. "When she comes back from the hospital, we all need to look out for her and keep an eye on her. We need to keep her from having time to herself because she's gonna be in real bad shape, probably, and I don't want her doin' anything she shouldn't. Ya get what I'm hintin' at here?"

"You think Lorna would resort to suicide?" Alex genuinely wonders, staring at her with wariness.

The redhead shrugs. "I don't know but I do know the kid ain't too fond of letting her emotions out and she'll let herself drown silently in her pain. That doesn't give me a good feeling about letting her have too much privacy, ya know? So, are we clear on this? We all needa be there to help her cope and get her through this."

* * *

"Lorna, sweetheart, ya gotta wake up," Franny stands by her sister's bedside, gently running a hand through the sleeping girl's hair. She presses a soothing kiss to her forehead, her eyes peering gloomily down at her. Her heart soars for the young brunette; it pains her to hear that her sister has even more suffering to go through. She wishes there was more she could do for her – a way she could take all the hurt away.

Brown eyes slowly peep out. Everything seems blurry and hazy, Lorna can just barely make out her sister's face. When she tries to sit up to get a closer look, a strong wave of pain hits and she lets out a yelp. "F-Franny? W-why does everything hurt?" Her eyes squint in the direction of the taller brunette.

Carefully grabbing her frail—and handcuffed—hand, Franny gives it a delicate stroke. She stares down at the petite woman—her eyes filled with sympathy, hating to be the bearer of bad news once again. "Probably cause' ya just gotta outta surgery, Lornie. They told me somethin' about there being a tumor in your uterus? And they went in to get a biopsy of it—at least that's what your doctor planned to do, she said…"

"What? They-they already did it? I thought—I didn't think she meant they were doing it _today_! I-I wasn't ready! Are my-my babies okay?! Franny, did she say how the babies are?"

"Wait— _babies_? As is in more than one?! She hasn't mentioned anything to me about the pregnancy, Lorn," Franny strokes her hand softly, bending to press a motherly kiss on her forehead. "You need to worry about yourself right now, sweetie; close your eyes and rest." She softly tells her, running her hand delicately across her forehead.

Their conversation is interrupted by the door opening. The obstetrician cautiously comes in her patient's hospital room with a defeated look on her face. She walks over to stand next to Lorna's sister, staring sadly between the two of them. "Lorna, I'm glad to see you're awake. I hate to ruin the moment but I have some unfortunate news to share with the two of you," she gently begins, "The operation didn't go too well. The tumor is miraculously large—it's so big that not only is it inside your uterus but parts of it are covering other organs surrounding the uterus…That's not a good sign and probably infers that this is cancer we're dealing with. And the one baby had—we had to take her out, the tumor was completely covering her – which would explain why we only saw the placenta on the ultrasound – and it suffocated her…I'm so sorry to tell you this, I know it's not what you wanted to hear."

"It-it was a g-girl?" Lorna's voice shakes with sobs, she grips her sister's hand tighter as she stares tearfully up at her doctor. "W-what about the-the other baby? You won't let that one die too, will you?! I fucking told you to save my babies not me! Why would you let them die?!" Her voice gets louder and angrier, she kicks the blanket—since she can't really move her hands.

"Please calm down, sweetie," Franny softly pleads the younger woman, stroking her comfortingly on the forehead. She gives a soothing kiss down to her head, continuing to gently stroke her face. "The doctor didn't do anything to cause her to die, Lorn…it's the tumor that's killed her and you're lucky it hasn't killed you too! You need to worry about yourself—you have cancer, Lorna! You can die from this and if you die, the baby dies. There's no way to save the baby if you die. And I fuckin' refuse to let you make such a decision like that!"

Lorna only cries harder. She stares up at the doctor with shattered eyes, "D-d-did you remove the tumor? It's not gonna kill the other baby, right?!"

"Lorna; you have to understand that when we remove the tumor, the baby comes out with it. We're going to have to remove the entire uterus as well as any other reproductive organs to make sure none of it is left behind. And that means we have to take the baby out; I'm so sorry. But we need to do this as soon as possible. I'm going to run down to the lab to see if the results are in yet for the biopsy."

* * *

Nicky hasn't been called down to the visitation room in over a year. So, when she hears her name over the loud speaker she does a doubletake. Who could possibly be here to see her? She made it very clear to Marka Nichols that she never wants to see her again, and all her old friends couldn't care less about her now.

She slowly walks into the room and sees a woman – who somewhat resembles an older version of Lorna but with lighter eyes and a taller height – she assumes this to be the person who's come to visit her. It must be her sister, she thinks. Once she makes her way closer to the woman—who's hand is held outwards—she shakes it with her own. "Are ya Lorna's sister?"

"Yes, I'm Franny. Ya must be Nicky? She's real fond of ya, and has been going on and on about ya recently. So, I figured I'd come pay you a visit and let ya know what's going on with her," the older woman says as they sit across from each other at the table.

Nicky nods eagerly. It's been a hell of a week without her favorite brunette here to talk to and spend time with. She's barely been able to focus on anything with how much she's been worrying for the young inmate. "We're all worried for the kid; she's been through too much in here… How's she doing? Do you know when they plan to release her from the hospital?"

Franny sighs, and shakes her head. "Probably not for a few more weeks—she's just had surgery to remove her entire reproductive system and found out she has cancer. I can't even—this just makes no fucking sense to me. Why does my sister have to go through all this bullshit? Ever since they fucking sent her to this place, her entire life has been fallin' apart. One thing after another; when is she ever gonna catch a damn break? This ain't fucking fair to her…at all," she angrily says.

" _Holy shit!_ Ya gotta be kidding? She's got _cancer_ now? Fuckin' shit…that musta been why she was bleeding so much! Is—she lost the baby, didn't she? God, poor thing," the redhead feels her heart breaking. She can't believe how much this poor woman has been forced to go through; no one deserves to suffer as much as she's suffering. "I ask the same question sometimes…How much can she can handle? This is just too much shit!"

"I fuckin' wish I was kidding; we already got one family member with cancer and now our Lorna's got it too! It's not fucking fair. Life is not fair to her," Franny grits her teeth, scratching her nails roughly against the surface of the table.

"She told me bout' your mom and how she has brain cancer…I'm so sorry—cancer's fuckin' evil! I wonder – does Lorna have the same cancer? Maybe it's a DNA thing or somethin'?" Nicky stares empathetically across at the older woman, reaching to place her hand over top of hers—in the hope to give her some sort of comfort.

Shrugging, Franny lets out a frustrated groan. "I don't know what kinda cancer it is! They fucking call me up and tell me my baby sister's in the hospital—about to fucking go under the knife—and when I get there, the doctor tells me she's got a tumor in her uterus. Now, they say it's cancer and they don't know what fucking type it is! Fucking clueless idiots—so they're puttin' her through all these damn tests and making her life miserable."

She sighs, taking a minute to just breathe. It worries her deeply to know that her younger sister is stuck suffering with cancer and the death of both her babies—on top of still working through the death of her first-born—and that she won't be able to be with her much longer since she'll be sent back here soon.

"Can I ask you somethin, Nicky? Somethin' real important that I need you to promise that you'll do for me," Franny stares firmly across at the redhead—her blue eyes boring into big brown ones.

Nodding, Nicky replies with, "Yeah, sure; what is it?"

The older woman inhales a deep breath before questioning her. "When Lorna comes back here, will ya look out for her and make sure she takes care a herself? She worries me. She's never been good with sharing her emotions and will pretend everything's fine when it's not—she'll bottle it all up and—and she might ya know, do something real dumb. I don't trust her. I can't and I need ya to promise me you'll keep an eye on her for me!"

"Of course; we all will—we'll make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. I won't allow her to neglect herself, I refuse to. And I know she's horrible with her emotions—I worry for her to. She's been through too much in such a short time-span…"

* * *

The minute Lorna sets foot back in the prison, an instant queasiness forms in her lower abdomen. Memories flood her mind of the last time she was here—the day her life would be forever changed. She shakes her head and continues to follow silently behind the officer who escorts her inside and down the hall to her cube. Other inmates who pass her give her pitying stares, which she so chooses to ignore.

Lorna's face scrunches up with confusion when the officer brings her to her cube—or what must be her new cube, she wonders. She sees Red's sitting in the chair near her rusty dresser and focusing her eyes on the paper in her hands.

"All right, inmate, here's your new bunk. You're temporarily off from van-duty, so rest up while you can," the officer says before leaving the cube.

Red sets the paper down on her dresser and gets up from the chair. She looks Lorna carefully over—noticing how thin she's gotten and how weak she seems to be; her heart breaks a little more for her. "It's good to have you back here, Lorna. How're you feeling, honey?" Her voice gently calls out as she walks towards her and wraps her in a soothing embrace.

"This—I'm kinda confused…is this my new cube? I thought—don't ya like havin' this to yourself, Red?" Lorna stares up at her with an eyebrow arched a bit.

"I thought it would be best that you have a bunk-mate who might be able to help you through this, Lorna. And we both know Boo isn't that kind of bunk-mate. Living with her wouldn't do you any good. Besides, I sometimes get lonely and wouldn't mind sharing my cube with you," the Russian mother kindly replies, stroking her hands comfortingly through Lorna's brown hair.

She presses a motherly kiss on the top of her head and looks sympathetically down into her eyes, "Now let's be honest and tell me how you're feeling. Nicky informed me of your situation after she talked with your sister a couple weeks ago. I've heard about the cancer and losses you've been through, sweetheart, and I'm so sorry to hear about it."

Lorna sighs, but doesn't make an effort to move away from the embrace. "I feel empty…numb—I just, I don't understand. What did I do wrong? I musta done somethin' to deserve this, huh?" She peers desperately up at the older woman, needing some kind of assurance.

Red's arms tighten around her as she sits down on the bed with her. Her eyes sternly stare down at her; she shakes her head and runs a hand through her hair. "You did nothing, Lorna, _absolutely nothing_ to deserve this. You don't deserve any of this and you better not even think like that," she firmly affirms her.

"You know, why don't you lie down and rest? You look exhausted, honey," she gently places her on the bed, wrapping the blanket around her. Her fingertips brush gently around her forehead, over and over to try to lull her to sleep. "I'm going to find Nicky and let her know you're finally back—she's really missed you. Of course, we all have, but you mean a lot to her." Once the other's eyes droop shut, she bends down to give a soothing kiss to her head and then quietly leaves the dorm.

* * *

Nicky sits in Red's chair beside the sleeping Lorna and holds one of her hands tightly in hers. She keeps her eyes on her friend—watching closely for her to finally awaken. It's been an hour that she's sat here and watched her sleep. The moment her mother came to her about Lorna's being back, she ran to find her. She refuses to ever leave her side again—unless she's forced to for her work shift.

A few minutes go by and Lorna begins to stir—her eyes slowly pop open, searching their surroundings. Nicky smiles sadly down at her, getting up off the chair and carefully scooping her head off the pillow so she can sit herself there and lays the brunette's head onto her lap. "Hey, kid. I'm so happy to see you back here…d'ya have a good nap?" Her fingers gently trickle against the sides of her face.

"Nicky," Lorna gently says, snuggling into her embrace. She forces herself into a sitting position—ignoring the pain that radiates in her abdomen—and squeezes her arms tight around Nicky's neck. "I missed ya so much."

Having the petite brunette in her arms brings a warm smile to the redhead's face. She holds her tight, kissing her tenderly on the head. "Aw kid, I missed ya too—so fuckin' much," her voice soft against Lorna's ear. Cupping her head in her hands, Nicky stares at her with a more serious expression now. "How are ya feelin'? Are you okay, kid?"

"I have cancer, Nicky…Don't really know how okay I am with that—and my babies are gone. I-I w-will never get to experience a pregnancy again! Oh my God—that-that was my last-last pregnancy forever! I guess-I guess I just ain't meant to be a mom or nothin' or meant to be happy. I'll just shrivel away to nothin', I guess."

Nicky's arms tighten around her as her eyes stare softly down at her. She kisses her gently on the head, "I know you do, kid; I'm so sorry! But I'm gonna be right here for ya. I won't leave you—I'll take care a ya and so will Red and the resta our family. We're all gonna be here for ya, Lorna; whatever you need, ya just tell us." Her hands rub up and down the distraught woman's back.

Her heart hurts deeply for the young inmate; she looks into her eyes, love very apparent in her own. "I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this shit, kid. No, no, baby that's not all what this means…you are meant to be a mom, one day; there are so many other ways to have a child, Lorna. But you don't need to worry about that right now, you gotta worry about yourself. You are meant to be happy—this shit just happens sometimes…I guess. And to sweet, loving, people like you who don't deserve to suffer! You don't deserve to go through any of this fucking shit," she roughly says, holding her tight against her own body.

"What's there for me to worry about myself for? I ain't got nothin' left to live for…my babies are all dead and I got fuckin' cancer—who knows? I might be joining them soon. I hope so, anyway, I just wanna be outta my misery. I can't take anymore fucking pain, Nicky; I really fucking can't!"

Nicky feels a few tears well up in her eyes at hearing this. She lays Lorna's head softly on her chest, kissing her head warmly as she gazes lovingly down at her. "Baby, you have so much to live for—don't fuckin' talk like that. You're too young to die, Lorna. And I'm not gonna let ya even ponder such thoughts, kid. Absolutely not. I-I love you; I fucking love you so damn much, and if-if you were to die, my heart would crack into little tiny pieces…I just—there's no way in hell I'll let ya die or think about dying."

"I know, I know you're hurting so much and you can't handle anymore. But dying—that's not the answer, baby. That's why I'm here. I'm here to help you—to take care of you and bring you whatever kinda comfort I can. I'll do anything you need to me to do to make you feel better—if ya want me to just sit and hold ya, then I'll fuckin' do that. Ya wanna scream and yell, by all means go ahead. But you will not die; I refuse to let you. You will get through this, you will and I'll be right here with you. I won't fuckin' leave you, kid. I mean it. I love you; I can't let you suffer alone." Nicky's lips press lovingly on Lorna's in a soft and soothing kiss. She lays back against the pillow, placing the brunette softly onto her chest. Her hands stroke gently up and down her back, slowly luring her to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains self-harm (self-mutilation). 
> 
> Author's Note: Sorry for the late update, been busy with finishing things for my semester in college. Fortunately, I'm done now (well for the most part) so I should be updating quickly again. I'm also sorry this is a bit shorter...but something is better than nothing. :) Thanks to those who read this and reviews are always very appreciated.

_Chapter Twelve_

Everyone eyes Lorna somberly at their table that evening during dinner. The stares make her feel uncomfortable, she keeps her head down in order to hide herself from them. She understands they mean well and all but she's never been one to like having any amount of attention on herself – especially if it's pity. Being pitied is her pet peeve and is why she hates letting others in on her problems.

Sitting beside her, Nicky can sense her uneasiness. She wraps her arm protectively around her shoulder and gives a look to the other three women who occupy their table. "What's the weather like? Any of ya gone outside today?" She casually questions, stroking Lorna's back while staring at the others expectantly.

"I took my usual run this morning; it's gorgeous out there," Yoga Jones warmly responds, nodding her head while she speaks. She tries not to linger her eyes on the brunette next to Nicky—that's probably the last thing the girl wants. "Spring must be finally arriving. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining—it's amazing."

Tricia nods next to her while taking a bite of runny mashed potato. "Oh yeah, it's real warm out today. I saw Red out ere' looking to be startin' a garden of some sort. Must be spring for sure."

"Me and my mom planted a garden every spring when I's in grade-school. One of my favorite memories growin' up," Lorna's voice quietly speaks up—bringing a silence over their table. She keeps her eyes down on her food as she mindlessly shoves a spoonful into her mouth. "Ya know I ain't gonna fall apart if ya stop starin' at me. I ain't a baby or nothin'; I don't needa constantly be watched!" Anger rises in her, she stabs her spoon harshly around her food.

Nicky sighs and strokes her back comfortingly. "Lorna, no one thinks that way of you…We're all just tryna look out for ya and make sure you're okay. We care about ya, kid; we wanna help ya through this. Calm down, yeah?" She peers softly down at the shorter woman, dropping a soothing kiss to her head.

" _I am_ calm," Lorna mumbles before shoving a bite of mashed potatoes in her mouth. "And I am fuckin' okay—as okay as okay can get! None a ya needa worry bout' me; I'm the most okay person here!" She yells, harshly grabbing her half-eaten tray of food and running her way out of there.

* * *

Nicky walks through the halls, looking for the petite inmate. The sound of stuff being thrown around and frustrated groaning catches her attention. She turns to follow where it's coming from and gets a glimpse of Lorna angrily trashing her own belongings in her cube. Fastening her pace, she hurries to the cube—grabbing the brunette before she can ruin anything else.

"What's the matter? Why ya so upset, kid?" She wraps her arms snuggly around her, peering down to her eyes with concern. Her hands run up and down her back in soothing circles. "Looks like a damn tornado flew through here, Lorna."

Folding her arms over her chest, Lorna stares up at the older inmate with a defiant expression. "I'm _fine_!" She hisses, slamming her fists roughly onto her mattress.

Staring sternly down at her, Nicky shakes her head. She can easily sense the anger and pain her friend is feeling. And there is absolutely no way she will let that slide. "Yeah, is that why ya tore apart all your stuff? Ya ain't fine, kid, and ya ain't foolin' me. Tell me what's wrong. For real, Lorna. I'm not fucking leaving this alone until ya tell me," her voice firmly commands as she keep a tight hold on the younger woman.

"I just—nothing; never mind," Lorna sighs in defeat, looking away from the other.

"Come on baby, tell me what's bothering ya. It's okay; you can tell me whatever it is. I wanna help ya and take care of ya," Nicky softly reassures her. Her arms pull the other closer and she presses a comforting kiss to her head.

Lorna lets out a deep breath. "It just – it really sucks; it fucking sucks so much! Everything fucking sucks—I just wanna be home with my family right now but I can't be! I hate this place it's ruined my life, for real…everything's just went down the fucking drain since I've been thrown in here." She angrily cries out, slamming her fist into her pillow.

Sighing, Nicky feels her heart burst with empathy for her best friend. She wraps her arms tighter around the shorter woman, pulling her onto her lap so that she can't reach the pillow to punch it any longer. "I know it sucks, kid; I'm sorry you have to deal with so much shit in here. It's not fair at all," she softly says, giving a comforting stroke across Lorna's forehead.

"What makes it even worse is that I can't even fucking drive the van anymore; they told me I'm done driving until next month," she lets out a frustrated groan. Without having something to keep her occupied, all she has is to dwell on her cancer and recent miscarriage. That she knows is not the best combination.

"Wow, I'm shocked they even gave you time off; they're usually assholes about that but I'm glad they're showing some compassion for fucking once," Nicky replies with a hint of relief. She didn't think any of the officers had an ounce of consideration left in them. Her eyes soften a tad as she looks down at the brunette, "Lorna, you need a break from driving anyway right now. I mean you probably got a whole bunch of medicine to take for the cancer, yeah? And it wouldn't be a good idea for you to be driving when heavily medicated, kid."

Lorna bites her lip and looks away. "I can't just sit around and do nothin' all day! I'll go crazy!"

"I know, kid," Nicky uses the palm of her hand to gently caress against Lorna's cheek. "Red wouldn't mind if ya helped her in the kitchen when ya get bored. And ya know, you have yoga ya can do in the morning to keep you calm. Plus, when I ain't workin', we can spend as much time together as ya want. It's all gonna be okay, Lorna; I promise."

* * *

It's late in the night when Red is awoken to horrific cries from across her cube. She immediately gets out of bed and makes her way over to the distressed brunette laying on the other side of the cell. Lifting her head onto her lap, she sits at the end of her bed and runs her hand comfortingly through her hair. "Lorna, what's the matter? Are you in pain, sweetheart?" Her questions asked tiredly but with a huge hint of concern mixed in.

"I-I can't-can't, I can't f-feel—" the brunette chokes out before a hysteria of sobs overtake her completely.

Red brushes her knuckles calmingly against her forehead while staring worriedly into her eyes. "Shh, calm down and tell me what's wrong. What can't you feel, Lorna?" She wraps her arms soothingly around the small brunette, rocking her slowly back and forth.

Before a response can be given, Nicky rushes frantically into the cube. She instantly sits herself beside her prison mother and gives a deeply concerning stare towards the two women. "What's going on, ma? I heard a cry," she stares at the distraught Lorna with tenderness in her eyes. Carefully, she grabs hold of her hand and strokes it softly, "Are you hurting, baby? Is that what's got ya awake and all upset at this hour?" Her thumb brushes tenderly over the younger woman's knuckles.

"N-numb—everything is numb!" Lorna shrieks, grabbing desperately onto both older women. Her eyes bewilderedly peer up into their concerned ones. "I can't feel my legs or anything below-below my stomach…"

"Try and calm down, kid. I'm sure it's just from you sleepin' wrong or somethin' simple," Nicky gently soothes, brushing her knuckles lightly against Lorna's shaky hand. "You should just close your eyes and try to fall back to sleep. I'm sure the feeling will be gone by morning. If it's not, we'll take you to see the physician, yeah?"

Red runs her hand slowly through the short brown hair, "It could also be a side effect from whatever medicine you're taking. But Nicky's right, it's best that you just go back to sleep. We'll see how you're feeling in the morning." She continues the soothing motion through her hair while still lightly rocking her—hoping to lull her to sleep.

A few moments later, after Lorna finally falls back to sleep, Nicky gives a panicked stare up towards her mother. "Do you really think this is just something minor, ma? What if she's permanently numb?"

"I think we oughta just let her rest and see how she's doing tomorrow. Let's not be negative Nancy's here," Red honestly responds, carefully lying the brunette down in her bed and then pulling Nicky in for a loving embrace. "No matter what the problem is, Nicky, she'll be okay; she has the two of us to look after her."

* * *

Lorna wakes up the next morning to Nicky's worried face hovering over her. "Well, good morning to you too, Nicky," she lightly laughs, sitting herself up and throwing the blanket off of her.

Looking her over with a skeptic eye, Nicky instantly pulls her into a snug embrace. Her lips press tenderly against Lorna's forehead, "Ya feelin' better, yeah kid? The numbness go away?" She softly brushes her fingertips along the shorter woman's jawline while holding her tight in her arms.

"I feel much better," the brunette chirps, a bright smile shinning on her face. She slowly leans her head against Nicky's shoulder and wraps her arms around her neck. "Thanks, Nicky, for everything. I really—I don't know what I'd do in here without ya."

"I'll do anything for ya, kid. I mean it. And you'll never have to find out what that's like cause' I ain't ever leavin' ya," Nicky firmly says, tightening her hold on the shorter woman. She runs her hand lightly through her hair and gives a comforting kiss to the top of her head.

A small smile spreads on Lorna's face as she nuzzles her head closer to the warmth radiating off of the taller inmate. Her fingertips brush lightly along the redhead's neck. "Ya mean a lot to me, Nicky," she softly whispers, rubbing her hands gently around her skin. She gives her a gentle squeeze while staring sincerely up into her eyes. "I think I'm gonna head outside for a walk—I could use some fresh air."

Nicky gives her an uneasy glance, "Ya gonna be okay?" She cups her hands delicately around her friend's cheeks.

"Course' I will," Lorna smiles, tracing her fingers lightly down the outline of the other's jaw. She presses a tender kiss to her cheek before releasing the embrace and walking towards the exit. "I'll only be a half-hour at the most."

* * *

The sun is brightly shinning up in the sky as Lorna walks out to the prison's track. Feeling in the warmth on her face brings an immediate smile to her. Nature always has a way of cheering her up—the sounds of birds chirping, the glorious plants, it all makes a peaceful sensation wash over her. She sighs—a happy sigh—and walks along the paved-out sidewalk.

As she continues her walk, she notices an unfamiliar woman sitting on the grass nearby – rocking back and forth while seemingly talking to herself. Intrigued, Lorna finds herself walking in that direction—wanting not only to find out what's going on with her but also to see if there's anything she can do to help her.

"I wouldn't go near that one," an inmate says to her, "the girl just got outta psyche. She's cray-cray!" She, along with a couple other inmates, lets out a chuckle.

Lorna shakes her head—ignoring her snide comments—and continues in the woman's direction. When she finally reaches her, she cautiously sits down beside her and gives a gentle tap to her shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?"

The woman immediately lifts her head to stare up at Lorna. She gives her a wary look, moving slightly away from her, "Who are you? Never seen you before…what's your name?" Her big black eyes bore into the brunette's.

"Oh, I'm Lorna—I mean Morello; I've only been in here for a few months now," Lorna gently responds, giving a friendly smile to her. "What's your name? I haven't seen ya before, either."

"Lorna? Hmm, I like that name—it's very melodic," the darker woman slowly says. She lets her hands linger in the freshly cut grass beneath her, tugging it out and throwing it back down. "Suzanne is my name; I've been trapped in the psyche ward for a little while…but they finally let me come back. You do not wanna be thrown in there—it's a bad place."

Lorna looks over at her with a twinge of sympathy shining through her brown eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that." She awkwardly picks at the grass surrounding her, pulling them out one strand at a time. "How long have ya been in here, Suzanne? I hope it's okay for me to ask you that."

Shrugging her shoulders lightly, Suzanne widens her eyes as she uses her fingers to count out the years. "Four—no, six? I'm pretty sure it's at least five years…I was twenty-five when I came in here…or was I twenty-three? Shit! I don't really remember!" Frustrated, she uses one hand to smack repeatedly over her forehead—as if to hit the information out of herself.

With caution, Lorna proceeds to tenderly grab the taller woman's hand and pulls it away from her head. She holds it tight in her own while peering up at her with sincerity, "It's okay, hon. Don't beat yourself up over it." Her thumb gently strokes over top of Suzanne's knuckles.

"Thanks Lorna," a small smile forms on her face as she turns to look at her. "No one hardly ever talks to me anymore. They all just call me _Crazy Eyes_ and avoid me like I'm contagious or somethin'."

Hearing that brings a slight frown to the brunette's face. She sighs sadly while giving a comforting squeeze to Suzanne's hand. "That's not very nice of people," Lorna gloomily says, staring at her. "Well, I'll be here if ya ever want someone to talk to. You can even come with me to yoga if ya want—I go every morning after breakfast. You seem real sweet, Suzanne."

* * *

Later on—at breakfast—Nicky is relieved when she finally sees Lorna coming to sit down at their table. After not seeing her for over an hour, she started to worry that something might have happened to her. So, once the young woman is sitting beside her, her arm instantly wraps protectively around her waist. "How was your walk, kid? Must have been nice, yeah? Ya've been gone for a good while," she wonders, rubbing her hand soothingly down the other's back.

Lorna gives a soft smile in response as she shoves a huge bite of oatmeal into her mouth. "It was kinda refreshin', really cleared my mind," she answers with a mouthful of food. "I also mighta made a friend. I saw this woman just sittin' alone in the grass—Suzanne, ya know her? She told me she just got outta the psyche or somethin'?"

"Crazy Eyes?" Nicky questions, receiving a slight glare in return. She shakes her head and taps her fingers on the table, "I know, I shouldn't call her that…my bad. But yeah, I know her—we all do, except you…and Alex, cause' she's been in psyche for the past four months. Psyche is worse than being in the SHU – at least from what I've heard. Ain't like I ever been thrown in the psyche ward."

Slowly nodding, Lorna doesn't prod much more on the subject. Instead, she piles increasingly more food into her mouth while observing their table fill up with its usual crowd.

"How are you doin', Morello?" Yoga Jones kindly asks, taking a small bite of her banana. Her eyes peer sympathetically over towards the petite young inmate.

"I'm still alive," Lorna gives an indifferent response.

Nicky's arm wraps tighter around her, pulling her closer to her body. Her eyes softly stare down into Lorna's as she drops a warm kiss to her head, "And ya better believe we're all happy you are, kid. We all love ya and want you to be okay." She runs a hand lovingly through her wavy brown hair.

Lorna shrugs her shoulders and mindlessly continues eating her meal. The realization of the events of the last several weeks is beginning to settle within her—she lost two more babies and she has cancer. _Cancer._ The word alone makes her want to vomit.

"Lorna, how are ya feeling?" Alex questions once she's seated in the empty spot next to the brunette. She stares at her with an overwhelming out of sympathy lurking in her eyes.

Sighing, the shorter woman reluctantly looks up from her food. "I have no clue anymore," her voice barely audible as she says this. Her hands reach for her cup of steaming coffee and brings it to her lips for a sip.

Not quite sure how to respond, Alex just gives a comforting pat to her hand before starting in on her breakfast.

"Coming to yoga tomorrow? That might help you," Yoga Jones smiles warmly at her.

"I plan to…might see if Suzanne wants to come—seems like she could use something to keep her busy," the younger woman answers, shoveling a huge bite of toast into her mouth.

Tricia arches her eyebrow in confusion, "They let Crazy Eyes out of psyche? How the fuck d'ya meet her, Morello?"

The nick-name causes Lorna to give her a hardened stare, she grips her hand tighter around the spoon she's holding. "Her name is _Suzanne_! Why does everyone feel the need to call her Crazy Eyes? Do ya think it's funny or somethin'?" Frustration seeps through her voice as she harshly digs her spoon around in the watery-oatmeal. "I saw her sitting alone in the grass while I was taking my walk…And she seems real sweet."

"Well, she _is_ kinda crazy," the blonde inmate responds, nodding her head slightly as she speaks. "But I guess ya got a point there—shouldn't be callin' her that. Can't help myself sometimes."

"I agree with you, Morello. I think it'll be good for her to come to yoga as well," Yoga Jones gives her an encouraging smile. "You'd be amazed at what yoga can do for a person's mind."

* * *

Nicky grudgingly makes her way to electrical for her shift. She loathes having to leave Lorna for the next few hours, but she knows she'll be fine working in the kitchen with Red. And at least she has Tricia to keep herself company during her own work.

When she finally enters the room, she immediately goes over to her usual table and gets to work on fixing the lamp she started the other day. A few minutes later, Tricia takes the seat beside her. "All right, Nichols," the blonde smirks while staring over at her, "How are things with you and Morello? Ya mention anything about love to her?"

"Why would I tell her that now?! She's already got a fucking shitload of crap to deal with—I'm not adding anything else to the mix," Nicky gives an irritated reply, messing with the wires of the lamp.

"What better time to tell her than when she's feelin' down in the dump? Who wouldn't wanna find out that someone loves them when they're going through a shitty time?! Use your fuckin' head, Nicky."

Folding her arms over her chest, Nicky stares coldly at the younger inmate. "And what makes you think she'll be happy about such news? She's fuckin' Catholic and straight as a damn nail. I don't think she'll be throwin' a party knowin' some heroin addict lesbian is deeply fucking in love with her!"

Her eyes widen with a cheeky smirk. Tricia arches her eyebrows and gives a friendly pat to her shoulder. "Ah, so you are in love with her!" She laughs, giving her a knowing look. "I don't think she's that straight…Straight women don't just fuck other women for the hell of it! She may not be a full-out lesbian like us, but she sure as fuck ain't straight no more—or never was to begin with."

* * *

Without a thought—or maybe too much thought—Lorna discreetly throws one of the butter knifes into her short pocket. After she's finished helping Red for the afternoon, she hurriedly walks to the bathroom – keeping a close grip on the knife inside the pocket. She knows she shouldn't be doing this—she shouldn't be having such thoughts and keeping them to herself. Shaking her head, she tries to rid the refusal out of her as she goes to stand in front of the mirror. Fortunately, at this odd hour, everyone's busy working or lounging around in the rec-room so she doesn't have to worry that someone might walk in on her.

Carefully getting the knife out of her pocket, Lorna takes a moment just to stare at it. She lets out a deep breath and lightly traces the tip of it along the skin of her arm. Her teeth clatter a bit at the contact but once the blood starts pouring out, they stop. She gulps, watching it trickle down to the floor. The sight repulses her a bit, but not for long as she switches arms and does the exact same thing.

"Red musta let you off early, yeah kid?" Nicky's voice brings a fast halt to the brunette's actions. She inwardly panics, not sure of what to do now; she throws the knife back into her pocket and turns the sink water on to thoroughly wash her hands. Her face slightly turns to stare at the redhead, who – fortunately – is just far enough away that she can't notice the blood.

"Uh, yeah—said somethin' about how she was gonna have Gina finish the rest with her…" Lorna tries not to stumble on her words as she keeps her both of her arms underneath the running water. "How was electrical? Guess ya got done early too, huh?"

Chuckling, Nicky nods. She turns off the faucet and gets a paper towel to dry her hands. "I always get done early—Luschek _loves_ me," she jokes, throwing her towel away before walking towards the jittery brunette. Her big brown eyes linger on her arms and then worriedly up into Lorna's. She pulls her arms carefully out of the running water, thoroughly examining them. "Lorna, what-what the fuck did you do to your arms? Why are they bleeding so much?!"

"I didn't do nothin'," Lorna grunts, pulling away from her and ready to make a V-line to the exit.

Shaking her head fiercely, Nicky instantly grabs her and pulls her over to one of the stalls—locking it behind them. Her hands tightly cup around Lorna's porcelain cheeks as her eyes peer heavily into hers. "Don't give me that bullshit, kid. You did this to yourself; I fuckin' know ya did," she says, her voice angry but her eyes filled with deep compassion and concern. "Why—why the fuck would you do this, Lorna? Please, kid, tell me why the hell you would intentionally inflict pain on yourself…especially when you're already in fucking so much pain!"

The shorter woman tearfully stares at the wall ahead, only very lightly shrugging her shoulders. "I-I just—I wanted something to take away the constant thoughts and hurt…This—this just happened. I-I don't know; I mean it always helped me when I was in high school so I figured it'd help now too," she shakily replies.

Nicky wraps her arms as tight as she can around Lorna, pulling her onto her chest and kissing her tenderly on the forehead. Her eyes stares softly down at her, sympathetic tears hindering deep inside of them. "You should have come found me, Lorna. Not fuckin' come here and make yourself even more miserable! This is why I can't trust you to be alone—you're gonna do something stupid like this!" She sighs when she realizes her words aren't helping much—instead they're just breaking the already broken brunette even more.

With her arms still wrapped tight around Lorna, Nicky crutches down to sit on the concrete floor with her. She leans their foreheads softly together, caressing the sides of Lorna's face with tenderness, "I don't want you to feel this way, baby; I don't want you to feel that you have to fuckin' resort to hurting yourself instead of coming to talk to me about how you're feeling! I wanna help ya, kid. How many times do I need to tell you that before you believe it?!" Her hand moves towards a sparse strand of hair; she lovingly places it behind her ear.

"I-I—" Lorna feels herself break down into a horrendous fit of cries. She grips tightly onto the redhead's neck, "I-I don't-don't know how to-to share my feelings with people, Nicky! All my life I've-I've never had any real friends. They-they—"

"They what, baby?" Nicky stares empathetically into her brown eyes, stroking her thumb lightly across her forehead. "Go on, kid, tell me. I wanna know; what the fuck'd they do to ya? They make ya feel like shit, yeah?" She gives a comforting kiss onto her cheek, running her hands lovingly through her dark hair.

Sobs overtake her as she nods her head against the older woman's chest, her hands desperately holding onto her neck.

Kissing the top of her head softly, Nicky tightens her hold on the shaking woman and slowly rocks her. "Shh. Everything's okay, kid; I've got ya," she warmly says against her ear, brushing her finger tips slightly along the edges of it. "It's all gonna be okay, Lorna. I won't leave you, ever. If I have to get your job switched to electrical just to keep my word than I sure as fuck will. There's no way in hell I'm ever lettin' ya do something like this again. You don't deserve to be hurtin'. You are the most precious, beautiful, and sweetest woman in the world; you don't deserve to fucking feel this way!"

Nicky holds Lorna's head softly against her chest, tangling her fingers soothingly through her hair. "I love you, baby. I'm not letting you hurt yourself like this ever again. I fucking mean it. There's no way I can fucking risk losing you, Lorna. You mean everything to me; I've never felt this way about anyone before, except you. You are so, so fucking special, babe. I will not let you just give up on yourself."


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is dark and angsty.

_Chapter Thirteen_

After breakfast the next morning, Lorna finds Suzanne—on her way to yoga class—and has her join her. Once they enter into the rec-room, they get their mats – placing them in Lorna's usual spot in the back of the room. They both begin working on the poses the yoga instructor is demonstrating when Alex comes over with her own mat.

Lorna smiles cheerfully at her two friends, and looks over at the taller one. "Alex, this is Suzanne – the girl I was tellin' ya guys about yesterday." She observes the two as they shake hands and acquaint themselves with one another.

"Your name's Alex?" Suzanne's dark eyes peer widely over towards the black-haired woman. She watches closely as the other nods her head in response. "Gracie's boyfriend was once named Alex—he wasn't that nice. You're a nice Alex, yes?"

"Yeah, I'm a nice Alex—at least I think so," the taller woman answers, laying out her mat with a kind smile on her face.

Suzanne slowly nods her head, keeping her wide eyes in the taller woman's direction while beginning to follow along with the yoga poses. She looks between the two women and asks, "Did the both of you come in together? I ain't seen either of you before I went to psyche."

Shaking her head, the shortest of the three women stares across her mat over to Suzanne. "Oh, no, she came in a couple months after me. I've only been here three months…almost four now, I guess," Lorna answers, beginning to work on the next pose that's demonstrated in the front of the room.

While working through the yoga, a numbness slowly starts to spread up Lorna's leg. She tries to ignore it and continue the stretches, but the sensation only grows stronger. It's so strong that it causes her to fall to her knees – unable to stand with how jelly-like her leg is feeling. Several attempts she makes to get herself back up but ends up failing each time.

Right beside her, Alex instantly notices the struggle the petite inmate seems to be having and quickly walks over to help her. "Is somethin' hurting you? Maybe you should be done with yoga for today and go rest in your bunk," she gently suggests, staring down at the brunette with sympathy in her eyes.

"I'm fine," Lorna insists, though her leg refuses to wake up. "But I think I _will_ head back to my bunk for a bit—I'll see ya guys later." She forces herself to stand up and drags her numb leg along as she rushes out of the room.

* * *

The tingling sensation suddenly moves to Lorna's other leg, which makes walking nearly impossible for her. They both feel like rubber and can't hold her up anymore, causing her to fall while also bumping into another inmate – making her fall as well. "S-sorry," she shakily responds, looking up to see who she's bumped into; when she realizes that it's only Nicky, she feels a bit of relief wash over her.

"Lorna? What's the matter? What's hurting, kid?" Nicky immediately pulls the smaller woman into her arms, staring down at her with deep concern shinning in her big brown eyes. "I know something's botherin' ya, so don't try to act like you're okay." She brushes her hand tenderly through the other's dark hair, giving her an intensely worried look.

"It's really nothin', Nicky," the younger inmate gives a fast response, even though both her legs are so numb they can't hold her up anymore. "Just my legs are asleep is all. Probably from the yoga stretches or somethin'—no big deal."

Carefully, with Lorna secure in her arms, Nicky brings her back to her cube and sits her down on the bed. She sits beside her, taking the brunette's head into her hands and stares firmly into her eyes. "How do ya know that's all it is—what if it's from the cancer? Ya shouldn't be fucking blowing what ya feelin' off like this, kid!" The redhead cries out, tightening her hold on the smaller girl.

Letting out a deep breath, the Italian inmate lifts her head to stare back at Nicky. Her brown eyes—that are usually bubbly—hold a slight darkness to them. "Before we knew my mom was sick with brain cancer, she-she used to get numb l-legs…and, and I just—I don't wanna know what the problem is – I don't wanna end up like my mom! She _can't do a fucking thing_ for herself anymore, _Nicky_ ; all she can do is lie in bed and it-it hurts to see her like that," Lorna tearfully responds, gripping tightly onto the older woman.

Running her fingers soothingly across Lorna's forehead, Nicky gazes compassionately down at her, "Shh, calm down. I know ya don't wanna have the same problem, kid, but ya _can't_ ignore it! If ya do, it will get worse and then you will be in the same boat as your mother… Ya need to go down to medical and have the doctor check ya over. I know you're scared, baby—but your health is important." Her lips press softly against her friend's head as she holds her tight in her arms.

"So you're sayin' I-I have the same problem as my mom—I fuckin' have brain cancer?! No, Nicky, there's no way I have that…I can't have that. I don't wanna end up like my mom," Lorna cries out.

"No, baby, that's not what I'm saying," Nicky softly starts, kissing her head delicately. "I mean that's a strong possibility, but that's something only a doctor can confirm. I want you to be okay, Lorna…and ya won't be okay if you don't take care a yourself. You need to go to the damn physician and tell him every fucking thing that bothers you! Please, kid, don't just do this for me—do this for _yourself_."

Lorna shakes her head, looking away from the other. She taps her hand against the wall and lets out a loud sigh. "Why do I care anyway if I have that or not? I-It's not like I got my son or nothin' waitin' for me anymore…maybe it'd be best for the cancer to just kill me. Don't gotta be trapped in here no more or be a burden to my family when I do get out—maybe this cancer is a good thing, Nicky," her voice emotionlessly speaks as she continues to look elsewhere.

Tears brimming Nicky's eyes, she shakes her head fiercely while pulling her closer to her body. It hurts her heart to hear how Lorna just seems so eager to give up on herself. "Lorna, _stop it_ — _fucking stop_ talking like this," the redhead sternly warns, gazing desperately down at her.

"You are not fucking giving up on yourself, kid. No fucking way will I, or Red, let you! You're way too fucking young to just let this shitty cancer kill ya—and you have your family waitin' for ya when ya get outta here…they love you, Lorna; they don't wanna lose you," she cups the shorter woman's face in her hands and gives her a soft stare, " _I_ don't wanna lose you, baby…I-I love you—I love you so much, Lorna. Not just as a best friend; I love you so much more than that."

Eyes watering with tears, Lorna lightly pushes away from the taller woman. _I love you._ Three words that many people have said to her and every time they've been a lie. Her fiancé—or the man she only considers that to keep herself from falling apart inside—always made sure to tell her that after spending hours forcing himself on her. High school friends would tell her that, only to turn around and stab her in the back by calling her out on her 'too cheerful' attitude.

"Don't—don't say shit ya don't mean, Nicky…I've been told that lie so many times and I refuse to deal with it again," she finally responds as a few sniffles escape her.

"I _do_ mean it, Lorna! I love you with my entire heart," Nicky fiercely proclaims. Her arms pull Lorna back to her body; she kisses her warmly on the cheek, "I would never lie to ya, kid. Come on, ya know I can't be anything but honest with you. My love for you is anything but a lie—ya can ask Tricia if ya don't believe me; the kid knew I loved ya before even I did. Who would fuckin' lie to you about loving you? _Who_ the hell _wouldn't_ love you?"

"Nobody—just forget I mentioned it. Can we just not talk about this right now, please? I-I don't feel that great right now," Lorna tiredly answers, letting out a small yawn.

Sighing, Nicky slowly nods and lies down in the bed—pulling the brunette down with her. She gives an affectionate kiss to her head, wrapping the blanket carefully around them. "You need to sleep, baby; that's why ya ain't feelin' too good—ya need to take it easy. Close your eyes and rest; when ya wake up, you need to go to medical. I will walk ya down there, myself, if I have to," her voice is warm against Lorna's ear.

"You-you'll stay with me while I sleep? I-I kinda don't wanna be alone," the brunette peers up at her with big eyes and wraps her arms desperately around Nicky's neck.

"Course' kid; I'd never leave ya—you should know that by now. Now please close your eyes and sleep; I'll be right here holding ya," Nicky tenderly assures her, letting her hands run softly up and down her back. "I love you so much, baby."

* * *

Red's just finished getting the stew ready for supper when she decides to head down to the bathroom for a quick shower. The smell of cigarette smoke hits her nose as soon as she enters the room, causing her to roll her eyes. She hates those things—they've ruined a lot of her friends' lives in here and those she knows on the outside. Sighing in irritation, she shakes her head and tries to ignore it – at least until she sees her daughter sitting in a stall with one of those dreaded lung-killers in between her fingers.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Nicky?" Red's Russian accent thick with her anger as she marches her way in the stall and harshly takes the cigarette from her daughter's hand. "Do you know how much fucking trouble you'd be in if it was a CO who walked in on this?! You could get more time on your sentence or even thrown down to max—is that what you want?"

"It's a fucking cigarette, ma. Half the COs smoke them," the younger woman responds with annoyance. She folds her arms angrily over her chest, glaring darkly up at her mother.

Placing a firm hand on her shoulder, Red stares fiercely into her daughter's eyes and shakes her head. " _I know_ what the hell it is, Nicky—What I want to know is why the hell you're smoking it?" She mirrors the other's stance by crossing her own arms over her chest, waiting expectantly for an answer.

Rolling her eyes in irritation, Nicky throws her hands up in the air while also letting out a grunt. She hates that her prison mother had to come in here and see her smoking—she just wanted to spend a nice, stress-relieving, hour alone with her cigarette. "Woulda been fuckin' nice to have an hour to myself—to not be bothered while I relieve some damn stress! I'm sick of how fuckin' hard it is to get some damn privacy around here," she grits her teeth in a rage.

"We're in a damn prison, Nicky—we lost our right to privacy the minute we got locked up in here," the Russian chef points out. Her demeanor softens a smidge; she sighs, looking down at her daughter with a slightly concerning expression. "Care to explain what you're stressed over? And why smoking a cigarette is better than talking to me—or anyone for that matter?"

Nicky grunts out a breath. "I'm fuckin' in love with Lorna and she could fucking die, ma! She needs more medical attention than what the fuck she's being provided with—she's sick, really fucking sick and she's scared…and I'm scared for her. I-I don't know what else to do…smoking usually calms me and makes me think more clearly. Ya wouldn't understand that—ya never smoked before, ma."

"You're in love with Lorna?" Red questions with an arched eyebrow—but she's not entirely surprised, she could easily tell that her daughter had some sort of feelings for the young brunette with the gentle way she treats her and how she makes sure to protect her as best she can. "That's no surprise to me – or probably anyone. Smoking isn't gonna help with anything—you need to come talk to me about this stuff and maybe we'll be more productive than your just running off to have a cigarette. I thought you said her sister told you it was just a tumor that they removed? Is there more to the story?"

"Her sister said the doctors weren't fuckin' sure about anything—yeah, they took out some kinda tumor or something but both Lorna and her sister think it's worse! And after how much pain she seemed to be in earlier, I think it's worse too…that's why I fucking made her go get checked by the doctor here."

"What kind of pain was she in, Nicky?" Red gives her a worried glance.

The redhead slightly shrugs her shoulders, not sure if the way Lorna was feeling could be specifically defined as 'pain'. "She said her legs fell asleep during yoga class and they wouldn't wake up—she was trying to make herself walk to her bunk with numb legs and, instead, collapsed into me on her way. And the other night, she woke up having the same fucking problem with her legs! This has to be the cancer, yeah ma?" She taps her foot impatiently against the floor, looking up at her mother with desperate eyes.

Pulling the younger woman into a fierce embrace, Red stares down at her with a caring expression. "The cancer was in her uterus, Nicky…how could that be the cause of her numb legs? She probably just overexerted herself in yoga today. But it's a good thing you had her go down to medical—better to be safe than sorry. I think you're just jumping to conclusions because you love her so much," the Russian chef honestly responds but places a motherly kiss to Nicky's head.

"I'm not jumping to fucking conclusions! Lorna's mom has brain cancer, she told me, and apparently, she started out having the same kind of numbness in her legs…And fuckin' Lorna's scared to death of that—she's trying to ignore the problem because of how bad her mother has it!"

* * *

 The appointed prison physician takes a look through Lorna's recently updated medical files and walks over to where she's sitting. "How are you feeling after being in the hospital for so long? I'm assuming you're having some pain—from the incisions, right?" He gives a thorough look over her, trying to decipher what brought her here this afternoon.

Lorna shakes her head, letting out a frustrated grunt. "I keep gettin' numbness in my legs…and they won't wake up! M-my mom, she—she had the same problem and got diagnosed with brain cancer…Tha-that's not what this is from, is it?! Brain cancer ain't genetic, right?" Her questions are nervously asked as she looks anywhere but at the doctor.

"Rarely, it is. We'd have to get both you and your mom tested to see if there's a genetic problem that could tell us if you'll end up with brain cancer as well. But I highly doubt the prison will allow such a thing—it's way too much money," the doctor gives his honest answer—he knows the prison can't care less about the health of their prisoners.

"But if _it's_ brain cancer and-and ya don't test me and my mom—I'll just end up like her! Please don't-don't make me go through that! My mom can't do anything for herself, I-I don't wanna end up like that…I'll do anything to get tested…I'll even stay in here longer if I have to! Just pl-please don't make me go through what my mom has to," Lorna practically begs the man.

Sighing, the prison-appointed doctor shrugs his shoulders, "I'll see what I can do, Morello. I'm not making any promises, but I'll try to talk to Mr. Caputo about this. For now, just try to rest and not do any strenuous activities. Come back in a couple of days—or sooner if things don't improve."

* * *

Using a pair of rusted—and outdated—crutches that the doctor gave to her, Lorna slowly makes her way to the dining hall for lunch. She sits down at the table – after getting a small tray of food – and tries to put on an optimistic expression in an effort to not get asked questions. "Sorry I had to duck outta yoga early today," she says, looking between Yoga Jones and Alex.

"There's no need to be sorry about that," the yoga instructor kindly responds, taking a bite of soup. "How are you feeling?"

Lorna puts on a cheerful smile, not wanting to deal with anyone's pity or sympathy right now. "Feelin' peachy—might go for a walk outside later, I love the spring weather," she chirps, moving her spoon back and forth in the bowl of watered-down tomato soup.

"What're the crutches for? Are ya still having problems with your legs?" Alex asks, an eyebrow quirked as she stares beside her at the short brunette.

Sitting on the other side of Lorna, Nicky rolls her eyes while wrapping a firm arm around the Italian. "Of course she's still having trouble with her legs—but why the fuck would she admit that? Why the fuck would Lorna ever admit to how she's truly feeling?! God forbid she lets her family fuckin' help her when she obviously needs them! It's not like this is the first time she's done this – let herself suffer alone – nope, fuckin' won't go to anyone when she needs help," her voice casually gets louder. She can feel the anger bubbling up inside her—not directed towards Lorna, but at the fact that she's trying to pretend that everything is fine when it clearly isn't.

"Whoa, okay—uh, let's try to stay calm here," the black-haired inmate tries to coolly intervene.

Tricia nods in agreement on the other side of the table, "Yeah, calm down there Nicky. Ya gonna get yourself a shot if ya keep on yellin' like 'at."

Slamming her fist frustratingly against the table, Nicky fiercely shakes her head while staring harshly at the other women. "No, I'm fuckin' sick of watching Lorna pretend that everything is gonna be fine when that's a bunch a bullshit!" She growls angrily, and turns to stare at Lorna—who's trying desperately hard to hold in her tears—with a stern expression, "You know I'm fuckin' right, kid! You need to face reality and fuckin' take care a yourself—I can't watch ya do this to yourself. So either ya stop denying that you're suffering or I-I'll have to leave…"

Without even making a sound, Lorna jumps up from her seat, harshly picking up her tray, and makes a V-line to the exit—throwing the food out on her way.

Everyone sits silently at the table—their eyes all staring surprisingly at Nicky. "That was kinda harsh, Nicky. The poor girl's just coping with her pain in her own way… Just cause she's smiling and stuff doesn't mean she's denying that she's hurting, ya know?" Alex carefully points out, trying not make the redhead any angrier.

"For fuck sake, do ya really think I'd ever actually leave her? I'm just trying to get the damn kid to realize how important it is to have her family here to take care of her," Nicky rolls her eyes, answering the question as if her intentions were obvious. "The only reason she's afraid to let anyone know that she's obviously in pain is because she " _don't wanna burden no one."_ Her voice nearly mimicking Lorna's when she says the last sentence

"Oh, so you're tryna to push her away just enough to see how much she really needs ya and then she'll come crawlin' back? That's pretty smart a ya, Nichols," Tricia says, her head nodding slowly with each word.

* * *

Trying to walk outside with crutches and too numb legs proves to be quite difficult for Lorna. With the amount of anger she's feeling after such hurtful words that Nicky said to her—the one woman who she assumed to be her actual friend—she wishes she could run around the yard to release some of it. _Running?_ The thought alone is a laugh in her face, she knows. Sighing, she settles for dragging her legs along to her favorite spot in the sun and plops herself down on the grass.

"Lorna? Is that you?" Lorna looks up to see Suzanne hovering over her and can't help but smile at her. At least now she can ignore her problems for a bit and focus on her new friend. She pats the spot next to her, letting the taller woman know she's welcome to join her.

Taking the hint, Suzanne happily sits beside her on the grass and continues, "I kinda got worried when you left yoga class…I don't have a lotta friends in here and I don't wanna do anything to ruin the friendship we have. You're one of the only people who gives me the time a day in here, ya know?"

"You're a real sweet person, hon," Lorna kindly responds, smiling softly at her. She gives a friendly pat to the other's hand and lets out a small sigh. At least—if worse comes to worse—she'll always have Suzanne to count on, even if she's a bit mentally ill. That won't stop Lorna from hanging around her, especially because she knows she has a bit of mental issues herself – so, who is she to judge? "Do ya have a hard time making friends, too?"

"Once ya get thrown in the looney bin, that's all anyone in here remembers about ya. No one wants to be friends with the crazy person—that's me, of course. It's always been that way for me, though…mommy said it's just cause' I'm so special that other people are afraid to be around me because they wish they could be as special as me. But I don't know, sometimes I wonder," the darker-toned woman says, her fingers trailing along in the grass beneath her.

Her brown eyes filled with compassion and empathy, Lorna gently grabs hold of the other's hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. " _I_ wanna be friends with ya, Suzanne. You are special, hon; everyone is. People who don't wanna be friends with ya just cause ya ain't the same are just too shallow and unworthy of your friendship. Don't doubt yourself," she speaks softly, her smile never once leaving her face.

A smile on her own face now, Suzanne nods her head and squeezes Lorna's hand gratefully, "Thanks, Lorna. That really means a lot to me. Ya know, we oughta make a tradition outta this—coming out in the afternoon to sit on the grass and just talk. It's really nice and kinda makes me feel like a normal person for once. You're a wonderful friend…and person."

"Sounds like a nice idea," the bubbly brunette chirps, bobbing her head up and down. Using her crutches to help her stand up, Lorna carefully walks closer to the other and gives her a friendly embrace, "You _are_ a normal person, hon…don't let the mean people make ya feel otherwise, okay? You're good and kind and ya deserve to have friends."

* * *

After spending an hour outside talking with Suzanne, Lorna reluctantly makes herself walk back into the building and find Nicky. She's had enough time to let her words sink in, coming to the realization that maybe somehow, she's right. But before she can even begin to look for rambunctious redhead, a familiar CO blocks her view and makes her heart race dangerously fast.

"Hey there, Lipstick," that voice brings a chilling shiver down the brunette's spine as she stares right into the eyes of her former rapist. Mendez chuckles, letting his eyes search down her body. "Surprised to see me back, are you? Well, obviously, I explained to Mr. Caputo about the misunderstanding—course the fucker didn't believe me, so I took him to court and now he's down a job. There's a new warden in town and boy are you ladies gonna _love_ him!"

Her body trembling, Lorna slowly backs away from him. She can't believe what she's hearing. There's no way this is true—how could they allow this man back here? After Mr. Caputo saw with his own eyes what Mendez was doing to her – how the hell could they take Mendez's word over the own warden of the prison? "N-no! Y-y-you can't be the-the w-warden…y-you're a rapist!"

With a hearty laugh, Mendez shakes his head and harshly grabs the tiny woman by the throat, "I didn't rape ya, whore-face. I received what was rightfully mine after the nice thing I did for you. And of course _I'm_ not the warden—no this guy is much scarier than me, at least he will be for you and your little criminal friends. It's my good ole' pal, Officer Piscatella from boot camp! He loves little Italian women such as yourself." He throws her to the ground and turns the other direction but not before saying one last thing, "Go on and rest up, Lipstick—these next three years are gonna be really busy for you."

* * *

Lorna shakily runs—or tries to—down the hall to Nicky's cube and lets herself collapse onto the ground once she sees that her friend is there. "N-N-Nicky…H-h-h-he-he's back and-and—" Sobs overtake the brunette's body as she convulses violently against the cold tile floor.

Immediately, Nicky is by her side. Her arms wrap fiercely around her small waist, pulling her up to her chest. "Calm down…calm down, baby. Take a deep breath and tell me what's going on, sweetie," she softly says against her ear, pressing comforting kisses all along her face while staring worriedly down into her frightened eyes.

"Men-Mendez—he-he's – I just-I just saw him, Nicky! He's here and I'm-I'm scared…He said there's a new-a new warden, his-his friend," Lorna chokes out. She desperately tries to hide her face in the older woman's chest, her arms wrapped tight around her neck.

"Baby, are ya sure ya saw him? That piece of shit raped you and Caputo fuckin' saw it—there's no way in hell he'd let that asshole back in here," Nicky becomes even more concerned, squeezing her own arms protectively around Lorna's waist. She gives another soothing kiss to her forehead and brings her over to the bed, gently laying her in it. "How about ya just lay here and have a little nap, yeah? You need to calm down, kid. I think you're just a bit too emotional right now, sweetie—close your eyes and try to relax. You're okay, Lorna; I'm here, I'm not letting anyone touch you. You're safe with me…you're always safe with me, baby."

Shaking her head harshly, Lorna urgently reaches out for Nicky—too afraid to fall asleep without the redhead by her side. "P-please-please h-hold me, N-Nicky? I-I don't wanna be alone…he's gonna come find me and rape me until I get outta here! And there's this new warden that's his friend and he-he'll let it happen…Mendez says he m-might even r-rape me too! I-I can't survive this again, don't make me…Please Nicky, do-don't make me go through this again—I don't want to," she cries out, grabbing deathly tight onto the taller woman's shoulders.

Nicky quickly gets in the bed beside the hysterical brunette and scoops her up against her chest, running her hand slowly up and down her back. "I'm right here, kid. It's gonna be okay, just snuggle yourself into my body as much as ya can and try to get some sleep. You gotta calm down, babe…you're gonna start to hyperventilate if you keep getting yourself more worked up. I know you're really scared, and believe me kid you have every fuckin' right to be, but I need you to calm down. Take deep breaths and close your eyes," she whispers lovingly into her ear, wrapping the blanket snug around the two of them.

"I will not let ya get hurt, baby…you have to trust me. I love you, Lorna, there's no way in hell I'll let you go through that shit again. I will do whatever I need to do to protect ya and keep you safe—I'm definitely gonna have to get your job switched to electrical so that you're with me at all times. You cannot go back to that van, not if Mendez is back. Now, please, just close your eyes and relax…you're okay, Lorna; I have ya and I won't let you outta my arms. Go to sleep, sweetie; we'll figure everything out later, once you're less hysterical."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains rape, torture/violence, hate speech, and some strong fluff/comfort towards the end.

_Chapter Fourteen_

Lorna wakes in the wee hours of the morning a sweaty, shaken, mess. She bolts up in bed, looking frantically around the room. Now that Mendez is back, she can barely think straight or sleep without seeing his smirking face. The thought that he can come drag her away at any moment terrorizes her entire being with fear. There's no way she can go through all that abuse again—she knows she can't handle it.

Seeing only Red asleep in the bed across her cube, she lets out a relieving breath. To calm herself, Lorna decides to take a quick walk to the bathroom and rinse her face with warm water. As she makes the slow walk down to the restroom, she gets a small glimpse of Mendez and nearly loses her footing. Her heart pounds alarmingly fast inside her chest. She tries to sneak her way by without his noticing.

" _Inmate!_ " He shouts, making her freeze up in her spot. "What the fuck do you think you're doing outta your cube?" His breath is in her face as he walks closer towards her. Grabbing her harshly by the shoulders, he stares darkly into her naïve eyes.

Feeling her body trembling, Lorna looks up at him in horror. She tries to wiggle her way out of his grasp but is too weak to do so. "P-please let me go…I just needa use the bathroom," she quietly pleads.

Mendez gives her body an angry shake as he continues to glare at her. "I ain't through with you, Lipstick—ya think what I did to ya before was torture? Just wait; I have much more in store for ya this year. And don't even bother telling that little druggie friend a yours cause' there ain't nothin' she can do to stop me," he chuckles, a cold smirk on his face. He lets a hand roughly grab at her before he pushes her to the ground and walks in the other direction.

Shakily, Lorna continues her journey down the hallway to the restrooms. When she gets in there, she goes over to the sink and starts splashing warm water onto her face. "I-I can't do this—please, please let this just be some sorta nightmare," her voice barely louder than a whisper. She takes a few minutes to stare sadly at her reflection in the mirror and sighs. If only this was a nightmare, she thinks.

"Lorna?" Alex's voice questions as she emerges from one of the stalls. She quickly comes over to the sinks, washing her hands in the one closest to the somewhat quivering brunette. Her eyes peer over at the other with slight concern, "Are you okay? Ya kinda look like you've seen a ghost or somethin'."

"I'm fine, just couldn't sleep," Lorna instantly answers, drying her face with a paper towel.

Looking her over, the taller woman doesn't believe a word that comes out of her mouth. She lets out sigh, finishing washing her hands and drying them. "Ya sure you're okay? You really don't look it, Lorna. Did something happen?"

"I just—I don't wanna talk about it right now. I'm just gonna stay in here for a bit and then, hopefully, I'll be able to fall asleep. So ya know, ya can go. I'll see ya in yoga in the morning," the Italian inmate urgently replies, trying desperately to get Alex to leave the room.

Alex shakes her head while staring firmly into her eyes, "I think the last thing ya need is to be in this bathroom alone at night. I'm not leaving you in here by yourself. I'll just wait here til' you're done doing whatever ya gotta do."

Irritated, Lorna shakes her head violently. She gives her a hard glance with her hands gripping knuckle-paling tightly onto the rim of the counter, "Did Nicky set ya up to do this or somethin'? I don't needa be babysat or nothin',  _I'm fine!_ " Her tone desperate with agitation.

Letting out a sigh, Alex realizes there's not much of a point in lying. She slowly nods her head. "She's really worried about ya, Lorna—we all are. Ever since ya came back from the hospital, ya haven't really been the same and we all just want you to be okay," the black-haired woman cautiously says, placing a comforting hand atop Lorna's shoulder.

"I-I'd be more okay if-if…uh, never mind. I-I'm just gonna go back to my bunk now," she hesitantly states, slowly backing towards the door.

"No, don't never mind. What's the problem? What would make you feel more okay?"

Lorna shakes her head, looking sadly down at her feet. "It don't matter anyway – not like you or Nicky or Red or anyone—for that matter—can stop it from happening. There's really no point."

"Lorna, what are ya talking about? What the hell's gonna happen? You're not really making sense…I think I'll help you back to your cube so you can get back to sleep—ya obviously need it," Alex wraps a friendly arm around the shorter woman's shoulder and starts guiding her out of the bathroom in the direction of the dorms.

"It's not that simple, though. Sleep ain't gonna stop it from happening either. Ya remember when I was pregnant and told ya that one of the COs was the cause?" The brunette inquiries, watching as the other slowly nods in response. "Well, he-he's back. And there's a new warden—his friend…and that-that means there ain't nothing no one can do to stop him from doing whatever the fuck he wants. T-these next three years are gonna be hell in here."

Stopping mid-step, Alex turns to look at her with a deeply worried expression showing on her face. "Lorna, are ya sure about this? I think maybe ya might just be a bit overly tired and probably seeing things…there's no new COs and definitely not a warden," she gently assures her, wrapping an arm loosely around her shoulder and helping her towards the dorms.

Shaking her head violently, Lorna's eyes peer widely up at the taller woman, "I'm  _not_ seeing things!  _He's real_ , Alex—I swear to God he-he grabbed me on my way to the bathroom and told me how he plans to make these three years hell! H-he's gonna fucking do it all over again and there won't be anyway to stop him this time—he'll never leave me alone!" She grips tightly—almost desperately—onto the older woman's arm, fearful that they'll run in to him at any given moment.

Alarmed with concern, the black-haired woman only tightens her hold on Lorna, trying to console her somehow. She runs a hand comfortingly around her back in a circle as she stares worriedly down at her, "Okay, kid, okay—I believe ya. Calm down, okay? I'm gonna bring ya to Nicky's cube; you obviously need her right now."

* * *

They finally make it to Nicky's cube—fortunately unseen by any COs—and Alex gently taps the sleeping redhead on the head, hoping to somehow lure her out of her sleep. "Nicky… _Nicky, wake up_ ," she cautiously calls out, continuing to lightly tap her.

"Go away, it's night," the redhead irritatingly grumbles, burying herself deeper under the blanket.

Alex lets out a sigh and gives a bit of a harder tap. "Come on, Nicky, you need to wake up. Lorna needs you—she's kinda hysterical right now, and you're the only one who can calm her," she nudges her, trying to get her to fully wake up.

Nicky grunts out a breath before opening her eyes and staring up at the two women. Her heart aches when she sees the fear in Lorna's eyes; immediately, she pats her chest and holds out her arms, "Mmkay, lay her right ere'. I'll take care a her. Just give her to me and be on your way, Alex." She tiredly watches as the taller woman carefully places the brunette into her waiting arms and then leaves shortly after.

Kissing her lightly on the head, Nicky wraps her arms snug around her while also pulling the blanket up to cover the both of them. "What happened, baby? Ya have a nightmare or somethin', yeah?" She brushes her knuckles softly against Lorna's porcelain cheek.

"Me-Mendez—I can't, Nicky,  _I can't_ ," Lorna timidly cries out, burying her face into the warmth the redhead's body provides her with.

"Shh, shh," Nicky soothes against her ear. She rubs her cheek lovingly with her thumb, staring softly down at her. "No Mendez tonight, sweetie. Ya just close your eyes and sleep; I won't let him come near ya. Trust me, baby, you have to. I love you so much. I'll keep you safe…I promise."

* * *

 

Lorna awakens the next morning in a trance-like state. She pops up in the bed, her eyes dazingly looking right ahead into the middle of the dorm area. A tiny glimpse of Mendez's face catches her off-guard and causes her to fall of the edge of the bed. Unfortunately, the fall causes a loud thud to be heard throughout the entire room and not only awakens Nicky but also has Mendez come walking over to inspect the culprit.

Automatically—a decision made mostly out of terror—Lorna tries to run out of the dorms, not wanting to be seen by the CO. The forceful grab on her arm stops her instantly and has her face fill with anguish. "Ya really think you can outsmart me, Lipstick?" His breath hot on her face, staring hungrily down at her. "What the fuck do you think you were doing in the druggie's bunk, huh? I think that warrants you a shot  _and_  I'm gonna teach ya a lesson for that!" He yells, starting to yank her out of the room.

Rage bubbling up inside her, Nicky jumps out of her bed and jogs her way over to them. She harshly grabs onto his leg, trying desperately to stop him from having a chance to harm Lorna. "Leave her the fuck alone! You're a  _rapist_ —you have no right to be in charge of anyone! There's no way I will let you do another thing to Lorna—you fuckin' already abused her way too much, you're not doing it again," she growls darkly, looking up at him with venom seeping through her big brown orbs.

"Excuse you,  _inmate_? You wanna be thrown in the SHU? I don't give a fuck what you think—you're just a little criminal, you all are and you will do as I say. I give the orders around here, little junkie girl!" Mendez harshly shakes Nicky's grasp off of him and holds tighter onto the shaking brunette's wrists.

Nicky's eyes darken. "You can throw me wherever the fuck ya want, but ya ain't puttin' another one a your filthy hands on Lorna—I'll fuckin' kill ya before I let that happen," she hisses, ready to attack. Suddenly, there's a gentle touch to her shoulder. She looks behind her to see Red standing there with both a worried and rage-driven expression on her face.

Keeping a firm grip on her daughter, Red glares heavily over towards Mendez. "What the actual hell are you doing back here? You fucking raped and abused that poor child multiple times—how the fuck are you allowed to be a CO again?! You're a sick, filthy, rapist!" Her voice maliciously shouts; she can feel her teeth clattering angrily together.

"You two seem to forget that I'm the officer here and the only one who has the right to speak," he smirks, squeezing his hands even tighter around Lorna's wrists—so tight that it leaves his handprints on them. "Oh, are you gonna be happy to hear this then—Mr. Caputo ain't the warden anymore! Son of a bitch refused to accept that this piece of shit inmate was the one forcing herself on me! Anyway, making a long story short, I rightfully got hired back and now there's a new warden in town—one who ain't gonna put up with the bullshit you idiot women seem to have no trouble causing round' here!"

"Oh bullshit—you're not fooling anyone with that, Mendez; there's no way in hell you would be hired back after Caputo blatantly saw you on top of a naked Lorna! This is absolute nonsense—you better just get your hands off that poor girl and crawl back to the hole you came outta." Red's words are coldly thrown out at the man. Her hands balled into fists at her sides.

Mendez only chuckles. "You better shut up—I don't think the new warden's gonna like hearing about this…talkin' back to officers, that's gonna get ya in some deep shit, Reznikov.  _And_  the little druggie daughter a yours locked up in the SHU. I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you," he hotly says, smirking devilishly between she and Nicky.

"You leave my daughter alone, ya hear me? Fucking scum-bucket; you can do whatever the hell you want to me, but you better just leave Nicky out of this! And you had better get your hands off of Lorna right this minute—you are not going to do anything more to that poor woman," Red's Russian accent thickened in her strong fury.

Shaking his head, Mendez smirks while turning to walk out of the dorms with the horrified brunette in his grip. "There ain't nothin' the two of you boneheads can do to stop me—you lousy criminals," he lets out a taunting laugh before he finally exits out of the room.

* * *

With Lorna still in his tight hold, Mendez makes his way down the secluded hallway that leads to the warden's office. He carries her over to the desk, throwing her harshly on the chair adjacent to it. "Looks like we have a disobedient inmate on our hands right here—found her sleeping in a bunk that ain't hers," he chuckles, a hungry gleam in his eyes.

The warden lifts his head from the computer screen to stare up at his coworker with a gruff expression on his face. His blue eyes move slowly towards the tiny brunette inmate sitting in the chair across from him, gazing piercingly at her. "Is that right? Huh, we can't have that—not in my prison. What do you think a good punishment for her would be, Mendez?"

"We oughta teach the whore-face a lesson," the CO longingly responds, his eyes giving sexualizing glances over to the terrified inmate. He walks closer towards her, letting his fingers trace roughly along the length of her body.

Mr. Piscatella folds his arms over his chest with a light smirk on his face. He gives a shrug, "What kind of a lesson do you have in mind? Locking her up in the SHU? Could starve her and deprive her of water to make it more effective."

Mendez nods slowly, pulling the young woman back up from the seat. "First, maybe we oughta have some fun with her—have some sex with her and make her squirm a little bit, don't ya think? Throwing her in the SHU is just giving her the easy way out!" He looks hungrily down at the trembling brunette, giving her a menacing wink.

"Do whatever you gotta do, Mendez—I ain't gonna stop you, just make sure ya lock her up when you're finished!"

* * *

 

"I can't believe they fuckin' let that filthy Mendez back here! What the hell's wrong with this place?" Tricia speaks through a mouthful of food. She looks across from her at Nicky, who's barely touched any of her breakfast, and sighs. "Isn't there somethin' we can do to help Morello?"

Nicky groans, pushing her fork furiously around her plate. "This whole fuckin' prison is corrupted, that's why! He's a damn sex offender, he should be rotting in his own prison cell—not fucking working in an all-women's one! And now he's gonna fuckin' abuse Lorna even more—she's gonna be so psychologically damaged when she gets outta here, it's sickening to think about," she shouts, squeezing the fork so hard that it breaks in half. "I have no fucking idea what we can do to help her—the fuckin' warden is best buddies with sleazy-ass  _Mendez!"_

"Well,  _fuck,_ " Tricia sighs. "What he do with her? Musta taken her somewhere private so he can rape her, I'm sure…that nasty dick with legs!"

Rolling her eyes bitterly, Nicky shrugs. "He dragged her off somewhere—I'm sure that's exactly what that fucker's doin' with her! I wish I could just fucking take a knife and stab him with it until he's dead in a pool of his own blood," her voice shakes with rage.

Sitting down beside the infuriated redhead, Alex gives a worried stare between she and Tricia. "Who are you plotting to kill—and why?"

"Mendez," the blonde answers quickly, looking unnervingly down at her food. "Nicky watched him drag away Morello!"

Alex clasps her hand over her mouth in disbelief. " _Oh shit_ —I ran into Lorna in the bathroom last night and she was all hysterical about how this Mendez guy is back…I didn't really believe her, kinda thought she mighta just been overly tired or somethin'.  _Fuck_ ; so he really is back here?"

"Honestly, I kinda didn't believe her at first either. I figured she mighta just been hallucinating it cause ya know—why the fuck would they allow a rapist to come back here?" Nicky slams her hands brusquely against the top of the table. "And what makes this fuckin' worse is the fact that the warden is friends with Mendez—he'll let him do whatever the fuck he wants and there's no way we can stop him!"

Tricia shakes her head, "We gotta try something, Nicky. You don't want the woman ya love to be completely destroyed when she gets out, do ya?"

Sighing defeatedly, Nicky nods her head knowingly. Of course she doesn't want Lorna to have to suffer endlessly for the next three years—yet she also knows she has no clue what she or any of them can do to stop Mendez from abusing her. It's not like they're out in the real world where they can call the police and have him arrested. "Course' I don't want that sweet girl to deal with this shit again, Trish! But what the fuck is there for us to do? It's a lose-lose situation," she grumbles.

* * *

 

Mendez ominously drags Lorna down to a secluded custodial closet. He slams the door shut behind them and locks it for safety measures. Pushing her to the ground, he stands over her and pins her down with his knees. "Thought I was joking, huh Lipstick? I told ya that junkie dyke friend a yours couldn't stop me…and neither can Red! I'm the one in charge here, whore-face. You hear me? I do the talking and anything else I please," he shouts hotly in her face, letting his hands grope around her genital area.

"Y-you got me pre-pregnant, y-ya know? I had a rapist's baby in-inside me and-and then I got a tumor in my uterus—my babies are all dead because of that…And now I can never get pregnant again because of  _you_ ," Lorna shakily says, her eyes peering horrifically up into her former rapist's darkened eyes. It breaks her to find herself in this predicament all over again. She knows there's only so much she can take before she just completely destructs.

"First of all, whore-face, I ain't a rapist. You owed me the sex and ya still do. Second, why are my flesh-n-blood dead? Did you murder them, ya little bitch? You killed my innocent babies! Oh hell no—now you're really gonna get it," he growls, slapping her roughly on the cheek. He quickly undresses his bottom half and allows himself to sharply start thrusting inside of her, making sure it's excruciatingly painful for her.

Her eyes squeeze tightly shut as tears slowly start to fall from them. The stinging on her cheek gets worse from the salt of her tears running along it. She screams in agony at the horrific amount of pain that Mendez's thrusting is causing against her still semi-bruised genital region. "I-I would ne-never kill my babies…even if some terrible man like you is their father—the tumor killed them – no, you killed them," she whispers hoarsely.

Thrusting deeper and faster inside of her, Mendez takes his hands and moves them up to her stomach. He pushes roughly onto it, smirking when he sees her yelp out in obvious pain. "Keep your whore mouth shut, Lipstick—you baby killer you! We both know it's your fault their dead and I swear to ya I'll make your life hell for that," he hisses, grabbing tightly onto her stomach and squeezing it harshly. Her painful squeals make him laugh in pleasure.

* * *

 

Hours pass, Lorna finds herself all alone in the closet when her eyes finally open. She feels somewhat relieved to see that Mendez is no where in sight, but when she looks down at her body, she notices her hands are tied up and chained against the wall on either side of her. She looks around, trying to take in her surroundings, and realizes that she is still in the closet. At least, she can try to get the attention of fellow inmates by screaming or kicking the door.

Even though she fears screaming may cause Mendez to come back for her, she knows she has no other option of escaping if she doesn't do so. Her legs kick loudly against the door as she lets out a blood-curdling scream. Several anxious moments go by before the sound of the doorknob shaking back and fourth has her squeeze her eyes shut. She uneasily braces herself for what's to come. If that's Mendez, she knows the outcome won't be in her favor.

The sound of footsteps quickly coming towards her has her finally open her eyes to see who it is. The sight of Nicky standing over her immediately has her eyes well with grateful tears. She stares up at her, desperation and fear clearly shining through her brown orbs. "H-help m-me," Lorna softly cries out, tilting her head towards her tied up hands.

"Of course, baby. I'm gonna help ya," Nicky huskily responds with her own tears starting to pour from her eyes. She immediately goes over to her right side, hurriedly untying her hand and bringing to her lips for a soothing kiss. She does the same thing with her other hand, kissing it, too, once she's got it untied. "How bad did he hurt you, sweetie? What's hurting? Tell me,  _show_  me."

Lorna nervously shakes her head, tilting it towards the door, "Ya have to close it and lock it, please…he could see us and-and come in here—just please shut it, I don't feel safe with it open!" She cries, but won't release her desperate grip from Nicky's body.

Wrapping her arms snug around the brunette's tiny body, Nicky sighs and does exactly what's asked of her before she sits them both down on the cold tile floor. "It's locked now, baby, don't be scared. Please don't be scared—I'm right here, kid, I won't let anything else happen to ya…not tonight, anyway," she gently soothes, laying the shaking Italian carefully against her own body. Her hands run comfortingly through her short brown hair, trying terribly hard to bring her any amount of comfort she can.

"Can ya show me where he hurt you? Did he—did he rape you, Lorna?"

Lorna weakly nods, pointing down to her stomach. She timidly lifts her shirt to show the other and nearly gasps herself when she notices the damage that's been down to her—the damage that's been caused to her already bruised stomach. "H-he got mad w-when I told him about how he made me pregnant and-and that the babies were dead…so he-he grabbed and pushed on my stomach and squeezed it so hard, I-I thought my organs were gonna pop out,  _Nicky_!"

Nicky's eyes water up at the terrifying colors that make up her best friend's skin. She lovingly strokes her fingertips against the bruises, bending her face down to press soft kisses along it. "My poor baby," she gently cries out, her eyes peering sadly down at the woman she loves so deeply. "How could anyone have the nerve to hurt someone as sweet and precious as my gorgeous Lorna?! How can he fuckin' do this to my baby? You're still fuckin' healing from having your abdomen cut into and then this shithead decides to fuckin' squeeze and push on it!? He's goddamn lucky he didn't cause ya to have a hernia or anything—that fucking scumbag!"

Taking a deep breath, Nicky sighs and softens her face back down to keep the other calm. "How bad does it hurt, sweetie? I'm sure it doesn't feel that great. Poor kid, looks like ya've been run over by a truck or something. I'm so sorry, baby," she whispers, continuing to closely examine the bruising abdomen and nearly flinching at how red and inflamed Lorna's incisions seem to be. She gives another soft kiss to it, caressing it lightly with her knuckles.

Lorna instinctively grabs onto the redhead, burying her face deep into the crook of her neck. "Stings real bad…I just—I wanna sleep, I'm so exhausted, Nicky. I can't-I can't do this, I just can't.

"I'm sure it does, kid. It looks infected, your whole stomach—that asshole fucking did this to you," Nicky lowly growls, rage bubbling at the horrifying image of Mendez actually torturing the love of her life. The thought alone makes her want to murder him.

She sighs, though, and settles for trying to comfort her best friend. She takes Lorna's head in her hands—kissing her lovingly on the lips—and carefully lays it on her chest, running a hand tenderly through her hair, "Sleep, Lorna. It's okay; I'm not leaving your side. The door is locked, there's no way for Mendez to get in here. I promise. Don't be afraid to close your eyes, baby. I won't let go of you, if that makes ya feel any safer. I will hold you as long as you need me to. You're not gonna do anything alone; I'm here with ya now. I will be here with you through whatever else that dickhead tries to do you, and I will protect you from him. I fucking mean it this time, baby; I am not letting him do another damn thing to you. I love you way too much to let you get hurt anymore—you're already too frail, Lorna." Nicky speaks softly against her ear, kissing her soothingly on the head.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is full of dark and angsty themes. Mentioned rape, solitary confinement, forced to witness rape, and some suicidal thoughts.

_Chapter Fifteen_

Loud banging on the closet door awakens both inmates later in the night. "You better open this damn door, whore-face! How the fuck did ya even unlock it—you fuckin' untied yourself?! You're gonna be sorry for this," Mendez's voice growls on the other side. The banging continues to grow louder.

Terror instantly takes over Lorna's entire body; she grips tighter onto the redhead who lies beneath her. Her body trembles fiercely at the thought of what Mendez will do to her now—or what he might try to do to Nicky. She should have kept her mouth shut and not dragged her friend into this; she can't handle anything happening to the other.

Wrapping her arms snugger around the brunette's body, Nicky gives a comforting kiss to her forehead and stares softly into her eyes. "Shh, calm down—I'm not lettin' him do another thing to ya. Just keep quiet, kid," she whispers soothingly against Lorna's ear. Her fingers brush delicately along the younger woman's cheek.

"Don't act like you can't hear me—I know you're fuckin' in there, ya slut! I swear to God if ya don't open this damn door, I will do even worse to you than what I already have planned," Mendez hisses while continuing to bang on the door.

Nicky gently uses her hand to cover over the brunette's mouth to keep her from making any loud sounds. She brushes her fingers soothingly through her short hair and looks around the closet for somewhere to hide themselves. Finding an old – rusted-out – bookshelf behind a pile of worn-out prison clothes, she quietly carries the terrified Italian over there.

"Shh, try not to make a sound. He has to go away eventually…I hope," Nicky whispers into her ear. Her arms wrap tight around the shorter woman's waist, keeping her close against her own body as the two of them crouch together on the bottom shelf of the bookshelf—hidden by the pile of clothes. "I love you, Lorna. I love you so much, please always remember that."

Gripping deathly-tight onto the redhead's shoulders, Lorna stares up into her big eyes in fear. She nods her head profusely and very faintly whispers, "I-I love ya too, Nicky. I-I don't want Mendez to come in here and do anything to us…he'll throw us both in-in the SHU!"

Smothering her forehead and cheeks in soft kisses, Nicky shakes her head while peering softly down at her. "Calm down, baby; I'm not gonna let him do anything to us, okay? We just gotta hide out in here until he goes away. And, ya know, if somehow we do get sent there—I promise it won't be that bad. Just try to stay calm and quiet—I know you're scared, sweetie, but if he hears you let out a cry or anything we'll be in deep shit," she warmly whispers, brushing her fingers lovingly against the other's face.

The sound of the door falling to the ground causes immediate fear to rise within both women—Nicky tightens her hold on Lorna, making sure to keep her mouth covered.

Mendez furiously looks throughout the closet for the Italian inmate. "You can't hide from me, whore-face! I  _will_  find you and when I do, you're dead-meat! You hear me?" His voice roars through the air as he walks slowly around the room. When he doesn't come across anything out of the ordinary, he lets a grunt and quickly leaves the closet to continue to 'look' for her.

Lorna gazes worriedly up at the redhead, her hands gripping tightly onto her shoulders. "W-what do we do now, Nicky? D-do we have to hide in here forever?"

" _Hey_ , babe, calm down. We're not gonna hide here forever but we can't go out right now—he'll see you and hurt you and I will not let that happen. Let's just stay here til' morning and we'll figure out what to do next. Try to get some sleep, baby; I'll be right here," the redhead softly soothes into her ear, pressing her lips warm against her forehead.

Shaking her head, the brunette stares desperately up into Nicky's eyes. Her fingertips slightly dig into her shoulders with how tight her hold is. "I-I'm sorry, Nicky," Lorna's voice shakes through a rack of sniffles.

" _You're_  sorry?" Nicky gazes softly down at her with a concerned expression displayed across her face. She allows her fingers to gently brush against the brunette's cheek, "What the hell do ya have to be sorry for, kid? Please don't fuckin' be blaming yourself for any of this shit—I swear to God Lorna, ya better not!"

"I-It is kinda my fault though…if-if I wouldn't a screamed ya wouldn't be stuck here too—I'm real sorry for getting you into my mess, Nicky," the brunette sniffles, gazing anywhere but at her friend's face. She hates herself for dragging the older woman into her problems yet again.

Cupping her hands delicately around Lorna's head, the redhead peers warmly into her eyes. She presses a soothing kiss onto her forehead and shakes her head sadly. "Lorna…baby, none of this is your fault! What—you think you'd be better off locked away in here all by yourself? Are ya kidding me? I'm glad I found ya in here—I wanna be here with you and do what ever the fuck I can to keep ya safe. I don't care what I have to go through, kid, I just want you to be safe and okay," she soothes lovingly into her ear.

* * *

 

Early in the morning, Lorna awakens to the strong sensation of needles prickling through both her legs. She instantly lets out a quiet cry, staring down to see what might be the culprit. All she sees are her two legs. A sigh escapes. She looks up at Nicky, who's still sound asleep, and gives a gentle tap to her shoulder. " _Nicky_ …" Her voice softly calls out.

The feeling of someone touching her instantly has Nicky's eyes pop open. When her eyes meet with Lorna's, she gives a tender stroke to her face, "What's the matter, baby?"

"Can't feel my legs again—they're numb and tingly. And I need to go use the bathroom but-but I don't want Men-Mendez to see me a-and I don't think I can walk…wh-what do I do?!"

"You're gonna let me take care of ya and carry ya to the bathroom. I'll make sure he doesn't see you—I'll kill him before I ever let him put another one a his filthy hands on you," Nicky grunts coldly. Her arms wrap protectively around the shorter woman's waist and carefully stands up with her. She gently starts carrying her out of the closet and in the direction of the restrooms.

A five minute—devious—walk later, the two finally make it into the bathroom. Nicky carefully leads Lorna to a stall – helping her to sit down – and guards the door for her. She hears footsteps entering the room which causes her to tense up in worry. Though when she sees that it's only Alex, she lets out a relieving breath of air.

"Nicky?" Alex's voice questions as she slowly walks towards where the redhead's standing. She gives a confused glance, looking between her and the stall that she seems to be guarding. "Who's in there? Is it—did ya find Lorna?"

Nicky puts a finger to her lip but gives a small nod to the question. "Yes, but keep your voice down. Trying to keep Mendez from finding her—that piece of shit has done enough damage to her!" She lets out an angry groan; the thought alone of what he's done to the woman she loves makes her heart feel heavy.

"Would ya mind staying here with her for a sec? I'm gonna go find Red real quick—I'll be right back," the redhead frantically wonders. When she receives a nod, she quickly makes her way out of the room to find her prison mother.

Silent moments pass by with Alex awkwardly standing in front of the stall. She gives a gentle knock to it, "You okay in there, Lorna?"

"I'm fine—but I ain't comin' back out until Nicky's here. I don't want M-Mendez to s-see me," her voice quivers on the other side of the stall.

Alex lets out a sad sigh. Her eyes focus down on the ground; she can't begin to imagine what this young woman must have gone through this past night. The fear that emanates through her voice brings a pain to her heart. "Okay, whatever makes ya feel most safe. Just know I'll be right here making sure that he doesn't have the chance to find out you're in here."

* * *

 

"Oh Nicky, thank God," Red gratefully cries out when she sees her daughter walk into her bunk. Immediately she has her arms wrapped tight around the younger woman's waist. "Where the hell were you last night? Please do not tell me you murdered Mendez!" She firmly speaks but gives a loving kiss to the top of her head.

Nicky finally allows some of her emotions to pour out, snuggling closer in her mother's comforting embrace. "I wish that motherfucker was dead,  _fuck do I wish that_!" She angrily sobs out, gripping tightly onto the older woman. "I was walking around and heard a scream—instantly knew it was Lorna, and found her locked in an abandoned janitor closet…poor baby was handcuffed and tied to the wall! I stayed with her to make sure he wouldn't come back to hurt her again."

Red's heart swells for both women. Her arms tighten around the redhead as she stares firmly into her big brown eyes, "So, where's Lorna now? You didn't leave her there, right? What the hell did Mendez do to her this time?! Oh God, I can't even imagine what that poor child must be feeling…How much abuse can one person stand?"

"Hell no I didn't leave her there—ya think I would do that to her? She had to go to the bathroom so I brought her there and then Alex came in—she's guarding the stall for me. I wanted to come find you and bring you back there…we need your help, ma, we need to figure out how to keep him from taking her again!"

Giving a comforting pat to the younger woman's back, Red nods her head slowly. "Of course, my sweet daughter, I'll always be here to help the two of you. Let's go back to the restroom and see what we can do," she gently suggests, wrapping a comforting arm around her daughter's shoulder and guiding her out of the dorms.

* * *

 

The two red-haired inmates cautiously enter back into the bathroom, making their way over to the stall that Alex is anxiously standing in front of. Nicky gives a thankful nod to the tall inmate before gently knocking on the door of the stall, "Lorna, you ready to come out? I'm back and I brought Red. Come on, kid, no one's here but the four of us. You'll be safe." Her voice lovingly calls out.

"Nicky—I can't stand up…my legs are real numb they won't even move," Lorna tearfully answers, staring shamefully down at her feet.

The redhead feels her heart ache for her friend. It brings deep concern to wash over her to hear this. There's something not right with the young inmate and she has a feeling that it's from the cancer's spreading. "Can ya reach the lock and unlock the door?" She softly inquiries, listening at the sound of the lock being unlatched.

Gently, Nicky opens the stall door just wide enough for herself to walk in. The sight of fresh tears and humiliation on her best friend's face immediately overwhelms her with empathy. She walks closer to her—after shutting the door—and cups her hands lovingly around her face, " _Don't_  be ashamed or embarrassed, baby. You are absolutely the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And I will do whatever I can to take care of ya. You're my love; I want to help you."

The brunette shakes her head, keeping her eyes focused on the floor beneath them. "I-I can't, Nicky…I can't burden you—no way can I do that to ya, hon. I h-have too many problems for you to be bothered with. Just leave me here and let Mendez do what he wants; maybe he'll kill me and I won't have to be here to burden anyone anymore. And at least that way I won't have to suffer through what my mom suffers—cause I'm pretty sure I got brain cancer too. I'm not worth the trouble for anyone," she shakily says, tears overflowing along her cheekbones.

Hearing this has Nicky immediately pull the broken woman into her arms – after gently helping to pull her pants back up – and staring firmly down into her brown orbs. "You better stop with this shit, kid. You are not a damn burden to me—I fucking love you with every damn bone in my body! I will sure as fuck  _not_  leave you to fend for yourself—are ya kidding me?! You have just as many problems as I have and you still stay with me so what the hell makes ya think I'd ever wanna leave you? Someone's gotta take care of ya and protect you, Lorna; and that's gonna be me. I don't wanna leave you," she whispers warmly against the other's ear, holding her tight against her chest.

"Do you really wanna be stuck with someone like me, Nicky? Someone who will probably end up not even able to do anything for herself—I don't wanna fuckin' end up like that! And if I do—because I can guarantee I have the same illness as my mom—I don't want you or anyone to be burdened with me. It's not fair," the shorter woman cries out, looking pleadingly up into the redhead's eyes.

"I love you, Lorna; I don't care if ya do end up as bad as your mother…that won't fuckin' change my feelings for you," she firmly assures her, pressing a loving kiss to the top of her head. Her brown eyes pour affectionately down into the other's. She lets out a small sigh. "I know, babe, I know ya don't wanna end up like her. I don't want you too, either, because I know how much suffering it would cause ya. But if ya do, I want you to understand that I will continue to love you and do whatever the hell I can to care for ya. I love taking care of ya, kid; you're so precious to me."

Lorna feels a few more tears come rolling down her face. She lets herself cling desperately to the older woman, burying her face in the crook of her neck and giving a small kiss to it. "I-I love ya too, Nicky," her voice breathily says, the crying slowly fading into shaky sniffles.

Lovingly wiping away the petite woman's tears, Nicky kisses her tenderly on the lips. "Ya ready to get outta this stall now, baby? No more of this burden shit, you got that kid?" She gives a tight squeeze to Lorna before unlocking the door and letting the two of them out.

They head over to the bench where Red and Alex are sitting—Nicky carefully helping the brunette to sit down and then taking the spot next to her for herself. Her hand wraps lovingly around Lorna's, giving it a soothing squeeze as she stares between the three women. "We need to figure out a way to keep Lorna here safe and out of sight from Mendez. He's already caused her enough abuse—I'm pretty sure she can't handle anymore," she coldly says, lacing her fingers with the younger woman's.

Red can't help but pull the both of them into her arms for a protective embrace. She presses a motherly kiss to each of their heads, staring sadly into both of their brown eyes. "I'm so sorry for everything you're going through, Lorna. You don't deserve all this damn pain you've been dealt—you really don't, sweetheart," she gently starts off, running a hand soothingly through her dark hair.

"I'm not really sure what we can do to stop Mendez from seeing you again—there's not many places for you to hide out, the guards will see and be able to tell him where to find you. I can kill him—that's the only sure way to stop him from hurting you," she states matter-of-factly.

"No way, ma, you're not killing him. If anyone is gonna fuckin' do that it'll be me—I will not let ya get yourself sent to max for the rest of your life," Nicky harshly responds, glaring darkly up at her mother.

The Russian chef shakes her head in disbelief. Folding her arms over her chest, she gives her own dark glare back to her daughter. "And you think I'd let you do that to yourself? Over my dead body, Nicky. Besides, you have a long life ahead of you – the last thing you need is to be spending that locked away down in max forever. As much as that filthy scum deserves to be dead, I will not let you be the cause of that."

Clearing her throat on the other side of the bench, Alex gives them all a panicked stare. She nudges her head in the direction of the bathroom entrance. "I, uh, think we might have a problem," she uneasily informs the three women.

The sight of Mendez standing there with a sleazy smirk displayed amongst his face has the three instantly freeze. Red tightens her hold on the two girls while glaring up and over towards her least favorite CO. " _Fuck_ ," she whispers with the roll of her eyes. She lets out a sigh before glancing back over towards the man, venom seeping in her blue orbs. "What the fuck do you want with Lorna? What reason do you have to abuse the poor, sweet, child?"

Mendez laughs. He slowly makes his way over to the four inmates; his eyes hungrily staring over the Italian's petite body. " _She ain't a fuckin' child_ —she's a grown ass woman who doesn't know how to keep her pants on! She lusts after me, it's not my fault she can't control her nasty obsession," he lowly growls, letting his hand roughly go to touch Lorna's body.

Red pushes it away, pulling the tremoring brunette closer to her—trying so hard to shield her from the pain he's causing. Her eyes darken as they glare angrily up at the man, "Compared to you, she sure is a child. Don't fucking touch her—you've done enough damage to this sweet girl! I will absolutely not allow you to cause her anymore harm! You have no right to torture her."

" _Excuse you?!_  Reznikov, would you like to be sent to the SHU? If you put your filthy criminal hands on me or tell me how to do my job again, that's exactly where you're headed as will your junkie daughter and whore-face! I'll lock you all up and let you starve to death in there, believe me—I don't give a fuck," he yells, letting his hands pull roughly onto Lorna's arm.

He forces her up and slaps her when she keeps falling to her knees—from the severe numbness in her legs. "Stand the fuck up, whore-face! The harder you make this, the more pain you'll be in later tonight…just remember that, inmate," he meanly retorts.

Rage boiling inside her, Nicky balls her hands into fists and gets up from the bench to stand right in front of the grunting Mendez. Her brown eyes stare daggers into his, "You better fuckin' leave her alone and stop forcing her to stand! Her legs are already in enough pain, which I can bet is from whatever the fuck ya did to her—you're probably the damn reason she can't feel them! Don't you dare make her stand—you piece of shit!" She spits angrily in his face, longing to beat the hell out of him for all the torment he's put her best friend through.

Laughing, Mendez flips her the bird and continues to yank Lorna up off the ground. "I don't give a flying fuck what the reason is! She better get the fuck over it and stand the hell up if she don't wanna be in even more pain later. You little drug addict, there ain't nothin' you can do to stop me from hurting her! Why don't ya just run off and snort up some crack?"

Nicky sees red and – without much care or thought – gives a hard kick to his groin. She hurriedly catches Lorna as he falls to the ground, running as fast as she can out of there with the sobbing brunette securely in her arms.

"That fuckin' bitch," Mendez yells out, holding his hand over his genital area. "As soon as this pain goes away, I will be back for that slutty whore-face…she ain't gonna get away this!"

* * *

 

Coming to the chapel, Nicky carries the shaking Italian to the very back of the room and goes in the supply closet with her. She makes sure to lock the door behind them before sitting down with Lorna on her lap. Her arms wrap tighter around her while her lips press softly against her cheek. "Shh, shh. Try to take some deep breaths, babe. You're okay; you're safe in my arms. Everything's okay now, I won't let him touch you!" She whispers lovingly into her ear, letting the palms of her hand to run lightly through her hair.

Lorna violently grips onto the taller woman, looking uneasily up into her orbs. She gives a fierce shake of her head, "No-nothing will ever be okay, N-Nicky…not while I-I'm in here. He will never leave me alone! D-don't lie to me—I know y-you wouldn't intentionally let anything bad happen but-but even you can't stop Mendez! He has all the power—and the warden doesn't care what he does…he's so scary, Nicky!" She cries out, her tears dripping onto the redhead's chest.

"What did I just say, kid? Deep breaths—just take some deep breaths, baby," Nicky warmly says. She pulls her closer, letting Lorna's head lay softly on her chest. Her fingers brush affectionately through her hair as her eyes peer lovingly down at her, "You're right…you're right, baby; I can't stop him from doing things to you…no matter how fuckin' bad I want to. But I'm gonna promise you this, my love, I will not leave you. If he takes you again, I come with you.  _I don't care_. I won't let you suffer alone, kid. I don't want ya to be alone!"

Their conversation is cut short by the door being kicked down and an angry Mendez coming running towards them. He harshly takes the hysterical brunette from Nicky's arms and pushes her to the ground beneath him. A smirk spreads on his face, "Fuck it—I'll have my way with you right now—and your little junkie dyke friend can watch! See how disgusting you are and leave you after this!" He starts harshly undressing her, throwing her clothes aside.

Nicky doesn't even bother to hold her tears in. She sits by Lorna's head – trying so hard not to watch what filthy things are being done to her best friend's body – and stares softly at her. "Look at me, baby. Just keep your eyes up here, yeah? I know what he's doing hurts and is absolutely sickening to think about, but I want you to keep looking up here at me. I love you, Lorna; I'm here, I don't care that you're laying here naked in front of me—you are so beautiful. I will never leave you," she whispers softly, her tears falling continuously from her eyes.

Mendez rolls his eyes while roughly letting his hands trace along Lorna's bare thighs. He smiles at the sight of her squirming and crying at the feeling of his squeezing her skin. "That's bullshit, whore-face—she don't mean that. Nobody loves you—you're disgusting and ugly and a whore! You ain't worth her or anyone's time," he growls. He takes one hand off of her thigh and uses it to undress his bottom half. Once his pants are off, he lets himself thrust crudely inside of her.

The sight has Nicky inwardly vomit but she does her best to keep her eyes down on Lorna's, trying to keep her composure for the younger woman. "Baby, don't listen to that scum. You are so loved, Lorna! I love you so fuckin' much, ma loves ya, and all our friends—Mendez don't know shit. He's just trying to make you feel bad, babe." She lets her fingers trace soft circles around the other's cheeks.

Her heart aches deeply at the painful cries that come out of her Lorna. She lets her own tears continue to fall as she bends down to press a soothing kiss to the brunette's forehead. "I know it hurts you so much, sweetie…I'm so sorry! You don't deserve this, Lorna!" Nicky sobs out, hugging her friend's head lovingly in her lap while smother her cheeks in small kisses.

* * *

When Mendez finally finishes his dirty deed, he yanks the two women up and drags them out of the chapel—outside to the van and throws them both in the backseat before getting in the driver's side. He glares at them through the rearview mirror, rolling his eyes at the irritating sight of them embracing tightly. "You two have a one-way ticket to the SHU! I hope you're fuckin' happy, lesbian lovers!" He lets out a cold chuckle, starting the van and driving it down the windy hill to the solitary unit.

Not even five minutes later, the van pulls up to the rotted-down building and he gets out—going to the back and dragging the two of them out as well. He pushes them into the building, dragging them through the hallway until he comes across two empty cells. He throws Lorna in one, and Nicky in the other – not even realizing that they're right next to each other. "Have fun starving! See you in hell, ladies," he smirks before locking both their doors and leaving the building.

Nicky lets out a frustrated groan but is somewhat relieved that Lorna's cell is right next to hers. Even though they can't see each other at the time being, she knows the walls are so thin that she can still talk to her and vice versa. She can hear the soft cries coming from the Italian inmate and feels her heart burst with empathy for her. "Lorna, sweetie, how about ya try to nap? I know it seems scary in here but I promise it won't be that bad and at least you have me…well kinda—at least we can talk to each other, yeah? For now, just try to sleep. You need rest, kid; everything's gonna be okay. Just think, baby, it can't really get much worse than solitary," she softly says, leaning her head up against the concrete wall. She can feel the vibrations of her friend's heartbreaking cries and sighs.

"I love you, kid. But please lay down and sleep, you need it," Nicky lovingly suggests. It pains her to hear how much pain the other's in and not be able to do anything to soothe her. She hopes and prays that they're not locked in this place for long. She's not sure her Lorna can handle this sort of environment.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains dark and mature themes. Implied/Referenced possible mentions of suicidal thoughts. Graphic depictions of violence.
> 
> Author's Note: The next chapter is going to be longer, so, it might be a while until the next update. Just a heads up.

_Chapter Sixteen_

A rough night's sleep heavily shows on Lorna's face when she awakens just a few minutes past six the next morning. She sighs, remembering that she's still trapped inside a concrete room with nothing but a worn-out bed and disgust-looking toilet. The only lighting in the room comes from the tiny window that sits above her bed. Sure, she knows Nicky's cell is right next to her but it's not the same. They can't see each other or have any sort of physical contact—it's hard for her to even know she's there sometimes.

"Nicky? Are-Are you awake?" The brunette's small voice calls out as she lightly taps on the wall. She leans her head against the back of it, closing her eyes while trying to imagine her friend's appearance.

"Wrong cell, bitch! Shut the fuck up, it's too early for this shit," an inmate harshly yells, throwing some sort of object towards the other side of the wall.

Lorna flinches at the vibration and stares shamefully down at the filthy floor. "S-sorry," is her hushed response. This, she internalizes, is much worse than prison. This is complete hell.

In the other cell, beside the brunette, Nicky clenches her hands in a fist. Her teeth grit in anger. "Hey, big mouth! Ya better leave my Lorna the fuck alone—don't be shit-talking her!" She bitterly growls but then immediately her features and demeanor soften at the thought of how Lorna is coping. It pains her to not be able to touch her or comfort her other than with her words.

"You feelin' okay, Lorna? How'd ya sleep, baby?" Her voice much softer now as she leans up against the wall that's nearest to Lorna's. She longs to be able to see her and hold her. The pure realization of not being allowed physical contact with the woman she loves is undoubtfully agonizing to her.

With a slight gulp, Lorna tries to find her voice. She's not sure she wants to say anything—not when it seems to be bothering other inmates. "Just wanna get outta here. Maybe we should be quiet so we don't make anyone else mad," she mumbles, staring blankly down at her shoes. As much as she would hate to not hear Nicky's voice, she'd rather not have all these inmates secretly plotting her demise.

Nicky sighs and sadly stares down at the ground. She longs to wrap her arms around the other and feel her body against her own. "I know ya do, kid; I want us to get outta here too. Who cares what anyone else thinks? We're allowed to talk and there's nothing they can do to stop us. It's not like any of em' can come hurt us or anything; they're locked up just the same as us, babe."

Her fingers lightly circle around the wall behind her. "Talk to me, kid. Please; it's the only thing that will keep us sane in here," the redhead lovingly pleads.

"I—Nicky, uh, n-never mind," the brunette finickily responds on the other side of the wall. What she longs to say is something that she feels shouldn't be said while their locked up away from each other. This is something she needs to tell her face-to-face.

"No, kid, say what ya gotta say. Come on, it's okay—I ain't gonna think any less a you for whatever it may be."

Lorna sighs, peering down at her hands. "I-I just – I feel like what I wanna say is something that should only be said when we're able to stare right at each other and stuff. It's something I want only you to hear, Nicky."

Sitting on the other side of the wall, Nicky lets out a frustrated groan. She can't stand that the two of them are trapped inside their separate – tiny – cells and for god-only-knows how long. "I hate to break it to ya, baby, but we might be here a good while. So ya might wanna say what ya wanna say now. It's okay, kid, it's not like anyone else can do anything. If they gotta problem with our conversation, they can go fuck em' selves. You just tell me what ya want, sweet girl."

"I-I, uh, I think I might have feelings for ya…God, I have the worst timing! It's not like it matters now, who knows if we'll ever get outta this damn place?! Who the fuck knows when we'll ever get to see each other again? This is hell, Nicky, absolute hell! I just—I wanna be with you and back in the regular prison—as fucked up as that is—and I just, I want it to be normal again…At least the normal before Mendez came back…"

Hearing those words brings a warm sensation slowly over Nicky's body. She never would have imagined for Lorna to feel the same way she does. A small smile appears on her face but she feels her heart ache inside of her at the clear pain that's emanating in her friend's voice. "Whoa there, kid. Calm down, yeah? You don't wanna give yourself a panic attack, do ya?" Her voice soothingly asks.

"It  _matters to me_ , baby. Your feelings  _always_  matter to me—whether we're together or not, kid, they do. I love you with my entire heart and to hear that you might possibly feel the same way too is the one thing that will make all this pain and hell worth it. We're gonna get outta here eventually, Lorna…they cannot just leave us here. It might just be a while. But please don't think about that—dwelling on that is not gonna do ya any good, baby. It'll only make you lose your mind and that's something I don't want for you. You already have enough shit ya gotta deal with, sweetie, ya don't need to add anything else to the mix."

Irritated groans ring throughout the room. "Do ya really have to turn this fucking hellhole into an even bigger hellhole with your dumbass soap opera love confession shit?" An inmate angrily calls out, receiving many agreements throughout the cells.

Nicky rolls her eyes in irritation, " _Oh shut up_ —ya don't like it then fucking plug your damn ears shut, Jesus Christ!"

* * *

Red stares through her glasses to read the words that make up the novel sitting on her rickety desk. Reading is the one thing that can keep her from worrying for two of the women she holds near and dear to her. It's been almost twelve hours since she's seen either of them and an uneasy feeling is beginning to nag within her. She hopes the reason for not seeing them is because they're hiding from Mendez and not something worse. She couldn't handle if it something happened to either one of them.

The sound of the door to her office opening instantly brings her out of her book. Her blue eyes peer up to stare at who decided to interrupt her 'me' time. Staring into the sickening eyes of Mendez, Red feels the rage quickly bubbling inside her. "What the fuck do you want? Haven't you done enough damage for one day?!" She roughly growls at the officer, her teeth gritting with fury.

"Excuse you,  _inmate_? Are you yelling at an officer?" Mendez questions just as roughly, a smudge smirk displayed across his face. "I don't think the warden will be too happy bout' that, Reznikov."

Shaking her head furiously, Red glares darkly over at the man. "What'd you do with my girls, you sick fucker? Where are Nicky and Lorna?" She coldly shouts her question, not caring what amount of trouble she gets in at this point. If either one of them are in danger, the Russian chef vows to do whatever she can to get them out of such situation.

"You better stop with the name-calling, Reznikov! Or you'll be joining the two of those dumbasses down in the SHU," he smirks and lets out a bit of an evil-sounding chuckle.

" _The SHU!?_  What fucking reason could you possibly have to put either one of them in that hellhole for?! You're the one going around raping vulnerable young women!" Red growls, clenching her hands into fists at her sides. It frustrates her to no end that there's no way to get rid of this man for good without tragic repercussions.

Mendez only laughs. "There ain't nothin' vulnerable about either of those two vile criminals. The SHU is exactly where they belong and that's where they'll stay until I say otherwise. And if you keep on with your snippy-snappy attitude, you'll be joining them," he rudely says and slowly starts to make his way out—before completely exiting the room, he dumps out her mug full of pens all over her desk and ground.

"Fucking scum bag," the Russian woman mutters in agitation once she's left alone. She shakes her head angrily as she goes to clean up the mess he made. No matter what, she vows to find a way to get her girls back from the SHU. There's no way she will allow them to waste away in such a horrific place when they've done nothing to deserve that.

* * *

With no clock or watch to tell her the time, Nicky has to use the small amount of sunlight that comes from the tiny window above her bed to make a guess. She notes the small changes in color across the sky and can somewhat assume it's late evening. The time seems to drag on forever in here. That's nothing new. But she can't even imagine how hard this all must be for Lorna. It breaks her heart terribly to not be able to do anything to help her, other than talking—there's only so much that can be said.

Fast breathing instantly alarms the redhead. It grows louder and harder. She lets out a quiet sigh as she realizes the brunette is having a panic attack. The exact same thing that happened to her when she was thrown in here her first time. "Hey, Lorna…Take a deep breath. You need to try and calm down, kid. You're breathing too fast. I know these cells are small and you're feeling trapped and closed in—we all feel that way—but getting worked up is only gonna hurt ya more, baby," she does her best to soothe the young woman but knows her words can't change the situation.

"Let's just talk—maybe that'll help ya keep your mind off the shitty circumstance we're in," Nicky gently suggests, letting her fingers trace around the lace of her black shoes.

Crouched in the corner of her small cell, with her head buried inside her bent knees, Lorna feels tears soaking through her khakis. It's been barely a day that the two of them have been thrown in this place.  _One day,_  she gruesomely thinks. How on earth is she going to make it through another, let alone however long they're stuck here? She's always suffered with claustrophobia and this is only going to hyphen that terrifying feeling.

"I-I c-can't," she chokes out, her body slowly rocking and back forth against the wall. "I-I c-can't breathe in here—too small, Nicky, the room is too small and there's barely any light. I can't function!" Her voice quivers with cries as she digs her nails into her legs. This is complete and utter hell, she silently thinks—there's no way she can survive in here for long.

Nicky's heart aches even more when she hears her friend's strained words. She can't imagine how hard this on her—a woman who's spent the past several months experiencing one heartbreak after another. "Shh, shh," her voice softly soothes, "You're okay, kid. I know this place is a hellhole—and believe me, there's no fucking reason either of us should be in here—but you have to calm yourself down. That's why I suggest we talk about something; it'll help you to stay calm and focused on something less terrifying to you."

Shaking her head violently hard on the other side of the wall, Lorna continues to rhythmically rock back and forth. "No, no—I-I can't talk," she whispers through her tears.

"Then I'll talk and you just listen, kid." Nicky closes her eyes for a moment, trying to think of something she can go on about for a while. "I started drinking coffee at the age of five—pretty young, yeah? Well, ya know, I kinda had to raise myself cause' of my useless mother—or should I say life-donor? Cause' she sure wasn't –  _and still isn't_  – an actual mother. Anyway, I'd get myself up for school each morning, get myself showered and dressed, and then pour myself a cup of coffee. Half the time Marka was already long gone for work before I even woke up. The bitch wouldn't even come up to tell me goodbye or anything – shows how much she cared for the daughter she fuckin' brought into this word, huh?"

Hearing all this brings even more tears to Lorna's eyes. It makes her heart ache terribly for Nicky to know how miserable of childhood she had. "I-I'm real sorry, hon," she sniffles, holding tightly onto her trembling legs. She longs to be with the redhead—to be able to touch and embrace her.

Nicky shakes her head. "Don't be, baby. I'm over all that shit. I have Red in my life now and that's definitely fuckin' helped me to improve my life. She actually cares about me and my well-being, unlike my lousy-excuse of a biological mother."

Drawing a circle around the wall behind her with her finger, Nicky lets out a sigh at the burning memories of her past. She doesn't easily take to sharing such information but feels it's crucial she tell this to Lorna (and on a side note, she hopes it will help her to forget about the confinement for a little while). "I smoked my first cigarette at the age of eleven—some eighth graders in the school I went to were giving them out and, of course, I just had to try it. Instantly, I fell in love with those things and had to find a way to purchase my own packs. And since my mother could care less what I did, I went into her purse one night while she was sleeping and  _'borrowed'_  her wallet."

"The very next morning I forced myself to wake up early – before she usually does – and tried to make myself look like her. I took one of her uppity black-pant-suits and a pair of her beloved heels and dressed myself in them. I used her straightener to defrizz my unruly hair—and yes, even back when I was a kid, I couldn't care less about my hair—and applied some of her make-up that I could find scattered around the bathroom."

Lorna can't help but let a slight laugh at this. Picturing a young Nicky fumbling around with make-up and hair-straighteners is something she couldn't realistically imagine. "You dressed up like your mother at eleven years old and expect a clerk to believe that? No way, Nicky! There's no way anyone believed ya to be an adult, right?" Her questions are curiously asked.

To hear a laugh come from the other brings a small smile to the redhead's face. Her plan is working, she realizes; telling stories of her childhood seems to be doing its job at keeping Lorna's mind focused on something other than their surroundings. "I know, I know—hard to imagine me wearing make-up and dress clothes, yeah? And hold your horses, kid, I'll get to that."

Letting her fingers mindlessly play with the lace of her shoes, Nicky continues with her story, "After I finished doing my face and hair, I took the short walk down from our house to the nearest gas station. I entered and went over to the counter—there was some young teen working and he didn't give a fuck about IDs so when I asked for a pack of smokes, he just threw em' at me and took my money. I fuckin' took the time to dress myself the part of my bitch of a mother for no damn reason—what a waste of time! Just that alone made me rip out a cigarette the minute I got outside. I walked slowly back to the house while euphorically smoking it."

"Of course, the minute I walked in the house, there was Marka—standing in the kitchen with her hands on her hips and a disgusted expression on her face. I knew she musta went through her purse to find her wallet missing—I couldn't help the smirk that sat on my face the entire time. I threw her wallet at her and laughed when she took in the sight of me wearing her nice work clothes. I'll never forget the hilarious words that came outta her mouth, " _What the hell are you doing in my clothes, Nicole? You smell like smoke—don't you fucking tell me you took my wallet to buy yourself cigarettes!"_ I think that mighta been the one and only time she ever questioned my decisions…of course, that was only because I ruined her  _precious_  little outfit with my  _smoky-smell_." Nicky shakes her head with a small chuckle. Even now, she can only deal with her childhood by laughing about it.

The brunette stares down at the floor. She can see – rather hear – through Nicky's façade—she can feel the deep pain through her words. And to know that deep down her friend is still dealing with pain of her crappy childhood makes Lorna's heart ache for her. "You're a real strong person, Nicky. I'm sorry ya had such a shitty time growing up—ya didn't deserve that. I mean, if your mom didn't want ya, why didn't she just put ya up for adoption or somethin'?" She tenderly questions.

"Baby,  _stop_  saying sorry—you're not the reason my mother is such a fuck-up," Nicky gently—yet firmly—starts off. "Well, ya can't really be weak when ya gotta be the one to raise yourself, you know? I'll never understand why my idiot mother had me when she obviously wants nothing to do with me. All I can say is she's a complete moron. That's the only explanation."

"I love ya, Nicky," Lorna gingerly speaks, not sure what else to say on the matter. She knows the other isn't a big fan of being sympathized.

Nicky smiles, tracing her hand around the wall—desperately wishing it was the brunette's face. "I love you too, sweetie."

* * *

"So, you're sayin' both Nicky and Morello were thrown in the SHU, Red?" Tricia quirks an eyebrow, staring curiously across the lunch table towards the rage-driven Russian chef.

Gritting her teeth bitterly, Red roughly nods her head. The fact that two of her girls are wasting away in that shithole for absolutely no reason at all makes rage boil within her. "That's what the fucking dick-head Mendez has boasted to me about. He spends days and days abusing—both sexually and physically—the hell out of poor Lorna and then decides to throw her and the woman who loves her into solitary confinement for God-only-knows how long! I can't stand for this—something needs to be done about him and this new scum of a warden. I cannot let those two young women waste away in that shit place for no damn reason!"

Yoga Jones shakes her head in disbelief. "Mendez has caused way too much suffering to that poor Morello. He's the one who should be rotting in his own cell in the SHU. He's nothing but a monster. And why would he throw Nichols in there, too? That makes no sense," she gives a confused look towards the other woman.

"She kicked him and ran off with Lorna—she was trying so hard to keep her safe and now both my girls are trapped in that hellhole. I might just have to kill Mendez. I can't let him ruin their lives any longer. They can't go through that anymore. It's not healthy," Red's voice fierce with anger.

"Nah, I got a better idea—we should have Berlin make him that special tea a hers. It'll kill him within hours, I think," the blonde—and youngest—of the four inmates suggests. She takes a bite of her sandwich while waiting for their input.

Yoga Jones slowly nods her head in agreement, staring over at Red now to see what her reaction will be. "She has a good point, Red. Though, I think it'd be best if Frieda also makes a cup for the warden as well. That way, it'll kill both the monsters. And hopefully, Caputo will be assigned warden again so that he can get both the girls outta solitary."

Slightly nodding, Red feels some of the anger disintegrate. "That's not half-bad, Tricia. No one would get in trouble if the two die seamlessly after drinking an innocent cup of tea. Very smart. I'm gonna go talk this over with Frieda—I think she might actually enjoy carrying out such a plan," she says, getting up and heading over to the Golden Girls' table.

* * *

A week's gone by. An entire week, Lorna tiredly internalizes, that she has been locked away in a boxed-room with nothing but a bed and toilet to keep her company. Sure, she and Nicky can make conversation but that's certainly different from having actual human-contact with her. This place is absolute hell. The entire week has been nothing but hell for Lorna. They're barely given any food for meals, they haven't been allowed out to shower once—at least she knows she hasn't—and the only thing that keeps her room from being pitch black is the tiny sliver of sunlight that comes from the small window above her rickety bed.

There's a loud banging on the cell-door that causes the petite inmate to awaken and nearly fall out of the bed. "Inmate, get the fuck up! Come over here and put your hands through the meal-hole,  _now_ ," a familiar—and terrifying—voice shouts on the other side of the door.

Lorna freezes instantly, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. No way. No way can she deal with anymore of his abuse. There's no way she can go through another round of rape. Her body can't handle it;  _she_  can't handle it. "N-no more—leave me alone,  _please_! I-I can't take it anymore…Go away!" She shakily cries out, regretting her words immediately when she sees the door smash open.

Mendez glares darkly at her, forcing his way in and over towards where she lies. He smashes his fist roughly into her face and pins her to the mattress, "Don't ya fuckin' tell me to go way, whore-face! I own you, don't forget that. You seem to forget that I saved you from getting a longer sentence, ya little bitch. And I'm tired of it—I'm tired of your little attitude!" His hands run coldly along her shoulders as an evil smirk spreads across his face.

Reaching into his pocket, Mendez takes out a gun and holds it towards her head. "Ya wanna end all the pain and shit? I'll pull this trigger and you'll float away to Lalaland. Sounds good, don't it?" He lets the tip of it press against her neck, watching intently how she flinches and shakes underneath his harsh touch.

" _Don't ya fuckin' touch her_!" Nicky's voice shouts from the hallway. With a gun in her hand, she carefully approaches the room—holding hers right over top of Mendez's head. "You fucking piece of shit asshole! You are the one who needs to be dead, Mendez—you fucking rapist. All ya've done is fucking traumatized the hell outta this sweet woman since the day she was fucking sent to Litchfield. All ya've done is abused and violated  _my_  baby and I'm done letting this shit go on. Step the away from Lorna—get your filthy hands off her  _now_!"

Lorna watches the scene before in horror. She feels her entire body convulse violently against the mattress beneath her. "N-Nicky, p-please don-don't do that…I-I don't want ya to get in trouble—I don't want ya to be sent to prison for the resta your life. Please don't shoot M-Mendez—just let him kill me and everything will be fine. I'll-I'll be okay, hon; I love you," she sobs out, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as she braises herself for what's to come.

Angrily shaking her head, Nicky moves closer to the CO and sticks the gun right on top of his head. " _Baby_ , I  _need_  to kill him. He needs to die—he's fucking abused the hell outta you…You are going through hell because of this scumbag, kid. And I cannot allow his nasty escapades to continue. You do not deserve to be hurt anymore, my sweet Lorna. I don't give a fuck what consequences I have to pay—saving your precious life and stopping the horrific abuse you're being dealt is way more important to me, love. You  _will_ be okay because you're gonna live," her voice sternly speaks but her big brown eyes pour lovingly into Lorna's. A sad smile forms on her face, "I love you too, babe.  _With all of my heart_. That's why I gotta kill this fucker."

With her finger tightly on the trigger, Nicky slowly pulls back and watches as the bullet—as if in slow motion—flies into Mendez's head. She looks over at Lorna who's screaming horrifically loud on the bed, her face pale and fearful. Immediately, the redhead is by her side within seconds. "It's all over now, kid. He's dead—he can never, ever, hurt you again. Come here, baby, come lay in my arms. I'm here for ya," her voice soothes into the shaken-up brunette's ear as her arms wrap protectively around her petite body.

* * *

It's the middle of the night—and dead silent with all the inmates sleeping in their bunks—when Nicky's awoken to the sound of a familiar scream. Instinctively, she jumps out of her bed and runs over to the cube that is shared by her mother and Lorna. She gets into the bed beside the brunette and pulls her up against her chest, running her hand lovingly through her sweaty hair. "Shh, shh. Wake up, Lorna, it's okay. You're just having a nightmare. Everything's okay— _you're_  okay," she whispers warmly into the thrashing woman's ear.

Lorna's eyes pop open. She stares bewilderingly up into the other's eyes for several moments before tears finally begin to pour. "M-Mendez—you-you k-killed him, Nicky…in the SHU and-and I-I—"

Kissing her temple lovingly, Nicky shakes her head and pulls the cover up to wrap around them. She holds her fingers gently against her lips, "You don't need to talk about it, sweetie. I know what happened in your nightmare—you've been having the same one over and over since we got back here. It's okay, kid; I didn't kill him. Of course, I wanted to but I wouldn't do that—not when I'd have to leave my sweet love to spend the rest of my life in max. He is dead, though, don't forget that. He can't hurt you anymore. There's no more suffering now. Only healing and being cared for by the woman who loves you with her entire soul. We'll get through this, babe, I promise. Ya just gotta let me help ya and take care of you. Two things I know you're not the best at but you'll improve. You have to, anyway, because I will never leave your side."

Combing her fingers soothingly through Lorna's brown waves, Nicky stares affectionately down into her brown eyes. She gives a sad smile to her, letting her other hand caress delicately along her cheek. "Close your eyes, baby, you're tired. I can see it in those beautiful eyes a yours. You'll be okay now; my arms will keep you safe from nightmares. You know that. I love you so much, kid," she whispers, pecking her warmly against the forehead.

The brunette feels her eyelids growing heavy and slowly shuts them. She lets herself snuggle deeper into Nicky's arms, her face buried between her neck and chest. The gentle thump of the older woman's heartbeat slowly lulls her into a much more peaceful slumber.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I don't actually think there's anything worthy of being warned about this chapter. Maybe the fact that there is a lot of comfort/fluff going on. There are some thoughts of low self-worth/hatred and possible (very lightly implied) thoughts of suicide.
> 
> Author's Note: This is not exactly as long as I was going for...but it is longer than last chapter so there's that. Thank you to those who read and review this; it really makes me happy and motivates me to keep writing. Reviews are always very appreciated, so don't be afraid to leave one. I love reviews! Anyway, I hope those who read this enjoy...though I'm not sure if this chapter is that good - it's kind of just really thick with comfort and fluff this time. But don't fear, I can promise there is more darkness near.

_Chapter Seventeen_

"Lorna, what the hell's been going on the last few weeks? I came twice to visit ya and this asshole warden kept sayin' somethin' bout ya being locked in a shoe? What the fuck does that even mean? How can they put ya in a shoe?" Franny throws her questions out the minute her younger sister is seated across from her. Her hand frantically reaches over to gently grab a hold of the brunette's; she stares worriedly into her brown eyes.

These questions bring back painful memories. Lorna bites the inside of her mouth, trying her hardest not to let the memories consume her whole. "It-it's  _the SHU_ , not a shoe…It's a bad place, Fran—real bad and scary place. It's a teeny-tiny room with only a bed and toilet and they wouldn't even fuckin' let me out to shower! And it was dark—that place is absolute hell, Franny!" Her voice cries out.

Rage burning in her brown eyes, Franny takes a firm hold of her hysterical sister's hands and squeezes them tight. "Why the fuck did they leave you in a place like that, Lorn? What the fuck is wrong with this prison? How long were you in there, sweetie?" She tries to keep her voice soft but the anger she's feeling is making that quite the chore.

"I can't even remember—at least a week, maybe longer…The only good thing was that Nicky was in the cell right next to me—if she wasn't there, I probably woulda tried to kill myself or somethin'. I couldn't take it in that small space, Franny!"

Gritting her teeth, Franny peers firmly across at her sister. She shakes her head. "Thank God she was there then, Lorn—because ya know our family couldn't handle losin' ya," she exasperatedly says. Weariness displays on her face. She sighs, stroking her sister's knuckles lightly with her thumb, "Only two and half more years til' you're outta this hellhole. We really miss ya at home…You look so frail and damaged—ya needa be with your family. You've been through hell in this piece of shit prison, Lorna; they need to just let ya out!"

"Remember that scary officer with the sex-offender mustache?" Lorna asks in a whisper.

Franny's eyes darken, she crosses her arms. "Ya mean the asshole who fuckin' raped ya and caused ya to be sent to the hospital?! Yeah, I sure as fuck do. Why? What he do to ya now?"

The brunette squeezes her eyes shut, trying to ignore the traumatic memories. "He's d-dead and-and so is the warden, the bad warden. Mendez—he came back and did some stuff to me and then he-he threw me and Nicky in the SHU…he was gonna let us starve to death there. But after we were in there for over a week, Caputo came and brought us back here…He said that some of the other COs found both Mendez and Piscatella—the new warden, he was friends with Mendez—unconscious in the break-room or somethin'. Apparently, the tea they drank had some kinda poison in it and it killed them."

"Thank the fucking Lord that  _monster is dead_! And that sickening warden too—how dare he allow that piece of shit hurt you! Maybe now you can finally recover from all this shit in peace!" The older sister says, gripping Lorna's hand tight in her own. She's relieved to know that her sister can finally move on from all the horrific abuse she's been through.

* * *

"So, you and Morello were right next to each other in the SHU?" Tricia inquiries as she and Nicky hide out in the bathroom smoking a cigarette each. Her blue eyes peer directly across into her friend's with genuine curiosity.

Nicky lifts her cigarette to her mouth and sucks in a long breath. "Luckily Mendez was too busy being an asshole to realize that he threw us into cells right beside each other. Lorna wouldn't have survived in there if that hadn't a happened—I know she wouldn't a. Fuckin' awful to hear how panicked she was every day; and the fact that I couldn't even touch her was pure hell," she breathily responds, taking another long drag of her smoke.

Shaking her head, Tricia takes a drag of her own cigarette. "Good thing that dick-head is dead now. No more abuse for Morello—I don't know how she handled all that. She must be one strong woman," she genuinely wonders.

"Lorna's stronger than she fucking realizes—she's been through hell more than once and she still tries her hardest to be positive. Sweet girl doesn't deserve to be in this shithole," Nicky grits her teeth as she lets out a breath of smoke.

The sound of water running from a sink has Nicky peak her head out to see who it is. When she sees that it's Lorna, she quickly finishes her cigarette and hurries over to her. Placing a hand lovingly on her shoulder, she gently turns her so that their eyes meet. "Where were you, sweetie? Ya kinda disappeared after breakfast. Everything okay, kid?" Her hands delicately caress against the brunette's porcelain cheeks.

Lorna quickly nods. "Everything's good, Nicky. My sister just came for a visit—she thought we were put in an actual shoe," she tries to laugh, but the cheerfulness doesn't quite make it to her eyes.

" _Hey_ …it's okay—ya don't have to pretend you're happy, baby. I know you're not. It's okay, Lorna, ya don't gotta fake it. Let me take care a you, yeah?" Her heart melts when she feels Lorna's arms around her neck, clinging desperately to her. She wraps her own arms protectively around the shorter woman's waist, pulling her against her chest. "Let's go cuddle up in the chapel—how's that sound, kid?" She feels the other's head bob up and down against her.

With Lorna secure in her arms, she starts heading out of the room but stops halfway and yells to her blonde friend, "I'll catch ya later, Trish. Gotta go take care a my sweet girl—I know ya understand."

* * *

Nicky sits with the petite brunette behind the organ, running a hand tenderly up and down her back. Her big brown eyes peer lovingly down into Lorna's, "So…we both realized we love each other—yeah, kid?" She smiles when she sees Lorna nod her head. "Then, what do ya say to being my girlfriend? I wanna be with ya, Lorna; I wanna be able to take care of you as much as I can. You have no fucking clue how much I love you, baby," her voice soft against the smaller woman's ear as she pulls her to lay against her chest.

"I-I—are ya sure, Nicky?" Her eyes look away from the older woman. As much as she fawns at the idea of a relationship with Nicky, she's not sure she can believe her words to be true—not when she's been lied to so many times in her past.

"Am I sure about what, baby? That I love you? Hell yeah I am—I love you with every fiber in my being, I will do anything for you…I  _want_  you to be my girlfriend, Lorna, I'm 1000% sure about that. What makes you think that I wouldn't? Why would I fuckin' lie to you, sweetie?" Nicky's questions are fiercely asked; she tightens her arms around her, letting her eyes to stare firmly down into the brunette's.

Staring down at the ground, the brunette sighs and shrugs her shoulders. "I just—I figured you'd want someone better than me. You could have any woman ya want, Nicky, and for some reason you'd settle for me. That just don't make no sense in my book."

Nicky arches an eyebrow. Her brown eyes peer sternly down into Lorna's, "What the actual fuck are ya talkin' bout, Lorna? What the fuck makes you think that shit?! Do ya seriously not think you're good enough for me?" She wraps her arms as tight as she can around the smaller inmate and nearly forces her to look at her.

"Tell me why the fuck ya feel this way—it's bullshit. No one is more deserving of my love than you are, babe."

Lorna lets out a small grunt. "I just—after everything that's happened…I don't feel the same, Nicky. I feel disgusting and filthy. I-I don't want you to have to be burd—"

"I have to stop ya right there, kid," Nicky's voice sternly informs her. She grabs her face in her hands and cradles it softly, gazing madly into her brown orbs. "You are the most beautiful— _gorgeous_ —woman I've ever known. What that dickface did to ya will never  _ever_  fuckin' change that! There is nothing disgusting or filthy about ya, baby…Don't fuckin' think that way! I love you so much and I love every single thing about you. There's nothing that can make me not love you. Ya hear me, kid?"

Though the kind words are sincere enough to make Lorna's body all warm and tingly, she just can't seem to shake the feeling of self-loathing out of her. She should be able to believe when Nicky tells her how much she loves her—and deep down, she certainly does—but her mind tells her not to. Her mind persuades her to believe she's unworthy of love because that's what Mendez – and Christopher – has engraved into her brain. Even while he's dead, he has control over her.

"I hear you, Nicky, I do. And-and I wanna be able to believe ya…but I just—I-I…I don't know, it's-it's stupid. I'm sorry," she shakily answers, fighting back tears.

" _Nothing_  you say is stupid," Nicky soothes. Her hands stroke delicately along the other's arms, trying to console her.

She gently moves Lorna's face back in front of her own. A sigh escapes. "Tell me what you're thinking. It's okay, sweetie; I won't judge ya for it. I just—I wanna understand why ya feel that you don't deserve love. And don't you dare apologize for anything—you have done absolutely nothing wrong. You're as pure as an angel, kid."

Lorna inwardly gulps. "Mendez," is her only response. It's no surprise either; that one name has been the cause for all of her most recent pain and trauma. Both women know this.

"He made you think you don't deserve love?" Nicky's heart aches at the sight of the other's head's nodding. She shakes hers sadly, pulling Lorna closer against her body. Her lips press warmly onto her forehead, "Even now—after his death—does what he said to ya, does it still go through your mind?"

"Every day  _all day_. His words never cease—they-they're always there, Nicky,  _always_  taunting me. And I can't do nothin' about it."

Nicky's eyes burn with passion. She cups Lorna's head in her hands and touches her cheek tenderly with her lips. "That  _asshole._  Even from his grave, he torments my baby," she grits her teeth.

" _Please,_  don't believe what he told you. You're worthy of so much, kid. You deserve all the love I have for you. Don't think otherwise—no matter how much that fucker drilled it into your head that you don't…ya understand?" Her arms draw Lorna closer so that their foreheads are leaning together.

The brunette shakes her head. She squeezes her eyes tightly shut as tears slowly run down her face. "You deserve better, Nicky—I-I'm fucking damaged and-and dirty…I can't burden ya—I just can't. You deserve to be with someone who has less problems. You're such a beautiful human being, Nicky, I can't-I can't ruin that," she cries.

Nicky feels an ache in her chest. Her breath trickles warmly against Lorna's lips as she takes several seconds to just stare wretchedly at her. " _Lorna_ …oh sweet Lorna," she sighs, using one of her hands to gently wipe away the tears on her face. "Open your eyes and look at me. Come on, kid, lemme see your pretty eyes."

Pained eyes slowly open and peer back at Nicky. The redhead gives a small smile, brushing her fingers delicately along her face. "There they are. Your pretty eyes don't deserve to be filled with pain," her lips press ever so lightly onto Lorna's. She uses her fingers to lovingly wipe away a fresh batch of tears.

" _My Lorna_ …sweet, precious Lorna—you are more than enough for me, babe. You are not dirty—don't talk like that. I know you're damaged—I am too, kid. In fact,  _everyone_  in here is somewhat damaged. That doesn't make you unworthy of being loved…or less of a human.  _Stop_  with the burden shit—you could  _never_  fuckin' burden me!  _I love you_ …I want to be with ya no matter how damaged and broken you are; you are the fuckin' love of my life, Lorna, I  _need_  you in my life. Please _, baby_ ,  _listen_  to my words and  _believe_  them. Everything I say comes directly from my damn heart.  _I'm not ever leaving you._  Get that thought outta your head; I don't want ya ever thinking that way. I don't want you to ever think or feel like I'm gonna leave ya because I'm not. I will always be here with you; you're my love."

Those words cause an overwhelming amount of tears to fall from Lorna's eyes. Her arms wrap tight around the taller woman's neck. She opens her mouth to speak but can't find any words. She holds on tighter, freely letting herself cry as the woman she loves—and who loves her—slowly rocks her.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. Just let it all out; crying is good. I'm right here, baby, you'll be okay," the redhead softly whispers against her ear. She presses a kiss to her head before carefully laying it onto her chest. Her arms hold securely around Lorna's waist, keeping her close to her body as she runs a hand gently through her hair. "Close your eyes and rest. Everything will be okay. I'll be right here; I love you so much, my precious Lorna."

* * *

 

A smile appears on Red's face when she sees her two favorite daughters coming to sit at their table for supper. It's a good feeling to finally have them back—and an even better feeling to not have to worry about Mendez's abuse towards the Italian inmate anymore. "Thank God we can all finally move on from the hell this past month has been," she says, once the two women have sat down.

"Seems like ya two are real close, now…Somethin' ya guys wanna tell us?" Tricia smirks, giving a wink to Nicky.

Nicky rolls her eyes as she sits down beside her mother, pulling Lorna to sit on her other side. "The fuck ya talkin' bout, Trish? Me and Lorna always been close," she mutters, twirling her fork around in the spaghetti that sits on the tray in front of her.

The blonde shakes her head. She gives her a knowing look, "Oh,  _please_ …We all know the two of ya are in love with each other! When ya guys gonna finally admit that?" Her voice impatient with wonder. She takes a sip of her drink and stares ponderously over at the older woman.

"For fuck's sake—if ya must know, Trish, you're right. We are in love and we're—as of a half hour ago—girlfriends. Now would you fuckin' stop going on about our damn love life? Jesus, kid, worry about your own for once."

Tricia just smirks and nods with satisfaction. "Happily."

"Well, congratulations you two," Yoga Jones pleasantly gushes, a kind smile on her face. "I always had a hunch that you two would end up together."

Red nods in agreement. "I'm glad the two of you finally realized your feelings—well, Nicky, you always knew about yours—but I'm happy to hear you two told each other about them. You two belong together; I know you do," she smiles warmly at the two of them, gently patting Nicky's hand with her own.

"We sure do," Nicky nods with a smirk, wrapping her arm tight around Lorna's waist – slightly pulling her closer. "Now, enough about our undying love for each other. I wanna know how ya all managed to get Caputo back as warden. What the hell went on here? Please don't tell me I missed out on the good stuff."

Letting out a small chuckle, Tricia looks up from her food to stare across at her. "Ya missed all the good stuff, Nicky. Red had this real elaborate plan to murder Mendez and it was pretty exciting to watch her. Then she took a bat to that – what's his name? – Piscatella's head and there was fuckin' blood everywhere. God, ya shoulda seen it. We were all terrified," her voice tries to sound serious but she can't stop herself from laughing a tiny bit.

Red shakes her head in displeasure and whacks her lightly on the head. "Oh, stop it, Trish. We all know that's not true."

The yoga instructor gives a nod in agreement with the Russian chef's statement. "I believe you were the one who actually told Red not to kill him, Miller. You proposed the plan of having Frieda spike his and Piscatella's tea with poison. And that plan was carried out successfully. That's why they brought back Mr. Caputo, because there needed to be some sort of warden," she honestly answers.

Nicky slightly senses her girlfriend's tense form at the mentions of her former rapist/abuser and immediately pulls her closer so that her head rests comfortably against her shoulder. "I wonder what they put down for the reason of their deaths," she nonchalantly retorts, her hands stroking soothingly through Lorna's hair.

"Who knows and who cares? The good thing is they're dead and can't hurt anyone anymore," Red firmly speaks.

"I guess you're right, ma…I just don't want anyone to get in trouble. You promise you didn't take part in either of their deaths?" She gives a stern stare beside her at her Russian mother.

The other nods and gives her a quick embrace. "I didn't go near their cups of tea; I promise you that, my sweet daughter." She presses her lips delicately against the younger woman's forehead, smiling kindly at her.

A sigh escapes. "Good. I love ya ma," she quietly says, wrapping her one free arm around Red's neck in a comforting embrace.

* * *

 

Sitting in the rec room with her brunette girlfriend, Nicky wraps an arm loosely around her shoulder and gives a soft kiss to her forehead. She gently gazes down into her eyes, using a finger to brush away a sparse strand of hair. "How've ya been feelin', babe? We've been so busy worrying about getting out of the SHU that we haven't talked about your illness," her voice warmly questions.

Lorna arches an eyebrow, lifting her head to stare up at the other. "Huh?" Confusion's written all over her face. The last two weeks have been nothing short of terror for her—she completely forgot about the cancer that might possibly be lurking inside her body.

"The  _cancer_ , baby," Nicky tenderly informs, bending to place a soft kiss on her cheek. Her eyes peer softly into Lorna's. "We gotta find out what's going on with your legs. We need to know why they get numb so much, kid. How've they been lately? And don't you lie to me, babe."

The Italian bites her lip and sighs. "Look, I-I talked to the doctor a while ago about my legs and my mom—and he said there's nothing he can do. It-it'll cost too much for them to see if me and my mom got some kinda genetic brain cancer thing. So I just gotta get over it."

" _Fuck that!_ Too much fuckin' money?! They fuckin'  _owe_  it to ya to have ya checked—they fuckin' let their filthy asshole officer abuse you over and over for months!  _The least_  they can do is pay for ya to get your DNA checked!" Nicky's voice nearly shouts, her hands shaking with rage. She shakes head in irritation – disgusted at how petty the prison system seems to be.

Lorna sighs. She knows it's not fair that they'll willingly refuse her medical care but allow one of their officers to traumatize her for life. But what can she do about it? After all she is only a prisoner. "Nicky, stop. It's no big deal. I'll-I'll be fine…hopefully," she whispers the last word, not entirely sure she will be if she does indeed have her mother's cancer.

Gritting her teeth, Nicky angrily crosses her arms and glares at the smaller woman. "No big deal? You fuckin' think your life is no big deal? Hell no, Lorna, ya stop this kinda talk right now!  _This is_  a fucking big deal, kid. You might have fucking brain cancer and if we don't find out for sure, you'll end up dying…you don't want that, do ya?" The anger clearly spills through her voice; her arms wrap snug around Lorna's waist, pulling her over to sit on her lap.

"Course' not…but-but what the hell can I do about it? I'm just a damn criminal, remember? We ain't got no say anymore, Nicky."

" _Stop_  that shit talk, Lorna. You are not a damn criminal—for fuck's sake all ya did was scam a few online stores, that's bullshit to be classified as a three-year worthy sentence. Besides, that doesn't take away your right to being healthy. Your health is more important than the money—you're too fucking valuable for me to just let ya give up on yourself…especially over something that can easily be fixed! That's it, you and I are both going to medical—no  _fuck that_ , we're going to Caputo. I can't trust you to go alone—ya fuckin' let these assholes walk all over you and I won't stand for it. Let's go, baby," she commands. She pulls the shorter girl up with her and walks her in the direction of Mr. Caputo's office.

* * *

 

Nicky pulls Lorna into the small office and plops them both down in the two chairs that sit adjacent to his desk. "We have some things we need to work out here, Mr. Caputo," she roughly informs the man – who looks up from his computer screen to stare at them with a confused expression.

"And exactly what would that be?" He questions through irritation. The last thing he needs to deal with is another one of their problems. That already cost him his job once—he sure as hell doesn't need a repeat.

Nicky stares over at the brunette impatiently nudging her with her shoe.

The Italian sighs, focusing her eyes down at the floor. "Uh...um, well I, uh, I—never mind," she nervously stops herself. There's no use in this, she thinks; there's no way he'll care to help her out.

Groaning in frustration, Nicky slaps her hand against the rim of the chair. She stares coldly across at the warden and says, "Look, Lorna's too timid to tell you for herself so I fuckin' will. You need to get her some real medical attention! She gets numb legs that last for fuckin' days at a time—that's not normal! Her mom had the same damn problem and now is suffering with brain cancer. Lorna needs tested for this. Fuckin' test her—that's the least this shithole prison can do for her after what you people let happen to her!"

With a sigh, the warden shrugs his shoulders. "It's not up to me whether she can get the medical treatment she might need. It costs money for that and I'm not the one who controls if we spend it or not on inmates. Besides, I doubt anyone higher up will even care to hear this. They already aren't happy with me—they aren't going to listen to what I say. I'm sorry, but I really can't do anything for you," he truthfully responds, staring between the two women with an almost sympathetic expression on his face.

"So, ya just wanna let her suffer and possibly fucking die over a stupid money thing?!" Nicky growls, reaching to grab one of her girlfriend's hands and squeezing it tight.

"The very most I can promise is that I'll talk to the board. But I highly doubt they'll care. Yes, I know, that shows just how shitty this prison system is…but honestly, there's nothing really I can do about it. I'm sorry."

Nicky's heart aches inside of her. There's no way she will let Lorna suffer with a possible cancer lurking inside her brain. She can't. And she won't. Not if she has anything to say about it. "Is money the only issue?"

He slowly nods, giving an arch of his eyebrow at the determined expression on her face. What can she possibly be up to now? He silently wonders.

"What if I were to give you the money? I got some piled up in a savings account somewhere—I'm sure I can get Marka to dig it out and bring it here. I need you to get her checked, this is a  _life_  we're talking about here! Her life is  _not_  just something this place can throw away," Nicky retorts.

Caputo plays with the handles of his glasses casually adjusting them as he takes a moment to think. "If this is that important to you, I don't see why not. I'll talk with the physician and see what kind of medical tests he can perform. After the payment is made, I'll call you down here Lorna and we'll have the our doctor here give you whatever test he sees fit."

* * *

" _Nicky_ ," Lorna softly addresses her – once the two of them are back sitting in the rec-room – with tears about ready to fall. "Please—don't use up your money on me, hon. I'm sure ya worked real hard for it…don't waste it on me. I'll be fine." Her face soaked in tears as she wraps her arms snug around her neck, burying her face into the warmth it radiates.

The redhead snakes her arms securely around her waist, pressing a delicate kiss down to her head. "I didn't do shit for that money, kid. The least I can do is it give to a good cause—and you,  _doll_ ,  _you_  are an absolute perfect reason to use up that money. You are not a waste; ya stop that kinda talk right now. How many times I gotta tell ya that?" Her voice stern but her eyes soft and loving as they peer down at the woman in her arms.

"You—you're just—I love you so much, Nicky," the younger woman tearfully proclaims. Her lips peck tenderly against Nicky's chest. She'll never understand how she could be so lucky to find such a person—a beautiful and warm person who actually truly loves her. She knows she doesn't deserve this kind of love. But her body tingles softly at the sensation of having her in her life and she definitely doesn't plan to argue with God about it.

"You are the most selfless human being there is, Nicky. I—I'll do whatever I can to pay ya back for this. Anything you want, just tell me."

Nicky shakes her head and smiles warmly at her. "All I want is  _you_ , baby. I want you to let me take care of you and love you. I want you to stop insulting yourself and making yourself feel shitty. That's all."

The other stares at her with an unreadable expression. She shakes her head profusely. "No, you are fuckin' saving my life pretty much. I owe ya. And I will do whatever you tell me to do to make up for this. There's gotta be something ya want me to do," she nearly begs, her eyes peering desperately up into her girlfriend's.

"Baby, you  _do not_  owe me anything.  _I love you_. I'm doing this because  _I fucking love you_  and  _need_ you to be okay. This thought process you seem to be displaying right now is not healthy, sweetie. You're acting like you're an object to me and that couldn't be further from the truth."

"Well, nothin's free in here. I can't just expect ya to pay for my damn medical bills and not owe you somethin'. Mendez would—" Lorna starts off but is quickly interrupted by the redhead.

Rage bubbles inside of her. Nicky takes Lorna's head into her hands stares firmly into her brown eyes, " _Fuck_  Mendez—shit, baby, not literally…I'm sorry I know I suck with word phrasing sometimes. But seriously, don't fucking let his words get to you!  _I am absolutely not_  Mendez,  _fuck no_ …I would never ever abuse you or manipulate you the way that dickfucker did. I  _would never_  fucking claim you as my object just because of something  _I WILLINGLY CHOSE_  to do for you!  _Fuck_  there I go with my shit phrasing—to be clear, I will never fucking claim you as my object for any damn reason whatsoever. You are a beautiful, angelic, sweet human being that deserves to live and be loved and taken care of. You absolutely do not owe me anything—do I make myself clear, baby?" Her heart aches at the tears streaming down her cheeks; she affectionately wipes them with her thumb.

"I love you," Lorna cries, lifting her head to peck her softly on the lips. "You're a true angel, hon—I-I don't deserve someone as sweet as you in my life." She runs her hands delicately along the redhead's jawline.

Nicky squeezes her securely, returning the kiss sweetly. "Baby, what did I tell ya about shit-talking yourself? No more of that. You deserve love and you're getting it. My love for you will never die," her lips press hotly against her skin.

"And believe me, kid, if ya knew how I really earned that money—ya definitely wouldn't refer to me as angel. But I'll admit that makes ya just about the most adorable thing for saying—or even thinking—that. I love you so fuckin' much, Lorna; I always will, my baby."

* * *

 

Being called down to the visitor's room—for the second time in almost a month—Nicky's somewhat shocked. Until she remembers that she asked Marka to come this weekend so she could ask for the money. Although, the thought of having to look at her—let alone speak to her—for however long she's here is somewhat revolting, the reason she's doing this is what matters most.

"To what do I have the pleasure of visiting my daughter for,  _Nicole_?" Marka's voice already irritates the redhead, who does her best to bite her tongue and not saying anything repulsive.

Nicky sighs, taping her foot anxiously against the floor underneath the table. "Look, I know we hate each other and probably always will…but I need ya to get the money from my savings and bring it to the warden. This is important, Marka. Believe me, I would not be asking you if there was anyone else who coulda done this."

Marka rolls her eyes. She crosses her arms over her chest, clearly annoyed. Of course, this is only about money. That's all her daughter ever needs her for. "What the hell else is new? All ya ever want is fucking money, Nicole. What is so important that you had to make me cancel a meeting? What the fuck is this about?" Her voice harshly spews out the questions.

"The money isn't for me—it's to help my girlfriend. She's sick and she needs fucking medical attention!" Nicky shouts back, her anger slowly starting to rise.

"And why the hell can't your girlfriend pay for it herself? What is she—a slutty gold-digger?"

Nicky slams her hand on the table, peering darkly into her mother's eyes. "Don't ya fuckin' insult her. You know nothing about the sweet woman! Not everyone is fucking rich like us, Marka. And not everyone fucking wants to waste their money on overly priced vacations like  _you_  do. It's my money and I need it sent to the warden. Just please fucking do this one thing for me. It's the least you can do consider you are—unfortunately—my mother."

The older woman rolls her eyes but slightly nods her head. "Fine, I'll do it. But after this, I don't want to hear another word from you. I'm sick of this," she curtly says and then quickly gets up to leave.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a friendly reminder: To be clear, I do not hate Lorna; she is my favorite character on the show. Just because I chose to write story where she's hurting and suffering doesn't mean I hate her. This is only a story and if you can't handle that, you don't have to read it. Not everyone's lives are a ray of sunshine. This is for mature readers only.

_Chapter Eighteen_

The minute Red locates her daughter, she grabs her and pulls her aside. A stern look is in her eyes as she stares down at her – her hands firmly pressed against her hips. "Care to explain what that lousy excuse of a mother of yours was doing visiting you?" She firmly inquiries, impatiently waiting an answer.

"Ma, it's nothing to worry about. I promise. I asked her to come down so I could talk to her about something important—"

Red gives her a cold stare, " _You_  asked her to come? What is so important that you would ask that good for nothing mother to come down here?"

Nicky places a hand gently on the raging Russian's shoulder and stares softly up into her eyes. "Calm down, ma. I just needed her to come so I could ask her to bring the money I have in my savings to Mr. Caputo. Believe me, after this, I'll have nothin' to do with her anymore. She made that pretty clear. I have no problem with that though," she shrugs. Her mother's never been someone she really cared for.

" _Fuck the bitch_ —you don't need her anyway!" Red growls, pulling her daughter in for a tight—somewhat possessive—embrace. Her eyes gaze worriedly down into the other's. "What are you giving money to Caputo for? What's going on, Nicky?"

"It's for Lorna—so she can get some real fuckin' medical attention. She needs to be checked for brain cancer and Caputo said they couldn't afford that…so I offered to pay. Lorna  _needs_  this, ma. She's had enough fucking suffering for one life!"

Her heart melts inside of her. Red can hardly believe her ears—Nicky's certainly changed for the better these past several months, she internalizes. "You are a sweet soul, Nicky. Just what Lorna needs in her life. I knew the two of you were perfect for each other. It's a shame that the prison won't pay for this…I mean after all the shit they put that poor sweetheart through, the least they could do is get her some medical help," the Russian woman shakes her head sadly.

Nicky chuckles. "Exactly what the fuck I said, ma. They owe her that. But, of course, they don't give a shit. This place is trash. All they want is money—fuckin' money hungry pricks."

"Very true, my Nicky. This place is absolute shit filled with money-hungry assholes. At least, Lorna has someone like you in her life now—a sweet, selfless, gentle-hearted woman – even though you're too stubborn to admit that – who's more than willing to get her the help she needs. I'm beyond proud of your actions, sweetheart. You are becoming such a compassionate young woman," Red warmly informs her. She holds her in a loving embrace, pressing a motherly kiss atop her head.

Squeezing her own arms around her mother's neck, Nicky only gives her a half smile. "Lorna  _deserves_  to be loved. She deserves everything I do for her—she's a precious and delicate angel. She's my baby; I  _need_  her to be okay."

* * *

Lorna's heart shatters inside of her.  _How can this be true?_  She thinks.  _How the hell can she have the same brain cancer her mother has?_ Tears line her eyes, she walks out of the medical office and runs down the hallway to the restrooms. Her eyes are blurred with tears that she doesn't even notice she's about to collide into another inmate until they both fall to the ground. Frantically, she gets up and profusely apologizes to the other woman.

Staring the brunette over, Alex's eyes fill with deep concern and worry. She instantly pulls her in for a friendly embrace. "What's the matter? What's got ya so upset, Lorna?" Her voice soothingly questions.

"I-I have brain cancer…just like my mom and-and Nicky—I don't know how to tell her! She-she's gonna be so mad," the shorter inmate sobs out.

Alex arches an eyebrow. She rubs her back softly while peering sympathetically into her eyes. "I don't think Nicky could ever be mad at you—especially not over something like this…Why would you say that? It's not your fault you have cancer, Lorna. Take a deep breath and calm down, you're gonna overwhelm yourself with how frantic you are."

"She'll be burdened with me…course' she'll be mad. I don't wanna hurt her, Alex!  _I love her so much_ —I don't want her to be burdened with me! I'm gonna fucking end up like my mom and I-I really don't think Nicky deserves that. She deserves someone who can take care of her just as much as she takes care of them…" Lorna's body fiercely shakes with the amount of sobs that escape her. She can't ruin Nicky's life—not after how selfless she's been to spend all of her money on her medical bills. She owes it to the redhead to not be a burden.

Stroking a hand gently through the hysterical woman's medium-length hair, Alex shakes her head and stares firmly into her pained eyes. "Lorna,  _calm down_! You're being irrational. None of what you're saying is true. Nicky loves you just as much as you love her. She—I'm sure—will want to take care of you and help you through this. You need her, sweetie. You can't go through cancer alone. And she's gonna  _wanna_  be there for ya, whether you believe that or not." She tries her best to console the young woman without much luck.

"We're going to find Nicky; you need to tell her. I'm not gonna let you put this off—cancer isn't something to be messed with, Lorna." The black-haired inmate informs her while carefully leading her out of the bathroom.

* * *

Nicky lays on her bunk—music blasting through her ear-phones—when she hears footsteps seeming to make their way into her shared cube. Her eyes instantly pop open to be met with the sight of Lorna and Alex standing in the door way. For a split second, she feels her heart break. The last time Alex brought the tiny brunette to her, Mendez was in the middle of abusing her. What can the reason be for this now? The question frantically runs through her mind.

She takes her ear-phones out—throws them aside—and sits up on the bed. "Hey," her voice warmly calls out. She gently pats the spot next to her, motioning for them to sit beside her.

Lorna refuses to move. There's no way she can handle informing the woman her heart beats for about the cancer. The pain and heartache it will cause her makes her loathe herself even more. All that money Nicky wasted on this test—and all she gets in return is an even more damaged girlfriend. She doesn't deserve that; the brunette knows and she refuses to do that to her.

"Lorna, come on," the taller woman firmly nudges her. "You need to tell Nicky about this. You can't keep it to yourself. If you don't tell her,  _I_ will."

Those words bring concern to the redhead's brown eyes. She quirks an eyebrow at them. "Tell me what?" Her eyes move between the two women, landing on Lorna's. She gazes longingly at her, "What's going on, baby?  _Tell me_. We are not playing this game anymore. You are not hiding things from me—so either you tell me or Alex will. Either way, I  _will_  find out what's wrong with you."

When the petite brunette doesn't move from her spot, Alex carefully grabs her hand and walks her over to the bed. She sits her down beside Nicky, crossing her arms over her chest as she gives a stern stare to her. "Please, Lorna, just tell her. She's not gonna be mad at you. This is not anything you have control over," she does her best to softly encourage the youngest woman.

Nicky's arms snake around the brunette, pulling her so that she's nestled against her chest. Her eyes peer softly down into her girlfriend's. "No matter what ya say, I will never be angry with you…You know that, baby! What's wrong? Please talk to me. You can't hide things from me like this anymore. I need to know what's happening. You're my girlfriend, I love you and wanna take care of ya," she sternly reassures her, kissing her softly on the cheek.

"I—I got brain cancer," Lorna says so quietly that neither women can understand her.

" _Baby_ , I  _can't_  hear you…what'd ya say?" Nicky pecks her forehead softly with her lips. Her eyes gaze worriedly down into the other's.

Out of nowhere—it seems like—a rush of anger comes bubbling up inside Lorna. She forces herself up out of her girlfriend's arms and stands on the other side of the cube. The anger intensifies. She grips her hands tightly in fists, bringing one to smash as hard as she can into the wall behind her. Hot tears swarm out of her eyes. A frustrated groan lets out of her mouth. "Cancer," she cries, " _I fucking have fucking cancer_!"

Nicky gets off the bed and walks slowly towards the distressed brunette. Her arms encircle lovingly around her waist, pulling her back into a protective hold. "Oh Lorna, my baby, I'm so sorry! But at least we found out sooner rather than later, yeah? We can get you taken care of and make sure ya don't end up completely bed-ridden…And sweetie, even if ya do end up that way, I promise you I won't leave you.  _Please remember that!_  You are my beautiful Lorna; I'll be with you through every damn thing," she assures her, kissing her cheek lovingly.

" _Let me go!_  I need to, I need to—" Lorna begs but is instantly shushed by the feeling of Nicky's chest pressed soothingly up against her face.

With the brunette securely in her arms, Nicky walks back to her bed and lies down with her. She wraps the blanket around them and presses a soothing kiss atop Lorna's head. "Shh, shh. You need to calm down and nap, kid. You're too worked up. I can't let you go, not when you're this upset and irrational. Just shut your eyes and cuddle deeper into my arms. You'll feel much better after a nice rest, baby. We'll worry about everything else after you've had a sufficient amount of sleep," her voice delicately brushes against her girlfriend's ear. She wraps her arms even tighter around Lorna, letting her know she's not playing around.

* * *

Hours drag on. Nicky opens her eyes to see Lorna just gazing up at her. A soft smile spreads on her face as she gives a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Feelin' better now, baby?" She tenderly asks, letting her thumb caress lightly along her cheek.

Lorna wraps her hands around the redhead's cheeks and presses a fierce kiss to her lips. "I love you, Nicky, so much. I don't wanna leave ya ever but if-if uh the cancer kills me—"

"Uh-uh, don't think like that! We're gonna get you taken care of, kid; you are not gonna die…well, not anytime soon. What the doctor say after he told you the results? They gonna get ya on some kinda treatment, yeah babe?"

The brunette lets out a shaky breath. She closes her eyes for a moment. The words he used to describe how serious her condition is rings loudly through her mind. It nearly pains her to have to share it with her girlfriend. The last thing she wants is to have to burden her with even more shit. "I'm just tryna be realistic, Nicky…He said they, uh, they found a real big tumor on my brain. And the only thing that can be done is-is for me to have chemotherapy—I can't do it, it made my mom so sick! She had no energy when they forced her to get that," she sniffles.

Pressing her lips soothingly against her forehead, Nicky wipes her tears lightly with her thumb. "You gotta get it done, though, kid. This is to help ya. It's not gonna be pleasant but it's the only way you'll get better—ya want that, don't ya?"

"Yeah, well, what if it doesn't fucking work anyway?! They forced my mom to go through this shit and she still got a huge fucking tumor sittin' on her brain…chemotherapy did nothing to help her; she probably won't even make it another year!" Another fit of rage starts to rise within her. She tries to keep it inside but the feeling won't ease up any.

Nicky brushes the tips of her fingers soothingly across her face, letting her eyes peer empathetically down at her girlfriend. "Baby, ya gotta give it a try. It might work for you but we won't know if you don't even give it a damn chance. Please calm down, kid," she softly pleads, pulling Lorna back down against her body. It pains her deeply to see how upset and broken the woman she loves is.

"I needa get outta here," Lorna frantically says, pushing herself out of the other's arms and walking nearer the exit.

"Where are ya going, kid?" Nicky worriedly inquiries. She immediately gets up as well, going over to stand beside the other. Her eyes look concerningly down at Lorna; she places a hand firmly on her shoulder. "Baby, you don't think I'm upset with you…do ya?"

Lorna turns around. She sighs and shakes her head, reaching up to cup the older woman's face in her hands. "Course' not. I just, I need some fresh air. I love you, hon. I'll be back in a bit," she presses her lips warmly against Nicky's, gliding them in a soft kiss.

Sighing, Nicky presses one last kiss to her lips and reluctantly releases her. "I love you, too, babe. Please don't be long. You make me worry for you."

* * *

The fresh air instantly puts a smile on Lorna's face. For a few minutes, she can let all her problems and worry fade away and maybe even pretend things are normal—that she's not wasting away in prison with a brain tumor lurking in her head. She slowly walks down the path of the track, taking in the sounds of birds' singing and sunlight pouring down her. It feels so blissful, she thinks.

A familiar figure stands on the gravel—just a few feet in front of her—and has her fasten her pace a small amount. She finally reaches the woman and gives a gentle tap to her shoulder. "Suzanne, what're ya doin'?" Her voice softly questions as she watches the taller woman just stand there, staring off in space.

Suzanne immediately perks up at that familiar voice. A smiles forms on her face. She turns around and wraps her arms tightly around the short brunette, pulling her in for a friendly embrace. "Oh, Lorna,  _I was so worried_! I haven't seen you for so long…I was scared we weren't friends anymore—where were you?"

"Aw, hon, I'll never stop being a friend to ya," the Italian gently starts off, wrapping her own arms comfortingly around Suzanne's shoulders. "Just some not so good things happened to me—I was stuck in the SHU for over a week. But I'm all good now." A lie, she knows, but there's no need—she feels—to tell the other otherwise.

"The SHU? That's a bad place—why were you in there? You're nice and good…That don't make any sense," the darker-toned woman curiously asks, staring down at her with big eyes.

Lorna inwardly gulps. How is she going to get of this without mentioning any of the abuse? She doesn't think hearing the real reason will do any good for her friend. A sigh escapes her. "I-I, um, I kinda got caught displaying affection to another friend in the hall—the CO saw us and dragged us both away to the SHU…not a fun experience at all," she tries to make it sound believable, but she knows she wouldn't buy that explanation.

"Guess they got stricter rules now," Suzanne shakes her head, staring down at the gravel. Her eyes widen once again; she stares back up at her friend. "Are you a lesbian, too? You said you and some other woman were being affectionate out in the open…I just assume."

With a genuine smile on her face, the brunette slightly shakes her head. "I, uh, I wouldn't call myself lesbian…But I do, I do love this one woman in here…with all my heart. She's a beautiful person inside and out."

"Who is she?" The other enthusiastically wonders; she loves a good love story.

Her smile widens. "Nicky, the wild-haired redhead. She's the one person in here that's been here for me since the first day I arrived. I love her more than myself; I'm so thankful I have her in my life," Lorna euphorically tells the other, her cheeks blushing a light pink at the thought of her beloved girlfriend. The woman who truly is her miracle and life-saver.

Suzanne smiles too now. She squeezes her hand gently, staring down at her. "That's real nice that ya've found your true love, Lorna. I'm happy for you. Are you two girlfriends? Does she know about your love?" She can't help herself with all the questions; she longs to know all about her friend's love life.

"Yes, we are girlfriends and we both know that we love each other. Thanks, hon—so sweet of ya," the petite brunette responds gently, patting her hand softly. "Do you got a girlfriend—or boyfriend?"

That question brings a slight frown to her face. "All I got is myself. No one wants to be with the crazy mental case," Suzanne sighs.

Lorna's heart aches. Her arms wrap soothingly around the taller woman in a gentle hug. She looks up at her with a kind smile, "You'll find the right person someday, honey. Don't give up on love. You are a sweet woman…someone will see that and want to be with you. You ain't no crazy mental case; ya just extra special…like you said your mom told ya."

* * *

Before heading off to the cafeteria for dinner, Nicky decides to go to the bathroom for a much-needed smoke break. All the stress with find out her girlfriend—the woman she knows can't live without—has a pretty serious case of cancer gives her the urge to want to take a hit of her beloved heroin. And the thought, alone, that she wants it makes her angry with herself. That drug's done nothing but ruin her life. She has no business lusting over it, she knows.

With a frustrated sigh, she settles for her cigarette—pulling it out once she's alone in a bathroom stall. "Fuck," she breathes out when her lighter won't turn on.

"Nicky?" Alex's raspy voice calls out when she notices her standing in one of the stalls. She cautiously enters it and gives her a worried stare. "Problems with your lighter? Here use mine," she says, reaching in her shirt pocket before handing it to the redhead.

Nicky nods, gratefully taking the lighter and using it to light her cigarette. "Thanks," she slightly smiles, handing it back to Alex as she brings the smoke up to her lips and sucks in a deep breath of air.

The taller woman nods her acknowledgement. "So, uh, what's your reason for smoking?" Her question is carefully asked but her eyes ponder with slight concern. Sure, she realizes a cigarette isn't all that bad—hell, she enjoys one every now and again herself—but she feels there's something more going on right now.

"Probably the fact that the woman I love so fuckin' much is sick with fucking cancer.  _Jesus Christ_. Can she  _ever_  catch a goddamn break!?" The redhead shouts between drags.

Alex sighs. She stares down at the floor. "I'm sorry. She doesn't deserve to go through that and you don't deserve to have to watch her suffer. Life is so unfair sometimes. It's fucked up that good people have to suffer while bad people don't have to pay any consequences."

"Not your fault, don't apologize. She sure doesn't. She deserves some fucking happiness for once," Nicky growls, slamming her fist harshly into the wall. Rage bubbles inside her. "You have no clue what that beautiful woman has been through, Alex…you really don't. Not even a week after she came here, she loses her son—and that's when everything went downhill for her. Mendez fucking used her son's funeral as bait to make her his little sex toy! He fucking raped and abused the hell out of my baby  _for days_ before she finally fucking told me and ma. And now, she fucking thinks she doesn't deserve any love at all…she keeps telling me she doesn't want to burden me and that couldn't be further from the damn truth."

She takes a minute to breathe and has another drag of the cigarette. Shaking her head furiously, she turns to stare directly into the other's blue eyes. "How the fuck do I make her believe that she deserves love? What the fuck do I do for her, Alex? I don't fucking know. She just keeps on about it. And I know it's all Mendez's fault—he put this shit in her head. He made her believe that she's worthless. And I—my heart breaks for her when she feels this way. I wanna just hold her in my arms forever and repeatedly tell her how much I adore and cherish her sweet soul." Angry tears leak from her brown eyes.

The black-haired woman takes a moment to let all this sink in. She sighs again, not knowing what she can say to help her friend. To hear everything Lorna's been through, it makes her sick to her stomach. She can't imagine how it makes Nicky feel to know what her girlfriend has had to endure. "That poor girl…She's been through hell multiple times it seems. How much trauma does it take before someone completely falls apart?" Her head shakes slightly, she stares back over towards Nicky—a sympathetic expression on her face.

"I honestly have no idea what to tell you. I think the best thing is for you to just keep on doing what you're doing—reassuring her that you love her and she's important to you. Tell her how worthy she is and that no matter what happened to her it doesn't take away her right to love. I mean, it's obvious to me that she loves you just as much as you love her, Nicky. In fact, she was telling me earlier this morning how she loves you so much and she doesn't wanna hurt ya by—shit, I see what ya mean about the burdening. She kept going on about that and I literally had to force her to tell you about the cancer. Well, you know that part…you were there."

Nicky shakes her head and takes a much-needed puff of her cigarette. "Yeah, my Lorna loves with all her precious heart…but she thinks no one should love her. I wish I could get inside her head for a day, see what the hell she's thinkin'…what's making her think this way of herself. At least then I'd have an idea of how to go about helping her. Oh, well, I'll just do what I do and make sure she knows my love for her ain't going anywhere. Thanks for trying to help, Alex. And for lettin' me light up my cigarette," she somewhat smiles, pulling her in for a friendly hug.

* * *

After getting her tray of food, Nicky quickly ventures off to her usual table. She's anxious to see Lorna—worried that she hasn't come found her after her walk. The closer she comes to the table, a glimpse of her girlfriend's head lying against it makes her heart beat faster. She quickens her pace, setting her tray down, and pulling Lorna up off the table and into her arms.

Her eyes peer worriedly down into the brunette's. "What's wrong, kid? Why do you look so dazed? Are you in pain?"

Lorna shrugs, staring up at the other with slight confusion seeping through her brown orbs. "Why's the room spinning, Nicky?" She weakly asks, closing her eyes to try to ease some of the dizziness she's experiencing.

"It's not, baby. You're just—you don't feel good, do ya?" Nicky runs a hand slowly through the smaller woman's brown hair while pressing a soft kiss to her head. She lays Lorna against her chest in an effort to help soothe the uncomfortable feeling away.

"I feel like …like someone drugged me or somethin'. I'm so dizzy and exhausted."

Her heart shatters. Nicky cups her cheeks delicately in her hands, peering at her with deep—strong—concern for her. " _Did_  someone drug you, sweetie? Did someone do this to you?! Who the fuck was it? Tell me, doll," she sternly pleads, holding her in a protective embrace.

Shaking her head, Lorna opens her eyes to stare up at the other—immediately regretting that decision. The spinning intensifies and brings a horrifying wave of nausea with it. She tries to keep it in but—as if in a reflex-like motion—vomit expels from her mouth and lands on both she and Nicky. Embarrassment and tears rush to her face. She tries to stand up to clean the mess, but the dizziness is too strong.

"I-I-I'm so-so sorry," she chokes out.

"Shh, shh," Nicky tries to soothe as she holds her tight while also starting to clean the mess. " _Baby_ , don't be embarrassed…it's okay! You're sick, it's not like ya could stop yourself from throwing up. Calm down, kid; I'll clean it. There's no need to be sorry about this."

The entire cafeteria becomes eerily silent. All eyes are on the two of them, giving pitying looks towards Lorna.

Lorna instantly notices this and it only makes her more hysterical. "This—this is why ya deserve someone else, Nicky. All I do is ruin things and—"

" _Enough!_ " The redhead shouts after she finishes wiping up everything. Her arms tighten around Lorna, pulling her close to her body. "I don't want to hear another fucking word about how ya think you don't deserve me or my love— _I don't_ …because that is fucking bullshit!  _You are_  worthy of me, whether you believe that or not—you fucking are. You are worthy of being loved by me and  _you will be_  for the rest of our lives. You are my beautiful, sweet-souled Lorna who will always be the love of my life. I will never stop loving you, baby. I mean that."

Her lips press delicately against Lorna's. She moves the hair tenderly away from her eyes and just stares at her. The room fills with cheers and cat-calls—making Nicky realize that they're still in the cafeteria…still in the presence of fifty or more other people. She turns to stare at everyone else, a firmness radiating from her big eyes. "Lemme make one thing clear to the rest of ya—if any of you ever make this sweet woman— _my baby_ —feel like shit and unworthy of love, I'll fuckin' beat you until you can't move. Everyone got that?" They all slowly nod—going back to their meals—and she smiles, pulling Lorna back to lay softly on her chest.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains mild sexual content (fluffy smut) (And it's probably not the best as I am not that good at writing sex, sorry!), verbal bullying, chemotherapy/brain cancer discussion, extreme anger outbursts, unwanted attention, and (of course) fluff/comfort (but come on poor Lorna's got cancer, she deserves some comfort).

_Chapter Nineteen_

"Lorna Morello," Mr. Caputo calls out, walking into her cube. He stands there—in front of her bed—and gives her a look, one that tells her she needs to get up and follow him out. "Your chemotherapy starts today and if you want to make it there before they cancel it, you better get a move on."

A frown appears on Lorna's face. She hates that she has to go through with such gory treatment—one that may not even work. Though, with a sigh, she forces herself out of bed and walks toward the warden.

Red turns from behind her bed, staring up at the two of them and arches an eyebrow. "You know, since Nicky was nice enough to give the money to you to pay for Lorna's medical treatment, I believe it's only fair that you allow her to accompany the two of you. For moral support, of course," she firmly suggests, peering hard through her reading glasses at the warden.

A sigh escapes, Caputo rolls his neck in a bit of annoyance. "Fine, fine. I'll see what I can do about that. Now, come on, Morello, we need to go," he curtly says, grabbing her by the hand and lightly forcing her out of the cube.

"You better take care of her," the Russian chef yells out as they start heading out of the dorms.

* * *

The cold, sterile, environment immediately brings a shiver to Lorna's spine as she's brought back to the cancer ward of the hospital. She squeals in pain when a nurse sticks her with a needle. A gentle arm snakes around her shoulder, pulling her against a familiar – comforting – chest. Her eyes peer up into those loving brown orbs that belong to her girlfriend.

Having Nicky with her puts a small smile on the brunette's face. She allows her head to nuzzle closely into her chest, trying to let the soothing motion of its rising and falling to keep her from thinking about what poison is about to enter her body. "I love you," she whispers, reaching to hold one of her hands tightly in her own.

Nicky's heart melts. She kisses her tenderly on the forehead, brushing a sparse strand of hair from her eyes. "I love you too, baby. Why don't ya sleep? That'll probably make this whole thing a lot easier on ya, kid. And it'll go faster," she warmly suggests, running a hand affectionately through her brown hair.

"That's actually a really good idea, Miss Morello," the nurse agrees. She finishes taping the IV to her arm before hooking it up to the pivot. Momentarily, she disappears—and then comes quickly back over with another needle in her hand. "This is just some anti-nausea medication to help with side effects of the chemo. It will make you feel pretty drowsy, so getting some sleep will certainly benefit you. The whole process takes a few hours anyway. If you need anything, just press the call button."

Once it's only the two of them, Nicky's arms pull Lorna completely onto her lap. She rubs her back in soothing circles while peering warmly down into her brown eyes—that seem to be slowly drooping shut. "It's okay, kid, close your eyes. I'll be here holding you," she whispers into her ear, letting her lips press softly against her cheek. "Everything will be okay, baby."

* * *

Red gently places a blanket over her sleeping bunk-mate before turning to Nicky with a worried gleam in her eyes. "How was her first day of chemo? She seems to be really drained," the Russian chef wonders aloud. She bends down to press a motherly kiss to Lorna's forehead and then goes over to sit beside her daughter on her made-bed.

"The nurse gave her some sort of medicine to help with nausea and it pretty much knocked her out," the redhead answers, mindlessly playing with an unfolded corner of the blanket.

The Russian woman places a hand gently onto her daughter's shoulder, letting out a small sigh. "Poor child; hasn't she been through enough trouble? It's unfair that good people like her have to suffer more than actual criminals," she shakes her head in displeasure.

Nicky fiercely nods her head. "Yeah like fucking Mendez—that asshole fuckin' got away with abusing the hell outta her and yet, she's the one who has to suffer. The only good thing is he's dead now. And hopefully the only thing she has to deal with now is getting through the chemo. I don't know how much more shit she can handle, ma—I really fucking don't," she digs the tips of her fingers roughly into the mattress beneath her.

"Let's just pray this is it. She doesn't need anything added to her plate, not with an illness like cancer."

* * *

Lorna's eyes slowly open—several hours later—and squint from the brightness of the room. They groggily search the room for her surroundings; a slight sorrow filling them when she realizes she's back in prison. One of the last places she wants to be right now, she sighs. A hand touching her own brings her out of her head. She looks to who it belongs to, smiling sadly when her eyes meet Nicky's.

"How's my baby? Been asleep for quite a while, kid," Nicky runs her hand over and over across her girlfriend's forehead. She stares down at her, searching for any signs of discomfort.

The brunette snakes her arms around Nicky's neck, pulling her down against her body. She nuzzles her head into the crook of her neck and peers lovingly up into her big brown orbs. "I love you so much. Thank you for being there with me today—it really helped having you by my side, Nicky. You make everything so much easier. I couldn't do this nasty treatment without you.  _I love you_ ," her lips press delicately against the older woman's chest.

With her arms wrapped securely around the Italian's waist, Nicky smiles warmly while peering tenderly down at her. "I love you much more, kid," she breathily says against her lips before smothering them in soft kisses. "I'll always be here with you. I want you to get better and this shitty treatment is the only way—right now—so if I have to sit with you each time you go and hold ya to make you feel better than I sure as fuck will. Your health is important to me,  _baby_.  _You're_  important to me. I need you to be okay."

"I-I don't know how to thank you enough—you-ya've done so much for me, Nicky. You're my miracle," Lorna whispers, letting the tips of her fingers caress lightly along her girlfriend's neck. She pushes herself up out of the bed—ignoring the pain that radiates from her head—and lovingly yanks Nicky up as well. Taking hold of the other's hand, she starts walking out of the dorms with her and down the hallway to the one place that gives them the much-needed privacy they crave.

Once they're sitting on the stage – behind the organ – Nicky gives a soft gaze to the smaller inmate. She combs a hand delicately through her wavy brown hair. "What're we doin' in the chapel, sweetie?"

Lorna lovingly lays the redhead beneath her, her legs draped over either side of her body. Her face leans down close enough that their foreheads lightly brush together. "I wanna make love to you, hon. Is-is that okay? I mean ya know…if I end up like my mom someday, I won't be able to do this for you. And I don't want ya to go without ever experiencing the pleasure that you give me," her voice softly trickles against the taller woman's lips. A small smile spreads across her face as she gazes affectionately down at her lover.

" _Baby_ , as long as  _you_  feel comfortable, then this is perfectly okay," Nicky softly assures her. She reaches up to cup Lorna's face in her hands and brushes her lips lovingly against hers. "I hope ya don't think you need to do this because of that…  _Lorna_ , ya better not be forcing yourself to do something you're not ready to do. You don't need to prove yourself to me, kid; you better not think that."

"Nicky, I  _wanna_  make love to you because  _I love you_. I—I wanna give you an orgasm – I wanna make ya feel good. You deserve to feel as amazing as you've made me feel," Lorna hotly whispers against her ear. Her hands tenderly caress Nicky's face before moving down to her neck and chest, taking their time to slowly stroke the delicate skin.

Nicky feels her heart bursting inside of her. She smiles, looking up at her girlfriend with deep love shining through her big brown eyes. "You're too sweet, Lorna. I love you so much," she informs her while pressing a fierce kiss to her red lips.

Shaking her head, Lorna takes the redhead's face into her hands and gives a firm look into her eyes. "Let  _me_  do everything, Nicky. I want to kiss you and touch you and hold you. You've already done so much for me. It's my turn to do for you."

Before laying Nicky back down, she crashes their lips together in an intense kiss. Her lips slowly travel down to her chin, neck, and finally stop right above the breasts. Carefully—with love—Lorna takes the cotton shirt off her girlfriend and uses one of her hands to undo the bar. She moves her lips down to her breasts, placing soft kisses to each.

"Oh _, fuck_ ,  _Lorna_ ," the redhead euphorically moans out. Her whole body intense with fuzzy tingles and warmth from the delicate kisses pressed against her skin.

Lorna immediately pops her head up. Her eyes peer fiercely into Nicky's, "I'm not hurtin' ya, am I hon?"

The other woman opens her eyes while shaking her head with a warm smile. She reaches her hand down to Lorna's face, giving it a gentle touch. "No, no, you're doing the exact opposite. You're so gentle and delicate, baby. It feels  _amazing_  what you're doin'," her voice tenderly assures the brunette.

" _Good_ ," the Italian inmate says with relief and continues her actions.

She cups her hands gently around each of her girlfriend's breasts, caressing them both affectionately with the tips of her fingers. When the other lets out what sounds like a pleasurable whimper, Lorna smiles and moves further down her body. Her hands touch the rim of Nicky's khakis and slowly pull them down her legs. She does the same with her panties. The tips of her fingers lightly trail down her thighs—she uses the two on her right hand to bring over into Nicky's genital region. Very gently, she allows them to enter inside of the other's body. They gently explore their surroundings, stroking up against her as they do so.

Nicky's entire body arches with the intense waves of euphoria. She squeezes her eyes shut, hyphening the pleasurable experience. A soft whimper escapes her. Her body craves for more.

Lorna takes the hint and complies. Her fingers slowly come out and go back in, caressing her even faster—causing even louder whimpers to come out of her girlfriend's mouth. She continues to repeat the process until Nicky's body is shaking from the strong, spastic, orgasm that courses through her.

"My God, Lorna," Nicky finally breathes out once the orgasm has faded. Her eyes reopen and stare passionately down at the brunette. "That was fuckin' amazing, kid. Where the hell'd'ya learn to do that?"

The other shrugs, laying down beside Nicky. She drapes her arms around her neck and peers up at her with a warm smile. "I didn't know what I was doing at all, honestly. You're the first woman I've ever made love to. I'm gonna go to hell for this…but it's worth it. You're worth everything, Nicky," she presses her lips warmly against the taller woman's neck.

Wrapping her own arms around Lorna's waist, Nicky pulls her up against her bare chest. She sighs, staring down at her with a slight sternness seeping through her brown orbs. "Baby, you're not going to fucking hell just because you love a woman. Let me be clear—ya ain't going to hell,  _period._ You're the sweetest, angelic, human being alive. I mean I'm flattered that you'd be willing go there just to be with me but hell is not where you're going."

"That's not what my dad will say," the brunette sighs while snuggling closer to Nicky. She peers up at her and takes in the beauty that radiates off of her face. Lorna's finger traces delicately around her eyes. "He'll just go on about how it's a sin to have sex with women when that's what I am…And that I'm deemed to hell for what I've done with you. But I don't really care, because you're the only person who has the capability of making me actually feel loved and safe. I rather be with you than go to Heaven. Hell is anywhere without you." Her lips brush gently up against the other's neck, sucking lightly on it until a red-tinted circle is left behind.

Nicky chuckles, pulling the smaller inmate closer and giving a soft peck to her forehead. "You're fuckin' precious, Lorna. I love you so damn much."

* * *

"Yo, Nichols, who'd ya get that hickey on your neck from?" Tricia yells out as she catches up to her in the hallway.

Nicky crosses her arms, giving her an irritated look. "Like you don't know. Jesus Christ, kid—you know damn well who gave me this prize-winning hickey. Don't play dumbass with me."

Blue eyes widen in shock. " _Morello_  fuckin' did that? Where the hell did she learn that? Damn; them quiet ones ya gotta watch out for apparently," the blonde shakes her head with a smirk displayed across her face.

The older woman rolls her eyes. Sometimes Tricia made her wonder how many times she hit her head when she said such stupid shit like this. "Why are you acting like it would be anyone else who did this to my neck? Do you not remember when ya begged me to tell you how fucking in love I am with Lorna? Why the hell would I let anyone else fuck with me when me and her are in relationship? Are ya stupid or somethin'?"

"Well, I mean,  _it's you._  You're notorious for your sex crave, Nicky. You've never been one who just sticks with one, ya know? What am I supposed to think?"

"Yeah, well, not anymore. Lorna's the love of my life—I don't want anyone but her. For Christ's sake, the sweet kid's willing to endure a torturous afterlife just to be with me—she's definitely my soul-mate. There will never be another woman for me. Lorna's  _it_  and I intend to keep it that way. We need each other…desperately," Nicky concludes.

* * *

In the kitchen—helping with some tasks to keep busy—Lorna accidentally chops a potato unevenly and a strong wave of aggression comes over her. She slams the knife roughly over and over into the vegetable, not stopping until she realizes the floor is smothered in what looks to be mashed potatoes. More anger rises. She takes the knife and throws it against the wall behind her—causing it to shatter on impact. A disheveled grunt comes out; she crutches down to the ground, using her hands to angrily gather up the mess of potatoes she made.

Once she's cleaned the floor, she walks over to where the broken knife is and glares heavily at it. " _You fucking ruined my potato_! And now you made me break you! Piece of shit," she howls, grabbing a pair of gloves that hang above the sink and covering her hands in them. With irritation, the brunette harshly gathers what's left of the knife and tosses it in the trash can.

"Lorna, what's going on in here? What's all the yelling and noise about?" Red's voice worriedly calls out as she makes her way in from her office. Her heart falls a small amount when she notices her beloved knife's—in numerous pieces—sitting in the trash. That knife's been around for longer than she has in this prison. "What happened to the knife?"

Lorna clenches her hands into fists, gulping slightly while turning to stare at the Russian chef. "I broke it," she admits, feeling her sudden rage finally starting to subside some.

"Why'd you do that, Lorna? You're lucky a CO isn't around or you would have got in some deep trouble for that—"

" _Don't touch me_ ," the feeling of Red's hand on her shoulder makes her shutter and back away. She groans, staring down at the floor. "The  _knife_  ruined the  _potato_ , Red! I-I was trying to chop them like you said to and then the fucking knife made this one so fucking uneven! It made me real angry so I threw it. I-I'll make it up to ya,  _I swear_. I didn't meana break it…I-I just couldn't control my anger."

Red sighs, looking her over with deep concern. This certainly isn't like her. She's never seen Lorna filled with rage before. "It's okay, honey. It's just a knife—I'll see if Caputo can order a new one," she gently assures her but keeps herself from hugging her—not wanting to cause her any other reason to be mad. "Why don't you go lie down for a while? You've had a rough day, sweetheart."

Those words only add to the rage. Lorna fiercely shakes her head, staring coldly ahead at the older inmate. " _I'm fine!_  Give me something else to do. Make me do something. I can't sit back and go crazy. I need to work—please fucking give me work to do," she cries out, her knuckles turning white from how hard her hands are held in fists.

"You are absolutely not  _fine_ , Lorna. You  _need_  to go lie down.  _That's an order_. I can't have you working in here with this hysteria. This is not you—this is a mixture of the chemo side effects and the brain tumor. I can't let you work when you're feeling this way. Now, off to your bunk," Red lightly moves her nearer the door.

Lorna shoves her middle finger up behind her as she furiously makes her way out of the cafeteria. The motion—unfortunately—doesn't go without notice. The CO on duty makes his way towards her and grabs roughly onto her wrist, yanking her around to face him. "Is there a problem, inmate? Flipping fellow inmates off isn't gonna get ya anywhere," he retorts, not loosening his harsh grip.

"Please just let me go—I'm not in the mood," her voice tiredly pleads. She feels her heart start to ache. This can't be another sex-offending guard, she hopes.

He only laughs, digging his nails roughly into her fragile skin. "Shoulda thought about that before ya decided to display your anger for all to see,  _little princess_ ," his voice taunts her.

Lorna sighs, her body timidly shaking at his unpleasant touch. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again. Please just fucking let me go. I don't feel good!" She bites the inside of her mouth, trying her best to keep her emotions inside. The last thing she wants is to piss off the wrong person. She doesn't need that.

"You better just watch that tone of yours, little girl. I ain't playin' around here. If I hear you mouth off one more time to me or any other CO, it's off to the SHU with you. Is that understood?" His blue eyes peer darkly down into her fearful ones. He watches as she profusely nods her head and rolls his eyes. Reluctantly, he releases his hold on her arm but says one last thing, "I'll be watching you. Very closely. One more anger outburst and you're headed down to the SHU. So, you better be real careful with your actions."

Her heart races alarmingly fast inside of her as she watches him finally walk back to the cafeteria. She takes a deep breath and continues down the hallway. A sigh escapes her. She needs to figure out a way to keep herself from having another rage attack. There's absolutely no way she can handle going back down to the SHU.

When she comes to the bathroom, she timidly enters it and makes her way to one of the stalls. A minute to breathe is exactly what she needs right now. One deep breath in; one deep breath out…and all of the food she ate today. The nausea hits her harder than she expected. She hovers over the toilet—heaving wretchedly—for what seems like years in her mind.

"Oh, hey, anorexia," Boo's voice taunts as she walks by her stall to go wash her hands at the sink. "Been a while since I've seen ya puking over a toilet. I was beginning to really worry for you."

" _Fuck_ ," Lorna starts to yell but is interrupted by another wave of vomit rushing harshly out of her body. " _You._ "

The short-haired woman chuckles, drying her hands with a paper towel. "You had your chance, little Morello, but you blew it. Too bad so sad," she says while walking over to the door. "I'll catch ya later, anorexia. Have fun with your toilet date!" Her voice yells out through her exit.

* * *

Dinnertime has the cafeteria filled with hungry prisoners. Nicky sits down at her table, wondering where her brunette girlfriend could possibly be. It seems after their little love-making session, she disappeared. Her heart drops at the thought. Did she unintentionally do something to upset the woman?

As if on que, Red answers her question. "I think the cancer and treatment are having some sort of an effect on Lorna," she states while peering over at her daughter.

"Why? Is she okay? Have ya seen her, ma?" The redhead frantically throws out her questions, desperate to find out where her lover might have ventured off to.

Reaching across the table to grab a hold of her hands, Red gives a soft look into her brown eyes. "I don't think she's okay. She had a little—episode, we'll call it, in the kitchen. So, I told her to go rest. She wasn't too happy with me after that. She's not acting like herself, Nicky."

Nicky's heart beats faster. She stares impatiently at her mother, "What kind of episode are we talkin' bout' here, ma? What happened? Is she hurt—did my baby hurt herself?"

"She's not hurt—not physically anyway," the older woman gently assures her. She tightens her hold on Nicky's hand, letting her thumb caress gently against her knuckles. "She said that "the knife ruined the potato" and she threw it. Lorna got mad over not chopping up a potato the 'right' way. She told me not touch her, which is another thing that concerned me. This has to be from the brain tumor. Her behavior is not rational."

Nicky sighs and gathers her tray. "Fuck. I'm gonna go find her and make sure she hasn't done anything stupid. The last thing she needs is to get in trouble for shit she's not in control of. I'll see ya later, ma," she waves before bussing her trash and leaving the room.

* * *

Walking through the dorms, Nicky catches a glimpse of a familiar brunette lying on her own bed. She fastens her pace and sits down beside her head. Her fingers gently poke the sides of Lorna's face. "Hey, baby. What're ya doin' laying in my bunk? I mean I don't mind…just thought I'd ask," she soothingly questions, staring down at her with a strong amount of concern.

That voice instantly brings Lorna back to reality. Her eyes quickly pop open and peer back at her girlfriend. She shakily sighs. "I came to see if you were here but you weren't and I kinda just passed out on your bed. It has your scent, which is very comforting to me. I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to intrude in your bunk without you here. It-it just made me feel safe," she honestly replies, reaching her hand up to touch the redhead's face.

"Oh, my Lorna," Nicky softly says, lying down beside Lorna. Her arms wrap protectively around the other's waist, pulling her to lay against her body. "Don't be sorry, sweetie. I  _want_  you to feel safe. I'm glad you feel safe in my bed—you're always welcome to lay here, even when I'm not. My bed is your bed, kid."

She presses her lips delicately against Lorna's forehead. Her hands wrap around her face; she peers lovingly into her eyes, trying to read how she might be feeling. "Ma told me you had a little bit of an…irrational meltdown earlier. What's going on, babe? Talk to me; tell me what happened," Nicky carefully pleads.

"I—I don't know what she's talkin' about. She wouldn't let me do any work," the brunette responds.

Nicky gives her a firm look, leaning their foreheads softly against each other's. "Baby, she said you got upset over a potato. A damn potato, kid. What's the matter? Is it the tumor? Or the medicine? What is it, sweetie?"

Sighing, Lorna shakes her head and looks up at her girlfriend with fear in her eyes. She wishes she knew the answer to that question—the answer to why one minute everything's fine and the next she's ready to stab the hell out of someone. "I-I really don't know, Nicky, and that—that scares me. I've been getting these real bad fits of anger and I-I don't know how to stop em' but I need to find out how…please help me," she grips tightly onto the older woman, peering desperately up at her.

"You can't control it, Lorna. And I can't do anything to stop it, baby doll; it's gotta just run its course or somethin'. I mean we can talk to your doctor about it at your next chemo appointment. Maybe she knows a way to help with it," Nicky soothes, drawing the shorter woman closer into her arms. Her lips press delicately against her cheeks.

Lorna holds on tighter to her and shakes her head with more force. "You don't understand—I need to get these anger outbursts under control, Nicky. Or-or—"

The redhead pulls her head back down to lie softly on her chest. She brushes her hand tenderly through her dark waves of hair. "Shh, shh," her voice whisper lovingly against Lorna's ear. Her eyes gaze gently down into her lover's eyes. She sighs and uses her lips to stroke affectionately along the brunette's head. "Calm yourself down. You are not in control of these anger fits. It's not your fault; there's nothing you can do to stop them from happening. It's okay, Lorna, everything's okay. I'm right here. Close your eyes; let yourself sleep, you've had a rough day. You've earned yourself a well-deserved nap on the woman who will do anything for you. Please shut your eyes and rest, I'll be right here. I'll never leave you—I love you more than anyone, baby."


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Lots of fluff/comfort coming your way (if you read this). Mentions of past rape/abuse.
> 
> Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long with this chapter, I've been busy working on assignments for classes...it's a stressful semester, unfortunately, and that means it's harder for me to find time to write. But, anyway, I did force myself to spend this evening writing up the rest of this chapter and here it is. I hope those who read it like it. I promise there will be more action and drama coming soon. All reads, reviews, favorites/follows, are always appreciated.

_Chapter Twenty_

Another round of chemo, Lorna sucks in a tiring breath of air. The only positive side to this is that she gets out of the prison for a few hours a week—and she has her girlfriend to keep her from feeling too uncomfortable. Actually receiving the treatment, on the other hand, is the second most unpleasant thing she's had to endure. The dreadful side effects drain almost all of her energy—making it hard to function productively in prison.

With a sigh, she follows the nurse back to the treatment area and reluctantly sits down in the chair she's been assigned for however long she's to undergo chemotherapy. "The doctor has an MRI scheduled after your chemo appointment. She wants to check if the tumor has shrunk at all," the nurse kindly informs her while hooking her up to the medication.

"What if it's still the same?" Nicky throws out her question before the smaller woman beside her has a chance. Her arms instinctively wrap around Lorna while her eyes stare persistently over at the nurse.

Lorna grips tightly onto her girlfriend's hand; she waits anxiously for an answer to the question.

"I assume if the tumor hasn't gotten smaller, the doctor might higher the dosage of chemotherapy. Possibly add radiation therapy as well. You'll have to talk that over with the doctor. I'm not entirely sure of her plan," the nurse carefully explains before heading back over to the nurses' station.

* * *

A half-hour after the scan, Lorna finds herself anxiously sitting in the office of her oncologist. Her fingers nervously tap against the desk as she and Nicky wait for the doctor to come in. The sensation of her girlfriend's arms wrapping around her brings a slight comfort to her; she sighs, staring up at the redhead.

Running a hand tenderly through her brown hair, Nicky gives her a sympathetic smile. "You'll be okay, kid," her voice warm against the other's ear as she pecks her softly on the cheek.

"I hope so," the younger woman silently retorts before the door opens to reveal her doctor.

The doctor has a seat behind her desk, taking out the scan results from the envelop in her hands. She inhales a deep breath before staring across at her patient. "So, I've just had a look at the images—talked it over with the radiologist. Good news is the tumor seems to have shrunk somewhat, which means the chemo is working. But, unfortunately, where exactly the tumor is located will not be an easy place for the neurosurgeon to remove it—"

" _Neurosurgeon?_  When the fuck did we ever discuss removing the tumor? I don't want surgery. The chemo is good enough," Lorna bitterly cuts her off, scratching her nails angrily against the top of the desk.

A sigh escapes. The oncologist gets out a pamphlet and holds it up for the brunette to see. "Chemo will not get rid of the tumor on its own. It's used to help shrink the tumor so that it can be removed surgically. This pamphlet will help you understand everything better. You need to have surgery if you want to get rid of this tumor," she carefully points out, handing her the trifold piece of paper.

Nicky stares down at her girlfriend with love pouring through her big brown eyes. "I know it sounds scary, kid, but you need it. Ya wanna be without cancer, yeah?" She presses a soft kiss down to Lorna's forehead after she slowly nods her head. "Then ya gotta let the doctors help you. Brain surgery is scary; I know, doll, but it's the one thing that can save you. And  _you_  are so important, Lorna— _you_ are worth being saved."

Gently laying the brunette's head against her shoulder, Nicky sighs and peers across at the doctor. "What complications are there with her having this surgery? And be honest. She needs to know the truth. Don't sugar-coat anything."

Holding up an image of Lorna's brain, the doctor points to the tumor to help explain the complexity of removing it.

"The location of this tumor is not good. Removing it will likely paralyze her from the waist down. It can also cause speech problems, emotional disturbances, and possible chronic headaches. I've only seen brain tumors in this area in a handful of people throughout my career, and many of them didn't even make it to surgery. You're one of the lucky few, Miss Morello—we've caught it early in you. Yes, I understand, the complications aren't ideal or pleasant but you have a chance to survive this. You can still lead a semi-normal life after having this nasty tumor removed and I highly recommend you do. Without surgery,  _you will die_. Maybe not today or even this year, but soon enough you will."

Lorna profusely shakes her head. She gives a hard glare to both the doctor and Nicky. "Hell no. I refuse to give up the use of my legs. How long do I got if I just do chemo? What if we add radiation? Won't both those get rid of the tumor without needing surgery?" Her voice progressively gets louder.

"You need to get surgery, Miss Morello. That is the only way to get rid of the tumor. If you refuse that option, with only chemotherapy, you will only live for another year or two. The tumor you have is extremely aggressive. And yes, the chemo is working well now but in a month that may not be the case. Radiation does not do anything for the type of tumor you have. Look, I have another patient about to come in and you, obviously, need a day to think about all this. So, how about you go and when you come back on Friday for the chemo, you let me know what you want to do? Again, I really think you need to understand that surgery is the only way for you to be cured of this tumor."

* * *

Once they're back in the prison, Nicky carefully grabs Lorna by the hand and pulls her down the hall to the chapel. She brings her over to their spot behind the organ, sitting down beside her on the ground. Her fingers brush soothingly through her brown waves of hair. "Lorna, my baby, you have to go through with the surgery. Please, kid; you need it. That is absolutely the only way you'll survive. And I- _I_  fucking need you to live. I need you, Lorna," her voice practically begs as she stares longingly down into her eyes.

Tears line the brunette's eyes; she wraps her arms lovingly around her girlfriend's neck, letting her head nuzzle close against it. "I don't wanna leave ya, hon…but-but I don't—I don't wanna end up paralyzed, either. I don't want you to have to be burdened with that. You don't deserve that, Nicky. You're so sweet and loving and I want you to be happy. I don't want you to have to be stuck with me—not when I won't even be able to properly care for myself. That's not fucking fair to you, honey!  _It's not_ ," Lorna sobs out, letting her lips press softly against the redhead's cheek.

"Not this shit again, Lorna. You stop that talk right now!" Nicky grits her teeth, shaking her head furiously.

Her arms snake snugly around the Italian's petite body, pulling her as close to her as she can have her. She gazes down at her, tears slowly falling from her own eyes now, and places a soothing kiss atop her forehead. "So, you think you should fucking die just because ya claim you being paralyzed would burden me? Both of those things are absolute bullshit. You are getting this surgery; I will not let you let yourself die. You need to live. You need to live so you can be with me and I can take care of you. I fucking told you that I would take care of you even if ya did end up bed-ridden like your mother and I fucking meant that, sweetie. I'm here for you, Lorna. I'm your damn girlfriend, for fuck sake, I love you with my whole damn heart—I want to take care of you! You will never burden or be a burden to me. Get that fucking shit outta your damn head, kid. Why do you hate yourself so much? Please, Lorna… _baby,_ tell me—help me understand why ya think this way. What happened to you? What makes you belittle yourself the way you do? This can't just be from the Mendez shit. This is deep hate that you just can't seem to shake off…You've been harboring this inside of you for a while, haven't you doll? And what that dick-fucker did to ya brought it back and made it worse, huh?" Nicky's voice softens as does her eyes; she lovingly lays Lorna's head onto her chest while caressing her fingers through her hair.

The brunette looks away, tears continuing to pour from her eyes. On one hand, she finds it so special that Nicky can easily read her and see through to her issues; but, at the same time, she also finds that somewhat irritating.

"Okay, okay…I-I'll go through with the damn surgery. But please don't feel like you have to stick around afterwards. You have no clue how hard it is to be stuck caring for someone like my family does for my mom. It's too much work. You don't deserve that, Nicky."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Nicky gives a stern look into her girlfriend's eyes. "You're damn right you're going through with it—there's no fucking way in hell I can risk losing the love of my life. And I will be sticking around;  _I want_  to take care of my angelic Lorna. I also would like for you to answer my questions. There's gotta be a deeper reason for this unrelenting need to call yourself a burden…seriously, kid, tell me," the redhead desperately pleads, her arms wrapping tighter around the other's petite body.

"How, how the hell do you do that?" Lorna throws out her question, eyes wide as they peer up into Nicky's.

Nicky brushes the tips of her fingers soothingly across her cheek and pecks a soft kiss to her lips. "Do what? Figure out that something's been bothering my baby for so long, even when she hasn't said a word about it?" Her hands cup tenderly around her girlfriend's face as she stares lovingly into her eyes. "Baby,  _I love you—_ I can easily see right through you. I know there's a bigger issue causing ya to feel this way about yourself and I need you to tell me what it is."

"No, there's nothing to talk about. Nothing's happened aside from the Mendez shit," the younger woman defiantly responds, crossing her arms irritatingly over her chest.

Rolling her eyes, Nicky stares sternly at her. "That's a lie and you know it. Ya think I don't remember you tellin' me that he wasn't the first person to rape you?! Look, I get that talking about your problems is not your favorite thing to do but it's important—especially if ya ever wanna feel better about yourself," she points out.

"Ya know I wasn't particularly fond of telling you about my childhood back when we were in the SHU but I did it anyway. You know why? Because I love you and you deserve to know what's happened in my past—well, and to keep you from having a panic attack. The point, I'm trying to make here kid, is that you need to talk to me about what happened. You're my girlfriend and I need to know how I can help you."

Lorna sighs. Of course Nicky would remember such a faint detail, she exasperatingly thinks.

"It was a long time ago, Nicky. Way before I even started the online scamming stuff…that was probably the reason I did that, now that I think about it."

Nicky's eyes soften; she pulls the brunette against her and pecks her comfortingly on the forehead. "I don't care when it happened—you still need to talk about it. Who the fuck would do such a heinous thing to you? Is that how ya ended up with your first child? That Christopher guy violated you?!" Her teeth gritting with the amount of anger building up inside.

Immediately, the other shakes her head profusely. "No, no absolutely not. Christopher would never do something so evil! He's-he's my—oh my God,  _shit!_  Nicky, he's still my fucking fiancé! I-I'm a, oh dear God, I'm a fucking cheating whore—I can't believe I forgot about him…shit, he's gonna be so fucking mad," Lorna cries, pulling herself up and pacing anxiously around the room. She's sickened with herself; how could she do this to the man she promised to one day marry—or the man she had to pretend to one day marry?

"Lorna, Lorna…calm down." Nicky gets up as well, walking over to her. Her arms envelop tight around her waist; she stares piercingly down into her eyes, "You  _are not_  a cheating whore. If that piece of shit really loved you, he'd fucking come here to visit ya once in a while. But he hasn't come at all, has he? Be honest with me, kid. Has he even once paid ya a visit?"

"Well—I mean, he-he was in the hospital for a while…ya know, after being in the car wreck with-with our son. It's not really his fault for not coming. God, I'm so awful. Not only have I been cheating on him—but I've been cheating on him while he's stuck in the damn hospital! What's wrong with me, Nicky? I don't understand!"

Firmly holding her girlfriend's face in her hands, a small breath of air escapes Nicky. She tenderly traces her finger along the other's porcelain cheeks. "There's nothing wrong with you, baby. He's had ample time to come here—that's no excuse. It doesn't take five months for him to heal from a car accident, does it?"

Her lips brush lightly along Lorna's forehead; she gazes down at her with a serious expression on her face. "I need ya to answer something for me, kid. Do you love him still?"

Lorna relaxes somewhat into her arms and squeezes her eyes shut. Her arms wrap snug around Nicky's neck, "No. Definitely not. I love  _you_ , Nicky. You just—you're perfect. I can live without Christopher. I can't live without you; you're my miracle. I just—I'm mad at myself for doing this—for letting myself start a relationship before ending my other one. That just proves how horrible I can be."

Hearing that makes Nicky's head shake. "There is absolutely nothing about you that's horrible, Lorna. You've been kinda preoccupied with your own shithole of problems to have to be bothered with him. You have good reason to have forgotten about it. But, now that it's on your mind, it'd probably would be best for you to break it off with him," she sternly tells her. She pulls her close, letting her hands run soothingly through her dark hair.

"I know,  _I know_. I need to—especially if I'm gonna go through with this brain surgery. I gotta tell him before that, ya know, just in case I lose my memory after they cut into my damn brain," the brunette lets out a sigh.

" _Hey_ , none of that negativity. You will be fine, kid. You're not gonna lose your memory. The doctor didn't even mention that as a complication."

Lorna nods and rolls her eyes. "Right. I'll just be wheelchair bound forever with the possibility of headaches for the rest of my life and  _maybe_ , I won't even be able to talk correctly. Yeah, this surgery is looking _so_  much better than cancer."

The older woman pecks her soothingly on the head, peering down at her with love seeping through her eyes. " _Baby_ , you'll be okay. I'm gonna be right here with you through all of it. I'm not gonna let you suffer. Surgery  _is_  better than cancer— _cancer will kill you_ , doll…"

Nuzzling her head into the crook of Nicky's neck, Lorna exhales deeply and peers up at her. "Nicky, are you really sure you wanna be with me still after this surgery? I really don't want you to feel like ya have to if it's not something ya want. I love you so much, hon, and I just—I don't want you to feel pressured into staying with me outta pity or nothin'."

"Yes, my sweet doll, I am a million percent sure that I wanna be with you after ya have this operation. I love you with my entire being, kid, there ain't no way I could go even one day without ya. I don't care what the outcome is; that will absolutely not change how much I love you. You are and always will be the love of my life. And I will be with you for the rest of our lives—I will take care of you for as long as we live, Lorna," Nicky lovingly confirms, swiping her lips tenderly against Lorna's.

Her eyes staring tenderly down into her girlfriend's, Nicky smiles softly and strokes a finger delicately across her face. "You look exhausted; close your eyes and rest, baby. You've had a long day at the hospital. Sleep will do ya good."

* * *

Franny stares, in both shock and concern, across the table at her sister and Nicky. She can't believe her ears—that her baby sister has the exact same illness as their mother and that, in just a short couple of weeks, she will be going through extensive brain surgery. "How the hell do you have cancer too? What the fuck is this—let's see how much shit Lorna can deal with before she explodes?"

Sighing, Lorna shrugs her shoulders. "Might as well be. I think this prison is cursed, Fran. Ever since I cam here, all these bad things happen."

"That's what it seems like," the older sister grits her teeth. She looks over at the redhead, curiosity peaking in her blue eyes. "So, they let ya go with my sister to the hospital? How's that possible? I mean, I'm glad it is—at least someone's there to take care of her."

Before Nicky can even open her mouth to speak, Lorna answers for her with a beaming glow of love shining off of her face. "Nicky's an angel, that's why! She dished out her own money just for me to be able to find out if me and mom have a genetic brain cancer. Her hard-earned money she used on me—she's fucking saved my life, Fran."

Her girlfriend's answer makes Nicky desperately want to pull her into a tight embrace but she must refrain herself if she doesn't want to get thrown out from the visitation room. Instead, she settles for gently patting her leg underneath the table. "I'm no angel, kid. You deserved to find out what was wrong and were well-worth having the money spent on. You're the sweetest girl in this prison," she carefully tells her.

"Wow," Franny starts off, staring between the two women. "How kind of ya to do that, Nicky. You must really care about my baby sister to pay for her to get medical testing—I'm sure it wasn't cheap. Let me know if I can do anything to pay ya back. I might be able to scrounge up some money by pickin' up another job. That was really nice of you. You didn't have to do that."

"Hey, it's all good. You don't needa pay me back for it. I'd do anything for your sweet sister. She's a beautiful soul who deserves to live. If I hadn'ta gave this prison the money, those assholes wouldn't let her get tested. I certainly did have to do it and  _I'm happy_  I did."

The older brunette plasters a soft smile on her face. "Thank you so much for being such a good friend to Lorna. She's never had someone like you in her life; I'm glad she found you…though, not the circumstances, of course."

Lorna and Nicky share a look. The brunette inwardly gulps but decides to inform her sister about their relationship. She hopes and prays that the older woman is okay with it. She couldn't handle it if her own sister hated her just because of who she loves.

"Nicky's not just my friend, Fran…she and I—we're kinda girlfriends. I know it's not right for me to be in love with another woman and everything, but I can't help it. Please don't be mad or tell dad," she desperately begs.

Franny cautiously reaches across the table to place a comforting hand over top of her sister's. She smiles kindly at her; not at all disgusted with her. In fact, she's quite the opposite. "Lorna, I just want you to be happy. And if she makes ya happy and loves you as much as she says, than I'm all for it. I mean, obviously, she loves ya a lot or she wouldn'ta paid for your tests. Dad won't hear a word from me nor will Mikey."

"I love your sister with all my heart," Nicky sternly confirms, peering over at the brunette.

Nodding slowly, Franny continues to smile at them. "Good. As long as you take care of her and treat her with compassion, we won't have a problem."

Nicky nods as well, holding Lorna's hand under the table, "Of course. I'll always take care of her—she will never have to through such horrific abuse again, not with me."

Lorna shakes her head, giving a hard look towards her sister. "That's enough Franny. Nicky's got a heart of gold," she confirms, brushing her fingers lightly over knuckles. "Moving on…I need you to see if Christopher will come here next weekend. I need to break off the engagement; I can't keep cheating on him."

Squinting her eyes in concern, Franny peers worriedly at the youngest woman. Not the fiancé escapade again, she thinks with exasperation. "Lorna, come on—don't do this. That shit-fucker is not even your fiancé. Please don't tell me you've been telling Nicky you're engaged to him…we both know that's not true. He's not worthy of you—he fucking—"

"Franny, he  _is_  my fiancé and I need to break up with him. He didn't do nothin'."

Crossing her arms angrily over her chest, the older sister rolls her eyes and glares at the petite woman across from her. "Stop it, Lorna! He's not your damn fiancé and he did do shit! He fucking raped you and abused you just like the shitty officer, here, did! Christopher is just as evil as that guard. You need to stop pretending that he loves you—he's a scum bucket and deserves no part of you. And if you're in love with Nicky, like you say you are, then you need to be fucking honest with her. She deserves to know the truth. She won't wanna stay with you if you're gonna make up shit to tell her. That's not how real relationships work, Lorn…"

Lorna shakes her head in a fuming rage and throws herself up from the chair. She glares darkly at her older sister, throwing her middle finger up at her, " _Fuck you_!  _You're_  the fucking liar, Franny! Bitch!" Before she can make her dramatic exit, unfortunately, a familiar CO walks over to her and forcefully yanks her away from the table.

" _Hey!_ " Franny yells, hurriedly getting out of her seat and jogging towards them. "Let go of her—you're being too rough! Come on, it's not like she was gonna do nothin'. Let her go!"

The CO cuffs Lorna's hands around her back and then turns to glare at the other. "Fuck off. This ain't her first time getting angry at other people—she has a one-way ticket to the SHU. And if you wanna come back here to visit her, you better leave now or I'll make sure they erase you from her visitor's list."

Rage boils in Nicky when she hears this. She walks over, her hands balled into fists at her sides. She shakes her head while staring harshly at the officer. There's no way in hell she'll allow Lorna to be put in that hellhole again—especially not by herself. "No way—there's no way you can throw her there! She can't control her anger; she fucking has a huge ass tumor on her brain. This is not her fault! She can't be locked up in the SHU—she has to go to chemo appointments every other day. Please, have a heart, don't throw her in that evil place. She needs people," the redhead does her best to plead with him.

Grunting out a frustrated sigh, he rolls his eyes and bleakly throws the petite brunette into Nicky's arms. He peers beadily at her, "Fine, but she's your responsibility now. You had better make sure ya keep the  _little princess_  in check or else. And you," he points to Franny, "better fucking leave now or you won't be coming back."

* * *

Nicky sits on her bunk beside Lorna just staring at her. She takes in her features, noticing the faint pain hiding in her eyes and sighs. Instinctively, her arms slowly draw the brunette to lay against her. She runs a hand tenderly up and down her back while pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "Talk to me, baby. Come on. You gotta tell me what happened," her voice gently soothes into her ear.

"What's there to tell? My sister fuckin' pretty much blabbed it all out already. I ain't got nothin' else to say," is Lorna's infuriated response.

"Calm down," the redhead whispers tenderly, nuzzling her chin against the top of Lorna's head. Her eyes pour softly down into the other's; she caresses her knuckles delicately against her cheeks. "What made ya wanna cover up what he did? Why wouldn't ya tell me it was him who hurt you? I don't understand, kid. I love you so much…why are you so afraid to talk to me about what the fuck happened to you?"

Rage continues to bubble inside of the brunette. She tries to keep it in but that's proving to be quite the chore. "I—I don't fuckin' know. Right now, I'm really not in the damn mood to talk about it! Please stop it, Nicky. You're making my headache worse," Lorna groans, using her knuckles to rub harshly around her own forehead.

Nicky sighs but pulls her girlfriend closer. She kisses her softly on the forehead, hoping to bring some comfort to the pain she's experiencing. "Fine, but eventually you are talking to me about it. You're not gonna keep shit from me, kid. Now, lay your head on my chest and let me comfort you. I'll make your headache disappear; we can't have ya suffering, baby," she lovingly commands, wrapping her arms snug around her waist.

* * *

It's the middle of the night when Lorna wakes up with a stabbing-like headache and extreme nausea taking over her body. She can barely sit up with how intense both feelings are. An involuntary scream escapes her as she holds her hands on either side of her head.

The scream awakens Red from her slumber. She hurriedly jumps out of the bed and rushes to sit beside the brunette. "What's the matter, sweetheart? Are you in pain? Need to me to get Caputo?" Her arms pull the convulsing woman into a strong embrace; she softly rocks her to calm her down.

"Bathroom—I-I need to vomit…but-but it hurts too much to move," Lorna cries out, holding desperately onto the older woman with her eyes squeezed shut to try to minimize the nauseating pain.

Brushing a hand through her hair, Red nods her head. "Shh, shh. It's okay; I'll bring you there. You're gonna be all right, honey," she soothes, standing up and starting to head down the hall to the bathroom.

Once they make it there, the Russian chef carefully guides her to a stall and holds the door for her while she does her business. The sound of her heaving breaks her heart terribly. It pains her to see one of her prison daughters suffer through such an atrocious disease such as cancer.

Nicky comes out of a nearby stall and becomes panicked when she sees her mother. She rushes over, giving a concerned glance between she and the door she seems to be guarding. "Who's in there, ma?"

"Lorna's not feeling very well—must be all those nasty chemicals from the chemo…poor baby," Red sadly answers, patting her daughter's shoulder tenderly.

The redhead immediately opens the stall-door and walks over to her girlfriend. She kneels behind her, gathers her hair gently in one hand, and uses the other hand to rub soothing circles around her back. "Let it all out, baby. I'm right here. I've got ya," her voice tenderly says. Witnessing Lorna in so much pain brings tears to her eyes. Cancer is evil, she thinks with the shake of her head. She would do anything to take this nasty illness away from her lover.

It finally subsides some as Lorna flushes the toilet and wipes her face with a piece of toilet paper. She timidly turns to face Nicky, her face red with embarrassment. "I-I'm s-sorry," her words fumble out.

Nicky lifts her chin so their eyes are met with one another. A firmness shines through her own; she shakes her head. "Don't be.  _You're sick_. You can't control this kinda stuff. Do not be embarrassed—I know it's gross and all but,  _baby,_  you can't control this. Your body is being drenched with fucking nasty chemicals…course' you're not gonna feel too good after that. That is nothing to be embarrassed about! I love you no matter what, kid," she whispers, pulling her into her arms for a soothing embrace.

Another sharp pain courses through the brunette's head; she has to hold tightly onto Nicky to keep herself from falling to the floor from how intense it is. "H-help, Ni-Nicky," her voice hardly louder than a whisper.

"I've got you, sweetie. It's okay; you're right here with me. Shh, shh. How bad is the pain? Do you need me to carry ya down to medical?" Nicky worriedly inquiries, her arms tightening around the woman she loves. Her lips peck softly all over Lorna's head, trying to soothe away the pain somehow.

Lorna profusely shakes her head but, unfortunately, that hyphens the pain even more. She can't stop herself from letting out a blood-curdling scream.

Tears gather in Nicky's eyes. She does her best to try to soothe and comfort her girlfriend by rocking her but it does no good. "I gotta take ya there, kid. You're in too much pain. Close your eyes, snuggle into my arms until I get you there. I know you're hurting a lot, just try not to think about it. I'm gonna get you taken care of, baby. Shh, shh," she soothes into her ear, beginning to leave the room.

Suddenly, Lorna's body goes limp in Nicky's arms. Her eyes widen in fear; she tightens her arms and shakes her a little—hoping to wake her. "Lorna,  _Lorna_ , wake up! Come on, doll, don't do this…wake up. Please don't fucking die on me!  _Don't you dare die_ , baby!" She holds her tight in her arms, running down the hallway with her—desperately praying the woman she loves doesn't die.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Author's Note: For once, I finally hit my word-count goal for a chapter! This is a bit longer than usual as a lot of stuff happens in this chapter (plus I really wanted to get this story to 100,000 words...even though on AO3 it'll only be 94,000 :( lol). I tried to make this a little more packed with some action, but this does focus a lot on Lorna's recovery after brain surgery. And, sorry, but the first half (maybe a little less) doesn't contain much Lorna/Nicky...but never fear, there's some fluffy goodness towards the end. Oh, darn, I just spoiled it. Thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, favorites/follows - I appreciate that so much :)
> 
> Warnings: Mentioned drugs/thoughts of using drugs, Lorna and Nicky suffer without each other (temporarily for half a chapter), slight verbal bullying (slight = one sentence lol), minor verbal abuse/physical force.

_Chapter Twenty-One_

Lorna slowly starts to regain consciousness. Her eyes pop open to find that she's no longer in the prison anymore. Instead, she finds herself surrounded by a variety of different medical devices. A doctor hovers over her staring heavily into her eyes, once she realizes her patient is awake, "Welcome back, Miss Morello," she softly addresses the panicked brunette. "You've been heavily comatose for the past few days. How are you feeling?"

"Ni-Nicky—where, where's Nicky?" The brunette's voice quaveringly inquiries; her brown eyes gazing frantically up at her oncologist.

With a quiet sigh, she walks closer to her patient and begins a quick examination of her head and eyes. "I'm sorry, honey, but the prison wouldn't allow her to stay with you. Can you tell me how you're feeling? Does your head hurt?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Lorna continues to stare at the other. "Where am I? Why am I not in prison?"

"You're in the hospital—you need to undergo surgery to remove that tumor and soon, it appears to be getting worse. That's why you've passed out and were unconscious for days. I have you scheduled for tomorrow morning. I know it's scary, Lorna, but this is the only way for you to live."

* * *

"Nicky, come on," Tricia pleads, lightly shaking her from her sleep. "Ya gotta get up—don't wanna be late for electrical, do ya?" She tries her best to wake her but to no avail.

The redhead buries herself deeper under her blanket, not in the mood to get up and face the day. She can't face it—not when the woman she loves is suffering alone in the hospital…and she has no idea how she's doing. "Go away," she mumbles through her hair, pulling the blanket to cover up her face.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Tricia decides to get some reinforcement—realizing she's not going to be able to wake her bunk-mate up on her own—and heads down to Red's cube. She walks over to where she's sitting – on the chair behind her bed – tapping her lightly on the shoulder to avert her attention. "Hey, Red," she calls out, watching as the Russian woman sets aside her book and turns to face her.

"You need something, Trish?" Red carefully inquiries, arching her eyebrows in concern. She places her book back in its place on her rusty shelf.

The blonde slowly nods her head, gesturing for she to follow her. She takes her back to the cube she shares with Nicky and points over at the still refusing to wake up redhead lying in the messy bed across from hers. "Ya needa get her to wake up. She won't budge. And I gotta get down to electrical before Luschek gives me a shot—I'll just tell him she's sick," Tricia says before leaving for her work shift.

Red lets out a sigh as her eyes peer empathetically over at her daughter. Gently, she makes her way over to the bed and perches herself down beside her head—scooping it into her hands to place it comfortingly onto her lap. Her hand brushes lovingly through Nicky's bush of matted red hair. "I know you're worried for Lorna but you still need to wake up and face the day, my Nicky. Time doesn't just stop because you're hurting," her voice soothes.

"How can I fucking function when I have no damn clue how Lorna is—if she's even fucking alive!" She slams her first against the frame of the bed she sits on, her eyes dark with rage and fear for her girlfriend.

The Russian woman wraps her arms tight around her daughter, pulling her in for a comforting embrace. She presses a motherly kiss atop Nicky's head. It makes her heart ache deeply to see the redhead so distraught—she longs to have the power to make Lorna's cancer disappear so that the two of them can finally be happy together. "Getting angry isn't gonna help matters, Nicky. I'll try talking to Caputo and see if he can get an update on her—but you need to keep yourself calm," Red firmly tells her, running her hand soothingly through the other's red hair.

* * *

Franny sits beside her sister's bed, hours past the finishing of her operation, and uses her hand to continuously brush through her dark hair. Her eyes focus on a book that she holds with her other hand. A persistent tug on her arm immediately pulls her out of the story—she peers worriedly across at her sister, who seems to finally be awake. "How ya feelin', Lorn?" She softly asks, walking over to get a closer look.

The brunette looks up at her with a pained look in her eyes. She's never felt such a horrifying headache before. This is worse than anything she's ever experienced—it feels as though a knife is being injected on both sides of her head at once. "Mmmm—" Lorna quickly realizes that speaking is not going to work as a plausible way of communication. Her eyes widen in fear; she grips tightly onto the older woman's hand.

"Calm down, Lorn; it's okay," Franny hushes, cautiously wrapping her in a comforting embrace. She lets one of her hands trace softly along her sister's frightened face. "You just had major brain surgery, sweetheart; of course you're gonna need some time to regain your voice. How bad's the pain? Ya want me to get a nurse or anything?"

Lorna silently shakes her head, letting her eyes focus down on her legs—covered by the thin blanket. While staring at them, it suddenly dawns on her that she might not even be able to use them anymore. So, to test such theory, she decides to try and get herself out of the bed…failing miserably as neither leg budges; they lie on the mattress like dead-weight rocks.

Her face lifts back up to stare back at Franny. She points to her legs and over to the door. "Nnnn," she tries to voice her thoughts without any luck.

The older sister sighs. Her arms wrap gently around Lorna's head, pressing a soothing kiss to it. "I'm gonna go find ya a nurse—maybe see if one of em' can get the doctor. We need to know what's going on with you, Lornie," she kindly informs her, giving one last squeeze before she releases the embrace and walks towards the door. Franny turns to stare at her sister and gently adds, "I'll be quick. Just maybe try to rest, okay?"

* * *

"So, unfortunately, as I mentioned to you last week—removing the tumor did paralyze you from the waist down and your speech is not gonna be perfect for at least a few months. You can try therapy to help with your voice but I can't promise you that will work. You might also have emotional imbalances but those should subside within a year, maybe less. The positive side is you're going to live and you're cancer-free," Lorna's oncologist carefully says, standing at the end of her bed—looking her over with sympathy shining through her eyes.

Franny's eyebrows arch frantically. She grabs her sister's hand while staring firmly across the room towards the doctor. "She can barely say anything, now. How the hell is it gonna get better without any help?"

The doctor glances over at her patient's sister and sighs. "Right now, some of the speech problem is from just having a major operation on her brain—the most vital organ in one's entire body. It's going to take time for it to heal. We need to wait a few days before we make any assumptions on whether this is permanent or not. As for communicating with her, you can have her write down what she's feeling and what she might need. If it gets worse before I come back, let one of the nurses know and we'll have to get a scan done. Otherwise, just make sure she rests and keeps down sips of water. I'll be back in the morning," she informs them before leaving the room to continue her rounds for the night.

Shaking her head, Franny flips up her middle finger at the door. "She ain't very helpful," she mutters bitterly. The feeling of fingers lightly tapping her shoulder instantly turns the slight irritation into concern. Her eyes gaze worriedly into her sisters; she walks over to sit beside her, running her thumb tenderly across her forehead, "What's the matter, Lorn?"

Lorna lightly shakes her head and writes down something on a piece of paper she found lying on the moveable tray near the side of her bed. When she's finished, she holds it up and points profusely at the written word.

"Nicky," the older brunette reads aloud. She sighs, giving her sister a puzzled gaze. "I know you want to see her but they won't let her come here. Ya want me to go visit her and let her know how you're doing? That's the best I can do, love."

Nodding her head with a small amount of enthusiasm, Lorna holds out her arms for a much-needed embrace. The other immediately complies—coming over and wrapping her arms comfortingly around her shoulders. "Gggggg—"

Franny momentarily pulls away to stare firmly down at the younger woman. "What'd the doctor say about trying to talk? Keep quiet. I'll go visit her this weekend and tell her how ya are. And I'll make sure to tell her you said you love her—I know that's what you were trying to say. Right now, I think it's time you get some rest," she gently commands, laying her sister back down in her bed. She wraps the blanket around her and gives a soothing kiss to her forehead.

* * *

Nicky sits mindlessly in the rec-room—her eyes glued to the uninteresting show on the TV in front of her—when she hears her name over the loudspeaker. She's somewhat taken aback to find that she has a visitor but soon realizes it must be Franny. She briskly walks her way down to the visitation room, worry written all over her face. Her thoughts run a mile minute; she hopes this visit isn't to bring tragic news.

Sitting herself in the chair on the other side of the table—right across from the brunette—she tries to read her facial expression but can't make anything out. "How's Lorna? Is she okay? Is she alive?" She throws her questions out at once—too worried about her girlfriend to care if she's bombarding the woman across from her.

"She's recovering from having the tumor removed. Honestly, I'm not sure how she is right now," Franny gently answers, staring down at her hands. She lets out a sigh; the past few days have been almost too much for her sister—it makes her heart ache to see her suffer like this. "She's having a hard time talking…can't hardly say a word let alone express how she feels! And this idiot of a doctor wants us to just sit back and watch her lose her damn mind—it's fucked up. I don't know how the hell to help her.  _You're_  what she needs right now, Nicky, but why the hell would this shitty prison let you be there with her? Isn't it enough that you gave this greedy-money-hungry people the money to get her taken care of?"

Nicky shakes her head; rage slowly starts to boil within her but she does her best to push it aside. She looks gently across at the older woman, cautiously stroking a thumb over her knuckle when the CO isn't looking. "That's good that she's finally rid of the tumor. Poor baby. I hate that I can't fucking be there with her—I fucking promised her I would take care of her," her voice thick with anger; she scrapes her nails against the top of the table.

"It's not like that's your fault…you're kinda stuck here in prison. Lorna understands. She's the reason I'm here today, in fact. She wants to make sure you know she loves you and misses you."

The redhead feels her heart soar. She nods slowly. "Believe me, I know she does. And I love that precious girl right back—too much. It sucks being here without her. But I feel a little bit better knowing that she's still alive and doesn't have to be bothered with that tumor anymore. Please hug her and hold her for me. I'll be right here waitin' for her—however long that may be."

* * *

Hours drag on slowly. Nicky grunts out in irritation. She forces herself out of the rec-room and down to the cafeteria for dinner. After quickly making her way through the food-line, with only a minimal amount of food on her tray, she drags wretchedly on over to her table and sits down. She solemnly moves her fork around on the tray but doesn't feel the need to lift it towards her mouth.

"You okay?" A voice cautiously questions bringing the redhead to stare away from the food and over at Alex—who's blue eyes look at her with worry.

Nicky slightly shrugs, continuing to mess about with her meal. "I'm just fucking worried about Lorna," she exhales a solemn breath of air.

The black-haired woman momentarily fixes her gaze on the floor, not sure what to say. She feels nothing but empathy for her two friends—it seems all they've done is suffer these past several weeks. "How's she doin'?"

"Not too good from what her sister tells me," Nicky bitterly starts off, stabbing her fork roughly over the dried up meatball that sits on her tray. "The only positive side is that she doesn't have a brain tumor anymore…"

"The doctor said there would be permanent side effects—fucking bitch just had to be right—because now Lorna's fucking paralyzed and can't talk well. I fucking hate cancer—why the fuck did it have to come and make my baby lose two of her important abilities?! Why the fuck is life is so damn unfair to her? What the hell did that sweet woman do to deserve any of this shit?! Absolutely nothing! This is bullshit," Nicky growls, slamming her fists angrily against the table.

The rage—that she tried so desperately to keep in—comes pouring out of her and she doesn't bother to stop it. She's too infuriated to care about holding herself together anymore. She grabs the plastic knife and stabs it over and over on the food—not caring that it's making a mess. This is the only way she can get some of her rage out without breaking things or hurting anyone.

Alex tries to calm her down but Tricia—sitting beside her—shakes her head. "Let her be. Nothin' will help when she gets like this," the blonde informs her.

From her place in the kitchen, Red gets a glimpse of her daughter's outburst and immediately stops what she's doing to run over to her. She pulls her up from the table, gathers her what's left of her tray, and brings her out of the cafeteria. After the tray is thrown away, she takes a firm hold of one of Nicky's hands—taking her back to her cube. She sits Nicky down on the bed immediately—once they're in her bunk—and takes a good look at her.

"It's been a rough few days for you, yes?" Her voice unusually soft as she stares down at her daughter with deep empathy shining in her blue orbs. She feels her heart ache at the sight of tears welling up in Nicky's eyes—something she rarely sees happen. Instantly, her arms wrap protectively around her pulling her in for a soothing embrace.

She lies in the bed, holding her daughter tight in her arms. "It's okay, my sweet Nicky," she brushes a comforting kiss against her forehead, gazing sadly down into her eyes. "I know it's hard without Lorna—but she'll back when she's feeling better and until then, I'll take care of you. You can't be going around here getting angry; that's not gonna do you any good, sweetheart."

Nicky desperately clings to her mother—needing the comfort to help ease her pent up emotions. Her arms wrap around Red's shoulders as her lead nestle into the crook of her neck. "I love you, ma," she says with a faint sniffle.

"I love you too," Red strokes a hand delicately through her thick bush of hair and pulls the blanket up to cover them. Her lips press soothingly atop Nicky's head as she peers softly down at her, "Close your eyes, it's okay. You look like a little rest will benefit you."

* * *

On her way out of the electrical shop, the next afternoon, Nicky is stopped at the door by Officer Luschek. He motions for her to follow him to his desk and—once she does—he grabs a small baggie, dangling it in her face. She looks at it in horror. The one drug that's taken away her freedom is being thrown in her face. She shakes her head, trying to back away but he persists.

"Look, Nichols, I've seen how mopey you've been the last week and I figured this might cheer ya up some," his voice oddly genuine as he tries to hand her the bag of heroin. "Come on, take it. I done saved this specifically for you…don't be rude."

Nicky gulps. Her hands shakily reach for the beloved drug. She hates herself for so easily giving in but—with how disheveled her emotions are—she can't seem to help herself. Maybe a little snort of her beloved heroin might help take some of the sorrow she's experiencing away. "Gee, thanks—glad to know you think I'd slip so easily back into being a drug addict. What a shitty CO you are, Luschek," she mutters, rolling her eyes but places the tiny packet into her shirt pocket.

He flips her off. "Shut up, Nichols. Be glad I'm not one of them who actually does his job—you'd have a list of shots by now that warrant you a stay in the SHU. Now, get the fuck outta here and enjoy the complimentary heroin. I hope to see you in a better mood tomorrow!"

The redhead turns to leave, gripping one hand inside the pocket to make sure it's still there. She sighs. To use it or not is a thought that runs through her mind as she walks down the hall to the bathroom. She slowly enters and goes to sit in one of the stalls. Reaching into the pocket, she takes out the small bag of heroin and stares heavily at it—contemplating whether to do anything with it.

She's about to open it when she hears footsteps seeming to make their way past her stall—that she just now realizes she forgot to shut—and stopping in front of it. "What're ya doin' in there, Nicky? What's that in your hand?"

Nicky immediately throws the bag back in her pocket and stares slyly up at Alex. "I'm enjoying the solitary that this stall provides me with. What's what in my hand?" She questions, holding them out as if there was never anything in them to begin with.

"The bag you just were holding and looking at, Nicky. Don't play dumb—I watched you throw it back in your pocket. What's so bad about it that you have to hide it from other people?" The black-haired woman arches an eyebrow piqued in curiosity.

Letting out a groan, Nicky rolls her eyes and gives an annoyed glance at the other. "Why do ya like sticking your nose in other people's business, huh? What's it matter to you if I got some kinda bag sitting in my pocket or not?"

Alex gives a slight shrug of her shoulder, "I'm just tryin' to be a friend and help you out. But if you don't want it, that's fine too—I'll leave you to whatever you were about to do." She says, backing out of the stall and heading nearer the exit.

"Wait," Nicky huffs out a sigh. She gets up from the toilet, walking out of the stall and over to the taller woman. "I didn't mean to be so bitchy about it—I'm just not…I don't feel the same without Lorna here. She's like a piece a me now and I feel like a half-living person when she's gone. Yeah, I know, that doesn't make it right for me to be a bitch to you and everyone else. I'm sorry. You just—ya don't understand how hard it is to be ripped away from your soulmate. It's fucking hell, Alex."

Hearing that brings strong sympathy to the black-haired woman's eyes. She shakes her head and pulls her in for a friendly embrace, peering gently down into her brown orbs. "No,  _I'm_  sorry. I shouldn't be so defensive, especially when you're only acting out because of how much ya miss your girlfriend. I know—well, we all know—you've had a hellish past few days with her being stuck back in the hospital and I'm so sorry ya have to deal with that. Hopefully, she'll get better soon and be brought back here in a few weeks. The two a you been through hell lately," she mutters.

"Ain't that the fuckin' truth? But, believe me, my Lorna's had it a thousand times worse than me. I just want her to be healthy and safe and with me. And I fucking hope it's soon, too, because I don't know how much longer I can take being separated from her."

* * *

Two weeks past Lorna's tumor removal she finds herself being taken back to the prison. The hospital graciously provides her with a wheelchair and pain medication that is handed over to the CO on duty. She sits solemnly in the back seat of the van, staring down at her legs—the legs that provide no use to her anymore. Even her voice isn't providing her with much; she still can hardly talk—only able to stutter out a few words at a time. She exhales a deep breath and settles in for the somewhat long ride back to her temporary home. The only good thing is she'll be reunited with Nicky and that makes everything worth it.

* * *

Nicky's been sitting in her mother's bunk all morning waiting for her girlfriend's arrival. The sound of wheels rolling along the cold marble floor alerts the redhead that Lorna is here. Immediately, her head perks up and she lays eyes on that familiar brunette beauty. She feels her heart swell with warmth. She quickly jumps out of the chair and makes her way over to the wheelchair.

Her hands cup lovingly around the brunette's pale cheeks. A soft smile spreads across her face. "My Lorna," she tenderly whispers, kissing her delicately on the cheek. "It's been hell without you, babe. How are you? Are you okay? Are you in any pain, baby?"

Lorna reaches her hands up to place affectionately on either side of Nicky's cheeks. She strokes them with the palms of her hands and smiles faintly at her. "I-I-I mmmm-mm-miss-missed y-y-yo-you," her voice stutters out; she frowns in frustration. The speech still hasn't improved much for her, which worries her tremendously—she already has to live without mobility, there's no way she can live without talking too.

"Does it hurt you to talk? That sounds painful, baby," Nicky lovingly inquiries, gazing softly down into her orbs. She sighs, brushing a hand soothingly through her girlfriend's dark hair. "You sweet little thing—I missed ya too, kid. So fuckin' much. I'm just so glad you're alive and don't have to fucking deal with cancer anymore. Life has been nothing but unfair for you and that needs to stop."

She carefully gathers Lorna out of the wheelchair and into her arms, bringing her over to one of the beds. Once she has Lorna lying on the mattress, she gets in beside her and envelopes her arms protectively around her. A soft kiss she drops onto her forehead as she continues to gaze lovingly into her brown orbs.

Lorna moves her head closer to the taller woman's chest. Her eyes peer up into Nicky's, she lets a hand reach up to gently touch her face. "It-it-it-it d-d-d-does-doesn't hur-hur-hurt mmm-mmm-my th-th-thr-thro-throat. Gggg-giv-giv-give-gives mmm-mmm-me hhhh-he-head-headaches," she gives a strained response while caressing her girlfriend's chin with tender fingers.

"Poor baby…don't talk; I don't want you hurting yourself, kid. Just let me hold you and if anything, I'll do the talking," Nicky softly commands. She wraps her arms snugger around the shorter woman, placing a delicate kiss on the top of her head. "I love you so damn much, baby. I'll help ya through this; I promise."

* * *

Dinner time comes and with it brings Lorna a frustrating obstacle. She despises having to use the wheelchair, especially in the prison; the pitying looks she receives makes her feel shameful and disgusted with herself. She doesn't like being dependent on this device. It only adds to the weakness that emanates from her. She sighs, pushing the wheels forward to get her through the food-line; the stares continue but she tries her best to ignore them.

Nicky, who's already sat down at their table, sees Lorna in the line and quickly makes her way over to assist her. "Kid, lemme help ya," she pleads, coming up in front of her. She knows her girlfriend will do anything she can to not accept the help of other's but there's no way she can just sit back and do nothing for her.

The brunette sighs and tilts her head to where her hands sit above the wheels. "Ssss-see I-I-I-I d-d-d-do-do-don't need hhhh-hel-hel-help. I-I-I—th-th-th-they mmm-mmm-ma-mak-make th-th-th-thee-these u-u-use-useable ffff-ffff-for-for pppp-pppp-pa-par-para-paraly-paralyze-paralyzed pppp-pe-people l-l-li-li-like mmm-mmm-me."

"Sounds like you need help learning how to talk the right way, Morello," Boo's voice taunts from behind.

Nicky immediately clenches her hands into fists, turning to give a harsh glare towards Boo. " _Shut the fuck up!_  Leave Lorna the fuck alone, Boo. It's not her fault she has a speech problem, ya fuckin' idiot," she angrily growls towards the older woman before focusing back on her girlfriend.

Her big brown eyes soften tremendously as they gaze into Lorna's. "How about I hold your tray for you? You can't hold it and wheel yourself at the same time, yeah kid?" The other's slow nod and defeated look in her eyes nearly cracks her heart in half. She doesn't want to make Lorna feel useless—something she certainly is not—but she also knows the brunette needs some amount of help.

She grabs the tray for her and follows behind her back to their table. Setting the tray in the spot beside her own, she gently scoops Lorna out of the wheelchair and places her in the seat next to hers. "You're gonna really tone your arms with all that pushing, ya know kid?"

Lorna faintly smiles at her girlfriend's comment before taking a small bite of food. She uses her free hand to grab hold of Nicky's, under the table, and gives it a loving squeeze.

Nicky smiles back while pressing a soft kiss to her head. "Sweet girl," she mutters so only the Italian woman hears her.

"Thank God you're back, Morello," Tricia says as she sits down in her usual spot on the other side of the table. She gives a sympathetic smile over to the brunette. "Nicky's been a pain without you. How ya feelin'?"

The redhead rolls her eyes at her prison sister while wrapping her arms tight—almost possessively—around Lorna's shoulders.

With a deep breath, Lorna forces herself to ignore the excruciating headache and answer the question. "C-c-co-co-coul-could b-b-be b-b-be-bet-better. Gggg-gl-gl-glad ttt-ttt-to b-b-be o-o-ou-ou-out of-of th-th-th-the hhhh-hhhh-ho-hos-hospit-hospital a-a-at l-l-lea-least," she finally gets the words out and breaths out a relieving breath of air. Talking is almost more work than it's worth, she sadly thinks.

"Looks like the surgery kinda messed with your voice, huh? I'm sorry ya gotta deal with that, Morello. Is that permanent?"

Lorna gives a small shrug, "Nnnn-no-no-not ssss-su-sure…th-th-the d-d-doc-doc-doctor ssss-s-sa-says it-it-it-it c-c-co-co-coul-could ttt-ttt-ta-ta-take mmm-mmm-mon-months u-u-un-un-until-until mmm-mmm-my v-v-vo-voi-voice c-c-co-com-comes ba-ba-ba-back…if-if-if it-it-it-it e-e-e-eve-eve-even c-c-co-com-comes ba-ba-ba-back."

The blonde looks at her with wide eyes and shakes her head. "Gee, that fuckin' sucks. I hope for your sake it ain't permanent. Sounds like it hurts every time ya talk," she infers.

Nicky nods in agreement, gently pulling the brunette against her. She drops a tender kiss to her forehead and gazes firmly down into her eyes. "You need to take a break from talkin', kid. Eat your food. No one will bother you with questions; you're cut off from talking for the rest of dinner," she lovingly commands, letting a finger gently brush through her hair.

"Maybe you should bring a notebook or somethin' with you to use as your way of talkin'? At least until ya able to talk without too much pain?" Tricia suggests, looking over at the two others.

"Good idea, Trish. I'm sure ma's got some in that pile a books sittin' on her shelf. She can borrow one a hers."

A few minutes later, Alex joins them with her own tray of food—taking the empty spot next to Lorna. She smiles at her, looking sympathetically into her eyes. "Good to see you're well enough to back here. How's it feel to be tumor-free?"

Lorna opens her mouth to say something but Nicky immediately stops her. She gives her a stern look and whispers, "What did I just say about talking? You need to rest your voice, babe." The brunette shakes her head in irritation and bows her head down on the table—her way of trying to communicate her displeasure with her girlfriend's choice.

The sight causes a bout of empathy to wash over Nicky; she loathes being the person who upsets Lorna but she's only doing what's best for her—at least she hopes it is. "Lorna, come on…don't be mad. You know I'm not doing this to hurt ya, sweetie—I'm doing this because I care and I see how much discomfort you're in when ya try to talk."

Exhaling a few breaths, Lorna lifts her head and stares back at her. She gives a small nod but still has a slight frown on her face.

Nicky pulls her back into her arms, running a hand through her hair as she turns her attention over to Alex—who seems deeply confused and concerned with what's going on.

"She might be a little worse off right now. The surgery paralyzed her—if ya can't already tell by the wheelchair—and she's got some major problems with talking hence why I'm answering or her. She's not coping too well at the moment," she informs the black-haired woman.

Alex looks down momentarily before gazing back up at Lorna. She silently sighs, feeling bad that she's has such distressing side effects to work through. "I'm sorry, Lorna. That's horrible that the surgery—that's supposed to help—actually made things worse for ya. You don't deserve that."

* * *

Early the next morning, Lorna wakes to find a CO standing over her. She squints her eyes in confusion, staring up at him with arched eyebrows. "W-w-w-wh-what a-a-are-are y-y-you d-d-d-do-doing?" Her words stammer out.

"It's time for your shower, inmate. I'm here to help you with that," Officer Dixon—the same person who threatened to throw her in the SHU for her anger outbursts—informs her as he grabs the wheelchair and brings it to the side of Lorna's bed.

The brunette instinctively tries to move away from his arms but, with half her body like dead-weight to her, her attempts are unhelpful. "I-I-I d-do-do-do-don't nnn-nnn-nee-need hhhh-hhhh-hel-help," she mutters desperately.

Hearing all the ruckus quickly awakens Red in the other bed. She opens her eyes and turns her head to see what the noise is about. Immediately, she gets out of bed and walks over to them. "What's going on here? What are you doing with her? She's fucking recovering from major surgery, why can't you just leave her to rest?" Her Russian accent thickened in the small anger that's bubbling up.

The CO forcefully grabs Lorna and—a tad too harshly for Red's liking—puts her in the wheelchair. He looks over at Red and rolls his eyes. "Why can't you just mind your own damn business, Reznikov? It's my job to see that this poor handicapped woman is showered at a reasonable hour. Why don't you go to your little knitting circle and not worry what I do?"

Red shakes her head furiously. "No, no, no. You're not helping her with the shower. Especially not after you nearly threw her into that chair—give her to me, I'll take care of her. All you've done is insult her and make her feel bad—I can't allow you to be alone in the bathroom with her," she grits her teeth, trying to take control of the wheelchair before he has the chance to leave with the vulnerable brunette.

"You got work to do, inmate. It's almost time for you to get breakfast ready—you ain't got time to help this one," he smirks, pushing her hands off the handles and wheeling Lorna out of there as quickly as he can.

* * *

Nicky's just finished making her bed when she feels someone tugging on the back of her shirt. She turns around and is faced with a frantic Red. Concerned, she wraps her in a gentle hug while peering worriedly into her blue eyes. "Ay, ma, what's the matter? Ya look like ya've seen a ghost or somethin'…you okay?" She carefully questions, rubbing a soothing hand up and down her back.

"You need to go to the bathroom and keep an eye on Lorna. One of the COs took claims he's been assigned to help her get a shower…but the way he said is what's bothered me. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him. Hurry and get down there, Nicky," Red pleads, unleashing the embrace and nudging her nearer the exit.

"Jesus Christ—what the fuck is wrong with people? The poor thing's just suffered through cancer for fuck sake," the redhead grumbles with an angry shake of the head. Instantly, she finds herself jogging through the dorms and down the hallway until she finally makes it into the restroom. She forces her way past the line of people waiting to get showers, and stops when she comes to a stall that Lorna's seemingly being forced into.

Shaking her head infuriatedly, Nicky glares at the officer. "What the fuck are ya doin' with her? Cause it sure doesn't look like you're just helping her shower…why the fuck are you undressed too? Oh hell no—fuckin' give her to me," she growls, horrified at the thought of what this CO might have been about to do to her girlfriend.

Officer Dixon rolls his eyes, digging his nails roughly into Lorna's bare skin. "What—you think I'm gonna let my clothes get wet while I help your little friend wash up?"

Nicky's eyes darken, she walks closer and firmly holds out her arms. "Give her to me. I'm not playing around—I don't want you touching her. You're fucking making her feel bad!" Her voice irritatingly cries out.

"I don't have to listen to you; I'm the officer here, idiot. All I'm doing is helping your handicapped lover here take her shower, don't get your panties in a knot."

Those words hyphen Nicky's anger. She slams her fist behind her against the wall. "Don't fucking call her handicapped, you insensitive moron. You're not getting in that shower with her. Over my dead body. Do you see how terrified she is? She doesn't want your help. All you're doing is scaring the hell outta that sweet woman! She thinks you're gonna fuckin' rape her and that's all thanks to another one a your nasty ass COs. Just fucking hand her over to me and I'll get her washed up.  _How hard is that?"_

With a disgruntled groan, he places the sniffling brunette under his arm and brings her over to the infuriated redhead. He shoves her into Nicky's impatiently waiting arms and flips her the bird. "There, now shut the fuck up about it! Ya little drama queen," he yells out, before going to gather his clothes and redress himself—gaining him laughs from the other women standing in line.

Once he's gone, Nicky gently carries Lorna into the shower stall and sits on the small bench—trying to console her. She strokes a hand softly through her hair, peering down at her with warm eyes. "You're safe now, baby…I'm here. I've got you," she soothes, laying Lorna's bare body against her chest; one arm wraps possessively around her waist and the other around her head—keeping it as close to her as she can.

"Shh, you're okay. I won't let any of these officers touch you. They're a bunch assholes—how the hell can they try to hurt you, seeing how sweet and vulnerable you are? This place just gets shittier every day," she grumbles, shaking her head. With a sigh, she presses a delicate kiss onto Lorna's head and rocks her softly in her arms. "Don't shake so much, baby; you're safe, I promise. I'm here to take care of you; no one's hurting you anymore. Please calm down so I can help you shower. Come on, kid, take some deep breaths and relax."

Lorna clings tighter onto Nicky, wrapping her arms desperately around her neck. "Nnnn-Nnnn-Ni-Ni-Nick-Nicky," she sniffles, peering bewilderedly up into the other's big brown orbs.

Kissing her softly on the head, Nicky gazes softly down at her and pulls her closer. "What baby?" She caresses the palm of her hand tenderly against her girlfriend's tearful cheeks.

"I-I-I-I l-l-lo-lo-love y-y-y-yo-yo-you."

Nicky feels her heart melt. She holds Lorna tight against her, still lightly rocking her. Her hand traces affectionate circles around her back as she lovingly leans their foreheads together. "Aw, Lorna, I love you too. I love you more than anything in the world, doll. You ready to finish washing up? I'll be as gentle as you want me to be. You're safe with me, baby," she whispers softly against the other's lips.

Lorna sniffles but gives a small nod, grabbing hold of one of Nicky's hands.

"There's my strong Lorna," Nicky lightly smiles, giving one last protective embrace before she sits the petite brunette onto the bench and grabs the shampoo bottle. She gazes into her girlfriends and frowns somewhat at the shameful expression showing on her face. "You wanna shampoo your hair while I scrub the body-wash on your back and legs?"

The other's enthusiastic nod and tiny smile makes Nicky's whole body tingle with warmth. She hands her the shampoo and presses a loving kiss to her cheek while peering softly into her eyes. "You're such a sweetheart, Lorna. You'll get through this with flying colors—your precious optimism shines through the pain you suffer. I'm so glad to have you in my life; I love you so damn much, sweet doll."


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: So sorry for how long it's taken me to update this. Been busy with assignments for classes but, fortunately, the semester is almost over - only four more weeks, thankfully. And, on another note, this story is almost over as well. Only three more chapters until it's complete. Thanks again to everyone who reads this and especially to those who are nice enough to review. I appreciate all of it.
> 
> Warning: Drug use, self-blaming, fluff/comfort.

_Chapter Twenty-Two_

Nearing eight weeks past the operation has Lorna starting to feel somewhat normal again. Slowly, talking has become quite a bit easier; she only finds herself stuttering a few times per sentence. Less pitying stares are given making living in prison under such predicament much more peaceful. Being wheelchair bound has only strengthened the relationship between she and Nicky.

Even with settling into her new normal, Lorna still isn't too keen on the idea of needing help with almost every task in the morning. That's why she finds herself army crawling across the floor of her cube to her wheelchair that sits near the outside wall. With Red gone—most likely already down in the kitchen for her work shift—she has no other choice but to do it herself. There's no way she'll just sit around and wait. She needs to be somewhat independent, she internalizes.

A pair of shoes – inches from her face – causes Lorna's head to slightly lift to peer into the eyes of their owner. She's met with Nicky's overpowering compassionate ones.

"What're ya doin', doll?" The redhead softly inquiries, walking over to her. She crouches down beside her, staring worryingly into her brown orbs. "Do ya need help?"

Lorna immediately shakes her head, slightly pushing the other's hand away. She knows her girlfriend is only trying to assist her, but she can't stand being so dependent anymore—she needs to do this for herself. Her hands push against the ground to force her body to move. Finally, after a brutal five minutes, she makes it to the wheelchair and tries to lift herself up.

Nicky sighs, watching her girlfriend's struggle pulls heavily on her heart strings. She understands the woman wants to be able to do things for herself, but she also isn't too fond of Lorna's pushing herself too hard. So, when she sees her nearly fall while trying to hoist herself into the chair, she immediately scoops her up and places her in it.

"You can't push yourself to do things like that…you'll end up gettin' hurt, kid," she says once Lorna's settled in the wheelchair. The defeated—almost shameful—expression on her face brings an overwhelming wave of empathy over Nicky. A sigh escapes her. She kneels in front of her, letting her hands lovingly cup around her porcelain cheeks. "Don't be ashamed, baby; it's okay to accept help. I love you…helping you is my job."

The brunette exhales a small breath of air. She slightly shakes her head, gazing sadly into the other's eyes. "No-no, it's not y-your j-jo-job, Nicky. I-I-I need to—need to do th-th-thi-things for-for myself."

Nicky presses a soothing kiss to her forehead, rubbing the tips of her fingers lovingly along her cheeks. "Baby, you need to accept that you need help. I know ya don't like it but doing stuff like this could hurt ya…You need to be careful, Lorna," her voice softly informs the other; she peers firmly up into her eyes.

Slightly pouting, Lorna shakes her head and slowly starts wheeling herself out of the dorms.

Quickly on her tail, the redhead steps in front of her to stop her from escaping. She holds her hands sternly on her girlfriend's shoulders. "Where are ya trying to go, kid? Don't be mad. I'm only telling you things to keep ya safe. I'm not saying this shit to be mean…come on, ya know I would never wanna make ya feel bad," she gently pleads, letting her finger tips brush delicately against her skin.

"I ain't-ain't m-ma-ma-mad." Lorna stares down at her useless legs and frowns, "W-well-well not at-at you."

Exhaling deeply, a wave of sorrow floods through the taller woman's body. It makes her heart sink to see how the tumor removal's aftermath has brought so much distress to her girlfriend. "I'm sorry, kid; I know this is really hard for you and believe me, I absolutely hate that you have to deal with this. But it's something ya gotta learn to accept. Please, Lorna, I'm not leaving you…I'm here to help ya with this,  _let me_."

The brunette groans. Her eyes gaze wearily up into Nicky's. She can sense the sincerity that seeps through them and sighs. "Fi-fine… Wi-will y-ya hel-help me walk outside? I-I m-mean wheel…obviously the-these leg-legs are fuck-fucking worthless!"

Nicky softly hushes her by placing a light kiss to her lips. She lets her hand caress delicately along her face before she walks behind her and starts pushing the wheelchair through the hall to the door that leads to the prison's outdoor recreational area. "Calm down, Lorna. Getting angry isn't gonna stop you from being paralyzed. Yes, it sucks to not be able to walk—I'm not saying it doesn't—but ya gotta look at the positives, kid," she says, pushing her along the cemented track.

"The-the pos-posit-positives?! A-an-and wha-what the fu-fuck woul-would those be?"

"You're alive and don't have cancer. You could have fucking died, kid. I rather have ya here in a wheelchair than not have you at all," the redhead sternly assures, brushing her hands soothingly through her girlfriend's brown hair.

Lorna shakes her head in irritation. "I-I wish-wish it woul-woulda kill-killed me," she whispers to herself, glaring down at her legs that sit motionless on the leg rests.

Those words—that her girlfriend thinks went unnoticed—instantly stop Nicky in her tracks. She walks in front of Lorna, firmly pulling her out of the chair and into her arms. Her eyes gaze darkly into the other's. "What the fuck? Why would ya wish that kinda shit?! Lorna, come on, it's not that bad! Please stop with this negativity—this isn't like you. Why are ya feelin' so down today? What's wrong doll—ya need a hug?"

The brunette defiantly shakes her head pushing herself backwards a small amount. She bites the inside of her mouth, trying not to look at her girlfriend.

Nicky pulls her back into her arms and brushes a soft kiss over her cheek. "You can't stand up on your own, kid…don't even try that, you'll hurt yourself," she sternly informs her, sitting down against the barbed fence behind them.

Her arms envelop tightly around Lorna, keeping her closely nestled against her own body. She rubs a hand affectionately across her forehead as she gazes warmly into her brown orbs, "Let's have a good day. No more self-hating or self-bashing. You are a sweet and precious woman. It hurts to see you hurt, my sweet doll. I would love for you to be able to walk again but that's not possible and we have to go on with our lives. You need to be taken care of whether ya like that or not. You have to accept that, sweetie; there's no way around it. I love you so much; I want to take care of you. So, ya better not be refusing my help thinkin' otherwise."

* * *

Later on in the day, Nicky finds herself hiding out in a bathroom stall with a familiar bag of powder dangling in her hand. She lets out a small breath of air. It's tempting, she knows, but she can't bring herself to open it. She shouldn't be doing this; it should have been flushed down the toilet right after Luschek gave it to her. But the stress and pain of watching her girlfriend suffer is enough to make her want it. Knowing there's nothing she can do to bring Lorna's walking back crushes her soul. She can't take seeing how much that hurts the woman.

"Nicky? Is that, is that heroin?" Tricia's shocked voice inquiries as she walks towards her.

Sighing, Nicky shoots the younger inmate an irritated glare. "Could ya just go away and pretend ya don't see me? I'm busy," she throws out her question, impatiently tapping her finger against the ground.

The blonde shrugs her shoulders and tilts her head near the opening of the stall. "Hey, you're the idiot who left this open. It's your fault I'm standing here. Why should I leave ya? So ya can get high on the same shit that got your ass in here? Red'll be real proud a ya, Nicky," she shakes her head in disappointment, her blue eyes gazing sadly down into Nicky's.

"Leave me the fuck alone, Trish. Seriously," the older woman grunts, walking over to the lock the stall. When she hears footsteps slowly fading, she lets out a sigh and retreats back to her spot on the toilet. She very slowly unseals the plastic bag, letting her fingers take a quick feel inside of it. The grittiness of the powder is a familiar sensation; one that brings a small comfort to her.

She lets her finger move around in the bag, closing her eyes to hyphen the calming effect it washes her with. Regret is instantly sent to the back of her mind. Slowly pulling her finger out, she use one hand to hold to the bag and the other to grab her identification card from its place on her shirt. Carefully, she sticks the corner of the card into the bag—making sure to get a decent amount of the heroin onto it. Her eyes gaze down at the drug with a lustful gleam shining through.

A very faint smile forms. She takes a long piece of toilet paper off the roll and folds it as best she can into a thin tube. Satisfied with her creation, she dips the straw-formed piece of paper into the powder and uses the other end of it to put in one of her nostrils. The first snort she takes makes her entire body tingle in euphoria. She exhales a pleasant breath of air and continues to snort the rest of her beloved drug. All worries and regrets shrink away.

* * *

Lorna sits at a table in the rec-room, her eyes glued to the television, when she sees Nicky enter the room. She feels a guilty pang in her chest and starts wheeling herself over to the redhead. As she gets closer to her, she notices an odd look on the taller woman's face and concern starts to take over. "Nick-Nicky?" Her voice tenderly inquiries; brown orbs peering worriedly up at her.

Hearing her name, Nicky focuses her eyes down on the brunette. She smiles, letting her hand give a gentle pat to her head. "Oh, hey kid," she says, her voice much slower than usual.

"Eve-every-everything o-o-o-okay? Ya lo-look a bit odd-odd," Lorna cautiously notes, continuing to stare up at her girlfriend with a deep concern. She reaches her hands up to cup around Nicky's face and brings it down to her own, intently searching for some sort of clue.

The redhead closes her eyes and continues to excessively smile. She lets out a pleasant sigh before gazing back at Lorna. "Everything's great. I've just been—"

"No, no, no," Tricia interrupts from her seat on the other side of the room. She quickly comes over to them and gives a serious look to the brunette. "She took heroin…I saw her in the bathroom with a small bag of it—she's acting all weird cause she's probably high as a fuckin' kite."

Nicky's eyes widen in a rage. She flips the blonde off and quickly walks behind her girlfriend's wheelchair, somewhat aggressively pushing her out of the room and down to their treasured spot in the chapel. Upon entering it, she wheels Lorna down near the stage and plops herself on the end chair next to her.

"Wha-what—why-why woul-would ya do th-that? How di-did ya even g-g-get drugs?"

Bowing her head slightly, Nicky lets out a shaky breath. "Luschek gave it to me before ya came back from the hospital…tells me he thinks it'll stop me from being so mopey. Which is very true, that's why I took it for so many years—why five years of my life are thrown away. I shoulda thrown the damn thing out, I know but I didn't."

Lorna's eyes fill with compassion. She wheels herself so that she is directly sitting in front of the other. Her hand lovingly reaches in front of her to touch softly against Nicky's cheek. "Why did-didn't ya? Why did-did ya save it-it-it an-and de-decide to use it-it now?" There's a noticeable pain lurking in her girlfriend's orbs, making her chest ache for her.

"I'm weak, kid…when it comes to my favorite drug. And I just—it hurts so much to see you suffering. I don't like that you're stuck like this and I can't do anything to make it better! Your pain is my pain, kid. I love you so much and I just want you to be happy but this fucking tumor ruined you…It took away so much from you and there's not a damn thing I can do to change that. So, I'm a fucking idiot and turn to heroin for help. Guess ya ain't the only one who's messed up, yeah?  _Shit, fuck!_  I didn't mean for it come out like that, baby…"

The brunette shakes her head and carefully scoops a hysterical Nicky onto her lap. She brushes a hand lightly through her hair while peering softly down at her. "Oh, Nick-Nicky," her voice tenderly whispers. She lets her lips stroke affectionately along her girlfriend's forehead as a sad sigh escapes her. "I-I'm real so-sorry. I do-do-don't wan-want ya to-to hurt for mmm-me, hhh-hon."

Her fingers delicately stroke against Nicky's soft cheeks. She gazes warmly into her eyes, seeing right through to the pain that she tries to keep hidden.

"No," Nicky fiercely shakes her head, staring heavily at her girlfriend. "Don't fuckin' apologize, Lorna. It's not your fault you have to be in a wheelchair or that I chose to use heroin just because I can't handle the pain I feel for your suffering."

Lorna sighs, running her hands slowly through the other's curly hair. "Well, it-it-it ain't your f-f-fall-fault either…I-I do-don't want ya to b-b-be ta-ta-takin' drugs be-be-be-because ya blame your-yourself for-for any a this," her voice warmly whispers against her girlfriend's ear as she pulls her closer into her arms.

The redhead exhales a slow breath; her eyes pierce worriedly up into Lorna's. She tenderly caresses her cheek with the tip of her knuckles, "Is it safe for ya to be holding me on your lap? I don't wanna hurt ya or nothin', doll."

"Not like I-I ca-ca-can feel an-anything down th-th-there," Lorna faintly laughs, only tightening her arms around the other. She presses a loving kiss onto her temple and peers softly at her. "I-I love y-ya, hhh-hon. I-I'd hold ya eve-eve-even if-if-if it-it di-di-did hurt!"

"Damn you, kid—you're always being so fuckin' sweet. I love ya too…so much."

Lorna holds Nicky's head against her chest, nuzzling the top of it lightly with her chin. She keeps silent for a few moments, relishing in the feeling of her girlfriend's body pressed up against hers. A small sigh escapes. Her eyes fill with a slight sternness as they gaze down into the other's. "Did ya g-g-get rid of-of the re-re-rest of wha-whatever was l-l-left of it? Ya can-can't ta-take anymore of-of it-it-it. It's ba-ba-ba-bad, love."

Solemnly shaking her head, the older woman lifts her head to glance at Lorna. She cups her hands affectionately around her face and pecks a small kiss over her lips. "I threw it back in my shirt pocket, but you're right. I needa get rid of it and not use it anymore. I'm sorry, kid—I shouldn't have kept it to begin with. But—oh God—just having that in my hands, after so long, it called for me," she whispers, her breath warm against her girlfriend's face.

"Ya nnn-need to th-th-throw it away no-now," the brunette firmly states, stroking her fingers lightly along Nicky's arm. She starts to push the wheels forward but with the extra weight added from holding her girlfriend, she realizes that might not work well. Sighing, she stares down at the other with a sheepish smile, "I th-think ya mi-mi-might needa get up an-an-and f-f-f-follow me…Other-otherwise we woul-woul-wouldn't g-g-get any-anywhere."

Nicky chuckles, patting Lorna's head lovingly and hoists herself up. She walks behind the chair, grabbing onto the handles and wheeling her out of the chapel. "I guess we'll go flush the evil drug down the toilet—that's the safest way to get rid of it without any of the COs finding out about it. Thanks, kid; ya really are the sweetest person I've ever met," she smiles, dropping a soft kiss down to the top of her head.

* * *

That evening, Tricia enters her cube to see her bunk-mate and Lorna sitting together on the opposite bed. She gives a hard stare towards them, her eyes piercing with a small amount of anger towards Nicky. "I hope ya told Red about what ya did, Nicky. She's not gonna be happy if ya keep something like this from her. And ya better hope ya got rid of whatever's left…never know when a CO might check ya," she retorts, a small edge to her tone.

Lorna hushes her girlfriend—who's overcome with a strong wave of exhaustion and nausea—before turning her head to peer at the younger woman. "She-she will ta-ta-talk to Red la-la-later. Right no-now she is-is-is no-not f-f-f-feeling good. P-p-p-please do-do-don't be mad at-at her, Tricia. She-she knows she ma-ma-made a bad de-de-de-decision. An-and I-I-I wa-wa-watched her th-throw it-it-it down the to-toi-toilet."

"Morello, ya don't understand. Nicky's a fuckin' addict; she needs help because apparently she can't handle pain without fuckin' snortin' up some damn heroin."

"Stop. She-she wo-won't take no more. She prom-promised me. No more. It-it's all gone, an-any-anyway. I-I can-can help her…it's the-the least I ca-can do af-after every-everything she's do-done for me-me," the brunette firmly informs, her arms wrapping tighter around Nicky's neck.

Tricia lets out a sigh and gives a sad stare to Lorna. "I know ya love her and wanna help her but I mean ya have a hard enough time lookin' after yourself, Morello…I'm not trying to sound mean but how can ya help Nicky when ya need help yourself?"

Those words build an anger in the redhead. She opens her eyes, tightening her arms around Lorna's frail waist, and shoots a harsh glare over to her prison sister. "Don't fuckin' say shit like that to her, Trish! Makin' it sound like it's my sweet Lorna's fault she can't take care of herself?! Are ya fuckin' kidding me? She's the sweetest, purest, fuckin' angel to ever be locked up in this shithole. Ya have no right to say that kinda bullshit!"

Lorna strokes a hand soothingly through the older woman's hair. "It-it's fine, Ni-Nicky. She-she's kinda g-go-got a good p-p-point. But th-th-that does-doesn't mean I-I c-c-can't try to hel-help," she peers softly up into her girlfriend's big brown orbs.

Shaking her head in slight frustration, the blonde inmate plops down on her own bed while giving a heated glance to the pair of them. "Red needs to know what ya did, Nicky. Either you tell her or I will. She's the only one who can really help ya with that."

"Ya ain't sayin' a damn thing to her. I'll talk to her when I feel like it," is Nicky's irritated response.

Tricia rubs her temples and sighs. "Whatever, I'm just tryna help ya out. But I can see that's not wanted. You're on ya own then," she coldly says before getting up and walking out of their cube.

The brunette sighs, turning back to focus on her lover. Her eyes pour heavily into the other's. She can easily see the effects of the drug showing through with how red and dilated they appear to be. "I th-think it-it woul-would be a go-good idea to-to-to t-tell Red. After ya fe-fe-feel better, cour-course."

Nicky lets out a groan. "Yeah, she'll be fuckin' pissed. I better just wait til this shit wears off. Don't need ma to see me like this. She's already had that pleasure too many fucking times," her voice roughly speaks.

"She lov-loves ya tho-though, hhh-hon. She wo-wo-won't be-be mad for-for-forever."

A sigh escapes. Even when Nicky wants nothing but to sulk in her anger, Lorna knows just what to say to make the feeling disintegrate. She gently pulls her girlfriend's head down against her chest and holds it there with a tender hand. "You're right, doll. I'll talk to her about it later. Right now, I'm just so exhausted," she tiredly says, her eyes slowly drooping shut.

Lorna wraps her arms around the nearly sleeping woman beneath her. She strokes her fingers delicately along her girlfriend's face while giving a soft kiss to her forehead. "Sleep w-w-well; I-I love y-ya, hhh-honey."

* * *

Red sits in her office, an hour before she's to get dinner ready, looking over the inventory and marking off supplies she needs for the next delivery. She takes a sip of her tea, a smile on her face as she enjoys the solitude her office provides her with—something that's difficult to get in prison, she knows. The solitude is short-lived when she hears footsteps entering the room.

She lifts her head to meet eyes with her daughter. Only by looking at her, she can easily tell something's off. "Come sit," her voice sternly commands. Once the redhead is seated across from her, she reaches over and grabs a hold of her hands. "Tell me why you look so shameful. What have you done, my child?"

Nicky sighs sadly, peering guiltily down at her hands. It angers her to know that one bad decision will disappoint her mother highly. She should have thrown it away before it got to this point, she knows. But, unfortunately, she chose not to do that. She chose for this to happen and now she must face the consequences.

"Ya ain't gonna be happy," she slowly starts off, tracing her finger around the medal desk. "Back when Lorna was in the hospital, after the surgery, Luschek kinda gave me a packet of heroin on my way outta work…and I kept it inside my shirt pocket. I didn't plan to take it—really, I didn't. But today, I—I just let my emotions get to me and found myself sitting in a bathroom stall snorting it through a fuckin' rolled piece of toilet paper. I'm so sorry, ma—I know I'm a disappointment for doing that! And stupid and a fuckin' idiot. I'm weak."

Hearing this causes Red's eyes to widen in shock. She tightens her hold on her daughter's hands, staring at her with a faint sorrow seeping through her blue orbs. "That fucking piece of shit! How does he still work here? He's always bringing drugs in here and giving them to all you vulnerable girls," she grits her teeth in a rage.

A hard breath of air rushes out of her. She shakes her head, trying to understand why Nicky would go back to that monstrous drug. "What were you so emotional about that it made you fucking put poison into your body? Why would you not come to me, Nicky? I'm your ma for heaven's sake; I'm here to help you! Jesus Christ, you're just lucky you weren't caught by a CO—could of ended right back in the SHU or even worse."

Angry tears come to pour out of Nicky's eyes. She shrugs, pulling her arms away to fold over her chest. "I can't fuckin' take seeing Lorna deal with all this hurt, ma. She's paralyzed and it's so hard for her to accept that—and it hurts me to see her hurting over that! I wanna take it all away…I wanna make her feel whole again but I fucking can't! There ain't shit I can do to make her feel normal," her voice cracks with a heap of powerful sobs that shake through her body.

"Oh Nicky… my sweet, loving Nicky," Red soothes, her features immediately softening. She gets up and walks over to where Nicky sits, pulling her up into a comforting embrace. Her lips press tenderly against the shorter woman's forehead; her hands cup delicately around her face. "Lorna will eventually learn to accept the way she is now. And she has you to help her. I know it's hard for you, sweetheart, but you love her and need to be patient with her. You can't be running to fucking drugs just because she's in denial that she'll walk someday. That's not gonna help you or her."

She lets out a sad sigh, squeezing Nicky even closer against her body. "You are making her feel normal, Nicky. I see the way you treat her and the way she is around you. She won't be the way she was before but that doesn't mean she'll never be whole again. The both of you need some patience. It's only been a couple months since the surgery—brain surgery. It takes much more time than that to heal. She needs to realize that. And that's mainly this prison's fault for not allowing her any sort of physical therapy to help her. If she was out in society, she surely would have been put through some vigorous therapy by now. And, unfortunately, that just means Lorna's going to have a longer time before she can fully adjust to this new lifestyle of hers. But, I know, with you, that sweet girl will get through this. You're a vital part of her healing, my Nicky. Which means you can't be wasting time snorting some powdery-poison. Instead, when you're feeling that emotional, talk through it with your girlfriend—that's what she's there for. Just like you always are for her."

* * *

After dinner is over, Nicky takes control of her girlfriend's wheelchair and slowly pushes her out of the cafeteria in the direction of the library. There's only so many times they can take sitting in the rec-room with all the arguing over the remote. She thinks the change of scenery will be nice, anyway. She slowly pushes her along until they're standing in front of the door; she lets go of the handles and opens it, watching as Lorna wheels herself in.

They quickly find an empty table to sit at; Nicky gently moves a chair for Lorna so that she can scoot her wheelchair up to it. She sits down beside her, cupping her hand softly around one of hers. Her eyes gaze warmly across into the other's, a faint smile spreading onto her face. "You're such a strong person, kid. Ya know that, yeah?"

Lorna shakes her head but feels a smile creep up on her own face. She glances back at the woman she loves with rosy cheeks. "Ain't as-as-as st-st-strong as you, Nicky."

"Are ya fuckin' kidding me?" The redhead scrunches her face up, staring at her as if she has two heads. " _Baby_ , you're much stronger than me. You've been through so much—more like too much—hell…so much pain, and yet, ya still find things to be happy about. You still find a reason to smile every day, even if it's only once. Very minimal people would find reason to smile after going through the shit you have, sweet doll. You're a  _damn_  strong person and should see that."

"Yeah b-b-but if-if-if I was st-st-stronger than ya, I-I prob-probably woul-wouldn'ta g-g-got into half th-th-those sit-situations to begin wi-with," the petite Italian gently points out.

Nicky's eyes darken at those words. She silently face-palms herself. Not this shit again, she thinks. Immediately, her arms wrap tightly around the brunette's petite body, carefully pulling her out of the wheelchair and onto her lap. "Kid, don't. Please don't be trying to fuckin' blame yourself for any goddamn evil thing you've been put through! Don't you dare. Being strong has absolutely nothing to do with preventing what that devil did to you, baby, and don't you dare even believe that shit. He forced you to give in to his shit; he raped you…you were scared too death, what the hell could ya have done to stop it? It's not your fuckin' fault, Lorna. And it  _doesn't_  mean your weak because you were raped. You're stronger for going through that, even though ya sure as hell didn't deserve to; I wish I woulda known earlier what that shithole was doing…Maybe then ya wouldn'ta got cancer and wouldn't be stuck in a damn wheelchair for the resta your life!"

An unexpected laugh escapes Lorna. She wraps her arms snug around the taller woman's neck, shaking her head as she peers tenderly into her orbs. "We-we bo-both l-like to blame our-ourselves for th-things we can-can't control, I g-guess. I coul-couldn't s-s-stop the r-rape just like you can-can't know whe-whether or not I-I'd be-be pla-plagued with can-cancer," she exhales deeply, nuzzling her head softly against Nicky's racing heart.

Her arms wrap tighter around her at the sensation, she stares up at her in a rush of concern. "Nick-Nicky, calm do-down. You-you're make-making your h-hear-heart beat too, too hard. Wha-what's making y-you do-do this, hhh-hon? Are-are ya that upset? Pl-pl-please breathe norm-normally," her voice desperately says as she reaches one hand behind her to pat softly around her back.

"I'm okay, baby. Don't worry; it's just a side effect from the heroin. It's normal. Please don't worry," Nicky softly murmurs against the brunette's ear, softly holding her head against her chest to plead her case.

Lorna sighs, shaking her head. She presses a loving kiss to her neck, peering up at her with concern. "It-it's not norm-normal, love. Th-that's why ya can-can't be ta-ta-takin' that nasty stuff. It ain't g-go-good for ya. I-I don't w-wan-want ya to end up d-dam-damaging your-your body any-anymore than ya all-all-already have. I-I love you," she tenderly informs her, letting the tips of her fingers to brush soothingly along the outline of her girlfriend's cheek.

"No more, I promise. I don't have anymore to use anyway. Don't worry for me, kid, please. I promise you this is normal."

The brunette gives her an unsure stare, holding her hands securely on either side of Nicky's face. "How can I-I be su-sure ya won't get up-upset and fi-find your-yourself in-in the sa-same sit-situation?"

Nicky rubs a thumb softly across the Italian's forehead. She pulls her closer into her arms. "Because I love you, sweetie. I need to take care of my sweet doll. You need me…I could never leave ya, kid. And if I did anymore of that shit, I know it would make me do exactly that. Ya gotta trust me, Lorna. I promise this will not ever happen again. I had a good talk with ma earlier and, of course, she always knows just what to say. I gotta talk about my problems just like I make you do. We'll take care of each other, yeah?"

"I c-ca-can live wit-with that," Lorna smiles, resting her forehead gently against Nicky's. She lets their lips softly smash together in a compassionate kiss. "My mir-miracle."

* * *

Early the next morning, Lorna's awoken by the feeling of another person's breath lingering over her face. Her eyes rapidly open. She lets out a relieving sigh when she sees that it's only Nicky. "Oh, th-thank God," she chuckles, pushing herself into a sitting position and instinctively leaning into the taller woman's inviting arms.

With a slightly worried look, Nicky envelops her arms protectively around the other's waist—letting her rest comfortably in her lap. "Who'd ya think it was, kid?" She mentally slaps herself for asking such question. Of course, she should have known what Lorna was thinking. Her lips stroke lovingly atop Lorna's head.

"No-not yo-you," she faintly jokes, but on the inside is quite terrified at the thought of who could have been breathing on her. Her shoulders visibly shutter at the thought.

Nicky strokes her back tenderly and pulls her closer against her body, making sure she knows just how safe she is with her. "No one's coming near ya unless it's me or ma. You're safe, doll. I mean it. You will never ever have to go through anything evil again, I won't allow it," she sternly confirms, softly rocking her for a few silent moments.

"Let's go get ya showered and then we'll go for a brisk stroll outside. It's a beautiful day and I know how much ya love being outside, kid," she pecks her forehead warmly before scooping her up and bringing her over to be placed in her wheelchair.

* * *

After a refreshing shower, Lorna finds herself sitting out on the grass beside her beloved girlfriend. She smiles. The sun shines brightly up in the sky, birds sing all around, and the woman she loves is with her. This couldn't be a more perfect morning, she thinks. "It-it real-really is a beau-beautiful day, hhh-hon. An-and you ma-make it even m-more beautiful," she cheerfully states, scooting herself closer to Nicky's warm body.

Shaking her head with a smile of her own, Nicky cups the Italian's head tenderly in her hands and brings it closer to her own for a fervent kiss on the lips. She brushes a hand affectionately through her dark hair, "Always being so sweet, aren't ya? Look at that precious smile on your face, kid. It's nice to see ya feelin' good."

"Well, h-how ca-can I-I not sm-smile wh-when I'm spend-spend-spending a love-lovely morning out-outside with the wo-wo-woman I love?" Lorna's eyes nearly twinkle as they peer so innocently up at the redhead. She traces a finger lightly across her forehead and beams a glowing smile at her.

Nicky chuckles, pulling her closer. "How can someone be this fuckin' precious? You're too much, doll. If we weren't outside surrounded by asshole COs, I'd do some naughty things to ya right now…but I'll refrain so we don't get yelled at."

"O-oh yeah?" Lorna nearly squeaks.

The redhead places her lips warmly over top of Lorna's, guiding them in a tender kiss. She nods her head with a soft smile. "I sure would, kid. I'd make ya feel real good. But that'll have to wait. I wanna enjoy this beautiful morning with ya," her voice hotly breathes atop the younger woman's lips, leaving her with tingly sensations.

Lorna smiles, but deep in her mind wonders if she'll even feel anything down there. She hates to think that she may never get to experience the pleasure of sex again or that she'd disappoint Nicky without an euphoric orgasm.

"Hey, what're ya thinkin' about? You okay, baby?" Nicky immediately becomes concerned after the long silence; she tightens her hold on the petite woman, resting their foreheads softly together.

Shaking her head, Lorna strokes her lips delicately over top of the other's and beams a glowing smile. "Just a-about how-how much I-I-I love yo-you an-and h-how lucky I am t-to-to hav-have ya."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Implied/mentioned child abuse and threatening verbal abuse.  
> (Sorry)

_Chapter Twenty-Three_

Six months before Nicky's sentence is up, Mr. Caputo informs her that she'll be released in the next few days as a thankful gesture for paying the hefty medical bills that their board couldn't afford. Hearing such news doesn't sit very well with her, though. Getting out means leaving her family and, most importantly, the woman her heart beats for. The woman who needs her. How on Earth is she going to tell her about this? She can't imagine what this will do to her. Who's going to take care of Lorna when she's out? Who will make sure that none of the officer's do anything to hurt her?

She exhales a frustrated breath. As much as she longs to get out of prison, she also knows how vulnerable Lorna is without her and can't bare the thought of leaving her. That's the reason she finds herself sitting in the warden's office, about to beg to say incarcerated. "Mr. Caputo?" Her voice questions while her eyes focus at the computer he's vigorously typing on.

"What do ya want, Nichols?" He looks up from his work, a disgruntled look on his face.

Tracing her finger along the palm of her hand, Nicky sighs. "This is gonna sound weird but, uh, is there anyway I could not be released early?"

The question certainly does strike the warden as strange. Never in all of his career has any inmate asked to be kept in here longer than they were told to be. He holds his hand over the corner of his forehead and stares at her with intensity. "For what reason would you even want to stay in prison? The answer is no, of course. We don't grant longer stays just because ya have a girlfriend in here. The decision has already been made; there's no going back," he answers, shaking his head.

"But Lorna's dependent on me…come on, that woman's been through so much in here—ya can't take me away from her. Better yet, why isn't she the one with early release? That's the least you could do for her after what Mendez—your own officer—did to her, don't ya think?"

Slicking his hair back in, Mr. Caputo lets out a sigh. "Look, I understand your concern for her. But I am not able to make those decisions. She has to stay here for another six months before she can be considered for the possibility of early release. The most I can do to ease your worry is make sure an officer is able to assist her. I'm sorry. The system is fucked up, what else can I say?"

Nicky roughly shakes her head. There's no way she can allow Lorna to be cared for by one of the COs, not when she won't even be here to make sure they don't do anything to harm her. "No, absolutely not. I don't trust any of them with her! That one—Dixon, I think—he fuckin' was about to get in the shower with her when he tried to "help" her; more like he was gonna fuckin' take advantage of her!"

"I'll have a female officer assist her then. There's not much for me to work with, Nichols. You're gonna have to just trust that my word."

* * *

Nicky solemnly walks through the dorms to Lorna's cube. She feels her heart flutter a bit when she sees the brunette resting so peacefully in her bunk. Her footsteps are quiet as she carefully makes her way over, trying to silently get in the bed beside her. She gently envelops the petite brunette in her arms and gives a soft kiss to the top of her head.

The feeling of arms around her instantly awakens Lorna in a panic. Her heart races in her chest; she tries to pull away from the person, still not aware that it's her girlfriend. "Don't touch-touch me!" She shakily mumbles.

"Lorna, baby, it's just me," the redhead murmurs tenderly into her ear, softly cupping Lorna's head in her hands and gazing warmly into her frightened eyes. "You're okay, doll. I would never hurt you. Calm down."

Lorna stares up at Nicky and immediately feels a bout of regret. A relieving sigh escapes her. She wraps her arms lovingly around the taller woman's neck, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorr-sorry, Nicky. I guess sometimes I s-s-still get a bit j-j-jumpy when I don't know who-who's touching me," she assumes.

Kissing her sweetly on the forehead, Nicky smiles affectionately at her. The tips her fingers brush lightly along the Italian's porcelain cheeks. "Don't be sorry, my sweet doll. It's completely understandable. You're still healing after all the abuse. It'll take a while before ya stop worrying all the time, especially when you're still in the same place it happened. You have every right to react that way," her voice stern as she pulls her even closer.

"I love you," the shorter woman lovingly hums, nuzzling closer against her girlfriend's warm body. She twirls her fingers delicately around Nicky's thick curls.

Her heart bursts with warmth at those three beautiful words. Nicky rubs the palm of her hand softly against her girlfriend's forehead while pecking their lips fiercely together. "Aw, kid; I love ya too. You're being extra precious today—ya tryin' to make it hard for me to tell ya my important news, yeah?" She questions with a light chuckle; yet, deep down, Lorna's actions are making it quite a chore to tell her that she's going to have to leave her very soon.

Lorna's face perks up. She plasters a warm smile on her face, "What im-import-important news? Is it good?"

"I mean it could be worse…I guess," Nicky mutters with a sigh. She tightens her arms around Lorna, placing a soothing kiss on the top of her head. "Caputo informed me that I'll be gettin' outta here in a few days. Something I sure as fuck wasn't expecting—I even begged him to let me stay so I could keep takin' care a my beautiful baby. But course' that's not allowed. I don't wanna leave ya here, kid."

The brunette holds her arms snugger around Nicky's neck and stares warmly up at her. "Honey, that's great news for ya. You de-de-deserve to be outta this place, Nicky. After all the-the s-s-sweet things ya-ya-ya've done," she assures her, drawing soft circles around her cheeks.

"Yeah, but I don't want ya to be stuck here without me…How are ya gonna handle being in here alone, doll? I mean I know Red'll be here to help ya and ya got the resta the family but…I know how ya are, baby. I don't want you to let your emotions to eat at ya."

Sighing, Lorna burrows her head lovingly against her girlfriend's chest. Of course, the fact that she'll be left here without her soulmate for the next year—or less, she inwardly prays—frightens her but she also knows it's a step in the right direction for Nicky. She has to be happy for her; she doesn't deserve to waste away in here. So, she forces a smile to plaster on her face as she runs her hand through the other's thick hair. "Nicky, ya don't needa worry bout-bout me. I-I'll be okay. I mean I'll miss ya a lot and-and wi-wish ya were with me but I'm real happy for ya to-to be get-getting outta here," she informs her.

Nicky shakes her head with a small smile of her own, stroking her lips lovingly on Lorna's temple. She rests their foreheads together and cups her hands delicately around her face, "You're absolutely the sweetest angel in the world, kid." Her eyes peer affectionately into the brunette's; she gives a quick peck to her lips. "I want you to know that you can call me as much as ya want, doll. I'll do my best to take care of ya even when we're apart, I promise. And I'll come visit ya every weekend. But I need you to promise me you'll let ma help ya when ya need it, yeah?"

With a small nod, Lorna cuddles closer in her lover's warm embrace. "I'll prob-probably call ya so much you'll get annoyed with me," she lightly jokes causing the other woman to give her a compassionate stare.

"Lorna, you'll never be able to annoy me. I love you so fuckin' much, kid. I  _want_  ya to call me however much ya want…especially if ya ever feel lonely, you call me immediately if that happens," Nicky nearly pleads, brushing her hands lovingly through her hair.

The brunette gives another nod in response. She sighs though, her mind running a mile minute with worrying thoughts. Her eyes shoot up to peer heavily into Nicky's big orbs. "Wha-what if-if-if ya find someone else, Nicky? I-I-I mean I-I-I'm still gonna be in here for another year and-and you'll prob-prob-prob—"

"Whoa, whoa…Lorna, calm down," Nicky softly starts, hushing her by soothingly holding her head against her chest as her hand rubs soft circles around the back of it. "That is not gonna happen. Hell no. You're my baby, Lorna; no one will ever be loved by me as much as you are. You're everything to me, doll; I would never do that to you. Please don't think that, sweetie. I fuckin' love you so much."

Lorna grips tightly onto her, letting the tears—that she didn't even realize she had—come pouring out of her. "But the-the-there's so man-man-many other woman out-out th-th-th-there that aren't handi-handi-handicapped like me…wha-wha-what if ya meet someone better? I-I-I don-don-don't want y-y-you to be dep-dep-deprived of—"

Nicky shakes her head fiercely pulling her back down in her arms and kissing her delicately on the forehead. "Don't fuckin' call yourself that, kid. Don't let the cruel words of these asshole officers define you. You  _are not_  handicapped; you're a strong and angelic woman. No one is better for me than you are, baby.  _You_  are the woman I love. Nothing—and nobody—will ever change that. Stop thinking like this. You can't do this to yourself; you're gonna stress yourself out for no reason. You don't need that, kid. Let's calm down and rest; you're getting way too worked up about this. You need to lay with me and sleep away this outrageous amount of stress and fear ya have," her voice softens into a warm whisper right against Lorna's ear. She places small kisses all over her head, keeping at it until she's finally lulled into a tranquil slumber.

* * *

"Ma, _ma_ ," Nicky's voice calls out initiating Red to look away from the pot she's stirring and stare intently at her. She sighs, not sure how the Russian will take the news. It's not like they'll never see each other again but she also knows Red still has a couple more years to serve. "Uh, Caputo talked to me about some interesting news…He says that, uh, they're giving me early release."

Red immediately stops what she's doing to walk over to her daughter and embrace her tightly. "Oh, Nicky, that's great news! When are you getting released? Do you have anywhere to live when you get out? You know you're always welcome to stay at my house; my boys won't mind," she questions, her eyes peering down at the redhead.

"How are ya okay with hearing this, ma? I'm fuckin' leaving in two days and won't see you for two years! How can ya be so calm about this?"

"Nicky, stop. What do you want me to do? Say that I'm not happy for my daughter to finally be getting out of prison? This is a good thing, my child. I want you to get out. You can go on with your life and hopefully stay the hell out of trouble. What—you don't plan on coming to visit me once in a while? Or answering my calls? Just cause' you're getting out doesn't mean communication has to stop, sweetheart," Red firmly assures her, pulling her closer into her arms. She places a small kiss on her forehead and smiles kindly at her. It brings a pleasant feeling to know that she's finally being released and she only hopes that she won't do anything to get sent back here.

Exhaling in exasperation, Nicky shakes her head. She much rather have served her full sentence—the thought of leaving her mother and even more so, Lorna, makes her heart soar tremendously. "I'll be here  _every_  damn weekend to see you and my Lorna. How the hell is she gonna go on with her life? I can't imagine this is gonna do any good for her. I mean—besides you and the family—I'm the only person who really gives a shit about the sweet kid. Who the hell's gonna fuckin' protect her like I do? Who's gonna hold her in the middle of the night when she's havin' a damn nightmare? I can't fuckin' leave her, ma. She needs me and I sure as hell need her too!"

"Lorna is gonna be just fine. I'll make sure of that, honey. She's one of my daughters; that's why I share my cube with her. Don't worry so much, Nicky. It's not like you can stay in here forever; you have to get out and live your life. And I can guarantee you that Lorna wouldn't want you stay in here just for her. She wants this for you as do I. You can talk to her on the phone—I'm sure she'll call you a lot and visit her on the weekends. But you can't dwell on what you have no control over."

* * *

Nicky plops her tray a bit harshly on the table that afternoon during lunch and moves the green beans around with the fork as she waits for everyone else to join. She sighs silently, staring down at her food. Leaving what's been her home for nearly four years is one of the hardest things she has to do. All the people she cares about are in here. She has absolutely nothing to go back to in the outside world. And, that, she realizes is not good. The last thing she wants is to get back into her old habits. She wants to make a better life for herself and own a place of her own—one she can share with Lorna once she gets released.

"What's this I hear bout' ya getting' out?" Tricia throws out her question, sitting in her usual spot at the table. Her eyebrows arch in curiosity; it's a bit of surprise to hear that the redhead's actually going to be back in society so soon.

The redhead immediately looks up from the tray, her brown orbs piercing strongly into Tricia's. "How'd ya hear about that? What the fuck? I only told Lorna and ma—how did you find out?"

The blonde slightly shrugs while taking a bit of her bread roll. "Overheard your conversation with Red…congratulations, by the way. Must be real happy to finally be getting out, yeah?" Her voice responds with a mouthful of food.

"Eh, I'd be happier if Lorna wasn't gonna be stuck here to suffer alone. I hate that I won't be able to take care of her anymore—that I have to trust this system full of morons will keep her away from harm. Like they sure as hell did the last time, huh? I don't understand why the fuck they can't give her a damn early release after what they let happen to her!"

Tricia sighs, swallowing another bit and giving a slightly sympathetic glance over to her friend. "She ain't gonna be alone, Nicky. She's got Red and me and Alex and Yoga Jones—even Crazy Eyes, I guess. We won't let none of them COs do anything to hurt her. I don't think any of em' will but we'll make sure. Stop being such a worry-wart. And ya better stay away from drugs out there. Red'll cook ya for dinner if she's see ya come back here, ya hear?"

Sitting down beside Nicky, Alex stares between the two of them with confusion displayed on her face. "What're ya talkin' about? Why is Red going to cook Nicky?" Her eyebrows arch in interest as she takes a sip of her coffee.

Nicky groans, rolling her eyes. Another person to hear of the unsettling news. "I'm getting out in a few days. Red'll be pissed if I go and do drugs again, being sent back here. Even though that's not happening. The only reason I'll come back here is to visit Lorna and ma on the weekends. Speaking of Lorna, where the hell is she? She should be here by now," she worriedly voices her concern, looking around the cafeteria for any signs of the petite brunette.

"Wow, that's wonderful for you. I hope ya take this second chance and build something better for yourself," the black-haired woman sincerely informs her with a friendly smile. She shrugs, though, at her question—having no idea where Lorna could be. "I haven't seen her since yoga this morning."

Tricia's eyes widen in wonder. "She still does yoga? I wonder how she can do it without feeling in her legs?"

"Yoga doesn't always require the use of legs. Yoga Jones found some stretches just for Lorna to do," Alex genuinely points out.

The redhead shakes her head in irritation, waving her hands at the pair of them. "Good to see you're havin' a nice conversation and everything but, uh, it'd be great if ya could care where the hell Lorna is!"

"Nicky, again, stop worrying so much. She's probably just in the bathroom or somethin'. Don't needa get all worked up about it, ya know?"

Nicky's eyes darken as they glare directly into Tricia's orbs. "Oh yeah because Lorna can definitely use the bathroom without help? She struggles just to sit up on her own—how do ya expect for me to believe that she's just gone to use the damn bathroom, huh?"

Rubbing her temples with a sigh, the blonde shrugs and stares just as darkly back at her. "How the hell are ya gonna handle being separated from her for a whole year? You worry about her now—what are ya gonna do when ya can't even see her every day? Maybe you oughta see a therapist or somethin', Nicky. It don't seem healthy how much ya worry about her," Tricia sincerely suggests.

That's enough for Nicky to slam her fists on the table and gather her tray. She vehemently exits the cafeteria, after bussing her tray, and search thoroughly through the many rooms for where her girlfriend could be.

* * *

After spending nearly an hour looking for the brunette, Nicky finally finds her crouched down in the farthest corner of the chapel. Her eyes fill with strong compassion as she makes her way closer to her, gently sitting down beside her. She immediately snakes her arms protectively around her waist, pulling her to lie in her lap. "Baby, why are ya hiding? What's the matter?" Her hand softly caresses against the frail skin of the other's cheek.

Lorna looks up at her with confused lines creased onto her forehead. She shrugs, carefully massaging her temples with the tips of her fingers. "I wasn't hhh-hhh-hiding, Nicky. I came down here to read and-and I kinda-kinda fell out of the wheel chair…tried to get myself back in but couldn't so-so I guess I-I just decided to wait here for someone to c-co-co-come in," is her honest response.

Nicky's heart aches hearing such information. She pulls Lorna closer, delicately laying her head against her chest while running her hands therapeutically through her dark waves of hair. "Jesus, doll. How'd ya fall? Are you hurt?" The questions come pouring out of her as she cradles her love securely in her arms, pecking a soothing kiss atop her head.

"I'm fi-fine. I just wanted to-to get out of-of-of th-th-that damn chair for a little bit and fell try-try-tryna get out," she grunts out in frustration, slamming her hand against the cold ground.

"Shh," Nicky soothes, grabbing both of her hands while resting her forehead on Lorna's. Their lips gently brush together. "This is why I'm so worried about leaving. You're really terrible at letting anyone help ya and that needs to stop. Or you'll end up really gettin' hurt, kid. Ya gotta let people help you; I know it's hard for you to do that but I need my sweet doll in one piece, yeah?"

Lorna chuckles lightly and nods her head, peering lovingly into her girlfriend's warm brown orbs. "I am, aren't I? I'll try-try to be more accept-accept-accepting of help. I just ya know—I hate being a bother. I don't want to make Red regret allowing me to be-be-be her bunk-bunk-bunkmate. I'll be fine, though; don-don-don't worry bout' me, hhh-hon," she gives a half smile, stroking her lips tenderly over Nicky's.

Nicky cups her hands delicately around the brunette's face, making the kiss last longer. She finally releases it and lets her eyes gaze softly into Lorna's. She brushes a loose strand of hair away from them, smiling sadly at her. " _Lorna_ , you're not a bother to anyone. Everyone knows ya can't do much for yourself and they're more than willing to help ya. Ya gotta stop thinking this way, kid. Especially now that I won't be with ya every day. Red would never regret having you as her bunk-mate; you are family to her just like me. Stop this nonsense talk, doll; you are so sweet and precious—you could never be a bother to anyone. You're too damn loveable," she murmurs sweetly amongst her soft lips.

Rubbing her knuckles on the sides of her girlfriend's cheeks, Lorna lets out a tranquil breath of air and beams a glowing smile. "I love you," her voice hotly breathes onto the other's face. She covers her lips over top of Nicky's guiding them in an overwhelmingly zealous kiss. Her forehead rubs lightly along the taller woman's. "Do ya got somewhere to-to stay wh-wh-when ya get out? Cause' if not maybe you-you ca-ca-can stay with my sistah—she just got herself a new apartment. I know she woul-wouldn't mind."

"Again being overly precious, I see," the older woman smirks, tracing her hand lovingly down Lorna's face. "That's sweet a ya, kid, but I actually have an apartment of my own. At least it better still be mine—who knows with my idiotic mother."

"Well, if it turns out sh-sh-she did somethin' with it, please make sure to-to-to call my sistah. She'll help ya get back on yo-yo-your feet if ya nnn-nnn-need it. Especially after all the kind things ya've done for me, lo-love."

Nicky slowly nods, a warm smile spread on her face. She pulls her girlfriend closer, her arms holding her tight against her body. "Don't worry, doll, I'll make sure to do that if anything happens with my place. I love you so much," she warmly speaks against her ear. Her finger tips caress soothing circles around Lorna's porcelain cheeks.

Snaking her arms snugly around her neck, Lorna moves closer to her warmth and peers intently up into her eyes. A firmness hiding in her own. "Please don't do-do any-anything bad out there. I don't want ya gettin' into those nasty drugs again, Nick-Nicky. It's not healthy. I coul-couldn't handle it if-if-if some-something happened to-to you, hhh-honey."

Nibbling softly on the tip of her ear, the redhead affectionately gazes down at her and gives a fervent nod. "I promise you I won't get into trouble. I have you to wait for, sweet doll. The only thing I'll be doing when I get out is looking for a decent-paying job. And I have you and ma to come visit on weekends—I won't have time for drugs," she assures, letting her lips stroke slowly over Lorna's.

* * *

On one hand, Lorna's happy for Nicky—pleased to see that she can go on with her life on the outside—but on the other, it saddens her to see her go. Knowing that she still has a whole long year ahead of her makes today even harder for. Her eyes are glued to the window near the corner of the stairwell; she solemnly watches as the redhead walks farther away from the prison. She keeps watching even after Nicky's long gone.

Red's heart aches inside of her to see how difficult this is for Lorna. She walks over to her and gently takes control of the handles, wheeling her away from the window. "You've been sitting there for nearly an hour, honey; it's time to go have dinner. You have to move on with your life—Nicky will be waiting for you when it's your turn to be released, don't worry over that. You two love each other and love is one of the strongest things out there. But you can't be moping for however long you're still in here. You have other people who will be here for you," her tone stern but also has a slight warmness to it. She momentarily stops pushing her to run a motherly hand through her hair and then continues on down the hallway to the cafeteria.

The Russian chef helps Lorna to get settled at the table before going to retrieve a tray of food for her.

Lorna sighs, resting her head on the table. The thought of shoving food in her mouth makes her feel nauseous. All she wants to do is crawl in her bed and bury herself underneath a layer of blankets to hide herself from the pain of being without her lover.

"Don't be so down, Lorna," Alex gently says, sitting down beside her and placing a comforting hand on her head. "You'll see Nicky again soon. I can bet she'll be here first thing Saturday morning. Cheer up; it'll be okay." She gives a soothing pat to her head, trying to make her feel better somehow but knows there's nothing that will make this easy for her.

Before Lorna can open her mouth to say anything, Red comes back and places a tray of food in front of her. She takes the spot on the other side of her and gently uses her hand to lift the Italian's head off the table. "You need to eat, Lorna. Don't give up on life just because Nicky's not with you. You know damn well she'd be pissed to see you doing this to yourself. In fact, if you keep at it, I'll make sure to let her know when I call her this evening," her voice a little rougher than usual. She forcefully—yet gently—puts the fork in Lorna's hand and moves it towards the spaghetti that sits on her tray.

The brunette emotionlessly brings the fork to her mouth, taking a tiny bit—almost microscopic—of the pasta. A solemn breath of air is exhaled. She twirls the fork over and over through the lightly sauced noodles that sit in front of her.

"That's not a big enough bite," Red sternly points out. She observantly watches her, not liking what she's seeing. "Honey, refusing to eat isn't going to make you get out any sooner. I promise you that. I know it's hard without Nicky—I'm not too fond of that either—but it's not like she's passed away or anything bad. She's living out in normal society where she belongs—where all of us belong. She's not suffering or hurting…I mean she's probably sad to not have you with her but there's no reason for you to be this depressed. She'll be here to visit on the weekends, and you can call her whenever you please."

Lorna shakes her head, finally moving her head to stare up at the Russian. Her eyes filled with a deep sorrow. "I'm happy she's not stuck in here. She-she deserve-deserves to be free. I-I'm not depressed…I just ain't that hungry. Looking at food makes me wanna vomit," she croaks out, pushing the tray away from her and resting her head back in her arms.

The other two women share a look, trying to figure out how to cheer up the small Italian. Alex places her hand softly on Lorna's hair, letting it run comfortingly through it. "How bout' ya just eat the bread, yeah? You can't skip meals, Lorna. That's not healthy and Nicky wouldn't be happy to hear what you're doing to yourself," her voice softly informs as she continues to lightly stroke her hair.

* * *

Saturday slowly arrives bringing a slight pep to Lorna's morning. A smile glows on her face as she wheels along down the hall to visitation—expecting it's Nicky, who's made plans to be there for nine o'clock. But the person she sees waiting on the other side of the table has her nearly jump out of the wheelchair. She gulps, very timidly pushing towards the table.

"Wha-wha-what the hell are-are-are y-y-ya doin' here?" Her voice shakily questions the man opposite her. She feels her hands tremor visibly hard against her lap. She hasn't seen Christopher in nearly the eighteen months she's been locked up here in prison. He didn't even come by after the loss of their son—nor make an appearance at his funeral; though, she grits her teeth at the fact that she can't blame him for the funeral.

Christopher's blue eyes gaze darkly ahead into the brunette's horrified ones. A very faint smirk forms on his face. "You really are handicapped now? Get into a fight or somethin', huh? Doubt it—you couldn't defend yourself for shit," he chuckles, shaking his head.

Lorna's heart races uncontrollably in her chest. She grits her teeth in bubbling rage. "Why-why the-the fuck are-are y-y-y-you here, Christopher? I have-haven't heard from you since before Emilio died—what-what reason do you have to-to come here?"

"Emilio is the reason I'm here, actually," he bitterly answers. He looks into her eyes, a hidden evil seeping through his blue ones. "You're going to have a longer sentence after all the horrible things ya did to him. The doctors said that the head injury he head was too gruesome to be caused from the weak car crash he and I were in. I know they would see the bruises and scratches all over his head—which of course was from me—but they'd believe whatever the fuck I told them. And since you already look bad being in prison, I made sure they know you've been abusing him since birth. You nasty baby abuser you!" He lets out a laugh, watching bemusedly as her eyes widen in outrage.

The brunette feels a strong rush of anger and pain run through her. How can a father abuse their own a child—even more horrific, their own baby? Her heart shatters inside of her. The pain her little angel must have suffered brings a sickening sensation over her. Her eyes glare intently into Christopher's, "You—you fuckin' piece of shit! How-how could you hurt my baby?! He-he-he wasn't even a year old—what-what-what the fuck's wrong with you? What do you mean you told the doctor I did it? I've been trapped in this place before the wreck happened and he-he-he was perfectly healthy before I left…why-why would you make up a sick lie? I would die for Emilio—why would ya tell a doctor that I hurt him? You can't be serious!"

Right as Christopher's about to answer her, Nicky comes running over with a worried crease on her forehead. She immediately wraps Lorna in her arms and glares straight ahead at the man across from them. "Who the fuck are you and why are you being such an asshole to this sweet angel?" She cups Lorna's head in her hands and buries it softly into her chest, resting her chin atop her head while she continues to stare daggers at the person across from them.

"Wow, you must have some pretty low morals to be dating a child abuser like Lorna. That bitch fuckin' murdered our son," Christopher growls, flipping his middle finger up at them. "And I'll make sure she's given a nice life sentence for that."

Gritting her teeth angrily, Nicky tightens her arms around the tremoring brunette. She shakes her head roughly. "So, you're the asshole Christopher? The fuckin' shithead who raped and abused my sweet doll, yeah? You're a cold, sadistic, piece of shit! And you're gonna make up some evil ass story about Lorna? The precious woman who fucking loves her son more than life itself?! No one's gonna believe you. One because it's not even remotely true and two because you're a fuckin' rapist! Get outta here; you don't deserve to be in the same room as this angel," her voice crudely hisses.

Christopher shakes his head with a slight chuckle. He takes his time getting out of the chair, walking slowly past the two of them and bends down near Lorna's ear to whisper, "You'll never see the outside world if I can help it. You're gonna rot here for the rest of your miserable life."


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is full of dark and mature themes. Kidnapping, abusive acts, mentioned child abuse, and more. Read at your own risk.
> 
> Author's Note: I hope this chapter is good enough. I felt awfully horrible writing this...I really hadn't planned for it to be so dark and twisted. But my mind wouldn't leave this idea alone so here it is. I'm also sorry for ending it where I did-didn't mean for that to happen either but I figure a cliffhanger every once in a while isn't the worst thing...at least I hope not. To make up for this, however, I'll write two more chapters to complete this story instead of the next one being last. Feel free to leave feedback, even if it's to say how much you hated this chapter; anything's welcome. Sorry for this.

_Chapter Twenty-Four_

Nicky sits—for twenty-minutes—trying her best to comfort an inconsolable Lorna. Her fingers brush delicately through her girlfriend's short brown hair while her lips press soothingly against her forehead. "Shh, shh. Ya gotta calm down, kid. You need to take a deep breath and tell me what he said to you. Did he do anything to physically hurt you?" She slightly releases the embrace, her hands cupping around the other's face instead.

The clearing of the visitation room CO's throat interrupts their conversation briefly as the two reluctantly separate themselves, claiming seats opposite each other. Nicky continues to stare expectantly at Lorna; her eyes thick with compassion and worry for her. "Talk to me, doll," her voice warmly pleads as she sneakily reaches her hand across to place comfortingly against Lorna's.

"My little Em-Em-Emilio—that as-as-as-asshole Chris-Christopher is-is the re-reason he di-di-di-died!"

Stroking the tips of her fingers delicately over top of the brunette's dainty hands, Nicky peers concerningly into her orbs. "What'd'ya mean? Did he wreck the car on purpose?"

A rush of tears spill from Lorna's eyes. She slams her hands roughly against the wooden table. Her head shakes viciously. "Th-th-the wr-wr-wreck was just-just to-to cover up wha-what he really d-d-did! He-he-he said he abused my son! He hurt- _hurt a baby_ , Nicky! Th-th-the doctor knew my-my baby wa-wa-was hurt worse than th-th-the car wreck and-and Chris-Christopher…he-he—" Sobs overtake her as she lie her head against the top of the table.

"What an evil fuck!" Nicky grits her teeth, pulling Lorna's hand up to her mouth and brushing her lips tenderly over her knuckles. "The doctor fuckin' knows your baby was abused by this fucker and hasn't done anything about it? There's more to this story—what else did he say, baby?"

Lorna shakes her head with tears pouring into a puddle around her face. She can barely gather the words to respond.

With a sigh, Nicky rubs her thumb soothingly across the hand she holds. Her brown eyes gaze worriedly down at her girlfriend. A sinking feeling lies in her chest. "Come on, doll, tell me. I'm here to help you. It's gonna be okay; lift your head and look at me. I wanna see your precious face," she lovingly commands.

The brunette timidly does as she's told; her face puffy and red from the cries that plague her. She painfully looks straight ahead into Nicky's heavily uneasy eyes, "He-he-he told-told them th-th-that I-I-I w-w-was th-th-the one to h-h-hurt my li-li-lit-little Emilio! He-he-he's bl-bl-blaming me for hi-hi-his death, Nick-Nicky…and he sa-sa-said I'll spend the-the rest of my life in-in-in here!"

"No fucking way!  _That fucking devil!_ And how the fuck can this idiotic doctor believe such bullshit? You've been in here since before it even happened—the fuck kinda moron would believe some angel like you could do anything so satanic to a baby?!" Rage boils inside of her. She holds Lorna's hand tight in her own, stroking the tips of her nails softly against the delicate skin. "That's not gonna happen. I will not let this asshole force you to stay in here any longer—you did nothin' but love that son a yours! Anyone with a brain knows that. I'm gonna find that dickhead Christopher and drag him to prison! He's the shit who needs to be locked away forever. Not you, my sweet doll angel."

Nicky's heart bursts with pain as she watches the heartrending sobs course strongly through her lover's body. She longs to hold her and comfort away the pain but—being a now free women, she's not allowed to touch the other until they end the visit…the last thing she wants to do. Leaving her in such a distressed state like this brings a heavy wave of guilt. She exhales a sad breath and grudgingly makes the decision to get up and pull her in for a much-needed embrace. Her arms carefully scoop the distraught brunette from the wheelchair and up towards her chest; she holds her head against her, pressing soft kisses all around it.

"I love you so much, Lorna. I'll make sure that asshole pays for what he did to you and your little boy. You're not gonna be the one who gets blamed for that baby's death. Hell no. You've had enough fuckin' shit to go through; the last thing you need is for people to fuckin' bash you for something you would never even think of doing! It's gonna be okay, kid. You're not getting in anymore trouble; I'll take care of all this nonsense, okay? You just focus on staying strong in here. Try to be positive and do not bottle up your emotions. You need to let them out," she brushes her lips soothingly over Lorna's cheek, squeezing her tight. Her brown orbs peer softly into the other's. "You call me later, yeah? I want you to…before you go to sleep for the night. Let ma take care of you; tell her what happened. Please, baby, talk to her. She'll comfort you, I promise."

Lorna wraps her arms desperately snug around the redhead's neck, burying her face in it as tears soak around her. "I lo-love ya t-too, Nicky—I'll mmm-miss you," her voice shakily sobs out.

Squeezing her close, Nicky places a tender kiss atop her head; she rubs her hand comfortingly around her head while gazing sadly down into her eyes. "I know, my sweet doll; I'll miss ya too. But I'll be back next weekend to visit you, I promise. And we'll talk every day on the phone as many times as ya want. Don't be sad, kid—it's gonna be okay. You'll be okay," her lips lightly touch over Lorna's before she gently places her back in the wheelchair. She lets a hand give one last touch to her and says, "Bye, kid, I'll talk to ya tonight. Tell ma hi for me. I love you; please be good to yourself, doll. I don't wanna hear that you're starving yourself or shit like that."

* * *

After an hour drive back to her small apartment, Nicky grudgingly takes the stairs up to her place. She digs through her purse for the key and jimmies the door open. Entering into the kitchen, she lets out a sigh and goes to start a pot of coffee. Something to help her figure out what do with the mess her girlfriend's stuck in. While it brews, she has a seat at the small table near the archway into the living room.

The sound of her phone going off instantly pulls her out of her thoughts and she hurriedly grabs it from her pocket. She wonders who it might be—she doesn't think it to be Lorna, they've just had a visit…it doesn't make sense that she'd call so soon. Shaking her head, Nicky clicks answer and is proven wrong. Her girlfriend's frantic sobs pan through the phone causing a pang in her chest. A sigh escapes.

"Lorna, sweetie, what's the matter? Why are ya crying?" Nicky softly questions. It brings a strong guilt to her—she knows Lorna doesn't cope well without her there but, unfortunately, there's nothing to be done about that.

Hard breathing is heard on the other line as Lorna's hysteria only worsens.

Nicky's heart breaks. She grips the phone tighter against her ear, "Lorna, talk to me. What's wrong? You gotta use your words, kid; I'm not there to see what the problem is. I need you to tell me. Take some deep breaths and calm down. Everything's okay."

"I-I—you-you're n-no-not hhh-here," the brunette barely speaks loud enough to be heard. Sniffles and sobs overpower her voice. "I-I-I nnn-need y-y-you…I-I c-c-can't."

The redhead uses her free hand to massage her temple. Lorna's distraught words tear heavily at her. It's not fair that a pure woman—such as her girlfriend—is forced to suffer in prison for such a petty crime. "I know it's hard, baby, I know. I wish I was there to take care of you but I'm not. And it sucks—it sucks a lot, believe me. But ya gotta try to live in there without me. It's just six more months. I know that seems long to ya but it's gonna go by fast and then you'll be out here with me, doll. Try to focus on happy things, yeah?"

"It-it-it's gon-gon-gonna be longer th-th-th-than six mmm-months, Nicky!" A piercing sob escapes the woman on the other line. "Chris-Chris-Christopher say-say-says I'll be-be in here f-f-for the re-re-rest of my life," Lorna chokes out.

Nicky grits her teeth and shakes her head fiercely. "Fuck Christopher, kid. Don't listen to that devil. He's just trying to hurt you, baby. You're gonna get out in less than a year. I'll fuckin' make sure of that. Now, ya need to calm down. You can't be getting yourself this worked up—it's not good for ya," she lovingly soothes through the receiver, eagerly hoping to settle her girlfriend's hysteric episode.

Cries slowly fade into sniffles. Lorna exhales a desperate breath of air. "I-I'm sorry," she shamefully whispers.

Walking over to the counter that contains her coffee pot, Nicky uses her free hand to grab a mug from the cabinet above and sighs. "Don't be; I'm glad you called me. That shows me you're leaning how to deal with your emotions better. That's a good thing, baby. I'm prouda ya," she warmly encourages while pouring freshly brewed coffee into her cup.

"Can, can I—should I no-not call la-late-later then? I-I didn't mean—"

" _Baby_ , you can call me as much as ya want. I promised you that and mean it. I love you. You're my soulmate; I'll take as many calls as I can get. I love hearing your precious voice," Nicky soothingly assures. She picks up the steaming mug, bringing it back to the table with her and sits down. "Are ya okay now? Ya think you'll be okay if we end the call? Be honest with me; if ya wanna talk a little bit longer, that's fine doll. I wanna do whatever brings you the most comfort."

Lorna immediately shakes her head and lets out a breathy sniffle. "I'm fine nnn-now, Nicky…just nnn-needed your voice. I-I-I love you so mmm-much," her voice softly murmurs.

Instinctively, Nicky finds herself stroking the tip of her phone—not realizing that it's a piece of plastic she's comforting and not the woman she longs to have in her presence. A sad smile spreads across her face. "Aw, kid, you're a sweet thing. I love ya much more, Lorna. My beautiful baby. You go try to enjoy the rest of the day—how bout'ya ask ma to go on a stroll with ya outside? It's real nice out today. You love being outside. I'll talk to you tonight. Call me after dinner, yeah doll?"

* * *

Minutes after Lorna hangs up the phone, she wheels herself slowly down the hallway back to the dorms. The act of pushing the wheels forward suddenly starts to build up a noticeable resistance. This confuses her. She lifts her head to see if there's something that might be causing it and feels her heart sink when she sees what is.

"Morello, this is officer—shit, what'd ya say your name was again?" Mr. Caputo irritatingly questions the newly hired CO beside him.

The man—who Lorna knows to be Christopher, apparently disguising himself as an officer—smirks at her briefly before staring at the warden with a more pleasant smile. "It's MacLoreno," he arrogantly responds.

The warden rolls his eyes and curtly nods. "Right. Morello, officer MacLoreno will be assisting you with your needs from now on. Today's his first day so don't try to cause any problems," his voice indifferently informs the visibly shaken inmate before he heads off down the hall to his office.

A smirk spreads on Christopher's face as he's left alone with the vulnerable brunette. He takes control of her wheelchair, pushing her harshly down the hall to a secluded area. His hands roughly pull on her hair. "Surprised to see me twice in one day, huh Lorna?" He lets out a blatant laugh, pinning her wheelchair against the wall to stop her from leaving.

"You-you're ly-lying about y-y-you-your identity," the young woman shakily informs, her hands tremoring in fear. She looks up at him with pained eyes and shakes her head. "Wh-wh-when they find out, you-you'll be sent to pris-prison yourself. And-and for-for a long time, t-t-too, because of-of wha-what ya did to my-my baby! I-I-I wo-won't let you get awa-away with it."

Christopher merely chuckles. He digs his nails into her head and smirks at the sound of her disheveled cry. "Oh, please, Lorna. You don't have the strength to do that. You're a weak ass bitch. You couldn't defend yourself if your life depended on it! Ain't no one gonna find out any of that shit—who would believe some child abuser like you? I've already talked to the warden about what happened to the little brat—he thinks you did it and is at work trying to build a case to get you a longer sentence. Maybe even a nice long life sentence, wouldn't that be nice? And all your little criminal friends are gonna turn on you when they hear ya killed your baby! Oh, it's gonna be so thrilling to watch your life fall apart," he retorts, purposefully tipping the wheelchair to watch as Lorna tumbles face-first onto the cold floor.

"I-I didn't do a damn th-th-thing to my baby!" Lorna angrily cries out, shakily trembling in the compacted corner she's trapped in. "Why-why do-do ya have to do-do-do this to me? You-you-you're an evil man—you-you hurt a b-b-baby, my little angel, th-th-that y-you forced me to have—you did this, Chris-Chris-Christopher. I-I-I won-won-won't t-t-take the blame for-for it!"

"Ah, but, you are taking the blame. It's already been done, Lorna. There's nothing you can do to change that," the man lowly growls, pinning her down to the ground. His blue eyes pour into her frightened ones—an evil darkness lurking in them. "It's over. Your life is ruined."

* * *

Dinner comes and Red grows concerned when she doesn't see Lorna anywhere near the cafeteria. She searches through all the tables—from her place in the kitchen—over and over but sees no sign of the petite brunette. That brings a strong sense of worry. She knows it's hard for her without Nicky but that hasn't stopped her from coming down during mealtimes. Lorna's been present for every meal all day—why would she suddenly not come for dinner?

The Russian chef shakes her head and makes her way from behind the counter to her family's table. "Any of you know where Lorna might be? She's come down her for breakfast and lunch…I don't see why she wouldn't come now as well," she inquiries, her eyebrows firmly arched.

"I haven't seen her in a while. In fact, the last time I saw her, she was on the phone with Nicky," Alex points out, looking over at Red. She shrugs her shoulders slightly. "Maybe she's just not feelin' like being surrounded by so many people? She might want time to herself tonight, I don't know."

Tricia nods in agreement with the black-haired inmate. "She's probably just resting or somethin', Red. Probably forgot what time it is."

Red insistently shakes her head. She leaves the cafeteria on a mission to find the tiny brunette. There's no chance she's going to allow her daughter's girlfriend to start skipping out on meals. She walks in the direction of the dorms, hoping to find Lorna somewhere nearby. As she enters into the room, a noticeable cry rings into her ears. She follows the sound to her cube and feels her heart break at the sight of her bunk-mate sobbing into her pillow.

"Oh, Lorna," her voice softly calls out as she kneels on the floor beside her head. She lets her hands run soothingly through her tangled brown waves. "Sweetheart, what's wrong? Why are you so upset? I know it's hard without Nicky in here but you can't give up on living."

The Russian mother-figure gently lifts Lorna's face into her hands and her mouth gapes open at—what appears to be—fresh cuts scattered on her cheeks and forehead. Her eyes peer firmly into the young woman's, "What happened? Who did this to you?" She walks over to her rusty cabinet behind the bed and rummages through it for some medical supplies she's accumulated over the years. With a handful of paper-towels and a bottle of disinfectant spray, Red goes back to sit beside Lorna and gets to work at cleaning the many cuts.

She carefully cleans them, trying not to cause too much discomfort. Her heart aches inside. "Lorna, what happened? You need to talk to me. Did one of the COs hurt you?"

Lorna's sobs slowly fade into sniffles. She quickly shakes her head and flinches at the burning sensation the disinfectant causes against her raw skin. "N-no. I-I-I, uh, I'm-I'm a real-real clutzy," her voice tremors out a blatant lie. Being wheelchair bound now, Lorna realizes just how hard it will be to come up with excuses when she can't walk to cause herself to fall or bump into things.

"Don't lie. How could you have accidently gotten such bad cuts from being 'clutzy'? You can't walk to end up falling. Someone did this to you. Who was it? Don't be scared to tell me, honey. I'm here to protect you. But I need to know who did it so I can protect you effectively. You know if Nicky was here, she wouldn't let this slide. So, out with it," Red sternly commands.

Sighing, the brunette stares down at the ground. The last thing she wants is to get anyone else involved in her problems. Besides, what is there to say? No one would believe her anyway, she knows. "It-it's not-nothing to-to worry about, Red. P-p-please leave it-it-it alone. I-I-I'm fine," Lorna responds, knowing full well her words aren't truthful.

Finishing bandaging Lorna's wounds, Red shakes her head with a sigh. She pulls the petite brunette in for a soothing embrace. Her lips give a motherly kiss to the top of her head, " _It is_  something to worry about. It's not okay for you to be getting abused by a CO. Lorna, you've been through this hell before—don't keep it to yourself; you know that is not good for you! You tell me right now what nasty officer hurt you and I'll make sure Caputo finds out about it."

"It-it-it was an accident," the brunette sighs, giving a not-so-convincing stare up into the Russian's worried blue orbs.

Red places her hands on her hips and gazes sternly at Lorna. "Explain to me how the deep wounds on your face can possibly be a damn accident? What reason would a CO have to even be near your face? Just tell me who did it. The last thing you need is to be abused all over again, Lorna. That's not what you want, is it?" She strokes a hand delicately through the younger woman's hair, trying to decipher how she's feeling.

Shaking her head violently, Lorna gives in to the questions. She certainly doesn't want to be put through any further abuse. She's had enough of it and she'll do whatever she can to stop it. "You-you're not gone-gonna believe it-it-it. An-and tell-telling Caputo won-won't do an-any good."

"Don't do this. You said this shame shit when Mendez was hurting you and look where that got you! I will not leave this cube until I know exactly who the hell bruised your face. So, I advise you to tell me sooner rather than later," the middle-aged Russian firmly assures her, perching herself on the bed right beside her. She lifts Lorna's head to lay gently onto her lap, running her hands soothingly through her hair, "I'll sit here all day with you if I have to. I'm not letting you keep abuse to yourself."

The brunette exhales an unsettling breath of air. "I jus-just wanna get out of-of this hell, Red. I can't fuck-fucking take it-it-it-it any-anymore!"

Those heartrending pleas bring pain to Red's chest. She rubs her forehead softly, wishing there was a way she could help her. A way she could take away every evil thing that's happened to the angelic young girl. "Tell me who hurt you, sweetheart. Tell me how I can help you—you shouldn't have to feel this terrified. It's sickening that police officers are the ones causing abuse around here, especially to a vulnerable young woman like yourself. And that nonviolent people like you and I are the ones locked up," her voice stern.

"It's just so-some nnn-new one—th-think he mi-might just no-not-not be used to th-th-the en-environment and l-l-let him-himself get carried aw-aw-away with the authority. I mean he-he did apol-apologize," Lorna quickly answers.

Red arches her eyebrow in confusion. She stares at her with a puzzled gleam shining through her eyes. "New CO? I haven't seen anyone unfamiliar today…and, even so, that's no excuse for he to have bruised up your face! I swear, Lorna, if I see one more mark—no matter how small it is—I will be speaking with Mr. Caputo. There's no way I will sit back and let you get abused again, absolutely  _no way_!"

* * *

Hours later, with Red's leaving the dorms to go make a phone call to Nicky, Lorna finds herself being harshly grabbed from the bed and thrown into her wheelchair. The feeling of being pushed out the room rings alarm bells inside of her. By the time she finds the courage to look up to see who's taken control of the handles behind it, her heart shatters.

A sinister gaze shines through Christopher's eyes as he peers down at her. He roughly pushes her through the hallway, taking her farther and farther away from the dorms. Approaching an empty corner, he parks the wheelchair in front of the wall and briefly goes into a custodial closet. He comes back out, a minute later, with a long green garbage bag.

Lorna's eyes instantly widen in fear when she sees what he's holding. She tries to push her chair but notices the wheels are locked and even after she's got them unlocked, he's already back behind her and taking control of the chair again. "Wh-why do-do y-y-ya have th-that b-bag? Wh-what's go-go-go-going on-on?"

"Don't get all worked up, ya bitch. I ain't gonna kill you…at least  _not right now_. I need this to keep people from seeing you when I drag you outta here, of course."

The brunette gulps, an unpleasant sensation tearing through her. "Wh-wh-what? You-you can't-can't take me out of-of-of p-p-prison! It-it-it's a-again-against the law," she shakily cries out, her hand gripping tightly onto the arm rests.

Christopher snickers. "Since when do you give a shit about the law? You fucking scammed online stores without a single care and now you're all frantic over being out of here? Fuckin' coward is what you are," he growls, giving a harsh slap against her cheek.

Walking over to stand in front of her, he opens up the bag and forcefully covers her in it. Her cries run in one ear and out the other as he yanks her up out of the wheelchair, carrying her away from it. He finds his way to the back-exit, one he noted on the tour he was given earlier, and quickly runs out of the prison with her.

Once they arrive at his car, he hurriedly throws her in the back and cuts a hole in the bag for her to breathe through. He slams the door shut, getting in the driver's seat and vengefully starts the car. "I'll show you what real prison is like, Lorna. I've had a lotta time to create a nice little concrete room for ya to rot in. You will never see your family or anyone again—well, except for me, of course."

* * *

Nicky sits in her living room with her phone clutched in her hands as she waits for her girlfriend's call. It's verging on eight pm and an unsettling sensation slowly starts to creep up within her. After talking to Red just an hour ago and hearing of the cuts that 'magically' appeared on Lorna's face, she's definitely not getting a good vibe from this. She thought for sure her brunette lover would have called her by now.

Trying to keep her thoughts positive, she decides to turn on the television to drown out her worries for a bit. Nicky focuses her eyes on the screen, letting nearly another half-hour pass as she mindlessly watches a random show. The phone sits motionless in her hands the entire time—not once making a sound. She sighs. Something's certainly not right. It's not like Lorna to not call—especially when she's having a hard day like she is today, Nicky internalizes.

Muting the television, Nicky decides to call Lorna's sister. She holds her phone to her ear and waits through a few rings before she hears the voice on the other end answer with a questioning hello. "Sorry to be calling so late—uh, shit, it's Nicky. I just—I'm worried about Lorna and didn't know what else to do but call you. I went to visit her earlier…and well, it seems somebody else sought to do the same thing," she slowly starts off, getting off the couch to pace around her apartment.

"Oh, hi Nicky—no need to apologize…just wasn't expecting a call at this hour in the evening," Franny assures on the other line. Her eyebrows arch at hearing that her sister had a visitor aside from she and Nicky. Who else would go to see her? Though, when she realized the only other person it could be, her heart sank. "Shit, who the fuck was it? Don't tell me that shithead Christopher was the one!"

Nicky exhales a large breath of air and finds herself moving towards the kitchen. "That's exactly the piece of scum I found sitting on the other side a her when I got there—he was threatening her and trying to blame their son's death on her," her voice mutters with an angry edge to it. She plops herself down at the table, scraping her nails anxiously at the wood.

On the other end, Franny's eyes darken with rage. "Are ya fuckin' kidding me? He's the asshole who wrecked the damn car with her baby in it and he's gonna sit there and blame Lorna!? What the fuck? Why the fuck was he even visiting her for? To make her suffer even more?"

Sighing, the redhead gazes down to her hands. She knows what she's about to say next is probably going to continue to fuel the other's rage—hell, it'll fuel her own as well. It makes her absolutely sick to think that anyone could ever accuse such a loving person as Lorna of abusing an infant. Something she's clearly not capable of, Nicky knows.

"Lorna told me that he said he apparently abused their son since he was born and when the wrecked happened and the doctor found all those nasty injuries—he told Christopher there's no way the accident caused them…someone had to of beaten the baby. So, what the fuck does that bastard do?! Fucking tells the dumbass doctor that Lorna was an abusive mother to him! When he knows goddamn-well  _he's_  the fucker who did it! And now Lorna's scared to death that she's gonna be stuck in prison even longer for this asshole's devilish lie!"

Franny grunts out a rage-driven breath, shaking her heard furiously as she holds the phone tight against her ear. "Oh hell no. That asshole is going to prison. I'm done with this shit. All my sister does is suffer and hurt for things she doesn't deserve! First thing tomorrow morning, I'm paying that monster a visit. He's done nothing but make Lorna's life hell for the past several years and I will not allow him to ruin it any longer. He's the one who needs to be wasting away in a fucking prison cell not my baby sister! This is bullshit," she nearly screams.

"I'm going with you. He's not making my beautiful Lorna pay for the evil he caused!"

* * *

When they finally arrive at Christopher's house, he parks the car in the driveway and goes to retrieve Lorna from the back seat. He roughly grabs her, keeping the bag over her, and carries her up the stairs into the house. After shutting and locking the door behind them, the man climbs the long stairway to the basement—Lorna still wrapped in the trash-bag—into the blocked-off safe room he created off the side of the staircase. He throws the brunette to the ground and finally removes the bag from her.

Her body tremors against the cold-concrete floor as she looks fearfully up into Christopher's sadistic blue eyes. "Wh-wh-why are-are yo-yo-you do-do-doing this?" Lorna's voice shakily cries out, raw and strained from the crying she's encountered this past hour.

With the shake of his head, Christopher grabs her hands and drags her to the back of the room. He takes the hand chains from either side of the wall—that he had installed months ago to prepare for this kidnapping—tightly cuffing them around both of Lorna's hands. "Because you deserve this—ya fuckin' filthy whore. It's  _your_  fault I raped you— _your_ fault you got pregnant and lost our son.  _You_ asked for this, Lorna," he merely laughs, tightening the chains around her hands.

"Y-yo-you kn-kn-know you're gonna get in-in tr-trouble at-at the p-p-prison for-for this tom-tomorrow? Yo-you're a liar and-and an evil pers-person…they-they will th-th-throw you in-in-in ja-jail for pre-pre-pretending to-to be a CO," the brunette tremors out her words, tears falling down her cheeks from the sharp pain the chains cause against her wrists.

Chuckling, the light-brown haired man shakes his head. He lets his hand rub roughly along her bruised face, "You better just worry bout' yourself. I've got some great things planned for you. And, believe me, that idiot warden isn't gonna care. I'll tell him ya escaped and killed yourself. Then no one will look for you because they'll believe your dead. Smart, huh?"

"Alright, better rest up—tomorrow's gonna be a busy day," he smirks, patting her head unnervingly before leaving her alone in the dark room.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Contains graphic depictions of abuse, torture, and genital-mutilation. Read at your own risk.
> 
> Author's Note: I still feel bad for last chapter so I forced myself to quickly write this. I know it's shorter than the usual length of my chapters - I'm sorry - but that's because next chapter is going to be very long as it is the final one. Again, sorry for such darkness the last chapter and this one.

_Chapter Twenty-Five_

Lorna's awoken the next morning—after a horribly uneasy sleep—to Christopher's hovering over with a burning candle. A queasiness forms in her stomach at such sight. What reason could he possibly be carrying a candle with him? She silently prays that it isn't to harm her with. The last thing she wants is to feel her skin burn. Her eyes watch fearfully as he sets the candle on the ground right beside her hand.

"Curious about the candle, are ya?" His voice spitefully questions. A laugh escapes him. "This is what I'll use to burn ya with if ya don't do what I ask. You don't want to feel the burning hot flames on your delicate skin, do you?" Watching her quickly shake her head, a sinister smile spreads on his face.

Christopher slowly unchains her hands before pinning her to the ground beneath him. He smirks at her noticeable discomfort, letting his hand gruffly undress her top half. The tips of his fingers scrape harshly against the skin of her abdomen; the scars from previous operations, he takes note of and makes sure to dig his nails harder around those spots. Her cries only add to his infatuation. This time he reaches for the candle, picking it up, and holds it over her.

"Nnn-no, no, pl-please-please don't burn-burn me," the brunette weakly cries out, trying to squirm her way from underneath his touch. Immediately she regrets her decision when she sees the flame of the candle coming closer towards her abdomen. The minute it touches her skin, a blood-curdling scream escapes her. The pain is indescribable. She's never felt something so horrifying.

The screams make Christopher drag the candle down along her body. He momentarily places it back on the ground so that he can remove Lorna's pants and underwear. He picks the candle back-up and slowly places it over her genital region, lowering it until the flame comes in contact with the skin. Her terrified cries and sobs mean nothing to him; he keeps at it.

His torture-scheme is soon interrupted by the sound of persistent banging on the upstairs door. A disgruntled groan escapes him. He angrily puts down the still lit candle beside Lorna's scorching and tremoring body. Peering darkly down into her tortured eyes, he slaps her hard across the face and growls, "Don't ya make a damn sound. Or I'll come back and rape you and then pour your body in gasoline. I fucking mean it."

* * *

When he opens the door and sees who's come to ruin his morning, he rolls his eyes and glares heavily at the two women. "The fuck do you want, Franny? What reason do you have to come knockin' on my door?"

Both she and Nicky push their way into the house, giving him dark stares. Before Franny can even open her mouth, the redhead pins Christopher up against the wall and peers menacingly into his stone-cold orbs. "Ya better fuckin' leave Lorna the fuck alone! Stop blaming her for shit she didn't do—stuff that sweet angel isn't even fucking capable of doing! You're a real asshole, ya know? Raping and abusing that precious woman wasn't enough for you? Ya gotta accuse her of abusing her own baby—the baby you forced inside of her?!" She claws her hands around his neck, ready to strangle him when she feels the other woman gently pulling her back.

Franny shakes her head with a disgruntled sigh. "As much as he deserves to be strangled, violence isn't going to help," she gently informs the redhead. Turning she glares back at Christopher, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. "So, the reason my nephew and my sister's baby is dead is because you fuckin' abused him? And you're tryin' to put the blame on her? How much eviler can ya get?"

A faint scream halts their conversation. The two women share a worried glance and then stare back at Christopher with even more rage. "What the fuck was that? Is there someone in your house—ya got another victim in here? Where is she? Ya filthy devil," the brunette angrily spits out her questions, her eyes looking around the room for any signs.

"There ain't no one here but me and you two morons. Get the fuck outta here or I'll call the cops," he shouts.

Nicky fiercely shakes her head and walks further into the house, eager to find where the screaming is coming from. "The only one who's gonna need the cops here is you. You need to be rotting in a damn prison cell. After all the hell ya put my baby through!" Another scream is heard, this time a bit louder and accompanied by the sound of an object hitting a wall. She continues to follow where the sound seems to be emanating and finds herself walking down a set of stairs.

Christopher tries to stop her but is blocked off by Franny, who forces him into the kitchen and yells for him to tell her exactly what happened with her sister's son.

* * *

Lying on the floor, her body burning senselessly, Lorna sobs and screams for someone to help her. She bangs the chains roughly against the walls, hoping to get the attention of whoever is up there. Minutes later, she hears frantic footsteps quickly ascending down the stairs and closes her eyes tightly—praying it's someone that isn't Christopher.

The sound of another person's breath forces Lorna to open her eyes to see who it is. Relief and tears rush to her when she lays eyes on Nicky. Even with the extreme pain and scorching her body is in, she finds herself desperately army-crawling over to the taller woman. "H-h-hel-help mmm-me," her voice weakly cries out.

Nicky instinctively runs to her and scoops her up into her protective arms. An overwhelming amount of tears gather in her eyes; she holds Lorna tight against her chest, smothering her head in loving kisses. "Oh baby, what-what did that evil monster do to you? What the hell…how-how did he even get you out of prison without any COs seeing? That sadistic fuck! My poor baby," her voice soft and warm against her girlfriend's ear. She gently starts carrying her back up the stairs.

Her arms pull the tremoring Lorna as close against her body as she can have her. When she reaches the top of the stairs, she walks into the kitchen where she hears Franny's enraged voice and motions for her grab Christopher to keep him from running away. Nicky sits down in a chair, rocking her girlfriend lovingly in her arms while giving a hardened stare towards the man.

"You  _devil_ ," she growls, her arms wrapped snug around Lorna's head to keep her hidden from the monstrous man. "You're a damn  _monster_! What the fuck were ya planning to do with this angel? How the hell did ya even sneak her outta prison? Do you even realize how much trouble you fuckin' got my baby in? Or how much trouble  _you'll_  be in when the police get here?! You deserve to be tortured and killed for whatever the fuck ya did to Lorna! You're gonna rot in prison for the rest of your life and then burn for eternity in hell—because that's exactly where a rapist like you belongs!"

Christopher's face slowly reddens with fury. He breaks free from Franny's grasp and charges towards Nicky. "I ain't going to prison, ya fuckin' idiot. I'm not the criminal—Lorna is," his voice hisses as he pulls harshly on the brunette's shaking—battered—body.

Nicky shakes her head and hoists her leg up to kick him in the genital region. "You stay the  _fuck_  away from her," she spits at him, tightening her arms around the vulnerable woman. Her lips press delicately atop Lorna's head; a few empathetic tears fall from her eyes as she gazes softly down at the other, "Shh, shh. You're safe now, doll; I'm here, I'll keep ya safe. The police are on their way and that evil sadistic shit will be locked away for the rest of his shitty life. And you will be loved and cherished the way you deserve. I will not let them take you back to that fucking hellhole prison!"

The older brunette quickly walks over to investigate what's been done to her sister. A strong sensation of wrath tears through her to know that something evil has been caused to her. "Lorna, sweetheart, can ya tell Nicky and I what he did? I know it's terrifying to think about but we need to know how hurt you are. We need to know so we can get ya the proper medical treatment," her voice softly whispers as she kneels in front of where she sits.

Heavy breathing escapes her. She buries herself further into Nicky's protective arms. "It-it-it-it b-b-bur-burns," she cries out, her voice muffled by her girlfriend's shirt. Inconsolable screeches pour out of her while she grips tightly onto the other's neck.

"What-what burns, baby?" Nicky uneasily inquiries, pulling her closer against her chest. She rests her chin comfortingly over top of her head, letting her hands stroke softly around the back of her head. There's a pang in her heart. She hopes to God that her girlfriend wasn't burned.

Lorna shakes her head, her breathing harder and louder.

"Baby, ya gotta tell me what burns. What did he do? Did-did he fucking burn you? Where the hell did he? Show me, sweet doll," the redhead tenderly pleads, cupping her hands lovingly around Lorna's face. The pure tortured gleam that emanates in her eyes washes Nicky with a sinking-sensation in her chest. She gently leans her forehead against the brunette's, gazing compassionately at her, "You're safe; you can talk to me. Don't be afraid to tell me what he did. I know it's scary and hurts but it's important that Franny and I know what abuse has been done. We need to know so we can tell the police and the paramedics. You're gonna need to go to the hospital and get treated—you're clearly in bad shape, sweetie."

The brunette just peers into her eyes—letting tears fall from her own as she shakily lifts a finger. She moves her finger down to her stomach and then to her genital region. Large sniffles and sobs escape. "Ccc-ccc-candle," her voice whispers between sniffling.

Everything in Nicky dissipates when that one word comes out of her girlfriend's mouth. Her heart cracks. She strokes her lips comfortingly over the brunette's trembling ones. "He-he, he fucking used a candle to-to burn you? On your stomach and your-your vagina—So help me God that piece of shit needs to be killed… _My God_! Lorna, he-he fucking mutilated the hell outta you…baby, we need to get you to a hospital  _NOW_!" She tightens her hold on the distraught woman, standing up from the chair and nearly half-way to the door when it's knocked down by the Litchfield warden—followed by a team of paramedics.

"What in the fucking hell happened?" Mr. Caputo throws out his questions. He stares between the bruised and tremoring brunette and the man who lies on the floor, clutching his shaft in obvious discomfort. He walks over to him and notices how familiar his face seems—the resemblance to the new CO strikes him as odd, especially since he failed to show up today. "Wait a damn minute—you're that new CO who started yesterday…Officer MacLerono or something? Is that even who you are? Did you take Morello from the prison? What actual hell?" He shakes his head in disbelief, slapping his forehead in exasperation.

Standing next to Lorna, after she's been placed on the gurney, Nicky's rage grows. "So that's how the asshole kidnapped her!? He's not a fuckin' officer, Caputo, he's Christopher the devil. He fucking raped and abused this poor women years ago and no damn police would believe her! And he fucking abused their baby—he's the reason their son is dead! He was going to pin it on Lorna—he needs to be thrown in his own prison cell," she screams, holding one of her girlfriend's hands as she glares menacingly into the man's evil blue orbs.

"He fuckin' kidnapped her and had her locked up in his basement where he fuckin' burned her with a candle! He's evil—arrest him, Caputo! Have a damn heart for once. You know how fucked up Lorna's life has been since being in your prison—you owe this to her to put him where he belongs."

* * *

Once Lorna's been through an array of tests and treatment for her burns, Nicky finally is approved to go see her. She frisks her way through the hallway, entering the room on the far left. Her heart aches sorely when she sees how banged up her girlfriend truly is. The tears that stream down her porcelain cheeks brings a strong wave of compassion over her. She pulls a chair close to the bed, sitting herself down, and grabs hold of Lorna's hand.

"Shh, shh," her voice tenderly soothes as she lifts her hand up to her lips, stroking them affectionately over her knuckles. "You're safe now; I'm here, Lorna, I'm here. It's gonna be okay; I'll be right here with you. I'm not leaving you, ever. I don't care. You obviously need me, doll. I need to take care of you."

The brunette desperately holds out her arms, longing for the close contact—for the only arms in the world that can make her feel safe and secure. The only pair of arms that she trusts will never bring her any harm. Loud sniffles emanate.

Nicky easily takes the hint and very gently gathers her in protective hold. She cups Lorna's head in her hands, pressing a soothing kiss on her forehead before laying it against her chest. "Precious doll," she whispers into her ear, slowly rocking back and forth with her. She nuzzles her head against the other's while keeping her arms enveloped snug around her waist.

"Do ya wanna talk about anything he did?"

The other violently shakes her head, burying her face deeper into Nicky's chest. Sobs course through her, causing vibrations to be felt by the older woman.

"It's okay, kid…shh. Ya don't have to talk if you don't want to. Please calm down," the redhead immediately soothes, brushing her lips delicately atop her head. Her arms tighten, trying to bring her any comfort she can. "Just rest. You need to try to sleep; that's the best option right now. I'll be right here, baby. I'm not leaving you. Close those beautiful eyes of yours and let the gentle thump of my heart-beat lull ya into a much-needed rest. I promise you'll be okay; I won't let you out of my arms."

* * *

Some hours later, the door opens awakening both women from their slumbers. Nicky instinctively pulls Lorna close as her eyes move to the door. She feels a pang of worry when she sees that it's Mr. Caputo standing there. "Why are you here?" She spitefully inquiries, tightening her arms around the broken woman.

The warden sighs, allowing himself in the room. He holds out a pair of handcuffs and gives a knowing look to both of them. "She has to come back to prison. I know it's not the best timing to have to do it right now, but it's the law. She still has to finish her sentence…possibly longer," he nearly whispers the last and feels guilty for saying such. Sometimes being the warden is the worst job possible, he thinks.

"What? What the hell? Possibly longer, are ya fucking serious? For what damn reason? She was kidnapped by a fake-ass CO your idiot employees hired! She is not paying the price for that," Nicky growls, pulling Lorna even closer. She rubs her back softly to calm her from all the shaking her body is doing. Her head shakes furiously.

"Look, I know it's not right and I wish I didn't have to make her go back there. But I can't control this shit. She has to go back to prison and stay longer for breaking out of prison. I'm sorry."

Nicky shakes her head even stronger; her brown eyes pouring darkly across into his. "She didn't fucking break outta prison—Christopher kidnapped her and tortured her! He  _burned_  her, Caputo! He took a fucking candle and let the flame touch her skin—her stomach, where she fucking had scars from that operation last year, and her-her fucking vagina! Do you know how much fucking pain she's in right now? How much hell she's been put through this past day and you want to throw her back in prison? So what, some other CO can fucking torment her? I'm not letting you take her; she needs me—I refuse to leave her," she hisses, tightening her arms around her girlfriend.

Slicking back his hair in frustration, the warden lets out a sigh. "I can't leave here unless she's in handcuffs. There's nothing else I can do to stop this. She still needs to pay for her crimes."

" _Her_  crimes? Are ya kidding me—how can ya consider her petty online shopping scam a crime compared to all the shit she's been through? I think that's enough to warrant she be let free. She's suffered enough—it's like you don't even care about what happened to her! All you care about is your job. You don't care what this sweet angel's had done to her, do ya? You're no better than the people who did this to her then. I'll sit here all day with her; I'm not letting you take her."

"If you don't give her to me than I'll have to arrest you as well—Oh, Jesus Christ, that's what ya want isn't it?" Caputo quirks an eyebrow at her, his hands folded over on his hips.

Nicky continues to stare darkly at him. She doesn't budge from the seat or loosen her arm any. "If that's what has to happen, go ahead. I'm not gonna allow you to take her without a fight. You'll have to take me too. I don't care; all I got is Lorna. I rather be in prison with her if this bullshit corrupted system won't allow her to be free. Arrest me, Caputo. I don't give a single fuck."

* * *

Everyone eyes Nicky suspiciously when they see her walk into the prison in handcuffs, right beside a shaking and tremoring Lorna who's pushed in down the hall in a wheelchair. Caputo leads them down into the dorms and finally takes off their handcuffs. He sighs, giving them one last—almost an apologetic—glance before leaving the room.

The redhead shakes her head furiously but when she turns to stare at Lorna, it quickly disintegrates into compassion. She scoops her out of the wheel chair and sits on the bed with her. "Hey,  _hey_ , you're okay. Everything's okay now; I'm with you, baby. I told ya I wouldn't leave ya and I meant it. We're gonna get through this, I promise," she softly soothes into her ear while rocking her gently in her arms.

Red rushes in the cube, after hearing other inmates talking in the hall, and sits down beside them. Her eyes fill with worry and concern. "Nicky? What the hell is going on? Why are you back here? And what happened with Lorna? Oh, dear Jesus, it was that new CO she was talking about wasn't it?" She cups her hands gently around Nicky's face, staring intently into her eyes.

"A lotta shit happened, ma. Apparently, Christopher kidnapped her—musta been this 'new' CO because Lorna's sister and I find her in his basement when we went to pay him a little visit this morning. He did some really, really, messed up evil shit to her! I don't even know all of it because she's so scared," the redhead viciously grumbles, tightening her hold on the tremoring Italian.

Her mouth gaping open, the Russian chef can barely find the words to speak. She wraps her arms around both women, her heart hurting tremendously for both of them. "My God! Are you serious? This is just fucking sickening…how did you end up getting arrested, my Nicky? Please don't tell me you killed this man or anything stupid!"

Nicky shakes her head with a broken smile on her face. "No, that's not why. Wish it was though—that devil deserves death! He's almost worse than Mendez! No, no the fuckin' reason I'm here is because I pretty much told Caputo he wouldn't leave the hospital with Lorna…but if he was gonna take her, he'd have to take me too. I can't let her live in here without me. She can't survive without me, ma. It's the most obvious thing," she mutters, tears leaking out of her eyes as she feels the violent convulsions of Lorna's body against her own.

Looking down at Lorna, she feels the pain that derives through her eyes and cries with her. "It's okay, baby; I'm right here with you. Please don't shake so much. You're safe in my arms. You know that, sweet angel," her voice cracks as she strokes her lips lovingly against her girlfriend's face. Something needs to change, she internalizes. Something needs to be done about this corrupted system. She knows Lorna can't take anymore torture or torment.

Empathy rises inside Red. She pulls them in for a protective embrace, pressing a soft kiss to each of their heads. "My poor babies," she whispers, stroking them both on the back. "I'm so sorry, my girls. You two don't need anymore pain or heartache. The two of you have been through enough for one life time. I'm here for the both of you and I know you'll both get through this. I have strong daughters."


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I'm very sorry for how long it's taken me to update this. I honestly had a difficult time writing this one for a while, had some serious writer's block. I tried to write it all week and couldn't get anything to come out...but then within the last two days, this happened. I only planned for it to be 7,000 words but that very quickly turned into over 10,000. I guess that's fine since this is the final chapter. I hope those who've read this enjoyed it. My main focus, now, will be on Unspoken Torture - so if you enjoy dark and angst make sure to give that a read...if not, that's okay too.
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains lots comfort/fluff, mentions of abuse, torture, rape, fluffy smut, and taunting/mocking. It's also quite long. Read at your own risk.

_Chapter Twenty-Six_

It's nearly midnight when the dorm of prisoners is woken to the horrific shrieks of Lorna Morello. Vivid memories of the treacherous events pour mercilessly into her dreams—rendering them terrifying nightmares. Irritated groans are echoed throughout the room. Nicky immediately jumps out of her own bunk and jogs into the Italian's. The minute she's inside the cube, she frisks her way over to the bed—lifting Lorna's convulsing body into her arms and lying down with her.

Her arms hold snuggly around the smaller woman's waist, keeping her body pressed up soothingly against her own. She strokes her lips tenderly atop her forehead while gently swaying back and forth. "Wake up, my doll," Nicky's voice warm in the brunette's ear. The tips of her fingers caress lightly along her forehead. "You're safe; I've got ya, baby. I'm right here."

The visions only continue to take over Lorna's mind. She tries to open her eyes to escape them but realizes that only makes things worse. "Hhh-help mmm-me!" Her voice shakily cries out; the image of Christopher's burning her only becoming more vivid.

"Lorna, love, you're  _okay_!" Nicky desperately soothes, cupping her face tenderly in her hands. She leans their foreheads together, letting her breath hit softly against the other's lips. "Open your eyes. Look at me. I'm right here with you. You're safe with me, Lorna. Please open those sweet eyes of yours…lemme have a look at your pretty face."

Shaking her head violently, the brunette fearfully tries to free herself from the arms that trap. She can't make out that it's her girlfriend—all she sees is her dementor's devilish eyes piercing heavily at her. "No-no mmm-more—please-please stop b-b-burn-burning mmm-me," Lorna pleads, sobs harshly shaking out of her

"Baby,  _baby_ —Ya just, ya had a nightmare, sweet baby. It's okay now;  _you're_  okay. No one's burning you… You know I'm Nicky, yeah? Christopher's not coming anywhere near ya ever again—he's too busy rotting in prison. Don't worry," the redhead softly murmurs, laying her disheveled girlfriend against her while wrapping her arms as snug as she can around her waist trying to keep her from tremoring so much.

The brunette continues to push away from her touch. "S-stop," her voice no louder than a whisper.

With a sigh, Nicky only tightens her arms around her and lays back in the bed with her. She gently pulls the blanket to wrap securely around the pair of them. Her lips brush delicately over Lorna's forehead, "I love you so much, doll; I'd never do anything to hurt ya… You're the most precious angelic woman I know. You deserve to be loved and cherished—and that's exactly what I'll show ya. I promise, my baby; you will never go through any horrific abuse again, I'll make sure of that."

* * *

The next morning Nicky is woken to the sensation of soft breathing against her neck. Her eyes pop open and stare down to inspect the culprit. A faint smile spreads on her face when her eyes meet Lorna's delicate brown ones. She lets the tip of her fingers to stroke lightly along her girlfriend's frail cheeks. "Mornin' kid—feel better?"

Lorna peers up at her with a slight nod. Her head she burrows gently against the other's chest. She lets her eyes gaze lovingly up into Nicky's while brushing the tips of her fingers softly along her skin. "I'm s-s-sorry," her voice softly breathes against her girlfriend's chest.

"Sorry? Baby, you have no damn reason to be sorry!" Nicky desperately assures, wrapping her arms snugger around the petite woman's waist; she leans their foreheads lightly against one another's and lets her eyes gaze softly into hers. "You're my beautiful Lorna; it's my job to take care of you…it's what I love doing, kid."

Shaking her head, the brunette grips tighter onto Nicky's shoulders. "I—if I woul-woulda kept quiet…ya-ya wouldn't be-be s-s-stuck back h-here-here…I'm-I'm sor-sorry—ya should-shouldn't be in here!"

Those words overpower Nicky with a fierce sternness. Instantly, she stops her girlfriend from continuing by softly taking her head and laying it delicately against her chest. " _None_  of that talk. I mean it, kid—don't start this shit again! I don't wanna hear my baby accusing herself of being a 'burden' because that ain't nothin' but bullshit. Ya hear me, Lorna?" Her voice quite firmly questions as her brown eyes gaze intently down into the smaller woman's.

"But-but you-you shouldn't b-b-be in here! It-it is my fault ya-ya got back in-in—"

" _Stop it_!" Nicky harshly yells, holding her hands firmly around Lorna's face. There's absolutely no way she will allow the woman she loves to go through another round of this 'feeling like a burden' shit again. "I fucking chose my fate, Lorna…I made it very clear to Caputo that I was not letting you come back here—I'm the reason I'm in here again and it was fucking worth everything. Being with you and taking care of you is my number one priority…especially after what just happened to you! You are worth it, my beautiful doll; I don't care if I have to stay here longer as long as I'm able to keep you safe then that's all that matters."

* * *

"Nicky? What the actual hell are ya doin' back here so soon? It's been like—what a week?" Tricia immediately inquiries the second she sits down at the table for breakfast later that morning. Her blue orbs curiously gaze over at the redhead, wondering what possible reason she's back in here after only a couple of weeks.

After making sure Lorna is seated in the spot beside her, Nicky turns to look at the blonde across from them. She places her hand gently on top of her girlfriend's under the table while thinking of how to word her answer. "Some shit happened and here I am—nothin' ya needa be worryin' about, Trish. Let's just go about the day," her voice firmly mutters.

Tricia gives her a hard stare. "Ya do drugs again?"

"Fuck no! It has nothing to do with fucking drugs!" The redhead irritatingly shouts, slamming her hand on the table. She shakes her head fiercely. The last thing she wanted was to end up back in this shit-hole—but there's no way she'd have let Lorna be thrown back here without her.

Throwing her hands up in the air, Tricia throws a cold glance the older woman's way. "Then what the hell other reason could it be? What am I supposed to think, huh Nicky?"

Nicky sighs, staring down at the brunette beside her. Her fingers rub soft circles around her hand when she receives a small nod to her silent question. She turns to fix her gaze back on Tricia, "Look, Trish, something real bad happened to Lorna yesterday and…well, I kinda told Caputo there was no way I'd let him drag her back here—so here we both are."

Biting into her waffle, the youngest of the three exhales deeply. " _Jesus._  When is enough  _enough_?"

"That boat passed a long fuckin' time ago. This world has been nothing but cruel to my sweet baby," Nicky gruffly retorts with the shake of her head. She drops a tender kiss to the brunette's head and continues to glance over at Tricia.

The three sit in silence, slowly eating their meals, before two more seats are claimed and wonderous questions are asked yet again. Nicky inwardly rolls her eyes; she hates having to repeat herself, especially when she knows it's subtly upsetting Lorna. An arm she wraps protectively around the small woman's back as she opens her mouth to spill out the same answer, "Some things happened yesterday with Lorna and I refused to let Caputo fucking bring her back here…so got myself arrested for it and it was fuckin' worth it. I don't give a shit about being free if it means my Lorna has to suffer alone!"

* * *

With breakfast finished, Nicky takes control of her girlfriend's wheelchair and gently begins pushing her out of the cafeteria, through the hallway, and out to the recreational yard. She very carefully scoops the petite brunette out of her wheelchair and sits her on the grass while claiming the spot beside her as her own. Her arm instinctively wraps around Lorna's waist, pulling her to rest against her shoulder.

"Wha-what was-was it like to-to-to be fr-fr-free aft-after sss-sss-so long?" Lorna's eyes peer up at the older woman with a peaking curiosity.

Brushing a hand softly through her wavy brown hair, Nicky lets out a light breath of air. She can't help the faint smile that spreads across her face—those two weeks of freedom were quite refreshing. "Ain't gonna lie; it was nice to be able to do what I want when I want…but not having you or Red or the resta the family was hard. Felt very lonely. It'll be nicer to be out when I have my beautiful Lorna with me," she honestly replies, dropping a gentle kiss to the top of her girlfriend's head.

Lorna instinctively rests her head onto the taller woman's shoulder and closes her eyes for a brief minute. The thought of one day being free and living a peaceful life with the woman she loves is a dream she can only wish to happen. "Guess-guess th-th-that will be-be a while—sss-sss-sorry," she murmurs so quietly the other must merely strain her ears.

" _Lorna_ , stop it. I'd much rather be here with you than out there. You need me more than I need to be free. Ya stop thinkin' this shit is any a your fault, ya understand me?"

The shorter girl sighs, opening her eyes to gaze intently up into Nicky's soft ones. "I just—I-I feel-feel bad th-that ya have-have to be-be-be in here a-a-again. You did-didn't do any-anything to-to-to deserve to be th-th-thrown here—it-it-it ain't f-f-fair!"

Shaking her head in exasperation, Nicky cups her hands softly around Lorna's porcelain cheeks and stares deeply into her brown orbs. "Well don't! You have no fucking reason to feel bad about anything, kid. You've been through hell—once again—and ya think I'd just let Caputo drag you away after that? What—do ya think you mean diddly-squat to me or something? I will do anything I can to keep you safe, Lorna, even if it means I'm stuck in this fucked up place again! I don't give a shit. I've been in here for four years, what's another one? As long as you're okay, then that's all that matters."

"I-I-I love you," Lorna softly murmurs, a few tears slowly leaking down her cheeks as she wraps her arms snug around the other's neck. She nuzzles her head lovingly against it, relishing in the warmth that it radiates.

A small smile forms on Nicky's face. She envelops her arms protectively tight around Lorna's petite waist, pulling her closer to her body. "I love you too, doll, so damn much. I promise the two of us are gonna get outta here soon and when we do, we'll get to spend the rest of our lives together being happy. You deserve to live a happy, healthy, and full of love life," her voice warm against the petite brunette's ear as she brushes her thumb lightly up and down her cheeks.

"Wh-wh-when do ya think we-we-we'll get ow-ow-out?"

That innocent question brings a sad sigh to escape Nicky. She slightly shrugs, her eyes peering lovingly down at her girlfriend. "I don't know, baby—I hope soon. Ya shouldn't be forced to stay here any longer…they've let some real evil things happen to ya in here—they owe you big time!"

Lorna sighs and tilts her head down. She gazes blankly at the dew-covered grass, mindlessly letting her fingers play about in it. Everything Nicky says sinks in; she knows her words are true – nothing good has come out of her time here in prison, she internalizes. The people who are supposed to keep the rest of the population safe—well, some of them—are the ones inflicting the most damage.

"Lorna? Why ya being so quiet? What're ya thinkin' bout' my sweet doll?" The redhead worriedly questions after several moments of silence. Her big brown orbs peer heavily down into Lorna's, desperately curious to know what's running in that head of hers.

With a deep exhalation and shrug, Lorna lifts her head back up to look longingly into her girlfriend's concerned eyes. "Why-why is it th-th-that I'm the one-one it-it-it seems people li-li-like to abuse?" A question she's wondered about for years now.

"People are fucking assholes—that's why. You're a sweet, precious, angel and assholes like to take advantage of that! Your heart is so pure and gentle, and these fucking little shits just walk all over it. They're sadistic is what they are. It has nothing,  _nothing_ to do with you, baby; they just—they enjoy choosing the most vulnerable and loveable people to hurt. But I swear to you there will be not a single ounce more of abuse; you're with me now, baby, and the only thing I have for you is  _love_  and  _more love_. No more suffering. You've had way too much of that shit."

* * *

While on her way to the kitchen, Red sees Nicky walking the other way and decides to pull her along. Once they get there, she takes her redhead prison daughter into her office—sitting her in the chair across from her own. She goes over to sit on the other side of her small table and takes a close look at the younger woman. Her heart aches to see her back in here so soon yet she knows it wasn't for doing anything she shouldn't—and that makes things much easier for she to accept.

"What exactly happened to Lorna?"

The question forms a lump in Nicky's throat. Just the thought of what her girlfriend's endured brings a wave of nausea over her. No one should have to suffer through something so evil, especially not a person as precious as her Lorna. "Sick, twisted, shit. My poor baby—she fucking was burned with a damn candle, Red! This fucking Christopher—ya know the demonic man she claimed to be her fiancé? He fucking faked being a CO to kidnap her an-and had her fucking locked up in some torture chamber in his basement! He's a piece of shit is what he is…a devil who should have a public viewing of his torturous demise," she roughly mutters, smashing her hand against the rim of the table.

Red's mouth gapes open; she peers over at her daughter with an overwhelming amount of concern. "What do you mean he  _burned_  her? What kind of person does something so disgusting?  _How_  can someone— _anyone_ —do that to Lorna of all people?"

"He fucking took a candle and let the flame scorch the hell out of my baby's precious skin! She showed me the places that devil burned her and dear fucking God, ma, only a satanic person could do something that damn evil!  _No one_  should have to go through half the shit she's been through, especially not her…why the fuck does Lorna have to deal with all this hell? She's the sweetest woman there is—she doesn't deserve any pain! This is fucking bullshit," the redhead growls furiously.

The Russian chef lets out a deep breath. She uneasily shakes her head and stands up out of her chair—walking over to Nicky to pull her up for a strong embrace. Her arms envelop snug around her waist; blue orbs peer intently into brown ones. "Hell will be waiting for this Christopher; that's exactly where a sick man like him belongs. Right next to Mendez. Those two will see their fate soon enough—well Mendez is already started on his eternity of torture. Christopher's will come in due time, my Nicky. You just worry about taking care of Lorna. She's all that matters."

* * *

After a refreshing talk with her prison mother, Nicky heads back to the dorms to check on her girlfriend—who decided to rest in her bunk after an exhausting morning. She perches herself beside the brunette's head and gently lifts it to lay on her lap. Brown eyes watch observantly as Lorna's body slowly starts to thrash about – signaling the older woman that a nightmare must be brewing.

"Lorna,  _Lorna_ ," she warmly soothes into her ear. When she finds that her words aren't doing anything to bring the girl out of her dream, Nicky lays beside her and wraps her arms tight around her waist. "I'm right here, doll. You're okay—you're safe. Nicky has you now; everything is gonna be just fine, sweet doll. No more nightmares. I promise…just open your eyes."

Slowly, with some hesitation, Lorna lets herself relax in the arms and peeps her eyes out to stare up at her very worried girlfriend. "I-I-I see him—every ti-ti-time I try-try to sleep," she cries out, burying herself desperately in the taller woman's strong arms.

Rubbing the tips of her fingers gently up and down her back, Nicky exhales a solemn breath while dropping a warm kiss to the top of her head. Knowing everything the young brunette has been through makes her heart ache so deeply for her. She wishes she could wipe it all away—make the memories leave her, but she knows just how unrealistic that is.

"Ya wanna maybe talk about it? I know what that devil did to ya was absolutely horrifying and painful, but it might help you to talk to me…only if ya want to, though. If it's too much then you don't have to say a thing," Nicky softly suggests, cradling Lorna's head gently against her chest.

Slightly shrugging, the brunette gives a wary glance up at Nicky. Talking about the torture, she internalizes, will only make the pain stronger and she's not too sure she wants that. Yet, on another hand, she also knows keeping the horrific memories locked up won't do any good either. "I-I wish-wish death on-on him. I-I ain't n-n-never wish-wished death on any-anyone be-be-before but he-he's so-so-so evil, Nicky…he-he-he killed my baby!"

"Oh, Lorna," Nicky softly murmurs while pulling her closer and stroking her face tenderly. She gazes warmly down into her innocent brown orbs – once again – amazed with her complete generosity. "You're an angel, kid, an absolute angel. You're always so damn selfless…even when you've just gone through fucking hell for the third time. He does deserve to die—he's nothing but a devil for what he's done to you and your son! Someone needs to chain him up and burn him to death with a candle…the fuck kinda person does that to another human?! He's lucky Caputo showed up before I got the chance to murder him!"

Stopping herself with a deep breath, Nicky exhales slowly and shakes her head. Anyone who could even think to harm such a kind-hearted individual as the woman she loves infuriates her to no end. There's no reason for that, she fiercely thinks.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to get so angry—ya know I can't stand people who hurt ya, though. It makes my blood boil. You're so sweet and beautiful…I can't understand what reason any human being would have to actually want to hurt you! Okay, okay, enough about my anger…I want you to talk to me—tell me what happened; whatever you're comfortable talking about, sweet doll."

Lorna shuts her eyes momentarily, trying not to relive the pain. "He-he was nev-never my-my fiancé," she mumbles, subtly hiding her face in the taller woman's chest.

Stroking her lips delicately atop her head, Nicky keeps a snug hold on her. Her eyes melt affectionately into the other's. "I know, doll. It's okay—please don't think ya've gotta apologize for saying that to anyone. I understand why ya did that. You couldn't deal with the shit he did to ya so you made yourself believe he ' _loved_ ' you and was gonna marry you. Am I close?"

"It-it-it's li-li-like you can hear my-my th-th-thoughts," Lorna quietly mutters with her face still hidden.

"I love you, Lorna; I kinda understand how ya think… _sometimes_. It makes sense. Ya needed some way to cope with the abuse he caused you—that's absolutely nothing for you to feel bad about. Nope, that just proves to me how strong you are. The strongest woman I've ever met, baby. And don't ya dare try to fight me on that," she firmly states, resting her chin gently over top of her girlfriend's head. Her hands cradle the brunette's head tenderly on her chest.

Her head shaking lightly against the other, Lorna grumbles out an inaudible jumble of words. "That's-that's a lie."

Nicky gazes softly down at her, "What was that, sweetie?"

"Noth-nothing," she hurriedly replies, quickly moving her eyes down to the mattress underneath them.

Cupping her hands gently around Lorna's face, Nicky shakes her head and stares sternly into her eyes. " _Lorna_ , you will not hide shit from me anymore. We've already established this. You're my girlfriend, whom I love more than anything, and I need you to be honest with me about everything. If you want to heal from the hell you've endured, ya need to talk to me about it. I know it hurts ya— _I do baby_ —but it's something you  _need_  to do. It's either me or some idiot therapist who don't know shit about ya."

"I-I said th-that's a lie."

"A lie—what's a lie, kid?" Nicky questions; her eyes peering worryingly over the petite Italian. She brushes her hand delicately through her brown waves, hoping to soothe her timidity.

The brunette slightly gulps. She knows what she says next will only fuel anger but she can't control how she's feeling right now. "Ya all-all-always put me up on-on-on a petal stool, an-and we-we both know it's a li-li-lie. I ain't st-st-strong."

Biting down her lip, Nicky shakes her head slowly. A fury bubbles underneath her skin. It hurts to know how deep this self-loathing is for her girlfriend. No matter how hard she tries to rid her of it, it only comes back stronger. "Why, sweet girl, why do ya say that? What makes ya think you're not strong? You've been through more shit than most people go through in a lifetime—how the hell can ya think you're not strong?" She tightens her arms around Lorna's waist while peering desperately down into her eyes.

"I-I-I prayed th-that I woul-would die wh-wh-when he-he-he—"

"Lorna, sweetie, stop—just  _stop_ , doll," Nicky instantly hushes her, laying Lorna's head back down against her chest. She holds it there with her hands and places a soothing kiss to the back of it. "I don't blame ya one damn bit for that—he fucking, he stuck a  _flaming candle_  against your precious skin…I can't fucking imagine how horrible that felt, baby. Any sane person would probably wish to die too when being fucking burnt alive—dear God, I just—I hope that sick devil gets raped the entire time he's in prison. He needs to be put through everything he's done to you and then some! No one is ever abusing you again; I'm never leaving you alone, in here, again. I don't give a fuck anymore. You're all that matters to me, doll."

* * *

Weeks quickly pass by. Lorna slowly begins to heal from yet another traumatic experience with the help of her prison family, but  _most importantly_ , Nicky. The memories still haunt her—something she knows will only go away with time—yet the fact that he's sitting in a prison cell of his own makes it a little bit easier to cope with.

It's a late Friday evening that she chooses to spend watching TV in the rec-room with Nicky when the two of them are interrupted by none other than Mr. Caputo. A knot forms in her stomach. The only time he even gives she and the redhead the time of day is when there's bad news to be delivered. She sighs, bracing herself for what he's about to inform them of.

"Morello, Nichols, I'd like for you two to come with me to my office. I have a couple of things I need to address," he states, giving them a hard stare.

Lorna inhales a sharp breath. She knew it—more unsettling news, her head shakes furiously. Her hands grip tightly on the arm-rests of her wheelchair; she fiercely pushes herself towards the long hallway to his office with a concerned Nicky right behind. Once they're in it and the older woman's seated right beside her, she looks over at the warden with frustration seeping through her big orbs.

"Why do-do ya needa tall-tall-talk to us?"

Reaching his hands up to reframe his glasses on his face, Mr. Caputo grabs the fresh paperwork off his desk and takes a quick glance over before turning his attention back to the inmates. "I've been informed that the both of you are eligible for early release and thought that might be something you'd want to know. Though, there is one stipulation that I couldn't get past for you, Morello," he responds, looking at the women across from him.

This time it's Nicky who speaks up, gently grabbing the brunette's hand under the table and holding it tight. "What exactly does that mean? Better not be somethin' stupid!"

"For Lorna to be granted early release she must testify in Christopher MacLaren's court-hearing, which is a week from now. That being said, you will both be getting released in the morning after she signs this paper that states she will be present at his hearing," Caputo pulls the form out of her file and places it on the table right in front of her. He directly points out the spot where's to sign her name, watching closely.

A slight anger finds its way to Nicky's surface. Her eyes peer darkly across into the warden's. "I'm allowed to go with her, correct? Because if ya think I'm not, you better rethink that. I don't want her anywhere near that man unless I'm with her. Ya do remember that he burned and tortured her, yeah?" She squeezes the brunette's hand tighter, trying to keep her calm while also wanting the sensation of having her nearby.

Exhaling a deep breath, Caputo nods his head. "Of course, I didn't expect anything else. Just make sure to tone down your anger or I can't stop them from throwing you out."

* * *

"I can't believe my girls are finally getting out," Red cries out, pulling them both into a tight embrace. Happy tears leak from her blue orbs as she gives a motherly kiss to the top of their heads. "And I'm so glad you're getting out together—you'll have each other to keep out of trouble…and that's mainly for you, my Nicky. You can't do anything dumb to get back in here again!"

Shaking her head with a faint smile, Nicky wraps her arms tight around her mother's neck and gazes heavily into her eyes. "Technically, this wasn't anything bad that got me sent back here…Lorna needed me," she kindly points out, giving a soothing stroke to the brunette's head with her free hand. "But I promise I won't do anything to get me in trouble again, ma. I can't—I got a sweet girlfriend to take care a." Her big brown eyes smile down at the woman she loves.

Red slowly nods, finally releasing the embrace, and takes Nicky's face into her hands. She studies her features and smiles. "You've turned into a loving and compassionate young woman, Nicky. I'm proud of you. I know you'll do well—and I better get calls from both of you at least once a day! And visits once a month; I'll miss the two of you quite a bit but I rather you be living your life than stuck in here any longer," her voice sternly commands as she runs a hand gently across the redhead's forehead.

"Course', ma. Once a month—the hell ya thinkin'? We'll be here every weekend, gotta get the scoop on the prison drama, yeah?"

With a stern gleam in her eyes, the Russian chef keeps a firm hold around her daughter's face. "You're coming once a month and that's that. I want you two to focus on living out in the real world. You don't need to be driving up here every week—I'll be fine with a phone call."

* * *

The minute the two exit the building, that very next morning, a dream-like sensation immediately overtakes Lorna. She hasn't been free in over two years—she forgot what it's like to not have to worry about someone always watching her every move. A smile slowly spreads on her face at the thought of not ever having to enter into that prison again.

"Feels good to be free, yeah?" Nicky's soft voice brings the other out of her daze. She chuckles, gently pushing her further and further past the entrance. She moves them onto a curb—when she sees that Lorna's sister hasn't arrived yet—and walks over to stand in front of her. Her arms gently pull her up for a strong embrace. "Ya shoulda never been in there to begin with—sweetest thing in the world and now ya finally get to live the life ya deserve."

Lorna snakes her arms tight around the taller woman's neck, beaming happily up at her. "I-I'm happier I'm-I'm free with-with you," she murmurs, nuzzling her head gently against her.

With a slight shake of the head, Nicky pulls her closer and leans their foreheads soothingly together. Her big brown eyes pour affectionately down into Lorna's. "You're a damn sweetheart—I love ya so fuckin' much, kid," she breathes out softly against the other's lips. The tips of her fingers caress delicately across her girlfriend's forehead.

Before anything else can happen, a car finally pulls up near them and the two share a sigh of relief. Nicky pushes the wheelchair up to passenger door, stopping it right beside it, and opens it to gently help Lorna into the seat. Once she's safely secured, the redhead folds up the chair and places it in the backseat beside herself.

"My God—I can't believe the two of ya are finally free," Franny states when the two of them are finally settled in their spots. She starts driving down the road—the prison slowly fading out of their view. Her eyes dart over to look intently at her younger sister. She knows how much of a benefit having Lorna back will be to their family—ever since her incarceration things have only gone down hill for them.

The brunette, beside her, nods in agreement. A smile forms as she settles into her seat—letting her eyes drift towards the window to watch the passing surroundings. "Mmm-me neither," is her quiet response.

* * *

Later that evening, once Lorna and Nicky are finally settled into their apartment, the two find themselves sitting somewhat restlessly on the living room couch. The blatant silence that fills the air makes them realize just how use to prison they were—the constant sound of talking or fifty other women breathing is now overpowered with an almost unsettling silence.

Nicky smirks down at the brunette, ruffling her hair softly. "A little odd isn't it, kid?" She lets her lips brush ever so slightly across her girlfriend's forehead. The fact that she can kiss the woman she loves and not have to worry about getting caught by a CO is the best feeling in the world.

"It-it-it's just r-r-real quiet," the Italian gently points out while leaning her head to rest on Nicky's shoulder. Her eyes gaze warmly up at her, a faint smile spreading across her cheeks. "Wha-what do we do?"

Stroking her fingers lovingly through her brown waves, Nicky snakes her arms snug around her girlfriend's waist and pulls her closer. She nods her agreement, pressing her lips gently over top of the brunette's. "How bout' I make us a pot of coffee? I could use a cup, what about you doll?" Her big eyes melt warmly into Lorna's.

Lorna enthusiastically nods her head and then leans it over towards the small balcony off of the kitchen. "It woul-would be-be-be nice to sit out-out there and drink it…it-it-it's so sunny an-and warm out," her voice energetically suggests, a glowing smile sitting heavily on her porcelain face. It's been years since she had the chance to sit out on a porch with a fresh cup of good coffee at hand; the thought alone brings a rush of warmth through her body.

"Sounds like a perfect way to start off our new life of freedom," the other smiles back, dropping a tender kiss atop Lorna's head before getting up off the couch. She carefully grabs the wheelchair from the corner it's been pushed to and brings it over to where her girlfriend sits. When she goes to try to help the shorter woman into it, her hands are instantly refused. A disapproving frown sits on her face, " _Lorna_ , what are ya up to? You know ya can't get in it yourself."

"Why can-can-can't ya just l-l-let me try?"

Nicky gives her a stern stare while crossing her arms over her chest. Her girlfriend's stubbornness could really fuel her anger sometimes, she internalizes. "I'd rather ya not hurt yourself, Lorna. You have  _no_  feeling in your legs—how the hell can ya get yourself into the chair like that?"

With an irritated shake of her head, the younger woman grabs on onto one of the handles—yanking the chair closer to the couch—and scoots herself into it. Once she's settled into it, her brown orbs peer up into Nicky's with a somber gleam. "How's th-th-that?" She folds her arms defiantly over her chest and lets out a small smirk sit on her face.

"You're too much, kid. Ya just…I want ya to be very careful, yeah? I know ya want to be as independent as possible but not if it's going to harm you. Can ya promise me that much, sweetie?"

Lorna sighs. "I-I-I just wanna do-do-do things for my-my-myself. I needa fi-fi-find a job so-so I can help y-y-you pay rent," she stammers out, wheeling herself behind the taller woman into the kitchen.

Opening a cabinet door—above where the coffee pot sits—Nicky grabs a bag of freshly-ground coffee and places it on the counter. She turns to look at Lorna, a sternness taking over. She shakes her head, "That's not something ya need to be worrying about right now. I mean it, Lorna, don't fucking stress about that. We need to make sure you're taken care of and able to handle this stupid court-hearing next week—that's what we need to focus on right now. I don't give a shit about ya havin' job.  _I'll_  worry about the rent."

With two steaming mugs of coffee in her hands, Nicky cautiously makes her way out to the balcony. She places one on the plastic table in between the two swings and hands the other gently over to a very patiently waiting Lorna. She sits down right beside her, reaching for her own mug of steaming coffee. Sipping slowly on it, she lets her eyes dart across into the other's. It makes her smile to see how peaceful the woman she loves looks sitting out in the beautiful sunshine.

Lorna easily senses her stare and looks up from her cup to gaze back. "Ya make a-a-a mean co-co-coffee," she smiles sweetly, using her free hand to reach over to touch delicately against the redhead's cheek.

"Yeah? Well, you make a damn sweet girlfriend," Nicky chuckles in response but means every word as she peers lovingly into the brunette's gentle brown orbs. She takes a few more sips of coffee before placing it back on the table. With two free arms now, she lets them envelop protectively around Lorna's petite waist.

"Are ya worried at all about testifying in court next week? Be honest with me, kid. I know how hard it's gonna be seeing that nasty Christopher…"

The brunette lifts her head to stare up at her girlfriend. She sighs at the question—the reminder that she has to face the man who put a flame to her skin and murdered her innocent son. It's nerve-racking to say the least. Seeing him makes a huge knot form in her stomach; she just prays she doesn't have to say anything to him for she knows she'd absolutely lose all emotions.

Nicky taps her softly on the head, looking her over with slight concern. "Ya with me, Lorn?"

Pulling herself away from the many unnerving thoughts that cross her mind, the younger woman slowly nods and snakes her arms desperately tight around Nicky's neck. "I-I just…I'm kinda s-s-scared to be-be-be in-in th-th-the same room as-as-as him," her voice lightly tremors as her eyes gaze downwards.

" _Hey_ ," Nicky softly murmurs, lifting her head back up towards her own. She lets her eyes gaze affectionately into Lorna's slightly frightened ones and pecks her tenderly on the lips. "You have every right to feel scared about that—he's hurt ya worse than anyone, the devil. But please don't think you'll be there alone; I'll be right beside ya, sweet girl. I ain't lettin' that shithead anywhere near ya. And I'm sure your sister will want to come too, yeah?"

"I-I love y-y-you, hon," the brunette hums, nestling her head gently into her neck and gazing warmly up at her. "I-I-I'm glad I'll ha-ha-have ya with-with me. You all-all-always make mmm-me feel safe."

Pulling Lorna closer to her body, a soft smile spreads across her face. She drops a loving peck onto her head, "I love ya more, baby. Ya think I'd let ya go to this by yourself? Not unless Hell freezes over." A chuckle escapes as she lets her fingers play softly with her girlfriend's silky brown waves. She shakes her head, still smiling, and cups her hands around the Italian's porcelain face—leaning their foreheads gently together.

"It warms my heart to hear ya say that—really, it does doll. I'll always do my best to make ya feel that way; it's my job as your girlfriend. And don't ya back-sass me on that, ya hear?"

Lorna nods. "Let's may-may-make love," she whispers breathily against the other's lips. A soft twinkle in her eyes as they gaze up into another pair.

Nicky momentarily freezes at her surprising suggestion. She pulls away slightly, giving her an intent look over to try and decipher her emotions. "Whoa,  _Lorn_ , are ya—are ya sure, kid? I mean I'd love to if that's what ya wanna do…that was just kinda out of the blue," she carefully words her apprehension. It's not that she doesn't want to have sex with the woman she loves—she's only worried how Lorna might fare after all that she's been through.

"It's-it's our first ni-night of free-free-freedom—we needa mmm-make it special," Lorna points out with a glowing smile.

With a light laugh, Nicky scoops her up and carefully carries her back into the apartment. "In that case, we might as well—what better way to start off our new life than with a night full of love-making?" She pecks her lips delicately over the brunette's forehead, taking her to their bedroom and gently laying her on the bed.

Laying right beside the smaller woman, Nicky turns on her side and just takes a few minutes to lovingly scope her body. Having her beautiful girlfriend with her makes the smile on her face grow. She's more than thankful for having met a woman as sweet as Lorna—especially in prison, the last place she imagined she'd find her soulmate.

Reaching her hands in front of her to cup softly around her cheeks, the redhead strokes her lips lovingly over top of Lorna's. "My beautiful doll; I love ya so much," her voice purrs gently against her lips. The tips of her fingers brush delicately along the curve of her girlfriend's face and jaw. "How do ya wanna go about this, babe? I wanna make ya feel good but I know ya can't really feel anything down there."

"I-I-I'll make love to-to-to you," the brunette confirms, placing a trail of kisses from Nicky's lips down to her chest.

" _Baby_ , I wanna make love to you too—ya deserve to feel good," Nicky mutters, her eyes staring softly into Lorna's. She strokes her hands lovingly through her wavy hair.

Lorna sighs, stopping to gaze back at her. A smile forms; she pecks her sweetly on the lips. "Just wa-wa-wait. I nnn-needa do this."

She gently situates herself so that her legs sit on opposite sides of Nicky's body. Her hands grab the bottom of her girlfriend's shirt, slowly lifting it off of the redhead's body—throwing it to the floor—and resume touching lightly against her skin. She moves them in soft circles around the woman's stomach, making her tingle heavily from the delicate touch.

" _You_  de-de-deserve to f-f-feel good too, love," Lorna's breath hot against the taller woman's face. She moves her hands up to her cheeks, holding them securely and pecks her lips fiercely over Nicky's. "You-you've done so-so-so much for-for mmm-me and-and I can't th-thank ya enough, honey. I-I love ya mmm-more th-th-than anything."

Her lips trail lightly down her body, stopping right above her pants to plant a warm kiss. She lifts her head and replaces it with her hands that she uses to undress Nicky's bottom half—removing both her pants and underwear with slow gentle fingers. The tips of her fingers gently stroke down both of Nicky's legs, leaving tiny goosebumps in their paths. She lets her eyes wander up to stare up into the redhead's, watching intently at the pleasurable expression that slowly seems to be building on her face. That causes her smile to grow larger.

She traces her hands back up her legs and moves them closer to he genital region. Her eyes watch as Nicky immediately shuts her own, seeming to savor the gratifying sensations that begin to plague through her body. Lorna sees this as the perfect opportunity to gently insert two of her fingers inside her girlfriend and rigorously stroke up against her.

Nicky involuntary lets out a strong whimper at the fast-moving orgasm that starts to climb up her body. Her hands curl around the sheets while the rest of her body trembles at the deep amount of pleasure its being engulfed in. "Keep it coming, baby," her voice shakily pleads.

The smile glows on Lorna's face. She nods her head, rubbing her fingers all around inside of the other. Her lips press soft kisses along Nicky's bare stomach, slowly moving down to her thigh and then over to the other one as well.

Her fingers delicately make their way out and caress hearts around the taller woman's thighs over and over for several moments. She notices the desperate look up on Nicky's face and smirks—letting her fingers slowly find their way back into her hole. This time she strokes her nice and slow, trying to make the orgasm last longer but with even more intense waves of pleasure. She continues this pattern for a few more minutes before the urge slowly dissipates and finally releases her fingers.

She brings her fingers up to her mouth and slowly puts them in—allowing her tongue to quickly brush over them. A smile appears, she gazes lovingly down at the redhead. "Ya taste li-li-like heaven," her voice warmly purrs.

Nicky pulls Lorna down to lay on her bare body, kissing her warmly on the cheek and smiles. "That felt like fuckin' heaven, sweet doll. Damn—that was fucking hot," she hotly says against the Italian's gentle lips. Her arms cradle protectively around her girlfriend's petite body, pulling her as close as she can have her. "You're too sweet, Lorn."

Her eyes suddenly grow serious. She gazes heavily down into Lorna's innocent orbs and touches her cheek tenderly, "My turn to make love to you, yeah kid?"

The brunette tenses up a small amount but nods her head.

Nicky notices the apprehension and immediately stops what she's doing. She rests her forehead on her girlfriend's, letting her lips stroke lightly over hers. "I'm not gonna hurt ya, baby…don't be scared. I love you; please don't fear me, doll," she murmurs, rubbing her cheeks delicately with the tips of her fingers.

"I-I know ya woul-wouldn't, Nicky…I just—I don't want ya to-to-to be dis-dis-disappointed."

Those words instantly soften the older woman's demeanor even more. Her head shakes sadly; she gazes affectionately into Lorna's brown eyes, "Don't talk like that, kid. What reason is there for me to be disappointed? Baby, please don't stress over that kinda shit. I love you so fucking much and all that matters to me is that I have you."

With gentle—and cautious—hands, the redhead very slowly undresses Lorna. She throws her clothes on the floor next to her own and begins gently caressing her skin. When she comes to her abdomen and the burn-marks are in her line of view, tears threaten to spill from her eyes. She looks up at Lorna, who timidly hides her face in the pillows.

"Hey,  _hey_ … _Lorna_ , look at me. It's okay—it's okay, sweetie. I'm not gonna touch them, don't worry. I just—I never really knew how bad he burnt ya. I—do these still hurt you? Are ya hurting right now, baby? It looks so painful—God, I can't believe  _anyone_  could do this to  _you_! You're just a sweet, sweet angel—there's no reason for this shit! I swear to God if that bastard even looks at you when we're there, I'll kill him. He deserves no part of your presence."

Nicky sighs sadly when the other refuses to show her face but continues to check over the burns—needing to see what's all been done to her lover. She almost feels ill at the horrifying burns that sit—and surround—on Lorna's vaginal area. The tears flow out of her without hesitation. It makes her physically sick to know that someone actually had the nerve to do this to her.

She breaks at the sensation of Lorna's tremoring and attempts to pull away from her. Her eyes gaze solemnly down at the other; she pulls her onto her bare chest and holds her tight, stroking her hands through brown waves. "Baby, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry I scared you—I hope ya know it wasn't intentional…I just, I needed to see what that sick fucker did to you… He broke my beautiful Lorna is what he did," she cries out, pressing soft kisses repeatedly on her forehead.

"I-I-I-I did-didn't want you-you t-t-to-to-to ever see-see th-th-th-them, Nicky."

The redhead gently pulls back so that their eyes meet and caresses her thumb gently along Lorna's jawline. "Why not, sweetie?" Her lips peck delicately over the other's as she patiently waits for her response.

Lorna bows her head down and shakes it. Tears stream along her porcelain cheeks. "They-they-they're ugly and-and-and ya don't de-de-de-deserve to see some-some-something so hid-hideous," she sobs, trying to desperately pull away from her.

"They're ugly or you're ugly—shit, fuck, Lorna, I don't mean  _I_  think that…Is that what  _you're_ thinking, I meant! Either way, neither is true, sweet girl. You're the absolute gorgeous woman there is," Nicky softly murmurs into her ear, tightening her arms to make sure Lorna can't pull away. Her eyes gaze tenderly into the brunette's teary and broken ones. She feels her heart shatter. "Come here, sweetheart, please let me hold you. I wanna make ya feel better…I love you so much and it breaks my heart to see ya like this."

Loud sobs course through the brunette's body. She feels like everything's slowly closing in on her—she can hardly breathe with how hard the crying is and the fact that the woman she loves knows just how ruined her body is now. It's almost too much for she to handle. Gasps escape her as she tries to catch her breath.

"I-I-I-I c-c-c-ca-ca-can't br-bre-breathe, Ni-Ni-Nicky," she chokes out, her eyes wide with fear.

Nicky takes Lorna's head and holds it softly on her chest while using her other hand to pat softly against her back. "Yes you can, baby. Just relax; you're okay. I'm right here, I have you. You're okay, Lorna, take a breath. Shh, shh," she soothes into hear ear, rubbing her softly on the head and back to calm her down.

Lorna desperately shakes her head, "I-I-I w-w-wanna d-d-die—it-it-it hurts-hurts too mmm-much."

"No, Lorna, don't say that shit. Don't fuckin' do this shit again," the redhead angrily cries out, pulling Lorna's body closer to her own. She wraps them in the sheets and tightens her hold. "What hurts, baby? What hurts so bad that you'd say that, huh? Come on, ya gotta talk to me. We are not going back to this self-loathing shit. Hell no. I will get you a therapist if I have to. You're too important to me to let ya do anything stupid!"

The brunette fiercely shakes her head as more tears find their way to her eyes.

"You need to talk to me—tell me what's hurting too much. I wanna help you! Come on, baby, I'm your girlfriend…I need to know what's bothering you.  _Tell_  me," the older woman pleads, gazing desperately into her orbs.

"Ev-ev-everything," Lorna shakily mumbles.

Nicky kisses her softly on the head, caressing her cheeks with tender fingers. "You have two options here, doll—you can talk to me or I'll find you a therapist. You need to open up about everything that's happened. You cannot go on like this, Lorna, you're only gonna get worse and I will not let that happen. You've been through too much to give up now, sweet angel. I rather you talk to me; someone who knows you and can hold ya when it gets too painful, ya know?"

Sighing, the brunette stares timidly up into her girlfriend's warm eyes. Tears run down her cheeks as sniffles heavily escape. "I-I-I don't wan-want a th-th-therapist…"

"Then ya gotta talk to me, Lorn. I know it's hard, I do, but I'm here for you. I just, I need you to know you're safe here with me. I love you with my whole heart and I want to help you through this pain. I wanna be the one you open up to. I mean I know I should urge ya to see a therapist…but I think right now you'd get more help from me, yeah?"

Lorna slowly nods, resting her head on the other's gently rising-and-falling chest. "I-I-I only tr-tr-trust you," she mutters, burying herself closer to the warmth Nicky's skin radiates.

Stroking her hands lovingly through the other's short waves, Nicky pecks her soothingly on the lips. "Good, I'm glad you trust me. You're my baby; I'll never do anything to hurt ya," she warmly confirms, moving strands of hair from her eyes and curling them around her ears.

"You look drained, Lorn—shut your precious eyes," her voice gently commands as she pulls her closer and wraps the blanket tighter around the pair of them. She presses her lips comfortingly against the top of her forehead. "You're safe in my arms; it's okay. Close your eyes and sleep. There will be no nightmares tonight, baby. I'll hold ya all night every night for the rest of our lives. I love you so much, my pretty Lorna."

* * *

The morning they're due to head to Christopher's trial, Lorna feels a strong wave of nausea pass through her. She hovers over the toilet for what seems like years before her name is repeatedly called from the living room. The feeling slowly subsides some giving her the freedom to climb back into her wheelchair and wash herself off. She redoes some of her make-up to try and cover up the death-like paleness that seems to reside within her today.

Nicky sits on the couch worriedly waiting for her girlfriend's return. When the brunette finally wheels herself in the room, a soft smile spreads on her face. She walks over to her and takes control of the handles, pushing her out of their apartment and down the hall towards the elevator. "Aw, kid, ya look so damn cute. You're too precious," she gushes, stroking her hair lightly as they wait for the elevator to come.

"Thanks, Ni-Nicky. I-I just wish it-it-it was a diff-different occasion," Lorna sadly admits.

The redhead slightly frowns, pushing the chair slowly into the elevator once it shows up. "I know, baby, I do too. But as soon as it's over, we'll go on a date—how's that? Whatever ya wanna do, we'll do."

Hearing such suggestion, Lorna can't stop herself from smiling. She reaches a hand up to gently caress against one of the older woman's. "You-you're so s-s-sweet, hon."

Nicky massages her shoulders before they get off and hand out to the parking lot. Once they make it to their car, she very carefully scoops Lorna up from her wheelchair and places her in the passenger seat. She quickly folds up the chair and puts it in the trunk before getting in the car herself. After she's got the car started and on the road, she turns her attention to the anxious Italian beside her. She reaches over to hold one of her hands tight in her own.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Lorn. Don't worry; I'm gonna be with ya the whole time. Christopher will not do a damn thing to you, baby. He won't even look at you or he's gonna die. I promise ya that. You're safe with me; you know that."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later has them pulling into the courthouse parking lot. Lorna can't stop her hands from shaking in her lap. The realization that she'll be in her abuser's presence yet again brings a strong sensation of fear over her. She's not sure she can do this. Just seeing him will make her relive all the torturous pain he's caused to her and she knows she can't handle that.

Nicky opens her car door and scoops her in her arms, letting Lorna's head snuggle against her chest for a few silent moments. She gives a gentle kiss to her head while stroking her hair delicately. "Calm down; it's gonna be okay, sweetie. I'm right here. I'll be with ya the entire time, don't ya dare worry about a thing. I promise you will be fine; you're my strong girl."

She carries her to the back of the car to place her in her wheelchair and slowly starts pushing her towards the entrance of the courthouse. Her heart aches tremendously for how hard Lorna's body trembles; she brushes a hand delicately through her hair to help soothe her. Once they're inside—and an officer shows them where to go—the tremors only grow stronger.

Nicky pushes her along to the proper room and feels the rage begin to boil the minute her eyes land on Christopher. She bites the inside of her mouth in an effort to control the bubbling anger. Another officer comes over to them and they follow him to the plaintiff table. The redhead moves a chair so that Lorna's wheelchair can fit before taking the seat beside her. She grabs one of her hands and holds it snug in her own, letting her eyes glance over at the devilish defendant. He sits shackled at the feet and waist all while in an orange jumpsuit. She notices his hair has been shaved and—for some reason—that satisfies her to no end.

Turning her attention back to the brunette woman beside her, she feels her heart shatter. It pains her to watch the woman she loves in this much distress and not be able to do much for her. "You're safe, baby; just keep remind yourself that," she whispers, stroking her thumb tenderly over the other's knuckles.

"Lorna Morello," the judge calls out from his desk in the front of the courtroom. He looks directly back at her, a wave of sympathy washes over him at how distraught she seems to be. "Please come up to this bench right here, next to my desk. You don't have to get out of the wheelchair or anything. I just need you up here for questioning," he quickly adds the last part.

Nicky sighs, giving her hand one last loving squeeze and a reassuring smile, "You'll be okay, sweetie. Just look at me if ya need to." She watches sadly as the timid brunette slowly wheels herself up towards the judge.

Gulping, Lorna parks the chair where he directed her to go. Her hands immediately start shaking again. A shaky sigh escapes her as she tries not to glance at Christopher.

"How do you know the defendant, Miss Morello?" The prosecutor questions, coming over to stand in front of her.

"H-h-h-he, uh, what-what do you mmm-mean?"

Clearing her throat, the DA sighs. This is going to be a long hearing, she internalizes. "How long have you known Christopher MacLaren?"

The brunette closes her eyes. She squeezes them tight, too scared to see his face. All she wants is to get this over with and never have to deal with that man again. "F-f-four y-y-years."

"How did you end up meeting?"

Lorna bites her tongue trying to hold in her tears. "I-I-I was at-at a par-par-party wit-with my sister and he-he-he—he r-r-raped me," she whispers through sniffles.

Straining her ears, the prosecutor arches her eyebrows, "What was that?"

"He-he-he raped mmm-me," she chokes out, finally succumbing to the cries that threaten to plague her.

Tapping her pen on her ear, the woman questioning her shakes her head. "And did you think to go to the police after that? Obviously not since he's been sitting free for four years, huh? He could have raped multiple young women in that time—and that all could have been stopped had you told the police the first time."

Shaking her head disbelievingly, Nicky glares darkly at the prosecutor. She can't believe what she's hearing. What kind of hearing is this? She tries her hardest to keep herself from saying anything but is finding that hard to do.

Lorna looks down in shame of herself and slowly shakes her head. "I-I-I was scared and-and-and—"

" _Scared?_   _You_  were  _scared_? So you choose not to tell the police—who are supposed to keep people safe from this—because you're scared? You're willing to risk another girl's safety for your own fear?"

The petite brunette feels tears slowly pouring down her face. She bows her head down even further, wishing she was back in prison rather than dealing with this. "But he-he-he-he—"

"He-he-he-he what? You're obviously making something up since you can't even form a coherent sentence," the prosecutor crudely taunts, rolling her eyes.

Nicky shakes her head. There's no way she can sit back any longer. This has to stop. "Are ya fuckin' kidding me right now? I don't mean to interrupt but, Judge, are ya really gonna let this hood-rat mock my girlfriend's speech impediment? She can't fucking help it; she had a damn brain tumor and this fake-ass prosecutor has the audacity to make fuck of her? And on top of that she's blaming her for being raped? What the actual hell?"

The judge turns his attention to the redhead; he should be angry that she's being unruly in his courtroom but can't find it in him—not when he sees how right she is. He sighs, lifting his glasses to stare across at her. "As much as your language appalls me, I can't agree more with you. This is just getting out of hand," he nods his head, looking between the distressed brunette and finger-pointing DA.

"I'm gonna have to postpone this hearing—we're getting a new prosecutor. How dare you blame this young woman for something she has no control over and for that, you can get the hell out of my courtroom, Rochelle," he yells towards the woman; watching intently as she leaves the courtroom. Once she's finally gone, he stares down at Lorna with an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry about this—I can't even find the words to explain how horrible I feel for her behavior. I don't want to have to put you through another hearing, and from what you've told her, I think I have enough information to make my verdict…unless there's anything else you need to add."

Lorna looks up and nods her head profusely. "He-he-he burnt and-and ra-ra-raped me jus-just-just recently…and after the first time, I-I-I ended up preg-pregnant and he-he killed my baby!" A heartrending rack of sobs escape her, she looks down at the floor in shame.

The judge shakes his head to hear this. He looks over at the defendant who sits with a smirk on his face, and glares darkly at him. "Well, Miss Morello, I thank you for taking the time out of your day to come here and explain what happened. I know it must be so hard for you—all those cruel things that's happened. But I can promise you this, he's not going to be able to come anywhere near you again. Nope, because he's sentenced to three life sentences."

* * *

After a long and painful court-hearing, Nicky drives them to a secluded park in the city. She takes Lorna out of the car, placing her back in the wheelchair, and pushes her along the sidewalk until they come across a bench that sits in the middle of a colorful garden. Her arms envelop protectively around her waist, pulling her up into her arms; she takes her over to the bench and sits down with the brunette resting on her lap.

Her lips brush delicately over Lorna's head, "No more evil Christopher, huh doll?" She smiles softly, cradling her girlfriend's head delicately onto her chest.

Lorna nods, nuzzling closer to the warmth. She wraps her arms tight around Nicky's neck and lets out a big sigh of relief. It's refreshing to know that he'll be locked up for the rest of his life, she definitely thinks, but the traumatic memories will always be with her. The pain and suffering will never truly disappear and that's what makes this so hard.

"Do-do you th-think he-he-he raped more woman?"

The question brings anger to Nicky's body. She shakes her head and pecks a soft kiss onto Lorna's head, "Don't fucking listen to what that bitch said. Don't even. You did nothing— _absolutely nothing_ —wrong, baby! You don't blame yourself for what happened to you, ya hear me? None of this is your fault, doll. You did not ask to be raped. Any fucker who says that to you, bring em' to me and I'll introduce their face to my fist."

Nodding her head slowly, Lorna cuddles deeper into her chest and gazes up into big brown soft eyes. She couldn't be more grateful for having met this woman if she tried. "It-it-it's nice to-to not have-have to worry about Chris-Chris-Christopher or Mmm-Mendez an-an-anymore…I can-can fi-fi-finally breathe," she mumbles.

"You're such a strong, beautiful, sweet woman. You've been through more shit than anyone I've ever met and you still find positives in every day; I'm so prouda ya, baby. I guarantee not even a quarter of the people on this planet could handle what you've been through as well as you have—you're amazing, absolutely amazing. And I will make sure you know that each and every day. I love you so damn much, Lorna. You're a true angel," Nicky softly says, caressing her thumb tenderly up and down the side of Lorna's cheek. "From this day forth, there will be nothing but love for you. You're my baby and I will make sure you never go through anymore abuse ever. You will never go through anything horrific again—not with me; all I have you, sweet girl, is love and more love."


End file.
